Coronation Street Catch Up: the George Clooney meets Omar Sharif edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

The Rovers is on the market. Evelyn's fake injury is outed by Bernie. Peter gets a new liver. Ty and Fiz are at odds. Dev is doing the horizontal rumba with one of his employees (hint: not Evelyn).

Let's delve deeper.

Adam's decision not to get a test to see if he can spare a smidgen of liver for Peter is creating waves of discord. Daniel is disgusted. Carla is upset and angry at Sarah for convincing Adam to change his mind. Sarah thinks it might be best if Carla leaves Underworld to devote her time to Peter's new liver (and Peter too I guess). BTW, Peter's transplant was successful and the doctor is quietly optimistic.

Speaking of discord, it's all kicking off between Fiz and Ty. Ty's getting squeezed by his new squeeze (Alina) and her expensive tastes in tacky photography, espresso machines and cups. But then there's money needed for Ruby and Hope.  On top of that, Alina's impromptu make-up workshop with Hope causes more trouble as does Hope's subsequent manipulation. Evelyn manages to convince Fiz to take the high road and not escalate grievances or get lawyers involved.

Speaking of Evelyn, her unfortunate olive oil-related accident gives her the chance to make Bernie her personal servant while feigning injury. Once Bernie learns of the deception, she decides to win the affections of Cerberus as a means of revenge (by the way, give that dog a BAFTA. He's a canine de Niro).

Speaking of Bernie, something is heating up in the corner shop - and it's not a Cornish pasty. Seems Dev is doing some "stock taking" with Bernie and, by stock taking, I mean leg over. Oh yes! Kinda gives new meaning to that show "Undercover Boss" since both he and Bernie are um, under the covers.

Well, this doesn't sit well with Aadi (who catches the après sex escape of Bernie) or Asha or Mary who confronts Bernie about her overtime activities and calls her a "foul temptress".

Over at the Rovers, more discord. Johnny informs Jenny that he's putting the pub up for sale. Jenny is upset and doesn't have the money to buy out Johnny. Jenny refuses Ronnie's help as an appropriately named "sleeping partner". However, sneaky Daisy (who seems to be turning into a female version of Reptilian Rydian) has a plan which seems to be based on her success in ripping off punters with crappy Double Glammy products. 

Nina is not coping well following the death of Seb and the assault she suffered. Summer isn't doing well either and Billy is worried. An attempt to bring Summer and Nina together falls flat and Nina decides to find solace in a bottle of vodka much to Summer's dismay.

Gemma and Chesney are taking their first lessons in sign language so they can communicate with baby Aled. 

And now for some lines from the week that was:

Daniel to Adam who declined a liver test:
"You're a coward"

(yes, but as cowards go, he's one of the best)

Jenny regrets the fallout from her one-night stand with Ronnie:
"the most expensive bonk in history"

(except for Julius Caesar's famous "veni, vidi, sexi" experience)

Bernie provides a report on Cerberus' bowel movements:
"We had one dump stop - soft to middling"

(please! Not while I'm eating!)

Bernie tells Evelyn what she and Dev would be doing if Evelyn wasn't in the shop:
"We'd be undressing each other over them Garibaldis"

(please! Not while I'm eating)

Dev tries to quash any romance with Bernie:
"a woman can develop certain feelings after the physical act of love"

(boredom? fatigue? peckishness?)

Bernie's response to Dev's hubris:
"You think I fancy you because we copped off?" 

(you might think that. I couldn't possibly comment)

Dev to Bernie:
"You're a smitten kitten"

(then maybe she needs a rabies shot?)

Bernie critiques Dev's love making:
"I've had more excitement listening to Roy's trainspotting tales"

(his insight into narrow gauge railroads is quite titillating)

Evelyn to Fiz:
"Men just slither out of everything"

(no comment)

Bernie is caught post-coital by Aadi and offers an explanation:
"We were just going through the rota for the kebab shop"

(so that's what the kids are calling it now)

Bernie to Dev:
"You've got some lovely splash backs"

(and his kitchen looks pretty good too)

Bernie describes Dev to Ches and Gemma:
"kind of George Clooney meets Omar Sharif"

(are we still taking about Dev?)

***

Well, patient punters, so ends another week. A bumper crop of great lines thanks to Bernie and Dev. I couldn't include all of them but I think I managed to snag a few gems. Thanks as always for stopping by. Hope you have a great week.