Coronation Street Catch Up: the snarky little stuck-up cow edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Well, Ryan, now you've done it.  You let one night of suggestively named cocktails with a tawdry temptress (Daisy) lead to a breakup with your beautiful, smart girlfriend (Alya). 

That's the long and short of Ryan's misfortune as he aspires to be a top DJ and instead winds up  bladdered in Daisy's bed of horrors (it's like a Stephen King novel only much more scary).

Speaking of horrors, Todd is getting an unwelcome blast from the past as young Will shows up demanding more money for services rendered. As you recall, it was Will who helped engineer the breakup between Billy and Paul. Now Will is blackmailing Todd who is looking for a quick way to get his hands on a few thousand pounds. And Rev Billy just bought a heat pump for the exact sum of... a few thousand pounds. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

All this could put a wrench into Todd's wedding plans. Oh yes, it's official. First, Billy said "no" and then he said "yes". So it looks like the happy couple will tie the knot (and save money on hiring a celebrant as Billy can do that).  

The girls at the factory think Fiz should start dating but her truthful dating profile only succeeds in attracting a reporter looking to do an article about Fiz's experience with a no-good husband who left her for a fancy piece.

Curtis and Emma think that a calendar with naked Street males will raise a lot of money for Steve's charity. The only problem is that fellas like Steve and Dev aren't exactly keen on shedding their kit for the photos. One might say that's a 'small' detail.

Izzy doesn't seem to be doing very well. She doesn't seem to be able to manage working from home and her neighbour/helper is very concerned. As a result, Carla is forced to assign Izzy's workload to the rest of the Underworld staff who are not amused.

George and Sean try to play Eileen so Sean can get a place to stay and George can get a date. Verdict: it doesn't work.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Beth assures Fiz that she's good dating material:
"You've got a Prosecco personality"

(her name says it all)

Todd to George after an urn with equine ashes is given to the wrong customer.
"We can't let him put a horse on the mantelpiece"

(forget about it; no point flogging a dead horse)

Tracy to Steve on how to hide his privates for the calendar photo:
"You could cover yours with a car key"

(for an Austin Mini, one presumes)

 
Daisy to Jenny:
"I have a moral compass"

(you keep it well hidden)

Alya calls out Daisy:
"Snarky little stuck up cows that think they can get away with anything just because they're pretty"

(just about sums it up)

Daisy promises to accompany Ryan to his DJ gig: 
"I will be there right by your side shaking my maracas"

(and bring some hand percussion instruments too)

Todd proposes:
Will you, Billy Mayhew, finally make an honest man out of me?"

(not even Billy can do that!)

Daisy to Alya who is wearing the same dress... but not in the same way:.
"I feel a bit cleavagey"

(that's what happens when you shake your maracas)

Audrey to Gail:
"Hair doesn't need luck, it needs work"

(you don't have to tell Gail)

***

Well, cobble cohorts, so ends another week. Will Todd manage to suppress the truth or will his lies finally be exposed? Oh, and welcome back Peter. Looks like he's returned with his new liver installed and so far, so good. Have a great week and thanks so much for spending time here at the Hip.