Coronation Street Catch Up: the Man with a Big Dictionary edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

How low can Carl stoop?

 

It's a rhetorical question. His track record says it all. Fake MOTs, car theft, sleeping with his brother's wife, maybe even a hit and run. 

 

Now the slimy snake turns his attention to Debbie. Carl is angling to get control of Debbie's finances and he's doing it by convincing her that her dementia is getting worse. He even enlists Ronnie to convince Debbie to take a vacation so he (Carl) can have access to Deb's bank accounts.

Elsewhere the main story of the week is the missing son of Eva and Ben. Young Will (younger brother of Ollie) hasn't arrived in Weatherfield (from Hull) and his parents (and grandmother) are frantic with worry.  He finally turns up with his athletics coach who has kindly found him and brought him to the Rovers. 

 

But, hang on a minute... why didn't coach Megan call and let Eva and Ben know he was safe? And why was Will trying to get hold of his passport? Seems that Coach Megan is more than a coach and seems to be in an inappropriate relationship with young Will.

 

On the lighter side, Ben and David Platt seem to have a burgeoning feud (apparently based on Ben saying the word "ping"). David steals Ben's prized rugby shirt and things almost get out of hand before Davey backs off. Anyhow, Dave-o has bigger problems on his hands as he books a table for his wedding anniversary but gets the date wrong. Now he's in the proverbial doghouse.

 

Over at Ken's, the incessant bickering between Tracy and Cassie is reaching a fever pitch. Tracy tries to sabotage Cassie's new job at Street Cars (by disconnecting the office phone) and Cassie accuses Tracy of starting a small fire in the house (actually started by Cassie). Seems that Tracy's divorce proceedings are not going well and she's extra disagreeable as a result. 

 

Where will it all end?

 

Ty has an inkling that it may be Ruby who is sending malicious texts to Hope and he is shocked. 

 

The Lisa-Carla-Becky situation also continues as Becky sneaks a kiss with Lisa and Carla gets extra-snarky after the incident is revealed. Becky and Carla exchange unpleasantries and Carla plays a blinder by agreeing to go to Spain with Becky, Lisa and Betsy. Wedding plans for Lisa and Carla are underway but hit a roadblock when Lisa is told (by Costello) that Lisa can't marry because she's still married to her undead wife. Carla is not pleased by this news. 

 

Later, during a meeting in their usual alleyway, Costello tells Becky that she has to return to Spain, pronto. Becky refuses and Costello threatens her. 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Cassie to Ken re: Tracy's extended time in the bathroom:

"Constipation can be a very unwelcome guest"

(just check the reviews on AirBnB)

Debbie to Ronnie re: his vocabulary: 

"I do love a man with a big dictionary" 

(I'm so glad she added '...tionary' to that sentence)

Carla warns Becky to stop lip-locking Lisa:

"If you ever kiss her again, I'll kill you and this time you'll stay dead"

(if at first you don't succeed...) 

Carl tells Debbie her dementia is making her think he and James are getting it on:

"Why would I want to cop off with someone else?"

(because you've got form) 

Carla to Becky:

"You look better in a mask"

(too bad Halloween only comes once a year) 

Becky to Carla: 

"It's quite sexy being incognito" 

(yes, you might want to try it sometime since you're supposed to be dead)

Maggie to Christina: 

"You get a certain age... an undertaker is quite a catch" 

(nice to plan ahead)

 

Carla to Lisa re: Becky's motives: 

"She's come back from the dead to reclaim you"

(worst plot ever for a Stephen King book)

***

 

Well fellow Rovers regulars, so ends another week. Eva and her family seem to be taking centre stage on the Street as they get to know the other Corrie regulars (except for the fact that Ben thinks Tim is Kirk). Thanks so much for stopping by and do have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the three blessed concubines of Nick Tilsley

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

The big news?

There's a new regime at the Rovers - with a familiar face.

 

Yes, Eva Price is back in town and she's the new Rovers landlady. She's not alone. She's with husband Ben, mother-in-law (and not-so-silent owner) Maggie and precocious daughter Suzy.

 

It's quite a surprise, especially for sisters (half sisters?) Toyah and Leanne.

 

Job one for Eva is locking Toyah and Leanne in the pub until they sort out their differences and make up (in a place filled with liquids and glassware - what could possibly go wrong?)

 

Fortunately, the three can bond over their shared experience (i.e. legover relationships with Nick Tilsley).

Speaking of Nick, he proposes to Toyah (in the Bistro office. How romantic! What's the matter, was the walk-in fridge occupied?)  Toyah turns him down. 

 

Eva's main ex-squeeze is Adam and there does seem to be a bit of residual chemistry between the two especially when both Adam and Ben dress up as vampires for the Rovers Halloween party resulting in Eva momentarily mistaking Adam for Ben. Awkward! 

 

As for Ben, he seems like a nice enough chap and - surprise, surprise - he's Ollie's Dad. Ben is none too pleased with Carl whom he suspects is responsible for Ollie's MOT troubles. It doesn't take long for Carl to get his proverbial cards marked by Ben and he also gets slugged by Kev with a spanner (wrench for us Canadians). And, just to top off a bad day, Debbie catches Carl getting cozy with James at the back of the Rovers.

 

Then there's the matriarch Maggie who seems to be a bit of a tough customer until she runs into Asha and provides kind and helpful support to the troubled young woman.

 

The first event at the Rovers (under new management) is a Halloween party and the locals outdo themselves with some elaborate costumes - except for Becky who takes advantage of Carla's absence by showing up mostly dressed as herself. Becky wastes no time reminiscing with Lisa and snogging her in the ladies' bog to the seductive sounds of Joan Armatrading. 

 

Meanwhile Carla is in a prolonged snit because Becky spent the night on the sofa while Carla was away. Damn you Becky and your sneaky nocturnal habits!

 

Over at Ty's place, Gary and Izzy show up to tell Tyrone that Jake has nothing to do with the horrible text messages that Hope has been receiving. Ty is unaware of the situation and it seems that Fiz has been shielding Ty from the problem as she feels he has too much to cope with.

 

And, in the continuing cringe worthy story of psycho-scaffolder Theo, the nasty fellow pours a bottle of milk over Todd as punishment for scratching the car (that Theo gave to him). Theo certainly has an odious talent for weaponizing food (first the kebab and now the milk). When will Todd exit that toxic relationship?

 

Oh, and Tim hires Cassie to be the successor to Eileen on the switch at Street Cars. Should be interesting (and probably not in a good way). 

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Toyah to Nick re: his marriage proposal:

"I love you, I just don't want to get married"

(it's not you, it's me... on second thought, it's you) 

Ben to Carl:

"I don't like you"

(join the club) 

 

The three sisters exchange descriptions of Nick: 

"over-caffeinated headless chicken"

(...who irons his socks) 

Eva proposes a toast with Toyah and Leanne:

"To the three blessed concubines of Nick Tilsley"

(Nicky's Angels) 

Eva doubts that her name will actually be over the door of the Rovers:

"Only if I my change my name to 'Emergency Exit' "

(just call her 'Emer' for short)

Eva to Dee Dee re: Maria's unfriendly stare:

"Meanwhile that little gerbil looks on"

(That's Ms. Gerbil, if you don't mind) 

Nick to Toyah after Leanne busts in suddenly on his failed marriage proposal:

"Well that didn't go well"

(that's like saying the Titanic 'took on a bit of water') 

***

Well, fellow Rovers Regulars, so ends another week. Things certainly got interesting when Eva and her family showed up. One wonders what will happen to Sean, Glenda and Lauren as the Rovers now seems somewhat - how you say - overstaffed.  Thanks so much for spending time here at the Hip. Have a great week! 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Stiffy edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

It was the week of the Stiffy© on Coronation Street.

 

Well, almost. 

 

It seems that George has won the most prestigious award in undertaking (it's like the Emmy for people who work with dead people - except that winners don't give acceptance speeches, they give eulogies). 

 

Anyhoo, when someone calls to tell George that he's won a Stiffy, Christina answers the phone and turns it down on his behalf.

 

George is angry and upset about losing the Nobel Prize for corpse handlers but he calms down and forgives Christina, sealing their budding romance with a lip lock in the funeral parlour. 

 

That's about the only happy highlight from a downbeat week.

 

Chez Todd and Theo, the tension continues as Theo loses a big contract because he happened to sleep with the Pete the gaffer. As a result, Gary also loses out on the contract and he's not well pleased and parts ways with Theo.  

 

Theo seems to oscillate between anger and self pity and Todd continues to be the butt of Theo's ongoing nuttiness. So, when Theo gives Todd a car, Theo goes psycho when Harry spills a milkshake on the new upholstery. Terrified Todd is forced to get the car cleaned and then manages to accidentally damage the car. One dreads the reaction from his scary scaffolder partner.

 

Chez Lisa, Carla is still absent and Becky takes the opportunity to worm her way into Lisa and Betsy's good books. Becky convinces Betsy to leave Weatherfield and come to Spain with her. Since Betsy  seems to spend most of her time skiving, I'm sure she'll be able to do much the same in Spain. Small problem: Lisa is unaware of the devious plan because Becky hasn't convinced her to join her and Betsy in Spain - or even told her about the plan.

 

Over at the Bistro, it's another day, another punch up. It's like the UFC... with appetizers.

 

This time it's a harebrained scheme cooked up by Gemma and Bernie to provoke Naomi and get video of her going ballistic. 

 

Naomi (as you may recall) was the obnoxious lout(ess) who berated and assaulted Asha. Gemma and Bernie's goofball plan works (kinda) except that Dev pops in to confront Naomi and blames her for causing Asha's suicide attempt. Naomi is charged for assault but Asha is mortified by Dev's outburst which is captured on video and posted on social media. As a result, Asha leaves Dev's house and Dev tells Bernie to leave his house.

 

But that's not all that's happening at the Bistro. 

 

Cassie invites Fiz and Ty to dine. It's Cassie's attempt to mend fences but it all goes wrong when Cassie tries to help Ty slice his pizza and the deep dish delicacy ends up on the floor. Cassie is dispatched swiftly but the experience is quite embarrassing for the wheelchair-bound Ty. Even more so when a couple of lowlifes steal Fiz's purse and he's unable to do anything about it.

 

The skint duo of Abi and Carl continue to explore ways to make some cash. Abi decides that she doesn't want to squeeze money out of Kev through a divorce and retracts her demand for half of Kev's assets (much to the disappointment of Carl). Now in desperate straits, Abi considers getting in on Carl's car-stealing business but as she stakes out a car, Debbie is hiding and ready to video the theft. 

It's a lean week for good lines but here's a precious few from the week that was:

 

George to Christina re: the undertaker achievement award:

"They give you a gold grave diggers tie pin"

(they give the runner-up two gold grave diggers tie pins) 

Betsy to Becky after learning that Becky's returning to Spain:

"Have a nice life Mum. I'm glad you're not dead"

(I wonder Hallmark makes card for that?) 

Roy to Lisa:

"Do you still love Becky?"

(Can I get back to you?) 

George reads his phone message to the Rovers punters:

"OMG, I've got a Stiffy"

(if it lasts more than four hours, see Doctor Gaddas)

***

Well, fellow Stiffy Supporters, so ends another week. There's not much fun on the Street these days but at least we have George's excellence in undertaking award... or would have if Christina hadn't turned it down for him. Oh well, I guess there's always next year. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.

 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the 'quick cuppa' edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

You have to feel sorry for little Alfie. 

 

Now that Abi has moved into Roy's, the poor lad is stuck in a small flat and surrounded by railway memorabilia, bat reference books, anoraks and chess sets.

This is, of course, all down to Creepy Carl who convinces Abi that being apart is the best way for them to be together. Huh? 

 

Not only does Carl want his bachelor legover pad (i.e. free hotel room) back, but he also has his eyes on half of Kev's assets and is encouraging Abi to take steps to get moving on divorce proceedings. When will Abi see the light?

 

Meanwhile Kev remains distraught and depressed. Jack is doing no better and he even manages to sabotage Abi's job interview by pretending to be Kevin and giving her prospective employer a bad reference.

 

Elsewhere, Todd finally breaks up with Theo (yay!) after Theo decides to have a one-night stand with a rando (actually a business associate). However, Todd then changes his mind (boo!) and the couple reunite. Todd then decides to break off his friendship with Billy in order to placate Theo. So it seems that Theo's coercion and control plan is working. The only person who correctly recognizes Theo's nature is Christina.

 

Asha is released from hospital and taken home by Dev who (as usual) manages to say and do the wrong things while Asha remains in a fragile state and doesn't want people to know about her mental health issues.

 

Fiz continues to be overwhelmed by the task of taking care of Tyrone (who's in a wheelchair) while juggling all her other responsibilities. Fiz leaves Cassie in charge for a few hours but Cassie (somewhat predictably) skives off for some afternoon delight with Steve and leaves Ty on his own. As a result, Ty falls and breaks his wrist adding to his woes (and Fiz's).  

 

Over at the Salon, Bethany is the new Vice-President of Cuticles and is also giving Hope some work experience as a nail technician. A kerfuffle ensues when a customer accuses someone of stealing her diet pills and Bethany points a finger at Hope. The resulting skirmish jostles Bethany's colostomy bag. Not great for Bethany or the salon.

 

Meanwhile the tangled saga of Becky continues to unfold while Carla is away visiting family. 

 

Becky uses the opportunity to get closer to Betsy and Lisa (on the plus side, she did use the doorbell instead of just busting into Lisa's house as she usually does). While goofing around, Betsy posts a video on social media. Unfortunately, senior police guy Costello (first name Elvis?) seems to be constantly checking his 'socials' and sees Becky in the video.

 

Costello is not happy about Becky's visibility and tells her she needs to go back into hiding. 

(How soon can she book a flight back to Spain?)

Oh, and Betsy got arrested and thrown into jail after damaging a police car and having an altercation with a police officer.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was: 

 

Adam doesn't want to participate with Alya at the 'Mr and Mrs' night at the Rovers - because of his hair: 

"It goes fuzzy when it gets wet"

(too easy - make up your own joke)

Theo grovels to Todd after his bad behaviour:

"I hate myself "

(you're not the only one) 

 

Costello to Becky: 

"You need to disappear again"

(agreed) 

 

Cassie to Tracy re: eating the last slice of bread:

"I'm not going to apologize for being peckish" 

(or libidinous)

Toyah to Abi re: Carl:

"I just hope you backed the right horse"

(that's an insult to horses) 

 

Glenda to Kev after his fumbling attempt at a snog:

"I was just after the mug"

(that's what Kev thought too) 

Kev warns Tim about complacency in marriage: 

"I let Abi become part of the furniture"

(and Carl was the moving van?) 

George offers medical advice for Todd's low blood sugar symptoms: 

"We should keep some emergency donuts in the office"

(In a little case that says 'in case of emergency, break glass') 

Cassie explains why she left Tyrone alone.

"I called in for a quick cuppa at Steve's"

(so that's what they're calling it nowadays) 

***

 

Well,  fellow Street Cars Savants, so ends another week. When will Abi see the light about Carl? When will Becky go back into hiding? When will Todd recognize the true nature of Theo? So many questions, so few answers - so far. Ah well, thanks for stopping by and do have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Blow on your Bovril edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

  

Well, well. 

It's been a long time since we've seen someone throw a cheating partner's clothes out the window. 

 

I'm thinking you'd have to go back to the Stan and Hilda Ogden era, or maybe when Dev was in his prime.

 

But that's what happened when Kev discovered that Abi was playing away with Carl.

 

The whole sordid affair was revealed (by an accidental text) during Ronnie's birthday party at the Bistro (slogan: ask for our dysfunctional family meal discount).

 

Kev, as you might imagine, was mega-peeved and took a swing at Carl. Debbie decided that this was the time to share a few home truths with Abi and slagged her off before downing a vat of Proseco. James was not amused by the fact that Carl was revealed to be a two-timing bisexual (not that there's anything wrong with that... I mean the bisexual part).

 

So Abi moves out of Kev's house and takes poor Alfie over to Carl's squalid hotel room. Jack is very upset and skips school while Kev mopes around in his pajamas. All this is a prelude to Kev opening up an upstairs window and throwing Abi's clothes onto the Street as various residents look on.

 

Asha remains in hospital after her suicide attempt and Dev struggles to cope with his daughter's mental health. In fact, it seems that Dev spends a fair amount of time focused on himself rather than Asha. Bernie's inopportune words to Asha only make things worse and cause friction between Dev and Bernie. The bottom line is that Asha wants to quit her paramedic career (which is a shame because she's one of the few young people on the Street with a promising future).

  

Over at Sally and Tim's place, Sally is cheesed off with Tim for being late for their anniversary dinner. The reason? Drinking with Kev and the lads at the Rovers. Also, Tim runs into an old flame (Trisha) and she seems interested in reconnecting with Tim.

 

Sally is not impressed and even less impressed when Tim reveals to her (and Brian) that he lost his virginity to Trisha when he was 14 and she was in her twenties. (Brian lost his in his 30s or thereabout BTW).

Meanwhile Todd's relationship with Theo continues along a rocky road. Todd doesn't mention the fact that he has a health issue and needs to go to the hospital for a test. Billy insists on accompanying Todd to Weatherfield General and Theo is irritated when he sees Todd with Billy in the Rovers later. 

 

And Daniel and Bethany reach an understanding based on the fact that he doesn't want a relationship with her and she doesn't want a relationship with him. Good news for everyone (especially us).

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was: 

 

Carl to Kev after the truth comes out:

"Your marriage is dead"

(thanks for the info) 

James to Carl after he learns about Carl's affair with Abi:

"Is there anyone you've not been lying to?" 

(Hmm, let me think about that. Maybe Kirk?) 

Abi to Kev: 

"I'm in love with Carl. We're going to be together"

(in a hotel room)

Kev to Abi re: his brother: 

"Carl's a player"

(but not a very good one) 

Kev to Abi: 

"I've let you play me like a fiddle"

(Call him 'Stradivarius Webster')

Deb wants Abi to leave town:

"Greenland's nice this time of year"

(but you'll need some of those clothes that Kev chucked out on the Street) 

Kev to Abi:

"Sling your hook"

(haven't heard that for a while) 

Sally to Tim re: Trisha:

"If she was chocolate, she'd eat herself"

(like a self-consuming Mars Bar)

 

Brian to Tim re: his boyhood fling with Tricia:

"You let her blow on your Bovril?" 

(they shared a hot meat-extract drink?)

 

Sally is angry with Tim for being late for their anniversary dinner.

"You decided that you'd get drunk with your girlfriend"

(was that not a good idea?) 

 

***

Well fellow Critics of Carl, so ends another week. Carl and Abi's secret affair had to come out into the open sooner or later so why not at the Bistro during a birthday celebration? I wonder what the two lovebirds will do now with no money, no decent place to live and no jobs (assuming Abi gets fired from the garage). I guess we'll find out. 

 

As always, thanks for the pleasure of your company and do have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Dregs of Weatherfield edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

So Theo has a history of gaslighting.

 

We all remember Geoff the Gaslighter who terrorized Yasmeen for many episodes with his controlling and psycho behaviour. Now it seems Theo is doing the same thing to Todd so it looks like we're in for an excruciating sequel: Gaslighting 2.0.

 

As Yogi Berra once said, "it's like deja vu... all over again" 

 

Theo's behaviour so far has been a roller coaster of anger, self-pity and stroppiness. 

 

During a vodka promotion party (don't ask) on Canal Street, Theo runs into an ex (named Owen) who confronts Theo about Theo's gaslighting behaviour during a past relationship. When Todd asks Theo about Owen, Theo gets nasty ('natch) and storms out of the flat. 

 

Todd starts to worry after Theo disappears and he won't answer his phone (because Theo dropped it and the phone was found and passed along to Todd). 

 

Elsewhere, it seems that Jenny has lost her mojo. Ever since she lost ownership of the Rovers, Jenny has been at loose ends and is now living with Rita and working at the Kabin. After trying to wrest George from the clutches of Christina (by telling George that Rita had a serious health issue), Jenny confesses to George that it was all a lie. Her self-reflection leads to the realization that she needs a fresh start and, with the help and support of Rita and George, she leaves the Street for sunnier climes.

 

In other news, Debbie uses hotel CCTV footage to prove that Abi has been making booty calls to Carl's hotel room. Armed with this info, Debbie confronts Carl who finally admits that he's been having it off with his brother's wife (no mention of having it off with James).

 

Debbie then confronts Abi and insists that, at a minimum, she must move out of Kev's house. However Kev convinces her to stay for the sake of Alfie and Jack. Debbie relents on her threat to expose Abi and Carl for the good of the children.

 

Dev finally learns that Asha had to drop her complaint against Naomi in order for Naomi to agree to drop her lawsuit against Bernie. Dev also learns that Asha wants to quit being a paramedic. This news puts a damper on Dev and Bernie's wedding day but Asha the changes her mind about quitting and insists that Dev resume his marriage plans.

 

And, lo and behold, look who's back. It's Bethany. 

 

She has returned from her magazine job in London after sending the wrong email to the wrong person... or something like that. Bottom line: she quit before she was fired. Oh, and she stole (or borrowed) her boss' car and winds up in the Weatherfield Police Station.  Officer Kit sorts out the mess and releases Bethany into the waiting arms of Sarah. Sarah is glad to see her but taken aback by the fact that Bethany has no job, no prospects, and nowhere to live.

 

Now that Jenny's gone, I hear there's a vacancy at the Kabin... 

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Asha apologizes to Dev:

"I'm sorry for throwing a chocolate bar at you"

(next time use Wine Gums, they're softer) 

 

Christina touts her cleaning talent to George:

"My wrist action is legendary you know" 

(we're still taking about cleaning, right?) 

 

Christina is up for speed dating even though her partner recently passed away:

"Dom wouldn't want me to be miserable forever"

(yes, two weeks mourning should be more than enough)

 

Tracy re: the Rovers' speed dating event: 

"The dregs of Weatherfield all rounded up in one place"

(but surely that would include Tracy?) 

Carl to Debbie after he admits to having it off with Abi:

"What kind of scumbag does that make me?"

(a top-ranked one, I would say) 

Jenny commiserates about her life with Rita:

"I live with a nonagenarian and I work in a corner shop"

(but, on the plus side, you get free candies and get to go to bed at 9pm) 

Tracy to George: 

"You're a 3 and I'm a 10"

(let's just average it out and say you're both a 6 ½"

***

Well, fellow Canal Street Carousers, so ends another week. Sleazy Carl continues to keep Abi hanging on and uses his 'smarm charm' to convince Debbie not to tell Kev about his legover misdeeds with his brother's wife. Sorry to see Jenny leave and not that chuffed to see Bethany arrive. Lovely to see Rita supporting Jenny but heartbreaking to see her tear up in the Rovers.  

 

Thanks so much for dropping by and spending time here at the Hip. Do have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the vendetta against a dementia choir edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Well the cat's out of the bag as Abi finally tells Kev that she wants to leave him.

 

This comes just after doctors tell Kev that he remains cancer free.

The good news about his health causes Kev to start making plans for the future with Abi but then Abi drops her bombshell. Kev is devastated and angry. He confronts the slippery Carl who insists that he's not having regular legovers with Kev's wife.

 

Meanwhile, after Tracy gets a veiled threat from Carl, she tries to warn Abi about Carl's wicked ways. But Abi seems besotted with the car-stealing, lying Casanova and wants to run away with him (oh yeah, and I guess bring Alfie with them). 

 

(BTW, where is Alfie while Abi is doing the horizontal mambo with Carl?)

Elsewhere Fiz is frazzled as she tries to take care of the family, go to work and visit Tyrone in hospital. Finally Maria gives Cassie a nudge and Cassie begins to help out. Fiz convinces Evelyn to return to school although Evelyn is reluctant to leave Fiz without support.

 

It's Roy's birthday and he celebrates (unwillingly) with a small glass of orange juice in the Rovers.

 

Over at the House of Carla, Becky continues to worm her way back into the good books of Lisa and Betsy. Becky continues to pop into the house every five minutes (someone put a deadbolt on the front door!) and reminisce about old times (before she pretended she was dead for four years).

Carla is not amused. The only thing that would make things worse is if Peter Barlow showed up to really cause chaos.

 

Well, Bernie is back from her solo honeymoon and promptly finds a way to cause trouble. She decides to take matters into her own hands regarding the slime ball (Naomi) who insulted and abused Asha during Asha's paramedic shift. Seems that Naomi (when sober and not abusive) is a career counsellor and is giving a seminar at the Chariot Square Hotel. Bernie sneaks in before the seminar starts and inserts a PowerPoint slide into Naomi's presentation accusing her of being a racist.

 

Asha is not pleased with Bernie's actions especially when Naomi says she is suing Bernie for defamation.

 

Jenny tries to ask George out for a vegan meal but George declines and when Jenny shows up to become George's new cleaning lady, she discovers that Christina already has the job.

 

Danielle arrives out of the blue to tell Theo that Noah is dead. Theo is actually quite upset to learn about the news whereas Todd is less sympathetic. Also, Todd was banished from Theo's custody hearing after an outburst. Despite this, Theo was awarded visiting rights with his kids.  The two reluctant children (Millie and Miles) show up at Theo and Todd's flat and the whole evening is a tense nightmare ending with Millie storming out of the room.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:  

 

Kev to Carl: 

"I know what's been going on"

(You mean Carl and James? Or Carl and Abi? You'll have to be more specific)

Abi to Kev:

"You wouldn't want me to stay out of gratitude"

(Try me)

 

Kev to Debbie re:Abi and Carl

"I swear I'll kill the the pair of them" 

(Make it the three of them. Might as well include James)

Bernie replaces Naomi's PowerPoint slide with a slide saying: 

"I'm a massive racist"

(please hold your questions till the end of the presentation)

Naomi to Bernie:

"I'm suing you for defamation"

(yes, Naomi is not "massive") 

 

Sean to Debbie:

"It's not often you meet somebody with a vendetta against a dementia choir"

(unless it's in a Scorsese movie)  

 

Kev to Abi after his good news cancer check:

"You don't get rid of me that easy"

(actually she does) 

Kev to Abi:

"I was thinking we could get a dog"

(could be man's best friend - after Abi leaves)

***

Well, fellow Rovers regulars, so ends another week. Poor Kev is losing Abi although Creepy Carl insists he's not the bad guy. Becky continues to burst into Carla and Lisa's house whenever she feels like it. Bernie continues to meddle in other people's business with unfortunate results.

 

Thanks for the pleasure of your company here at the Hip. Great to have you aboard and have a wonderful week!