Saturday, October 14, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the dirty little secret edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Oh boy. Another week, another legover.

This time it's Gary, all freaked out from his time in the Ukraine.  He has a nice chat with Nicola, a drunken snog, a quick one upstairs and then inevitable morning regrets. But Nicola promises not to say anything. After all Gary just bought Sarah a fraternity ring (or was it an eternity ring? one or the other).

On the darker side, Bethany is taken in by Mel's hard luck story and tries to convince her to go to the police. But Mel is still under the spell of evil Nathan and is instructed by his Royal Slimeness to prevent Bethany from testifying in court.

Liz thinks she's got her job back at the Rovers but neither Toyah nor Peter can tell her the truth. Norris continues to make plans to sell the Kabin and Rita is planning a trip to the US with Gemma.

Anna tries to help out Seb at home, dealing with his addict Mom and the abysmal living conditions. Hapless Andy has come up with a plan for his release. I'd explain it but it's kinda boring and anyway Pat's not interested.

The factory girls have no job since the roofless factory is out of commission so they've come up with a crowdfunding idea to start a niche business. Daniel is looking for a good story and hears about Pat's fake flat scam. Hmm. Interesting.

And now a few lines from the week that was:

Kirk quotes from his Twitter account:
"May the force bee with you"
(Buzzer's humour)

Liz to Toyah:
"I've debarred Steve"
(pity)

Sarah to Gary:
"Were you with someone else last night?"
(yes, but only for a legover)

Nicola to Gary:
"Our dirty little secret will stay just that"
(thanks, you're a pal)

Mel to Bethany:
"Nathan saved me and now I have to save him"
(not a good idea)

***
Well, Rovers' rovers, so ends another week on the Street with Nathan still working his evil control over Mel and Bethany in danger. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.

Sunday, October 8, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the cat fight in an ornamental fountain edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

How did the wedding go, you ask?

Pretty good. Oh, of course there were the usual little peccadilloes. Eva's fake Internet-based pregnancy was revealed (nice of Maria to leave a copy of the scan under every guest's seat - just like an Oprah show).

Maria was locked in a washroom. The canapes were cold (not sure about that one). And the bride had a cat fight and ended up in a fountain with Maria and Kirk (aka Buzzer the Bee).

Eva went out on the window ledge and YouTube videos were taken of her shedding her wedding dress so she could get back into the hotel window.

Bottom line: Eva and Aidan didn't get married, then made up when they realized how well matched they were in terms of duplicity. And then they broke up again when Aidan discovered that Eva had gutted the factory. End of.

On the plus side Johnny and Jenny did get married in Rita's hospital room where she has been diagnosed with a brain tumour.

Michelle now knows that Will is her stalker and develops a dumb plan with the help of Steve ('natch) and Leanne to gather evidence about him by breaking into his flash pad. Sadly it looks like they may be caught in the act.

The factory workers aren't happy when they see that their workplace has a large skylight where the roof was and they are out of a job.

Sarah is worried about Gary and it looks like Bethany will have to repeat her school year although Audrey offers her a chance to become part of her fashion empire.

Liz's email scammer (Stuart) turns out to be the husband of Moira. Sally has a mayoral campaign debate with Buzzer the Bee/Kirk. Seems like the Bee's populist policies are winning people over.

And now for some quotes from the week that was:

Will to Michelle:
"I like to think I have impeccable taste in all things"
(especially stalking)

Adam to Eva:
"You take my breath away"
(and he's taken the factory away)

Maria to Aidan as to the provenance of Eva's fake baby scan:
"Go to www.howsickcanyouget.com"
(... and follow the links)

Eva to Aidan:
"You lied to me every day for a year"
(think of it as a 12-month advent calendar of falsehoods)

Tyrone to wedding guests:
"Don't wear a wedding dress if you're going to have a cat fight in an ornamental fountain"
(or change the oil in a Ford)

Aidan to Eva:
"I fell in love with two women"
(besides Eva and Maria?)

Eva to Adam
"If I go down, I'm taking you with me"
(I think that's what Adam had in mind)

Beth to Buzzer the Bee:
"Let's go home and make honey"
(Yuk, I'm think I'm breaking out in hives) 

Leanne to Michelle:
"I'm fed up with men ruining our lives"
(it's a tough job but someone's got to do it) 

***

Well, cobble cohorts, so ends another week. We have witnessed the faux wedding of the century, the factory is in ruins and all looks bleak for Underworld. Oh well. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the pinata filled with chocolate milk edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Fasten your seat belts as we prepare for the fake wedding of the century.

Eva's crazy revenge plan is coming to a climax and it's out of control. Adam is busy sabotaging Underworld. Maria knows that Eva is not pregnant. And Aidan is acting like a decent guy.

This follows Eva's Hen Party which was no doubt inspired by Stephen King's Carrie, since it ended with Maria whacking a pinata filled with chocolate milk and getting a Cadbury's shower. Leanne backs out of the wedding and Maria does too but then decides to stealthily check into the hotel where the marriage is to take place.

Johnny and Jenny may be cancelling out of the double wedding as Jenny has other things on her mind. She and Gemma are at the hospital watching over Rita and anxiously awaiting her test results as her memory problems get worse.

The final Mr. and Mrs. Weatherfield contestants are vying for the top prize with Mary being squired around by an unctuous contest official. Robert is in jail. Gina convinces Kirk to run for mayor using his nom de plume: Buzzer the Bee.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Peter is not impressed when Toyah reveasl the truth about Eva's sham wedding:
"I bought a new pair of shoes for this"
(maybe you can return them to Payless?)

Michelle sees Johnny, Kirk and Aidan dressed as women for their stag night:
"I didn't know they were doing a remake of Charlie's Angels"
(this one features more hair... all over)

Eva pretends to apologize for Maria's chocolate milk shower:
"I'm going to speak to the pinata company"
(ask for the person responsible for fillings)

Gemma to Rita:
"Smoothies keep you regular"
(especially if you add Metamucil)

Eva to Leanne and Toyah:
"I'm ready for Operation Revenge."
(so are we) 

Rosie to Sally:
"How do I look?" 

Sally to Rosie:
"Like a porn star"

***
Well, Cobble Colleagues, so ends another week. Don't miss Monday's double episode as it promises to be a barn burner and one of the fake weddings of the century. Thanks for stopping by. Have a great week.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Peter & Toyah surrogate edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street... 

Will he or won't he?

That's question when it comes to the coy Pat Phelan and his hapless basement captive, Andy. First Phelan digs a grave, then he's getting Andy a passport and banging on about what fun Andy will have once he's released onto the grassy hills of the Loire Valley, like some kind of post-Brexit bunny rabbit.

Now? Who knows? 

Meanwhile Norris finally convinces Rita to see a doctor but Rita bottles it and lies to Norris while her memory is getting worse. Seb and Faye make an ill-fated attempt to run away and afterwards Anna discovers that Seb is living in rough domestic conditions and we learn that, apparently, two little ones are calling him "Daddy." What gives?

Peter and Toyah almost scare away their surrogate when she discovers that Peter is an alcoholic but they talk her round and it looks like the baby-by-proxy is a go. Steve gets barred from the Rovers for being a pest and then gets barred again for good measure.

David the Dog keeps getting into Yasmeen's hydrangeas and she takes matters into her own hands by confiscating David (the dog, not the headcase). Will keeps hanging around Michelle after engineering Robert's return to jail.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Peter to the surrogate:
"Yes, I'm an alcoholic"
(and I own a pub, ironic isn't it?)

Yasmeen to David:
"David the dog annihilated my beautiful hydrangeas"
(he's like the Kim Jong-un of canines)

Peter to Steve:
"You're barred, again"
(and this time it's personal)

Toyah to Peter re: the surrogate's decision
"She's going to do it. She's going to have our baby"
(you'd better specify the surrogacy part to Peter;you know what he's like)

***
Well, Weatherfield watchers, so ends another week. C'mon Phelan. Let Andy go. Remember, Monday nights are double-shot nights of Corrie so get set for one hour of bliss. Unplug the phone and make an extra pot of tea. A packet of Cadbury chocolate fingers wouldn't go amiss either. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. 

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Lady of Law (LOL) edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Remember Street fans, Monday's on CBC will now feature back-to-back episodes of Corrie so do check your local listings for the broadcast time in your area.

Speaking of back-to-back, looks like David and Shona have settled their differences in the most amiable way possible and sealed the deal with a legover. If it were a sitcom, it would be called: "How I met Your Mother... whose son stabbed my wife."

Other news? Sally wants to run for mayor. Tim wants to run for mascot (for the local football team). Gina wants a loan for her spending habit and wangles a job in Dev's shop.  Phelan makes a Chicken Caesar salad for Andy, seemingly as a last supper gesture, but poor Andy has lost his appetite and fears that Pat will kill him (probably by boring him to death).

Poor Rita is having memory problems and Gemma is alarmed but no one else seems interested. Summer does some freelance hairdressing on Amy which turns out badly. Gary is returning to the Ukraine even though he suffered some serious injuries on his last visit.

Jenny's wedding dress designer (not Stella McCartney), reveals some stunning wedding dresses for the bridal party and, sure enough, Kate, Gemma and Maria are duly stunned - but not in a good way.

Rosie pretends to be Gemma's lawyer in order to get rid of Gemma's two bullying estate chums (Mycroft & Sherlock).

And now for a couple of lines from the week that was:

Sally to Tim:
"I want to run for Mayor of Weatherfield"
(in the fine tradition of Alf Roberts)


Two things which Rosie never does:
"eat carbs after seven and bluff"
(which comes first?)
***

Well, Phelan-hating Pals, so ends another week. Remind your friends and families about the one-hour Monday night Corrie-fest.  Have a great week and thanks for stopping by. Cheers!

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the naughty nuptials edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Yes, it's the sham wedding of the century on Coronation Street as Mary and Norris tie the quasi-knot. It's a sorta "you may now shake hands with the bride" kind of affair.

Jude's wife is suspicious of the semi-happy couple and their rationale for marriage. She is also learning more about Jude's father and the unhappy circumstances behind Jude's birth.

Chesney takes Hope and Ruby on an outing, suffers a panic attack and leaves the kids on a bus. The kids are alright and Ty finds Ches in Roy's allotment shed in a terrible state.

Shona wins 6,000 pounds on a lotto scratchcard and considers using the money to fund an appeal for her Kylie-killing son but she thinks better of it, tells David, has a tense confrontation and winds up in a snogfest at Roy's Rolls (I guess that's what they call "a full English").

Rita is becoming increasingly forgetful and, when Gemma points this out, they have a falling out. Sarah and Gary have a falling out over Gary's secret job in the Ukraine. Kate finds out about Alya and Luke.

And the surprise news of the week: in a Stephen King-esque twist, we discover that poor old Andy is being held prisoner in the basement of an old house by evil Pat Phelan and has been there for several dozen episodes - long enough to grow a hipster beard. Poor Andy.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Sean re: the appearance of Norris' tie for the wedding:
"It's small and tight and rigid, just like you"
(does it have a tiny sweater vest too?)

Sean takes a photo of the Norris/Mary wedding party:
"Everyone say 'naughty nuptials' "
(whatever happened to "cheese"?)

Jude's wife quizzes Mary about which movie she was at when Norris allegedly proposed:
"It was Mad Max 2"
(the story of an apocalyptic future? seems appropriate)

Kate catches Alya and Luke snogging in the flat:
"I hope this isn't what I think it is"
(what do you think it is?)

Norris to Mary re: their sham marriage
"It's not bona fide, it's bogus fide"
(semper fake-eles)

Nicola confronts Phelan about his temper:
"I'd heard you had a bad side"
(not just a side, more like a 360 degree panorama)

***

Well, Weatherfield watchers, so ends another week with Andy in dire straits and the truth about Mary's son about to be revealed to Jude's wife. Thanks for stopping and I hope you have a great week. Cheers!

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the pornographic message in a bouquet edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

The Kabin gets robbed and the cops are on the lookout for two jars of humbugs and several bricks of sherbet with a street value of £7.20.

Poor Rita is traumatized and points the fickle finger of fate at Gemma, working in tandem with her two thugette pals from the estate: Sherlock and Mycroft. Gemma is innocent but her protestations fall on deaf ears.

Luke and Alya become flat mates with benefits (their own shelves in the fridge?) but decide to keep it quiet lest Kate find out. Alya also finds out that Gary is planning a secret dangerous mission to Ukraine - not Hamburg as everyone thinks. However Sarah discovers the truth while Gary is heading to the airport

Nicola is flat hunting and enlists the help of Daddy Dearest, Pat "Felonius" Phelan. She doesn't get the flat and Phelan looks pissed. Seems builders don't like builders who rip off builders.

Liz gets scammed by a fake Vape bargain (a dishonest purveyor of Vape accessories? surely not?) Rosie gets a job with the esteemed legal firm of Barlow & Grimshaw, skivers at law. Chesney quits his job at Kebabs 'R' Us and refuses to go back. 

Eva re-energizes her revenge plan when she overhears Johnny and Aidan talking about Aidan's long legover history with Maria.  Eva subsequently insists on a double wedding with Johnny/Jenny, gives her onerous wedding planning job to Maria and takes off for Spain.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Mary is outraged by Tracy's dirty note accompanying the flowers Steve ordered for Leanne:
"pornographic messages in our bouquets, what's next?"
(on time deliveries?)

Rosie gets a job with Adam and Todd:
"I'm finally in the crime game"
(and the first crime was hiring Rosie)

Steve doesn't think he's a great catch:
"What kind of woman wants a bloke who's funny?"
(Amy Schumer?)

Gemma tires to convince Chesney to return to the kebab shop:
"This is your spiritual home"
(think of it as a church with hot sauce)

Gemma to Rita re: her choice of bridal dress:
"I've always wanted to look like a sexy robot from the future"
(Most likely a Dalek)

Eva tells Adam she has a change of heart:
"Underneath that pillocky exterior, I think I just got a glimpse of a guy with a heart"
(No, that's just his pillocky interior)

Maria to Aidan:
"If you go ahead with this wedding, you're more of a fool than I thought"
(how much of a fool did you think he was?)

Johnny to Kate about Kate's suspicions that something is going on between Luke and Alya:
"This isn't some kind of menage a trois?"
(No, more like a menage a deux)
***

Well, Corrie Comrades, so ends another week with Gary headed to the Ukraine, Eva headed to Spain and Gemma headed to the cop shop.  Hopefully things will work out. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!