Saturday, March 25, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the 'sexism this way' edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

The week ends with Ken barbecuing Adam's ill-gotten cash over an open flame. So how long does it take to cook British currency?  About 30 seconds per pound.

But seriously, it's all kicking off in Barlowland. Where to start? Adam sells his brick of cocaine to a shady drug dealer (is there any other kind?) Ken finds out and is so angry that he burns the drug money.

Unfortunately, the drug dealer wants his money back as "compo" for Adam's legover adventure with said drug dealer's girlfriend. This leaves Adam in a jam.

Daniel and Sinead have weighed the pros and cons of having a baby and it looks like they're going ahead. Daniel has got himself a job at the Bistro (what about his Master's degree?)

Meanwhile Peter is moving ahead with IVF with Toyah except that he's also hanging around with taxi enthusiast and flirty tipper, Chloe, who seems to now be interested in buying the Rovers.

Out on the Street, Sally is using a megaphone to draw attention to the sexist behaviour of construction workers. Rita joins the cause by chaining herself to the building site with Brian's bike lock.

Media coverage of the event is disappointing especially after the evil media dupe Rosie using Sex on the Beach (the alcoholic beverage, not the activity) to elicit bogus quotes. Fake news indeed!

Simon is upset that everyone is lying to him, most recently about Leanne's baby. Amy feels that no-one is listening to her. Michelle's grief has turned to anger and she's out for revenge so Leanne better watch her back.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Sally to Rosie:
"the thin edge of the wedgie"
(or the wedge, depending on the circumstances)


Tim's nickname for taxi customer Chloe who showers Peter with money:
"Tippy Longstocking"
(Uber would be cheaper)


Daniel to Sinead:
"I have an essay on Allen Ginsburg to finish"
(Is he the new guy at the kebab shop?)


Sally's protest sign:
"Sexism this way"
(is that a protest or is she providing directions?)


Sally to the construction supervisor::
"We're forming a human barricade"
(so you're going to need some humans?)


Gary to Roy:
"Are you really comparing Sally to Martin Luther King?"
(she doesn't have a dream)


Headline from Weatherfield Gazette online edition:
"Who's shaming who?"
(wasn't that an Aretha Franklin song?)


What not to say to Cathy after a night of drinking:
"Tripe Kebabs"
(let's just say it's a cue to spew)

***

Well, cobble compadres, so ends another week. I hate to complain but methinks the Corrie writers are going to the 'pregnancy well' for story lines a little too often. There's Leanne, Michelle and now Sinead. It's getting a little old. Who's going to be next: Rita, Mary and Liz? Anyway, thanks for stopping by.  I hope we have a great week of Corrie ahead of us. Cheers! 

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the "my daughter, the drug mule" edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Thanks, Gail for helping out at the cafe (after accusing Shona of theft)! But next time, could ya' maybe wash your hands before putting your mitts all over the punters' sticky buns?

Hygiene aside, it's been a busy week on the Street. Sally is leading a crusade against the sexist construction workers and using a megaphone to get her point across. She also found out that her private-school educated daughter was a drug mule (was that featured on career day at Oak Hill?).

Sinead and Chesney are really kaput especially after Ches was caught selling off Sinead's stuff in the kebab shop. Ken is somewhat shocked by Daniel's pugilist tendencies when he scuffles with Ches.

Speaking of pugilism, the cat fight of the week featured Michelle winning a unanimous decision over Eva while removing her from the pub by her follicles.

This followed a dramatic week when Steve admitted that he was the father of Oliver (termed "back-up baby" by Michelle). All hell broke loose afterwards among the Platts, Leanne was furious (as was Nick), while Michelle was livid. She served notice that the marriage was over, demanded half of Steve's stuff (i.e. the Rovers) and locked Steve and Liz out of the Rovers.

Maria (who's in jail) gets a visit from Liam and Eva, meanwhile Aidan is worried that Maria will spill the beans about their affair. Jenny finds a compromising photo and blackmails a client into un-cancelling his order. Oh, and everyone forgets Rita's birthday. She 37... again.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Rita to Mary & Cathy:
"I can still touch my toes when the weather's warm"
(don't come to Canada then)


Jenny to Richard the client:
"That appears to be your hand on Jemima's bum"
(or maybe it's her bum on his hand)


Richard to Jenny after being shown incriminating photos:
"You're a conniving little cow"
(and those are her good points}


Michelle is disappointed by Steve's infidelity:
"I always knew you were an idiot, but you were my idiot"
(either way, he's an idiot)


Michelle again to Steve:
"Marrying you was the worst decision of my life"
(....after auditioning for Vernon and getting engaged to Ciaran)


Mary reminisces about her job as an assistant blacksmith:
"I was the only person strong enough to lift the carthorse's leg"
(it's a tough job but someone's got to do it)


Anna to Sally:
"Your successful daughter is a drug mule"
(and not a very good one either)


Eva to Robert re: getting manhandled by Michelle:
"She's just assaulted my weave"
(call the fashion police) 
***

Well,  Corrie cohorts, so ends another week. You can't help but feel sorry for Steve. Yes, he's an idiot... but he's our idiot. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Oliver McPlattersby edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

Since Leanne had her baby in an elevator, shouldn't his name be Otis? Rather than Oliver (McDonald-Platt-Battersby)?

Anyhow, that's the big news. While trapped in an elevator Toyah and Leanne share that most magical of human moments (sibling aggro?): child birth. Mother and baby are doing fine which is more than you can say for Steve (racked with guilt since he's the biodad), Michelle (in mourning for her own child), Toyah (who desperately wants a child of her own) and Nick (destined not to be registered as father).  What a mess.

Bethany spends the night with creepy Nathan and it looks like the tanning salon perv's plan for poor Bethany is working like a charm. She's smitten with the aging oily reptile and Sarah and Gary are concerned but not aware of exactly what's going on.

Aidan is back and, surprise, he likes Jenny's idea for a line of mastectomy bras but sadly the client backs out and the project is in peril. Roy finally comes to his senses and kicks Brian out of his flat but Brian gathers intel from Cathy and wheedles his way back to Chez Roy through the strategic deployment of  Roy's fave dish, Shepherd's Pie.

Adam ostensibly applies for a job at a local law firm but uses the occasion to sweet talk the secretary and gather info about a drug-oriented client, possibly as a means to unload his brick of cocaine.

Young Liam confesses to killing Darryl the Rat (Craig's pet) so he can go to jail to see his Mom. Poor little lad. Oh, and Beth is back.

And now for some lines from the week that was:

Sarah to Bethany regarding news of a young girl being kidnapped:
"There's some horrible people out there"
(and they're mostly at the Supreme tanning salon)

Adam to Daniel:
"Working for other people is for losers"
(so unemployment is for winners?)


Bethany to Nathan:
"I don't want to sleep on the sofa"
(actually you really do)


Michelle confesses to Steve:
"I tried to kiss Robert"
(He fathered a sprog with Leanne, so let's call it even)


Steve to Liz re: the birth of Oliver:
"It's their baby, not mine"
(that's not what the DNA says)

***
Well, cobble compadres, so ends another week. The baby crisis is heading into high gear and I fear Steve's troubles will only get worse.  Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Friday, March 10, 2017

In memory of Darryl "the rat" Tinker: RIP (Rodent in Peace)


Coronation Street lost one of its most accomplished rodent thespians this week when Darryl the Rat went missing and his lifeless, white furry body was subsequently discovered just a few hours later.

Darryl, one of the finest rats ever to grace the cobbles of Coronation Street, made his screen debut in 2011 as Craig Tinker's pet. The namesake of Craig's plank-like, waste of space Dad (Darryl the First), the rat made an immediate impact with Corrie watchers.

His early, tense dramatic scenes with Tracy Barlow are the stuff of TV screen legend and the love/hate chemistry which later evolved between Darryl and Craig's Mom, Beth Tinker, was nuanced and sublime.

When Beth became romantically involved with Kirk, Darryl's character blossomed as the headstrong rat regularly matched wits with Kirkie and they shared an intellectual bond, as well as a common interest in food, games and animal welfare.

When Craig became romantically involved with Caitlin, Darryl was forced to come to terms with the fact that he was no longer Craig's prime interest and had been replaced by someone taller and with fewer whiskers and legs. He played the paradox of a conflicted rodent to perfection.

A special ITV tribute show is apparently not in the works and ITV executives declined to comment on any such plans which they termed "complete bollocks."

Saturday, March 4, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Pamela Escobar edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.  

If Rosie is Weatherfield's answer to Pablo Escobar, does that make Norris "El Cheapo"?
Just asking.

It looks like that brick of cocaine which Rosie unwittingly smuggled into the country is creating havoc. Rosie (dubbed Pamela Escobar by Adam) and Sophie bury the coke in the allotment, then Adam digs it up (the only real work he's ever done). Adam's plan? Sell the coke and use the cash to open the first branch of Barlow & Grimshaw (slogan: felons helping felons). Todd backs out of the deal when he discovers the provenance of the drugs.

Meanwhile Chesney and Sinead are over. Sinead slept with Daniel and Adam told Ches. Now Sinead and Daniel are living together while Daniel writes essays. Ken is not impressed by Daniel's preference for fornication over education, or Masters & Johnson over a Master's degree.

Luke wants to go to Bristol to find Andy but Phelan manipulates Tracy so that the trip gets cancelled. And, he seems to be ripping off Ken during the Barlow's kitchen reno. Is there anything that Phelan can't do?

Speaking of despicableness, that Nathan fellow gets arrested by the cops (in connection with a missing girl) only to beg Bethany to lie and provide him with an alibi. Leanne is not talking to her sisters (after the fallout from the revelation of Toyah's extended legover with Peter) and Simon wants to keep it that way.

And,finally, Sophie is taking over Tim's window cleaning business and intent on climbing the ladder of success.

Now for a few lines from last week:

Chesney storms into Underworld to confront Sinead:
"It's not what she's been doing, it's who she's been doing"
(Daniel might say "whom" she's been doing)


Chesney to Sinead:
"So you sleep with the first virgin who comes along?"
(No point waiting. There aren't that many on the Street to begin with)


Daniel is supposed to be writing a paper but then Ken spies Sinead in a towel:
"Some essay"
(wait till you see the body paragraph)


Ken gives Phelan more money for the kitchen and asks him not to tell his family:
"They seem to think I'm a helpless, gullible old man"
(as does Phelan)


Ken presents a bottle of wine for dinner with Sinead and Daniel
"A naive little red"
(I prefer a shy rye)

***
Well, Weatherfield Watchers, so ends another week. I have a few complaints. Yes, I'm happy to see the return of Rosie but she's like a cartoon of her former self, too over the top IMO. And that Adam really is a consummate plank - he makes Canada look bad. Anyway, thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Monday, February 27, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: The La La Land (oops, I mean Rosie Returns) edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Poor Chesney. Not only has Sinead betrayed him (by having it off with Daniel the Virgin in the Underworld storeroom) - but he also got a 'Chia Pet' haircut from David of Audrey's.

And, she's back. Rosie the Riveting swans off her flight from the US with a souvenir box of drugs. It's not her fault if her DJ boyfriend 'Antoine' gave her a mystery package of expensive white powder. How was she to know? Anyhoo, Sophie and Rosie decide to hide the nose candy in Tim's allotment. Problem solved, right?

Over at the Barlow's, Ken withdraws his financial offer to Adam after discovering that the clueless wonder cheated on his legal exam. For God's sake, Adam, where do you think you are? Canada? That toad in training, Seb, is being mentored by the mendacious Phelan who is keeping a watchful eye on his thieving protege.

Bethany is making make-up videos under the watchful (and I do mean watchful) eye of that creepy Nathan. Gemma remembers Shona as a regular at the Dog and Gun (slogan: join us for our Sunday brunch and stabbing specials). Nick proposes to Leanne (she accepts). Toyah enlists Peter in her quest for pregnancy (he accepts). 

Kevin is still mired in financial trouble and arguing with Tyrone, and Luke gets trapped under a car.

Now for a few lines from last week:

Johnny doesn't want Kate to quit Underworld:
"We do need a functioning brain in packing"
(you should have thought of that before hiring Kirk)


Rosie presents Tim with a gift from the US:
"I've always wanted a manscaping kit"
(At least Sally will be pleased)


Peter assures Toyah that he's up to the challenge of impregnation
"I've got super sperm"
(you and Steve MacDonald)


Rosie denies taking drugs:
"My body is literally a temple"
(... of doom, I would say)


Daniel to Sinead re:Adam's ability to get at the truth:
"He's like a human lie detector"
(more like a human lie)


Ken to Adam who insists he's a qualified lawyer:
"You're qualified in Canada"
(only in Canada, you say? Pity)

***

Well, patient punters, my sincere apologies for the delay in posting (I was on a mini break in Laval). It's beautiful this time of year when the construction cones are in bloom. Enjoy the week and all the best!

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Fred and Wilma Flintstone edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.     

Looks like Leanne's incisive knowledge of the Flintstones (or, as it was better known in the childhood Battersby home, "a documentary") has led her to discover that "Fred" is really Peter Barlow and "Wilma" is really Toyah.  So, "Dino" is probably Eccles and "Bam Bam" is Simon (that's quite enough -editor). Meanwhile Nick is planning to propose to Leanne.

Looks like Toyah has a strong desire to have a baby. Peter? Not so much. The couple quarrels but gets back together.

Speaking of couples, Sinead and Ches are still on the rocks. Jenny gets a big 'rock' from Johnny but Johnny also wants to give her a big prenup. Jenny's not too pleased and Kate is not too pleased at the prospect of having the Jenster as a step mom. Neither are the factory girls too pleased (especially Alya) about Jenny swanning around like Underworld's Vice President of  Snooty. Jenny's also developing a brand new mastectomy bra... but will it receive Johnny's support?

More bad news for Kevin. the insurance company won't pay for the damage to the garage.  Kevin convinces Anna to sue David Platt (does he have any money or will her damages consist of free bad haircuts for life?)  Kevster also neglects to tell Anna that Sally gave him 7,000 pounds.

Brian has weaseled his way into Roy's apartment (or should that be 'Weasel has brianed his way into Roy's apartment'... either way). Tim thinks Manolo Blahnik used to play for Everton (Leeds, surely?)

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Peter's description of Nick's demeanour:
"A mouth like a cat's backside"
(less furry though)


Jenny to Kate:
"I'm going to be your new stepmom!"
(What's the penalty for stepmatricide?)


Non-qualified lawyers Adam Barlow and Todd Grimshaw join forces as...
"Black Sheep solicitors".
(slogan: "Good quality legal advice for the price of a hotpot" or "Can't beat the odds? Head to Adam and Todd's")


Leanne gives Toyah some relationship advice:
"the last thing you need is a selfish man"
(Good thing she's having it off with Peter Barlow. Oh... wait!)


Jenny to Johnny re: the idea of a prenup:
"Who do you think you are? Kanye West?"
(Johnny's thing is less 'hip hop' and more 'sweat shop' )

***
Well, denizens of da Rovers, so ends another week and Phelan is still on the loose with no end in sight of his perfidy. Kevin's misfortunes keep going from bad to worse. Is there no end to the number of women attracted to Peter Barlow's tattooed charms?  Apparently not. I guess that's why they call his taxi a 'handsome cab'. Ouch! Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!