Sunday, September 17, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Lady of Law (LOL) edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Remember Street fans, Monday's on CBC will now feature back-to-back episodes of Corrie so do check your local listings for the broadcast time in your area.

Speaking of back-to-back, looks like David and Shona have settled their differences in the most amiable way possible and sealed the deal with a legover. If it were a sitcom, it would be called: "How I met Your Mother... whose son stabbed my wife."

Other news? Sally wants to run for mayor. Tim wants to run for mascot (for the local football team). Gina wants a loan for her spending habit and wangles a job in Dev's shop.  Phelan makes a Chicken Caesar salad for Andy, seemingly as a last supper gesture, but poor Andy has lost his appetite and fears that Pat will kill him (probably by boring him to death).

Poor Rita is having memory problems and Gemma is alarmed but no one else seems interested. Summer does some freelance hairdressing on Amy which turns out badly. Gary is returning to the Ukraine even though he suffered some serious injuries on his last visit.

Jenny's wedding dress designer (not Stella McCartney), reveals some stunning wedding dresses for the bridal party and, sure enough, Kate, Gemma and Maria are duly stunned - but not in a good way.

Rosie pretends to be Gemma's lawyer in order to get rid of Gemma's two bullying estate chums (Mycroft & Sherlock).

And now for a couple of lines from the week that was:

Sally to Tim:
"I want to run for Mayor of Weatherfield"
(in the fine tradition of Alf Roberts)


Two things which Rosie never does:
"eat carbs after seven and bluff"
(which comes first?)
***

Well, Phelan-hating Pals, so ends another week. Remind your friends and families about the one-hour Monday night Corrie-fest.  Have a great week and thanks for stopping by. Cheers!

Sunday, September 10, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the naughty nuptials edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Yes, it's the sham wedding of the century on Coronation Street as Mary and Norris tie the quasi-knot. It's a sorta "you may now shake hands with the bride" kind of affair.

Jude's wife is suspicious of the semi-happy couple and their rationale for marriage. She is also learning more about Jude's father and the unhappy circumstances behind Jude's birth.

Chesney takes Hope and Ruby on an outing, suffers a panic attack and leaves the kids on a bus. The kids are alright and Ty finds Ches in Roy's allotment shed in a terrible state.

Shona wins 6,000 pounds on a lotto scratchcard and considers using the money to fund an appeal for her Kylie-killing son but she thinks better of it, tells David, has a tense confrontation and winds up in a snogfest at Roy's Rolls (I guess that's what they call "a full English").

Rita is becoming increasingly forgetful and, when Gemma points this out, they have a falling out. Sarah and Gary have a falling out over Gary's secret job in the Ukraine. Kate finds out about Alya and Luke.

And the surprise news of the week: in a Stephen King-esque twist, we discover that poor old Andy is being held prisoner in the basement of an old house by evil Pat Phelan and has been there for several dozen episodes - long enough to grow a hipster beard. Poor Andy.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Sean re: the appearance of Norris' tie for the wedding:
"It's small and tight and rigid, just like you"
(does it have a tiny sweater vest too?)

Sean takes a photo of the Norris/Mary wedding party:
"Everyone say 'naughty nuptials' "
(whatever happened to "cheese"?)

Jude's wife quizzes Mary about which movie she was at when Norris allegedly proposed:
"It was Mad Max 2"
(the story of an apocalyptic future? seems appropriate)

Kate catches Alya and Luke snogging in the flat:
"I hope this isn't what I think it is"
(what do you think it is?)

Norris to Mary re: their sham marriage
"It's not bona fide, it's bogus fide"
(semper fake-eles)

Nicola confronts Phelan about his temper:
"I'd heard you had a bad side"
(not just a side, more like a 360 degree panorama)

***

Well, Weatherfield watchers, so ends another week with Andy in dire straits and the truth about Mary's son about to be revealed to Jude's wife. Thanks for stopping and I hope you have a great week. Cheers!

Saturday, September 2, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the pornographic message in a bouquet edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

The Kabin gets robbed and the cops are on the lookout for two jars of humbugs and several bricks of sherbet with a street value of £7.20.

Poor Rita is traumatized and points the fickle finger of fate at Gemma, working in tandem with her two thugette pals from the estate: Sherlock and Mycroft. Gemma is innocent but her protestations fall on deaf ears.

Luke and Alya become flat mates with benefits (their own shelves in the fridge?) but decide to keep it quiet lest Kate find out. Alya also finds out that Gary is planning a secret dangerous mission to Ukraine - not Hamburg as everyone thinks. However Sarah discovers the truth while Gary is heading to the airport

Nicola is flat hunting and enlists the help of Daddy Dearest, Pat "Felonius" Phelan. She doesn't get the flat and Phelan looks pissed. Seems builders don't like builders who rip off builders.

Liz gets scammed by a fake Vape bargain (a dishonest purveyor of Vape accessories? surely not?) Rosie gets a job with the esteemed legal firm of Barlow & Grimshaw, skivers at law. Chesney quits his job at Kebabs 'R' Us and refuses to go back. 

Eva re-energizes her revenge plan when she overhears Johnny and Aidan talking about Aidan's long legover history with Maria.  Eva subsequently insists on a double wedding with Johnny/Jenny, gives her onerous wedding planning job to Maria and takes off for Spain.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Mary is outraged by Tracy's dirty note accompanying the flowers Steve ordered for Leanne:
"pornographic messages in our bouquets, what's next?"
(on time deliveries?)

Rosie gets a job with Adam and Todd:
"I'm finally in the crime game"
(and the first crime was hiring Rosie)

Steve doesn't think he's a great catch:
"What kind of woman wants a bloke who's funny?"
(Amy Schumer?)

Gemma tires to convince Chesney to return to the kebab shop:
"This is your spiritual home"
(think of it as a church with hot sauce)

Gemma to Rita re: her choice of bridal dress:
"I've always wanted to look like a sexy robot from the future"
(Most likely a Dalek)

Eva tells Adam she has a change of heart:
"Underneath that pillocky exterior, I think I just got a glimpse of a guy with a heart"
(No, that's just his pillocky interior)

Maria to Aidan:
"If you go ahead with this wedding, you're more of a fool than I thought"
(how much of a fool did you think he was?)

Johnny to Kate about Kate's suspicions that something is going on between Luke and Alya:
"This isn't some kind of menage a trois?"
(No, more like a menage a deux)
***

Well, Corrie Comrades, so ends another week with Gary headed to the Ukraine, Eva headed to Spain and Gemma headed to the cop shop.  Hopefully things will work out. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, August 27, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Bring Your Own Bonsai edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

If Hugh Grant had an evil twin, it would be Will.

That's right, it turns out that Michelle's boyish charmer ex-beau is really a creepy, maniac stalker who likes to take his dates for a romantic drive... in the trunk of his car.

Poor Michelle. Meanwhile Robert (el Doofus) gets his revenge by beating up the wrong guy: Rich the drug dealer. And just to make matters worse, she finds out that Steve and Leanne are an item.

Speaking of Steve and Leanne, it seems that while the marriage is on. The lack of sexual tension is creating asexual tension. It seems that they're not so much passionate lovers as just friends without benefits.

Ches is back at work but is suffering from panic attacks. Clearly he is still feeling the after effects of the stabbing incident.

Meanwhile, it's the Grand Opening of Grimshaw & Barlow (they put the sewer in suing). Ken brings a bonsai to the party (I guess it's a BYOB party). Rosie is trying to get a job with the legal dream team but her lack of experience and knowledge is holding her back.

Gary is desperate for money and agrees to a job with his ex-army mate doing dangerous security work in the Ukraine.

Dev dispatches Erica who makes her taxi departure from the Street en route to Spain. Dev is focusing on expanding his kebab empire. Liz continues to have problems with her severe boss, Moira.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Dev tells Erica to sling her hook:
"There's nothing worse than the smell of a desperate, middle aged woman"
(what about teen spirit?)

Gemma's game of rating men:
"Snog, marry, push off a cliff"
(not necessarily in that order)

Erica explains to Eileen why she's leaving:
"Everyone hates me"
(Maybe Kev's still interested in a legover?)

Gail to Steve after she hears the news about his impending marriage to Leanne:
"How many failed marriages is this?"
(who's counting?)

***

That's it for the week. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!


Thursday, August 24, 2017

Steve McDonald vs.Gail Platt: the last marriage standing


...So, Gail walks into the Rovers just as Steve and his blended faux family are celebrating his impending marriage to the lovely Leanne.

Gail is royally cheesed off because her darling Nicky hasn't been gone for five minutes and Leanne's already playing happy families with Steve McDonald. Or, to paraphrase Herman's Hermits, she's getting married to the fella next door and he's been married several times before.

Then someone points out that Gail has been married several times too. Good point, but who's been married more times? Who's made the most return trips to the altar?

Let's see.

Gail's marriage lineage is Gail Tilsley, Platt, Hillman, McIntyre, Rodwell.

Steve's marriage lineage is Steve Arden, Phillips, Granger, Barlow, Connor.

So, that's five apiece. But wait, Steve married Karen Philips twice so that's 6-5 for Steve. Steve wins. Right?

But wait, hold on.

Gail married Brian Tilsley twice. So that's 6-6. So they're all tied up, but if Steve does marry again, Leanne will become the "tiebreaker" and he'll win. At least, by my calculations.

By the power invested in me by Blogger, I now declare them husband and wife.

Sorry, Gail.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the sleep deprivation edition

a look back at last week on Coronation Street...

Another Steve McDonald marriage proposal?

That guy has been down on one patella so often, I'm surprised he hasn't had knee replacement surgery. What is it? Five or six marriages and counting?

Yes, it looks like the hopeless - and gormless - romantic wants Leanne to marry him. Sleep deprivation has brought them together and let's hope common sense deprivation doesn't lead them to the altar.

Elsewhere, looks like Phelan is a Dad. Congratulations, Pat, it's a woman and she's not that keen on you either. Yes, Nicola has the results of her DNA test and it looks like she's 44% Viking, 20% per cent Nordic and 36% slaphead builder. Great news if she ever needs a fake flat.

Toyah is warming to the idea of surrogacy. Michelle is angry with Robert for once again not telling her the truth (about her vandalized car). Liz is still having problems at work with Moira. Maria is dating Will.

Dev learns about Erica's little flirty fling with Kev and tells her to sling her hook. Norris and Mary plan their wedding.

And now a few lines from last week:

Moira justifies her insults about Liz:
"You've got rhino skin"
(No she doesn't... although she may occasionally wear Rhino skin)

Eva to Leanne re: Maria
"Manky little tart"
(which is what she also says about Dev's bakery goods)
 
Eva wants Leanne to move in as an excuse not to be intimate with Aidan:
"It means I don't have to get jiggy with him"
(Too much information)

Tracy to Steve re: Oliver:
"I hope this baby doesn't inherit your brains"
(fingers crossed)

Michelle doesn't like Robert's gambling habit:
"That croupier knew you by name"
(Red?)

***
Well, Fellow Corrie-ites, so ends another week. Sorry about the delay in posting, I was skiving in countryside with no access to Internet and was unable to post my feverish ramblings until now.
 
But, I'm back in the saddle and have my TV warmed up and ready to find out if Leanne is ready to become the Catherine Parr of Steve's six wives. Cheers!
 

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Kosher garlic bread edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Look who's back on the scene. Tracy and Amy have surfaced just in time for Tracy to set up a play date for Amy with young Summer who is now living with Todd and Billy, following a showdown between Billy and Summer's mean Grandma.

Toyah is inconsolable after learning that her latest round of IVF has not worked. Not only that but her fertility clinic specialist tells her that she has a minimal chance of pregnancy and recommends no further IVF. The fact that Leanne keeps updating Peter on the situation doesn't help. Oh, and Leanne just received 25,000 pounds from Nick.

Liz has workplace problems as she deals with officious workplace bully boss, Moira. Over at Sally's, Gina has received a bunch of forwarded mail which could be unpaid bills.

Troubles mount at the Bistro. Daniel writes an article for the Weatherfield Gazette about the front- stabbing of Chesney. Bistro business takes an immediate dive, Legal weasel Adam convinces Ches to let him put the squeeze on Robert for compo.

Robert goes AWOL on a gambling and drinking binge while a vandal spray paints the restaurant which terrifies Michelle. And, to make matters worse, an arsonist throws a Molotov cocktail at the Bistro.

Since they're pretending to be married (in order to win a contest), Mary cuts to the chase and proposes to Norris. Meanwhile, over at the Grimshaw's, Eileen prepares some authentic Jewish cuisine for Nicola who comes by to collect a DNA sample from Phelan for a paternity test. Oy Vey!

 And now a few lines from the week that was:

Headline of Gazette article about the Bistro stabbing:
"No go Bistro"
(seems people with reservations... have reservations)

Robert upon learning that Adam is representing Chesney
"He better be useless as I think he is"
(don't worry; he is)

Mary to Norris:
"Norris Cole, will you marry me?"
(till contest do us part)

Alya is disgusted to discover that Eva is getting an office job at Underworld:
"Does anybody round here get a job on merit?" 
(No)

Todd looks over Eileen's quasi-kosher spread:
"That old Jewish favourite: garlic bread"
(like manna from Freshcos)

Liz's parting speech at the Rovers:
"I have loved every minute of working here"
(we've loved it too)

***

Well, Corrie Compadres, so ends another week with the Bistro in turmoil and under attack. Toyah is distraught. Liz is suffering under the reign of terror of Moira. Gail is snippy because of Nick's largesse to Leanne. Todd and Billy are learning how to be parents of a teenager. Oy vey, again! Have a great week and thanks for stopping by.