Sunday, June 17, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: The Death of a Wales-man edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

RIP Phelan (I guess).

Yes, it looks like the psycho slaphead came to Weatherfield (from Wales), shot a few people and was summarily dispatched by Anna Windass with a kitchen knife in the Bistro.

All in a day's work on Coronation Street.

While Pat was visiting his grandson, he shot Nicola (she's okay) and took Michelle hostage during Robert and Michelle's wedding, and then shot the bride (she's okay). Quite eventful. Let's just say the hospital was busier than the caterer during the wedding.

The fallout from the episode leaves Gary on the outs with Nicola since it was Gary who brought Phelan back to Weatherfield, let him escape and put everyone's life in danger. Nicola says she doesn't want Gary to see the baby anymore.

Other news?

David makes a report to the police about his rape and Josh is questioned but released.

Gail is willing to pay Rosemary 3,000 pounds to rid the family of the curse of Richard Hillman (I'll do it for 40 bucks and cab fare). But Gail has no money and Roy offers to lend her the cash if the psychic can prove her authenticity. Then Audrey steps in and offers to give Gail the money. Neither yet knows that arch Lothario and bunko artist Lewis Archer is behind the scheme.

The goofball Rosie and drugs story continues as Antoine from America (complete with a fake American accent) shows up with more drugs and another gullible model. A plan is hatched to expose the felon and almost goes awry until Craig steps in to save the day.

Kirk is getting quite chummy with another dog owner.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Mary is not inclined to return to the Bistro after the Phelan violence:
"When I said your creme brulee was to die for, I didn't mean it literally"
(not to mention the death by chocolate cake)

Antoine's drug pal figures out Rosie's scheme:
"Why are you talking into an MP3 player?"
(because the remote control was unavailable?)

Gail explains her desire for an exorcism to Audrey:
"This family is cursed"
(yes, but not by an external entity. The Platts are doing a great job all by themselves) 

Rosie to her fellow model:
"Antoine is using you as a donkey"
(yes, the mules were unavailable)

Maria to Robert at the wedding:
"We all know what an idiot Steve's been"
(yeah. It's common knowledge)

Newly released from jail, Anna arrives just in time to kill Phelan:
"I win"
(I didn't realize it was a contest)

Nicola to Eileen re: Pat:
"He's been dead once before"
(yes, but this time it's official)


Well, Corrie colleagues, so ends another week. Exit Pat, I guess. Things just won't be the same. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Pat Phelan encore edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Hey, guess what Gary's got in his backyard?
a) a lawnmower
b) a barbecue
c) chickens
d) Pat Phelan

If you guessed "d", you're right (although a barbecue would be nice). Yes, it seems that Gary sussed out the whereabouts of the definitely-not-dead Pat Phelan and went on a mission to Wales with a buddy to capture the scurrilous slaphead.

It was a bit dicey but he succeeds and Pat is now Gary's prisoner and nobody knows - except Sarah. Oops. 

As for Eileen's stalker/prankster/troll, turns out it was Faye and her fireworks in the attic prank caused Nicola to fall down the stairs. Fortunately Mom and new baby are fine and Faye says she's sorry so I guess that's all fine and dandy.

Apart from that, it's that time (hen party and stag do time) in preparation for the wedding of Robert and Michelle. Most noteworthy is Steve who comes to the stag dressed as Boy George (after his Karma Chameleon era).

Ali has his doubts about Robert given the steroid use and heart palpitations. Ryan? Don't ask. He arrives in town drunk and seems to want to remain in that state.

David doesn't get sent down thanks to Gary's impact statement and, now a free man, has time to reflect on the evil Josh. He meets another victim of Josh and decides he wants to make a report to the police however Josh seems ready to leave Weatherfield so it could be too late.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Rosie to Gemma re: a potential modelling gig:
"Modelling is in my bones"
(or at least her resume)

Gail to David"
"You're just not very nice at the moment"
(understatement of the century)

Victim to David:
"We both know a bloke named Josh"

Phelan to Gary:
"Hello Gary, long time no see"
(well, he has been rather busy killing people)

Sarah to Gary upon seeing Phelan in the garden shed:
"Gary, what have you done?"


Well, fellow Weathefield Wayfarers, so ends another week and Phelan's back in town. Should make for an interesting week ahead. Thanks for stopping by.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Return of Phelan edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

This week's headline: Is Pat Phelan back in Weatherfield?

It certainly looks like it. Eileen is being harassed with anonymous phone calls and other pranks and all the evidence points to the evil Slaphead making a return appearance on the Street. 

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Be afraid for Robert too. He was rushed to the hospital with chest pains and this just as Michelle and he decided to go ahead with their wedding after all and invite Ali (Michelle's biological sprog) and Ryan (Michelle's non-biological sprog).

More bad news as Zee assaults a masher who was harassing Kate and Rana. Seems like the masher was badly injured and taken to hospital and Zeedan fears that the police will find out that he's responsible. Also, Rana wants a divorce.

Johnny remains inconsolable after the death of Aidan while the trio of Jenny, Carla and Michelle try to figure out a way to prevent Alya from inheriting the factory as specified in Aidan's will. Meanwhile Rev Billy and Summer organize a "speak and save" fundraising event in memory of Aidan (much better than a charity boxing match).

Elsewhere, Seb's Mum gets a job as a mechanic at Kev and Tyrone's garage. David tries to cope with life in prison while awaiting his court appearance. And Shona is trying to dig up some dirt about Josh from his previous employers.

Flora continues to  make herself at home with Daniel and Adam and has it in for Sinead (whom she calls Shanel). Yasmeen seems to be getting along well with Geoff.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

David explains his injured hand to Shona:
"I punched a bulletin board"
(the bulletin board was taken to hospital)

Flora to Adam:
"I could knit you a chunky jumper if you like"
(how chunky?)

Former mechanic colleague tells Shona what he thinks of Josh:
"I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole"
(the barge pole's not too keen either)

Eileen to Steve:
"People are very sympathetic when they find out your husband is a serial killer"
(it could happen to anyone)

Yasmeen recounts her date with Geoff to Steve and Tim:
"He produced a live pigeon from my handbag"
(they say a bird in the hand (bag)...)

Steve and Tim make a sign for Eileen's return to Streetcars:
"Welcome back et"
(...and phone home)

Well patient punters, so ends another week. Better load up with a plate of digestives and a pot of tea because it looks like Pat is back in town. Have a great week and thanks for stopping by. Cheers!

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Aidan Connor memorial edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

In all the years I've been watching Coronation Street, I've never seen a more profoundly sad and disturbing story (perhaps with the exception of Hayley Cropper) as the suicide of Aidan.

It happens just after the going away celebration for Johnny and Jenny and the show neatly explodes all those clichés that you often hear about, or read about, following a suicide (He seemed fine. Why didn't he talk to someone? etc. etc.)

The awful news affects everyone in one way of another. Most devastated, of course, is Johnny who is inconsolable. Kate is angry. Carla soldiers on. Eva is in bits and so it goes.

The death of Aidan combined with the ever-expanding lies about Toyah's baby (who is really the daughter of Eva and Aidan) only makes matters worse.  Michelle and Robert decide to postpone their wedding plans. Sophie is upset because she received an innocuous text from Aidan on the night he died and she didn't reply.  Then there's Aidan's last will, still to be revealed.

Meanwhile David Platt finally confides in Shona the truth about his rape by Josh. That's a step forward but unfortunately he also misses his court date (on assault charges) and is remanded in custody. Not the best situation for him and he is super edgy.

Despite the reconciliation between Shona and David, Emma insists on hanging around and even convinces Gail to let her stay on at the Platt house.

Cub reporter Daniel Osborne decides to invite Vinny's Mom (Flora) to stay with him while he writes an exposé about her deplorable care home conditions. Only one snag. Adam in not chuffed about the third roommate and their bizarro Three's Company living arrangement.

On the bright side (I guess), Webster's Garage now has one of those air inflated dancing men as a promotional gimmick.

And now for a few lines from last week:

Emma to Gail re: David
"I just can't stop loving him"
(try harder)

Kate to Jenny after learning of Aidan's suicide:
"Right now, I hate him"
(what can you say?)

That's it for a very shocking and sad week. Hope we have some good news in the week ahead but then again, I wouldn't count on it. Still, thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the fake marine biologist edition

Your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

What a week! Weren't you excited by all the wedding buzz?

I'm talking about Peter and Toyah of course (who else?) Toyah returns from her mysterious escape to the country with a brand new baby, Susie. It's a miracle.... of deception because it's Eva's sprog who was given up tearfully by Eva to Toyah as part of their deal.

No-one's the wiser. Certainly not beaming Dad Peter. Flushed with joy, he proposes to Toyah. She says "yes". Cue the horse drawn carriage, St. George's Chapel and the young virtuoso cellist. Oh, but then there's Simon who knows Toyah is hiding something. He shares his suspicions with Leanne. Something's up but they can't figure out what.. yet.

Never mind. Let the champers flow at the Rovers. Speaking of cheap sparkling wine, Johnny and Jenny are having their going away party. They're off to Spain.

Craig passes his police exam despite his OCD condition. Jenny mourns the anniversary of her dead baby.

Jude finally confesses the truth about not being a marine biologist. He gets fired from his job at the aquarium gift shop and gets a job working at the Corner Shop.

Daniel is trying to help Vinny's Mom who is living in a grotty care home. On the Platt front, David faces the prospect of prison time for his assault on Gary Windass

Kirk has a promising business as a dog walker going and one of his clients is quite fit. Aidan seems to be in a very sombre mood despite all his recent good fortune and winds up on Eva's doorstep in the country.  

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Emma to David:
"If you get sent down, I'll visit you all the time"
(once a year should suffice)

Jude to Angie:
"I'm not, nor have I ever been, a marine biologist"
(what a scale of deception!)

Angie to Jude:
"I just kissed Adam Barlow"
(... and I liked it)

Peter to the Rovers crowd:
"I'm a Dad again"
(and this time he's going to get it right)

Peter describes the love of his life, Toyah:
"This beautiful, brainy, crazy woman"
(well, crazy, yes)


Well, patient punters, so ends another week. Hope you're having a great long weekend. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Speed Dal edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Yes, it's the grand opening of Zeedan's restaurant: Speed Dal.

Frankly, I would have opted for "Curry in a Hurry" or "Raita Later" or maybe even "Argy Bhaji" or... (that's quite enough - ed).

Anyway, the point is that Zee has a new business partner (Imran who's Rana's brother) and the restaurant is off to a great start.

The celebrations are interrupted briefly when Rana storms in and accuses Zee of ratting out Rana's Mum (and would-be kidnapper) to the police. But it turns out that was Kate. Merely a little tiff on the road to coupledom for Kate and Rana, although Zee still harbours delusions that he and Rana might get back together. Not likely.

A neighbourly war over a bird table pits Yasmeen against Sally. Audrey becomes collateral damage and winds up back in the hospital (with an ankle injury) but is tickled to find Jeff (the hospital DJ) there. Meanwhile Jeff seems to be more interested in Yasmeen and so it looks like we have something of a love triangle brewing. BTW Jeff is Tim Metcalfe's Dad. Yikes!

Simon is getting more delinquent by the second and seems to be hip to Toyah's strange behaviour and using it to his advantage. His thuggish little pal seems to be leading Si down the wrong path.

Meanwhile, in her own peculiar take on 'Escape to the Country', Eva sits in her rural cottage, goes into labour and gets herself stuck in the bathroom.  No time to call the midwife, but Toyah arrives to assist.

A rehabbed Billy returns to the Street but Summer is underwhelmed. Seems Billy isn't the reliable, drug-free parent she was looking for. Jude maintains his pretense of being a marine biologist but the jig could soon be up as his wife shows up at the aquarium.

David ratchets up the cuckoo factor by taking up with salon intern Emma and inviting her to move in. The rest of the Platts are gobsmacked.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Jeff entertains Audrey with a joke
"A polar bear walks into a bar... "
(you had me at "polar")

Jeff to Yasmeen:
"Do you know my son Tim Metcalfe?"
(You mean that window cleaning mogul, taxi titan & spouse of the mayor? Never heard of him)

Peter metes out punishment to Simon:
"No XBox, no phone, no internet"
(no way!)

Shona tells Summer that parents aren't perfect:
"My son's inside for murder; I've clearly made mistakes"
(you think?)

Summer does some Underworld marketing research on Eileen:
"When was the last time you wore a sports bra?"
(when running away from Phelan, probably)

Well, Weatherfield warriors, so ends another week. As always I welcome your good company and refined taste in subject matter. Have a great week and thanks so much for stopping by! Cheers!

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Free Anna Windass Now edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


That's right. Journalist, crusader and one-time boy toy Daniel Osborne is determined to Free Anna Windass Now (FAWN).

Personally, I prefer Free Anna Windass Legal Team Youth (FAWLTY). Anyway, Daniel is taking action by recording bad videos and sending them to the media. Isn't he a chip off the old block (Ken)?

Elsewhere, Eileen is finally emerging from her cocoon of denial and shock and trying to make things right. She supports FAWN, makes a video, and even lets Seb's Mum camp out on her living room sofa. By the way, seems Seb's Mum is something of an auto mechanic.

At Audrey's there's a new young hairdresser named Emma who seems to be getting on David's nerves. That's not hard to do these days since David is completely out of sorts and on edge. Gary tries to talk him round and so does Maria. David's only response is to declare his love (for Maria, not Gary).

The fallout from Kate and Rana's relationship continues after Rana's parents' failed attempt to get Rana on a one-way trip to Pakistan.

Alya is at odds with Kate and they no longer wish to share an apartment. Worse, seems that Summer is a better Underworld manager than Alya as she (Summer) catches an error in Alya's calculations while doing a sort of one-day internship to get work experience.

More fallout over at the Bistro as Michelle confronts Robert over his steroid use. Somehow Robert, who never seems to run out of screw-ups, manages to smooth things over. Not so for Carla who is in Michelle's doghouse for bunking down with Michelle's son.

On the scary side, ol' Pat Phelan seems to be checking out of his B&B in order to take care of some unfinished business. Oh oh.

Now let's have some lines from the week that was:

Gary to David:
"You've never been what you call 'well balanced'"
(thank you Dr. Freud)

Jenny to Johnny:
"You're allowed to say the word 'lesbian' in public"
(good to know)

Michelle to Robert:
"Are you using steroids, yes or no?
(tough question. Can he phone a friend?}

Rana's brother to his parents after the failed kidnap attempt:
"You are no longer my parents"
(so don't expect a mother's day or father's day card)

Gail describes Richard Hillman to Seb and Phelan:
"He killed people as well"
(thanks for sharing)

Eileen to Gail:
"My husband was more twisted and sick than your husband"
(um, it's not a contest)

Well, Corrie compadres, so ends another week. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!