Saturday, April 22, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Barlow Fertility and Felony edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Hey, coppers, here's a theory. Maybe all the Barlows (Adam, Tracy, Daniel & Peter) got together at the top of the stairs and pushed Ken?

Think of it as a family felony get-together. After all, they've all got motives. And when will the police take Eccles in for questioning? That dog's been awfully quiet over the last few episodes. And we all know he resented Ken for not picking up his 'business' during walks on the Red Rec.

Yes, the inquiry into Ken's assault and stair pushing continues and the Barlowians are in the crosshairs. Adam, Tracy, Peter and Daniel are all suspects caught up in a dizzy web of lies.

Adam didn't go to Canada (pity!). Peter sent an incriminating voicemail to Simon. Tracy lies all the time anyway. Daniel already lost one parent under mysterious circumstances which he failed to mention - for six years. Suffice to say that this tangled mystery would take several seasons of Broadchurch to solve.

Meanwhile Ken is discharged from the hospital (again) but prefers to stay Chez Roy where there are fewer Barlows and less stair pushing.

Elsewhere, Kev is skint but won't accept free groceries from Dev. Daniel tries to do a runner but Sinead catches him. Sally's online troll is still taunting her. Bethany is upset when she sees a photo of Nathan kissing Mel. Eileen is back and wins a car. Audrey breaks her arm. Fiz wants to become a massage therapist.

And now for a few lines from last week:

Ken is visited by Adam in hospital:
"I thought you were in Canada"
(it didn't take)

Tracy discovers that Adam was not in the Great White North:
"Why did you lie about being in Canada?"
(doesn't everyone? I tell people I live in Guam)

Police wonder why Daniel didn't report his missing mother earlier:
"You've done the right thing... six years too late"
(he was busy)

Tracy re: Daniel:
"He's a psycho"
(guess it runs in the family)

Peter assures Toyah that she will have a baby:
"You've got Barlow fertility on your side"
(not to mention Barlow felony)

Nick does the "j'accuse" routine on Peter:
It was you, wasn't it? You tried to kill your own Dad"
(Peter? Patricide? Preposterous?)

***

Well, fellow felony followers, so ends another week and the Barlow imbroglio continues as police have many motives but no clear suspect. The investigation continues.Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the window cleaner in heels edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Can you believe it? Ken is back in hospital... and not because he flies United.

Rather some dastardly villain actually pushed the obstreperous octogenarian down the stairs in what the police are calling attempted murder.

Mind you, ol' Ken has been doing a good job of cheesing off all and sundry like: Phelan (hurry up and finish the bloody kitchen!), Peter (is he back on the bottle and having it off with Chloe?), Amy (violins are damn expensive!), Tracy (no dosh for her florist shop!), Adam (get thee back to Canada!), Sinead (how dare you sabotage Daniel's sacred Oxford plan!), Daniel (how dare you sabotage your sacred Oxford plan!) and so on.

Todd suspects Pat Phelan is the guilty party and employs some Halloween-style tricks to give Phelan a scare once he learns about Pat's belief in the paranormal. But before you can say 'ghostbuster', Pat is ghostbusted by the police on suspicion of attempted murder.

Toyah turns to her ex after learning about Peter and Chloe but then believes that a) Peter is not back on the bottle and b) Peter is not having it off with Chloe. She decides to make up with Peter.

Brian and Cathy go to a play but Brian is reluctant to tell Roy about his burgeoning romance.

Meanwhile, Rosie wants to do a photo shoot (an embarrassing one, 'natch) to raise money for Kev's garage mortgage payment. Sally does a radio interview to promote Jenny's line of mastectomy bras but then gets bad news regarding her own health. Her cancer could be back.

Leanne tries to explain her ex to Toyah:
"Peter's a complicated man"
(you have to learn how to read between the tattoos)


Tracy is interviewed by the police:
"I didn't expect to be questioned about trying to murder my Dad"
(well, your rap sheet does say 'murder')


Ken is frustrated by Phelan's slow reno pace:
"Why am I surrounded by people who always let me down?"
(or push you down... the stairs)


Chloe's demands to Peter in exchange for not ruining his life:
"Get on your knees and say please"
(would you settle for a card and a box of Ferrero Rocher?)


Chloe has a heart-to-heart with Ken about Peter:
"He was just my taxi driver at first"
(...and then I gave him a few tips)


Anna critiques Rosie's window cleaning outfit:
"You can't clean windows in heels"
(Try wearing a pair of Manolo Blahnik flats)

***

Well, fellow Street Savants, so ends another week. Poor old Ken is back in the hospital and the police are hard at work trying to figure out who pushed him down the stairs. Ever consider David? After all he has experience. He once pushed Gail down the stairs. Just saying. Have a great weekend and a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, April 9, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Uber Gigolo edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

Looks like Peter Barlow is at it again. Sort of.

Call him the Taxi Two-timer or the Cabbie Casanova or the Lyft Lothario or even the Uber Gigolo (get on with it! - ed). The point is that ol' Pete is doing some heavy duty flirting with Chloe, while funding IVF for his main squeeze, Toyah.

But it seems that Chloe wants more than just tea and sympathy and a ride in a squalid cab. Peter assures her that she's got the wrong end of the stick but... too late.

On the Bunny Boiler scale, Chloe's currently a 7 or 8. Why? She's been tracking Peter's movements, says she wants to buy the Rovers and is now poised for a nice sit-down chat with Ken.

And that's just the tip of the Barlow iceberg. Ken is furious with Daniel for turning down a scholarship at Oxford (never heard of it. Anything like Humber College?)

Seems Daniel wants to settle down with Sinead and have a baby and work at the Bistro. How furious is Ken? Well, he has a nasty little chat with Sinead, so caustic that Sinead goes off and has a termination.

Tracy's not too thrilled either. First she hears Ken slagging off poor Deirdre (his non-academic, late wife) and then she cannot convince Ken to give her the money she needs to buy the florist premises from Peter, who needs the money to buy the pub from Steve (are you still with me?)

Elsewhere, Pat Phelan seems to believe in ghosts and is freaked out by the odd noises in Luke's apartment much to Todd's delight.

Faye's baby (Miley) and father return from Canada (wonder if they bumped into Adam at the airport?) to visit the Street. Evil Seb gets jealous and clocks Miley's dad, gets arrested and is bailed out by Phelan.

And, Michelle apologizes to Nick for trying to have it off with him as a means of revenge against Leanne.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Tracy is adamant that she is not leaving the florist premises and tells Peter:
"Trexit is not going to happen"
(quick, call Nigel Farage)


Liz to prospective pub buyer, Chloe:
"It really is a crackin' boozer"
(by which she means there are cracks in the walls and foundation)


Chloe to Ken who invites her in for a hot beverage:
"I could murder a cup of tea actually"
(just a cup of tea?)


Daniel's tutor to Daniel:
"What could possibly be more important than going to Oxford?"
(washing dishes at the Bistro?)


Brian to Toyah re:Peter's listening to customer problems:
"He's a taxi driver, not a psychotherapist"
(too bad, I hear the tips are better)


Chloe to Peter:
"Do you have a going rate for flirting?"
($5 for the first 5 minutes and thereafter, or a fixed rate of $50 to the airport)


Ken to Sinead:
"What could you possibly have in common? A shared love of Chaucer?"
(Sinead is partial to the Wife of Bath-soap's Tale)

***
Well, Coronation Street Compadres, so ends another week. Barlow discord seems to be at an all-time time high. Oh well, at least we get a respite from the troubles over at the Platt's. Enjoy the week and thanks to everyone for stopping by. Cheers!

Saturday, April 1, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the 'Guess who's coming to dinner?' edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Guess who's coming to dinner?

Hint: he's 35, creepy and owns a tanning salon which means he can make your skin burn and crawl - at the same time. Yes, it looks like Supreme Slimeball Nathan is having a nice bit of Shepherd's Pie over at Sarah and Gary's place.

It's all very civilized even though Gary makes no secret of wanting to go all Mixed Martial Arts on the over-aged, unctuous, tanning mogul with bad designs on Bethany. Alas, Bethany is love-struck and not only lies for Nathan (providing the police with a false alibi vouching for Nate's whereabouts) but also gets to mingle with Nathan's vampire-ish, degenerate buddies at a men-only party.

Elsewhere, Adam gets badly beaten by a drug dealer and winds up in the Barlow wing of the Weatherfield General. Ken, aka Mr. Compassionate, helpfully provides Adam with a bag of clothes and enough money to buy a one-way ticket back to Canada (oh sure, ship him over here - why can't we have a different Barlow?)

Good news! Maria's out of jail and sporting a fashionable ankle monitor to ensure her curfew. Aidan is worried that Maria will spill the beans about their affair but Maria is so far keeping quiet.

Who's not keeping quiet? Well, that would be Michelle. With access to Steve's email account (yawn), she discovers a nice photo of baby Oliver, Liz and the beaming Dad. She promptly lets Nick know which causes a row between Nick and Leanne because Nick doesn't want Steve to have access to the baby, while Leanne is more flexible.

Then there's Chloe. Nice lady with a bit of a Fatal Attraction thing for Peter (who wouldn't fancy a penniless alcoholic with an impressive tapestry of body tattoos?) Chloe is tracking Peter's whereabouts and playing head games with ol' Petey. Speaking of tattoos, Faye decides to get one with her birthday money mostly due to the bad influence of Seb (aka Phelan Junior).

Oh, and Steve and Toyah want to buy the Rovers... if they can sell Tracy's flower shop. Tracy's not too thrilled about losing her business.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Bethany to Mel while at Nathan's men-only, creep show party:
"I just thought there'd more girls here"  
(Yeah. You might want to get the hell out of there)


Sarah warns Bethany about bad seeds:
"There are people who are devious and horrible"
(and you can find them in tanning salons)


Ken to Adam after his run-in with a drug dealer:
"Addiction has been a great blight on this family"
(that and legovers)


Ken gives Adam some money:
"It's enough for a flight back to Canada"
(let us know when he's getting in and we'll meet him at the airport)


Mary to Tracy"
"Have you always had these murderous urges?"
(Yes)


Ken reacts to Peter's plan to buy the Rovers:
"Owning a pub is madness"
(yes, but as madness goes, it's one of the best kinds)


Sarah to Nathan:
"How old are you exactly?"
(think back to when dinosaurs roamed the earth)


Toyah to Maria:
"Manchester Tart"
(apparently they have some history)

***
Well, Weatherfield watchers, so ends another week. We're heading towards the hockey playoffs so that could mean a disruption in the Corrie broadcast schedule. In the meantime, enjoy the week ahead and thanks for stopping by and visiting. Cheers!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the 'sexism this way' edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

The week ends with Ken barbecuing Adam's ill-gotten cash over an open flame. So how long does it take to cook British currency?  About 30 seconds per pound.

But seriously, it's all kicking off in Barlowland. Where to start? Adam sells his brick of cocaine to a shady drug dealer (is there any other kind?) Ken finds out and is so angry that he burns the drug money.

Unfortunately, the drug dealer wants his money back as "compo" for Adam's legover adventure with said drug dealer's girlfriend. This leaves Adam in a jam.

Daniel and Sinead have weighed the pros and cons of having a baby and it looks like they're going ahead. Daniel has got himself a job at the Bistro (what about his Master's degree?)

Meanwhile Peter is moving ahead with IVF with Toyah except that he's also hanging around with taxi enthusiast and flirty tipper, Chloe, who seems to now be interested in buying the Rovers.

Out on the Street, Sally is using a megaphone to draw attention to the sexist behaviour of construction workers. Rita joins the cause by chaining herself to the building site with Brian's bike lock.

Media coverage of the event is disappointing especially after the evil media dupe Rosie using Sex on the Beach (the alcoholic beverage, not the activity) to elicit bogus quotes. Fake news indeed!

Simon is upset that everyone is lying to him, most recently about Leanne's baby. Amy feels that no-one is listening to her. Michelle's grief has turned to anger and she's out for revenge so Leanne better watch her back.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Sally to Rosie:
"the thin edge of the wedgie"
(or the wedge, depending on the circumstances)


Tim's nickname for taxi customer Chloe who showers Peter with money:
"Tippy Longstocking"
(Uber would be cheaper)


Daniel to Sinead:
"I have an essay on Allen Ginsburg to finish"
(Is he the new guy at the kebab shop?)


Sally's protest sign:
"Sexism this way"
(is that a protest or is she providing directions?)


Sally to the construction supervisor::
"We're forming a human barricade"
(so you're going to need some humans?)


Gary to Roy:
"Are you really comparing Sally to Martin Luther King?"
(she doesn't have a dream)


Headline from Weatherfield Gazette online edition:
"Who's shaming who?"
(wasn't that an Aretha Franklin song?)


What not to say to Cathy after a night of drinking:
"Tripe Kebabs"
(let's just say it's a cue to spew)

***

Well, cobble compadres, so ends another week. I hate to complain but methinks the Corrie writers are going to the 'pregnancy well' for story lines a little too often. There's Leanne, Michelle and now Sinead. It's getting a little old. Who's going to be next: Rita, Mary and Liz? Anyway, thanks for stopping by.  I hope we have a great week of Corrie ahead of us. Cheers! 

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the "my daughter, the drug mule" edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Thanks, Gail for helping out at the cafe (after accusing Shona of theft)! But next time, could ya' maybe wash your hands before putting your mitts all over the punters' sticky buns?

Hygiene aside, it's been a busy week on the Street. Sally is leading a crusade against the sexist construction workers and using a megaphone to get her point across. She also found out that her private-school educated daughter was a drug mule (was that featured on career day at Oak Hill?).

Sinead and Chesney are really kaput especially after Ches was caught selling off Sinead's stuff in the kebab shop. Ken is somewhat shocked by Daniel's pugilist tendencies when he scuffles with Ches.

Speaking of pugilism, the cat fight of the week featured Michelle winning a unanimous decision over Eva while removing her from the pub by her follicles.

This followed a dramatic week when Steve admitted that he was the father of Oliver (termed "back-up baby" by Michelle). All hell broke loose afterwards among the Platts, Leanne was furious (as was Nick), while Michelle was livid. She served notice that the marriage was over, demanded half of Steve's stuff (i.e. the Rovers) and locked Steve and Liz out of the Rovers.

Maria (who's in jail) gets a visit from Liam and Eva, meanwhile Aidan is worried that Maria will spill the beans about their affair. Jenny finds a compromising photo and blackmails a client into un-cancelling his order. Oh, and everyone forgets Rita's birthday. She 37... again.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Rita to Mary & Cathy:
"I can still touch my toes when the weather's warm"
(don't come to Canada then)


Jenny to Richard the client:
"That appears to be your hand on Jemima's bum"
(or maybe it's her bum on his hand)


Richard to Jenny after being shown incriminating photos:
"You're a conniving little cow"
(and those are her good points}


Michelle is disappointed by Steve's infidelity:
"I always knew you were an idiot, but you were my idiot"
(either way, he's an idiot)


Michelle again to Steve:
"Marrying you was the worst decision of my life"
(....after auditioning for Vernon and getting engaged to Ciaran)


Mary reminisces about her job as an assistant blacksmith:
"I was the only person strong enough to lift the carthorse's leg"
(it's a tough job but someone's got to do it)


Anna to Sally:
"Your successful daughter is a drug mule"
(and not a very good one either)


Eva to Robert re: getting manhandled by Michelle:
"She's just assaulted my weave"
(call the fashion police) 
***

Well,  Corrie cohorts, so ends another week. You can't help but feel sorry for Steve. Yes, he's an idiot... but he's our idiot. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Oliver McPlattersby edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

Since Leanne had her baby in an elevator, shouldn't his name be Otis? Rather than Oliver (McDonald-Platt-Battersby)?

Anyhow, that's the big news. While trapped in an elevator Toyah and Leanne share that most magical of human moments (sibling aggro?): child birth. Mother and baby are doing fine which is more than you can say for Steve (racked with guilt since he's the biodad), Michelle (in mourning for her own child), Toyah (who desperately wants a child of her own) and Nick (destined not to be registered as father).  What a mess.

Bethany spends the night with creepy Nathan and it looks like the tanning salon perv's plan for poor Bethany is working like a charm. She's smitten with the aging oily reptile and Sarah and Gary are concerned but not aware of exactly what's going on.

Aidan is back and, surprise, he likes Jenny's idea for a line of mastectomy bras but sadly the client backs out and the project is in peril. Roy finally comes to his senses and kicks Brian out of his flat but Brian gathers intel from Cathy and wheedles his way back to Chez Roy through the strategic deployment of  Roy's fave dish, Shepherd's Pie.

Adam ostensibly applies for a job at a local law firm but uses the occasion to sweet talk the secretary and gather info about a drug-oriented client, possibly as a means to unload his brick of cocaine.

Young Liam confesses to killing Darryl the Rat (Craig's pet) so he can go to jail to see his Mom. Poor little lad. Oh, and Beth is back.

And now for some lines from the week that was:

Sarah to Bethany regarding news of a young girl being kidnapped:
"There's some horrible people out there"
(and they're mostly at the Supreme tanning salon)

Adam to Daniel:
"Working for other people is for losers"
(so unemployment is for winners?)


Bethany to Nathan:
"I don't want to sleep on the sofa"
(actually you really do)


Michelle confesses to Steve:
"I tried to kiss Robert"
(He fathered a sprog with Leanne, so let's call it even)


Steve to Liz re: the birth of Oliver:
"It's their baby, not mine"
(that's not what the DNA says)

***
Well, cobble compadres, so ends another week. The baby crisis is heading into high gear and I fear Steve's troubles will only get worse.  Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!