Sunday, August 19, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Dirty Dancing edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Yeah, I'm afraid there's been more skiving on my part but let me assure you (with all the sincerity of Lewis Archer) that the summer is over and it's back to business as usual.

Speaking of business as usual, what's going on at the Rovers? Gemma and Henry are owners one day and then they're not because Henry has lost his trust fund. Can Henry make amends by getting one of those plebian money thingies called a um... loan?

Meanwhile Johnny has made a low ball offer to Peter for the pub. Peter refuses but Toyah may have the last word.

Sinead is pregnant and Daniel is delighted. Carla and Maria are becoming business partners in one of Claudia's new salons (Perm Suspect 2?) Sean continues to live rough as he finds himself homeless and then mugged by two lowlifes.

Aidan's inquest takes place and Eva makes a surprise appearance professing her love for Aidan and, in the process, effectively shunning Adam who declines to return to France with her.

Steve's deceit catches up with him and Tracy is furious to discover that she is wearing Karen's old engagement ring and that Steve attended a football match in lieu of Amy's cancelled concert. His penance? Practicing the first wedding dance (from Dirty Dancing) - although in Steve's case I fear it will be neither dirty nor dancing..

And now the quotes of the week, if you please:

Peter to Henry and Gemma:
"Here they are: the prince and the pauper"(which one is which?)

Henry to Gemma about their penniless state:
"Now we can be massive povos together"
(I guess two povos are better than one)

Peter is keen to see Steve do his 'Dirty Dancing' at the wedding:
"I would pay to see it"
(I think we'd all pay)

Sarah is keen to show Underworld products to Hanlan:
"Would you like to see our bras?"
(Is the Pope Catholic?}

Hanlan to Sarah:
"Nice cuppage"
(and he's not talking about tea)

***
Well, patient punters, it's good to be back in the saddle (and also blogging).. Thanks for sticking with me. Have a great week and I'll meet you back here after the coming week's episodes. Cheers!


Saturday, July 28, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Frozen Leg Over edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


Where was I last week, you ask?  I admit I skived off but frankly I'm also a little cheesed off at some of the desperate story lines these days.

Do we really need to stoop to stories of kids in peril (Jack and sepsis) or animals getting hurt (Eccles and the poisoned sausages)? I can't even watch the scenes with poor little Jack (who had his foot amputated) and Kevin.

Then there's Johnny Connor acting like a buffoon and trying to win custody of baby Susie because he's racked with grief over his dead son. He attends a mediation session with Eva but it looks like the baby will be staying with Eva for the time being, while Johnny rails at Jenny and tells Liz that his marriage to Jenny is over.

Toyah is upset that Peter stooped to stealing baby Susie's birth certificate and passed it on to Carla to show that Eva intended to give her baby away.

Over at the Websters, Sally got herself into trouble by helping a shady con man get council money for a phony charity. She resigns as mayor of Weatherfield.

Ches is falling for Gemma but not expressing his true feelings. Cathy and Brian decide to open a DIY store (little do they know that it's been done before by Sally and a former beau named Danny and failed).

Sean has fallen on hard times and has no place to stay although he seems to be hanging on to his job at the Rovers. Robert and Michelle get temporarily trapped in the Bistro's freezer (don't ask why).

Evil Kayla (spawn of Neil the bad copper) leaves the gas on in Craig's apartment and leads everyone to believe that Craig's OCD is responsible. Alya is trying to keep the factory afloat after Kirk and Beth's skulduggery.

And now a few lines from the week that was:

Sally ponders the image which will accompany her mayor scandal story
"I wonder which photo they're going to use of me"
(the bad one)

Johnny to Liz:
"I thought we had something"
(not really)

Mary to Shona:
"I think my toaster teacake is burning"
(that's not a euphemism)

***
Thanks for sticking with me and for coming back. Fair warning. I could be skiving again next weekend, but I'll try to check in before I leave. In the meantime, maybe we'll get some decent story lines to talk about. All the best. Cheers!

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Lord of the Rings edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

There have been some evil villains on Coronation Street (Richard Hillman, Tony Gordon, Pat Phelan) but Tyler the thug takes the cake.

Tyler isn't too happy that Simon grassed him up following his assault of poor old Flora. As payback, Tyler has his sights set on Eccles! That innocent Barlow pooch is now the target of goodness knows what insidious plot.

Elsewhere poor Jack is very ill and it took a while for the doctors to correctly diagnose the problem: sepsis. Also Kevin is seriously tanned. Not sure what the doctors are doing about that.

On the lighter side, Daniel and Sinead come up with the idea of a 50's theme party as a going away celebration for Flora who is going to live in a posh seniors residence. Flora is using part of her inheritance to give Sinead and Daniel 13,000 pounds to start a vintage clothing shop.

Meanwhile Steve is trying desperately to find the original engagement ring which he gave to Tracy because she thinks it's a romantic gesture. The only snag is that Steve-o, a veritable Lord of the Rings, has been married so many times that he's not sure which ring in his vast collection is the correct one. Other snag: Tracy thinks Ken has offered to pay for her wedding. He hasn't.

David is apprehensive about his community service. Seb and Faye seem to be getting back together again. Maria is becoming increasingly dissatisfied with her role at Audrey's salon.

Ryan keeps losing jobs and is also trying to date Bethany.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Dev to an agitated Steve who can't find Tracy's old engagement ring:
"Don't take it out on me because you've got more rings than Saturn"
(and don't get me started on Uranus)

Tracy admires the ring which Steve bought which is actually Karen's ring:
"Look at the size of that rock"
(... in Steve's head)

Mary describes Steve:
"handsome in a weather-beaten sort of way"
(well, you're half right. He's certainly weather-beaten)

Michelle to Robert when she sees Steve dressed as the King:
"Elvis has entered the building"
(Don't be cruel)

***
Well, fellow fans, so ends another week on a rather sinister note as Tyler feeds some of Roy's sausages to an unsuspecting Eccles. As if the fat and calorie content of those meat products wasn't bad enough, methinks there's something harmful to dogs in that deadly charcuterie.  Have a great week and thanks for stopping by.

Saturday, July 7, 2018

Coronation Street Catch-Up: the England versus Sweden edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


Was anyone on Coronation Street actually supporting Sweden in the World Cup?

Possibly the Street's contrarian and resident fussbudget Norris Cole (where is he anyway?) and, on an intellectual level, I suppose Ken would point out the admirable qualities of Swedish literature (Strindberg) and music (ABBA), but I think we can safely assume that les punters were 100% behind the three lions.

Speaking of Corrie (finally! - ed), I don't know about you but I miss the old Ryan. You know, the lovable mop top lad who loved his Mom and music and then went away to study. In his place, we now have Exhibit A, the new Ryan: skiver, chancer and drinker.

Ryan is skint and living with Michelle. He got and then lost a job at Speed Daal and is now trying it on with Bethany Platt. On the plus side, Ryan has figured out that Kayla (who is actually the daughter of scumbag copper Neil) is up to something as she tries to worm her way into Craig's affections.

Elsewhere, the Connors vs. Eva battle continues. Johnny has an entente with Eva which only lasts an episode last because Johnny then finds a DNA test paper which says that Adam is the father of baby Susie. However the DNA test is a fake made by Adam as an option for Eva (which Eva declines).

Peter is adamant that he wants to sell his half of the Rovers even though Toyah tries for a reconciliation.

Meanwhile, Flora, mother of the late Harvey (Vinny), has inherited 250,000 pounds from Vinny's estate. Steve is taking a dim view of Abby and the shenanigans going on at Eileen's house. Abby is upset because it seems it will be awhile before she can regain custody of her kids.

Mike is trying to get close to Liz but wonders about her relationship with Johnny. Beth and Kirk remain split up because Kirk has been walking the dog of a woman who is much younger than Beth was led to believe.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Abby to Steve after her all-night bender:
"My mouth's like the bottom of a bird cage"
(and she ain't budgie-ing from Eileen's)

Flora makes a confession to Daniel:
"I can't stand pasta" 
(call it a bolognese malaise)

Ryan to Bethany:
"I know women"
(but not personally)

Mary to Adam:
"In this life you cannot expect happiness to just fall into your lap"
(especially at Tassels)

Ryan to Bethany in Audrey's Salon:
"You've got 20 minutes to make me look even better"

Bethany to Ryan:
"Put a bag over your head. Job done."

Beth to Kirk:
"To think I gave you the best six years of my life"
(but not consecutively)

Gemma tells Bethany she doesn't want to eat too much:
"What doesn't fill me makes me stronger"
(or at least thinner)

***
Well, Fellow Footie Fanatics, so ends another week as Coronation Street continues and the World Cup is coming to an end. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Pity Leg Over edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

It's been another emotional week for Johnny Connor.

First there was the funeral for his son Aidan, then he pushes Jenny away, then he has a grief leg over with Liz, and then he finds out that he has a granddaughter, and then he decides he's going to fight for custody of the child.

Whew!

Let's break that down a bit. It all kicks off when Toyah finally confesses to Peter that their baby is actually Eva's baby. And, no, Eva didn't go to America but rather got locked in a bathroom at a cottage. Eva gave birth and gave the baby to Toyah. Toyah fooled Peter into believing that the baby was theirs via their surrogate. 

Well, it was all a lie. Peter is devastated by the truth and it could be the end for him and Toyah. And, of course, the Connors find out.

Elsewhere, the factory is in turmoil under the ownership of Alya. Before you can say "poorly stitched knickers", the workers are on strike protesting the unfair dismal of Fiz. Fiz gets reinstated but the strain of management is causing Alya to hire Sarah as a PA.

Sean seems to be short of cash, has no job and will shortly be without a place to stay. Ty plans to go out with Seb's Mom but cancels when he discovers she has ulterior motives and is looking a man in order to get her kids back from social services.

Over at Streetcars, there is a going away party for Eileen who's off to Bristol to live with Nicola and her baby. Craig has passed his police test and is interested in seeing Kayla, the waitress at SpeedDal.

And now for a few lines:

Johnny delivers the eulogy at his son's funeral:
"Aidan was a great brother and a great son"
(Amen) 

Liz refuses Johnny's advances for his own sake:
"I'm trying to save your marriage"
(it's a tough job but someone's got to do it)

Peter to Toyah after learning the truth:
"You selfish bitch"
(ouch)

Johnny wants custody of Susie, Eva's baby:
"She deserves better than that liar bringing her up"
(the gloves are off)

***
Well, fellow cobbleros, so ends another week and the truth is finally out. What will this mean for the Connors, for Peter and for Toyah? I guess we'll find out next week (somewhat appropriately during the knockout round of the World Cup). Thanks for stopping by and have a Happy Canada Day!
  

Saturday, June 23, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the I've got a Yen for Rosie edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


The week kicked off with a rollicking start as undercover boss Roy Cropper discovers that arch-Casanova Lewis Archer is behind the phony 'Ghost of Richard Hillman' scam which is causing Gail to shell out cash for an exorcism by that rare medium, Rosemary.

Well done, Roy!

Cropper, who's feeling quite randy (um, sorry I mean Randi as in magician James Randi) wrestles the felon to the ground but then old softy Audrey (who is placed on guard duty while the coppers arrive) decides to let the smooth criminal go.

Phew. In other news, the will of Aidan is causing division. On one side are Carla, Jenny and Kate who discover that Alya is the beneficiary of the factory and want to have the will contested on the basis that Aidan wasn't of sound mind.

Then there's Alya and Imran who discover the truth and confront the Connors and, in doing so, surprise Johnny who was unaware of the will and angry to hear that his family is trying to subvert the wishes of his son. Not only that but all this comes after Carla fires Alya from the factory.

Speaking of Johnny, he continues to slam Jenny and get cozy with Liz. Too cozy.

On the dog front, Kirk is having trouble keeping dog walking client Sharon at arms length. He needs the money for a vacation for Beth but he doesn't need the aggro which his job will bring.

Nicola reconsiders her decision to ban Gary from seeing the baby but is intent on moving to Bristol (Jewel of the Avon) and Eileen seems inclined to go with her despite the best attempts of Fiz and others to make her stay.

More trouble on the Barlow front as Simon calls out Eva for being a hypocrite. One wonders how long it will be before he figures out that the Barlow baby is actually Eva's.

Finally, it looks like it's sayonara to Rosie Webster as she accepts a job on a Japanese game show and discovers that her new employers have a yen for her. Ahem.

And now for a few lines:

Sean forbids Eileen from leaving:
"You are leaving Weatherfield over my dead fabulous body"
(don't trip over the designer jeans)

Kirk describes his Sharon problem to Brian and Geoff:
"Between a place and a hard rock"
(guess you'll just have to pair a grow)

Johnny to Carla:
"If you contest that will, you are dead to me"
(that's a bit extreme)

Johnny to Liz who doesn't think it's a good idea for him to stay over:
"Are you really kicking me out?"
(what part of "get on your bike" don't you understand?)

***

Well, Bistro Buddies, so ends another week on the Street and Aidan's death continues to dominate as his will divides family and friends. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, June 17, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: The Death of a Wales-man edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


RIP Phelan (I guess).

Yes, it looks like the psycho slaphead came to Weatherfield (from Wales), shot a few people and was summarily dispatched by Anna Windass with a kitchen knife in the Bistro.

All in a day's work on Coronation Street.

While Pat was visiting his grandson, he shot Nicola (she's okay) and took Michelle hostage during Robert and Michelle's wedding, and then shot the bride (she's okay). Quite eventful. Let's just say the hospital was busier than the caterer during the wedding.

The fallout from the episode leaves Gary on the outs with Nicola since it was Gary who brought Phelan back to Weatherfield, let him escape and put everyone's life in danger. Nicola says she doesn't want Gary to see the baby anymore.

Other news?

David makes a report to the police about his rape and Josh is questioned but released.

Gail is willing to pay Rosemary 3,000 pounds to rid the family of the curse of Richard Hillman (I'll do it for 40 bucks and cab fare). But Gail has no money and Roy offers to lend her the cash if the psychic can prove her authenticity. Then Audrey steps in and offers to give Gail the money. Neither yet knows that arch Lothario and bunko artist Lewis Archer is behind the scheme.

The goofball Rosie and drugs story continues as Antoine from America (complete with a fake American accent) shows up with more drugs and another gullible model. A plan is hatched to expose the felon and almost goes awry until Craig steps in to save the day.

Kirk is getting quite chummy with another dog owner.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Mary is not inclined to return to the Bistro after the Phelan violence:
"When I said your creme brulee was to die for, I didn't mean it literally"
(not to mention the death by chocolate cake)

Antoine's drug pal figures out Rosie's scheme:
"Why are you talking into an MP3 player?"
(because the remote control was unavailable?)

Gail explains her desire for an exorcism to Audrey:
"This family is cursed"
(yes, but not by an external entity. The Platts are doing a great job all by themselves) 

Rosie to her fellow model:
"Antoine is using you as a donkey"
(yes, the mules were unavailable)

Maria to Robert at the wedding:
"We all know what an idiot Steve's been"
(yeah. It's common knowledge)

Newly released from jail, Anna arrives just in time to kill Phelan:
"I win"
(I didn't realize it was a contest)

Nicola to Eileen re: Pat:
"He's been dead once before"
(yes, but this time it's official)

***

Well, Corrie colleagues, so ends another week. Exit Pat, I guess. Things just won't be the same. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.