Saturday, June 24, 2017

Number 2 Encore Post:Roy Cropper discusses hard rock bands of the 60s

While I'm away, allow me to subject treat you to the second most viewed post on Blanche's Polish Hip from November 2013.

I had no idea that Roy was such a fan of bands like Deep Purple! I wonder what he would think of other notable rock bands from the 60s? Hmm, I think it might go something like this..

"The Concerto for Group and Orchestra was a landmark musical event (although mother termed it ‘cacophonous gibberish for the slack-jawed set’) performed by Deep Purple and The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. I find the pleasing dissonance between the two opposing musical genres at once dramatic and complementary. (I highly recommend it to listeners of avant garde music or those trying to escape the dysfunctional domestic arguments of one’s parents).

By contrast, I could never quite embrace the blues-oriented musical heritage of Led Zeppelin, despite the obvious melodic appeal of ‘Stairway to Heaven’. Although I was attracted by the juxtaposition of a heavy metallic substance with teutonic hot air ballooning, the band’s name was more of a typographical anomaly than indicative of musical innovation!
Iron Butterfly? Hardly. Sadly, this American conglomeration never developed a substantive musical stature beyond ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’, (which mother referred to as “It's Goddawful Indeeda’).

Cream, on the other hand, offered a unique musical canon including ‘I Feel Free’ (often referred to as ‘I Feel Sick’ by mother). I give unreserved kudos to Jack Bruce, Ginger Baker and Eric Clapton for forging a sound based on blues, rock and psychedelic sensibilities. Now, if you'll excuse me, I would like to prepare a vortex egg."

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Number 3 Encore Post: Abandon Ship

While I'm away, allow me to subject treat you to the third most viewed post on Blanche's Polish Hip from January 2010. New posts will return in July.

First, let me say that I like reading Dickens by the fire with a nice glass of Pinot Noir in the company of a comely amateur thespian (enough of that - ed) as much as the next person. Let me also say that I have always been fond of Ken despite his many flaws and foibles (I feel another novel coming on - ed). And yet, even I think he's going 'overboard' (good idea - ed) these days. More than that he's become an awful amphibian - behaving badly on land and sea.

On dry land, he's a non-entity: uninvolved, absent and completely divorced from the major problems of his son and grandson. Ken's far too busy on one of his 'Himalayan treks' or doing urgent 'library research' (the complete history of shagging? - ed). Just leave it to Deirdre and Blanche to do the heavy lifting and be there for life's little problems - like when Peter's flat is on fire.

On the high seas (high teas surely? - ed), he is no less disingenuous. He has consistently deceived Martha while switching his cellphone off and his libido on. Now that he's found his sea legs (and a sea legover -ed), he's quite content to maintain the duplicity. After all, he deserves a life, doesn't he?

But what about Peter and Simon and Deirdre? Don't they deserve lives too? Clearly it's time for Ken to stop his horizontal riverdance and get involved. Telling Peter to "go to hell" doesn't cut it. Ken's always had a problem when it comes to familial responsibility. He's much better at taking up causes, writing stirring columns for the Weatherfield Gazette and imploring people to do the right thing. At the hospital, Peter tells Ken, "thank God you were there." Too bad he wasn't.

Saturday, June 10, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the back rub from Beyonce edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street

"It was more than twenty years ago
Michael Baldwin taught the girls to sew
They've been going in and out of style
But the knickers seem to last a while"

Yes, the venerable Underworld knicker empire is celebrating 20 years of low-to-satisfactory quality in women's apparel. Management invites the workforce to celebrate and Aidan has a big announcement: "Eva, will you do me the great honour of joining me in... saying hello to a new client."

Yes it's more disappointment for Eva as Aidan continues not to pop the question. And why should he while he's playing away with Maria

Meanwhile things seem to going from bad to worse for Bethany. She escapes from Sarah's house, hides down by the canal and is discovered by Craig. But Nathan swoops in and takes her back to his apartment, setting up another sordid evening with his buddies. Worse still, one of his buddies, PC Slimeball Neil, is a police officer.

Ken's memory is slowly coming back and he realizes that it was Daniel - no wait, Adam - who pushed him down the stairs. Meanwhile Adam stuffs Daniel into the trunk of his car in an effort to force him to confess to the assault of his father (yeah, that's the way we get confessions in Canada).

Sally wrongly accuses Gina of trolling her when it was actually Leah. Steve reneges on his deal to sell the pub to Peter. Brian is reluctant to continue his relationship with Cathy for fear of being disloyal to Roy. Norris confesses his fondness for Mary after the duck attack.

And now for a few lines from the week gone by:

Sarah to Bethany re: Nathan:
"He seems a bit controlling"
(that's like saying a hurricane is a little breezy)

David tells Nick he can't always have what he wants:
"I want a back rub from Beyonce but I'm not going to get it"
(maybe Jay-Z could oblige?)

Ken to Adam:
"It was you, wasn't it?"
(I still think it was Eccles)

Norris to Mary:
"I might have exaggerated the effect of the duck attack"
(turns out there was no fowl play involved)

Well, Bistro Buddies, so ends another week with lots of tension on the Street. Let me conclude with a special message to faithful followers. I will be away for a few weeks with (unfortunately) no means of watching Corrie or posting until I return to the Blanche's Polish Hip secret headquarters on July 3. 

My apologies for going AWOL for such a protracted period.  If I can master the technology involved, I may post some "best of" posts during my absence. Till then thanks for dropping by and I hope you're treated to some excellent Coronation Street episodes over the next few weeks. Cheers!

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the naming ceremony edition

a weekly look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

What's in a naming ceremony?

That which we call a "cock-up", by any other name, would be as screwy. Looks like Nick's passive aggressive idea for an event to mark the proper noun assigned to Leanne's baby goes sideways when Nicko is a no-show, preferring to drown his sorrows in alcohol.

Ah Platts! Any other brilliant schemes? Well, yes, Gail decides to bribe Shona into leaving Weatherfield for the princely sum of 400 pounds. Are you kidding?  That's just about enough to get to the Red Rec. Gail figures that it's safer to have Shona out of the way lest Davey discover that Shona is Clayton's Mom. Doesn't work though. Shona is staying put.

Good news on the Barlow front, I guess. Tracy has the money to buy her flower shop (thanks to Ken) which means that Peter gets the money he needs to buy the pub. On top of that the Battersby Sister Act (Leanne & Toyah) takes on Chloe and they convince her to withdraw her assault charges against Peter. All's well that ends well except for the fact that Toyah didn't tell Peter that she went ahead with the IVF. Opps.

Rosie and Adam are trying to link Daniel to the Ken-staircase-pushing incident so far with no success.

Kate thinks that Johnny is having an affair because of his mysterious behaviour. Jenny keeps steaming ahead with wedding plans. Billy and Todd are having issues because Todd doesn't want to adopt Billy's godchild.

As a way to connect with Bethany, Sarah invites her daughter to a wedding fair. Bethany cancels and when Sarah goes to the tanning salon to find out why, she finds Bethany drunk and passed out.

And now for a few lines from the week that was;

Gail offers Shona 400 pounds to leave town:
"It'll buy you a ticket somewhere"
(Tile Street?)

Nick to David re: Steve
"He's clever, crafty"
(are we talking about the same Steve?")

Tracy to Peter re: Rob:
"I didn't come here to play who killed who"
(who killed whom, actually)

Leanne and Toyah won't leave Chloe's house:
"We're not going anywhere till we find out what's going on in that sick head of yours"
(that could take a while)

Mary is concerned by Tracy's yelp:
"Is it your Moroccan kidney?"
(No and it's not her British pancreas either)

Sarah is miffed because Bethany cancels their date due to a work emergency:
"What kind of emergency do you get at a tanning salon?"
(a power outage?)

Audrey compares the ministry to being a stylist:
"I suppose you're like God's hairdresser"
(a shave would require a heavenly lather)

Fiz explains goat cheese to Kirk:
"All mammals express milk"
(Sounds like Kirkie is lactose intolerant)

Well, faithful followers, so ends another week and the Barlow mystery remains unsolved, Rob's back behind bars and Nick oscillates between hating Steve and hating Peter. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Saturday, May 27, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: The slipperiest woman in Weatherfield edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

A unbearably sad week in Manchester and the cast and crew of Coronation Street was most certainly shocked and distressed. A tribute will be forthcoming. You can read more here.

On the Street, the dramatic Peak District adventure comes to an end as Tracy takes the rap for Ken's assault while Rob is given the unenviable task of driving Amy back to Weatherfield (not during rush hour traffic, I hope). But don't worry, things work out - sort of.

Tracy winds up in court. Rob discovers that Amy did not push Ken down the stairs (as Tracy believed) and Rob manages to find the courtroom (apparently without any difficulty at all), bursts in and reveals the truth to all and sundry. Tracy walks. Case closed.  Oh no, wait, case still open. We still don't know who pushed Ken. However Tracy and Amy are reconciled.

Sinead is still seething over Ken's interference in her pregnancy (which led to a termination). Daniel proposes that she and him run away to Oxford. She agrees.

Sally discovers her sister Gina living in squalor and insists that she and step-daughter Leah move in with her. Scott & Bailey Jr. (aka Sophie and Rosie) are none too thrilled as they believe Gina is the troll (or gremlin) behind the stalking of Sally.

Good news! Phelan and Eileen are back. Michelle is still fragile which makes her want to get revenge on Steve by stealing the Rover's hot pot recipe for the Bistro menu. Talk about a competitive disadvantage!

In Plattland, David discovers that Clayton is in hospital after an altercation in Cell Block Number 9. Of course, he's delighted while secret Mother-of-Clayton Shona, is distraught.

Mensa candidate Maria decides she's OK being Aidan's bit-on-the-side but needs to make Eva hate her to make it all work. Mission accomplished.  Rana buys a vintage food truck (i.e. ramshackle) for Zeedan so he can start his own business called (wait for it) "Speed Dal".

And now for a few lines from the week:

Yasmeen is disappointed at the outcome of Tracy's court hearing:
"The slipperiest woman in Weatherfield lives to fight another day"
(The luck of the Barlows)

Mary complains to Norris about Sean's cheating on a radio contest:
"That low-down, knicker-stitching cheat"
(that's no way to talk about a lodger)

Amy to Tracy upon seeing Rob who was hiding upstairs:
"I thought it was a squirrel"
(from the same rodent family... but not as smart)

Audrey to Luke re: Tracy:
"We all know what a manipulative madam she is"
(she certainly "manipulated" Luke, many times)

Maria to David after an altercation with Aidan's girlfriend:.
"Eva shoved a cream horn in my face"
(I assume that's not a metaphor) 


Well, Corrie Companions, so ends the week. Thanks for stopping by and all the best.

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Peak District edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

What's Amy complaining about?

She's on vacation and enjoying all the comforts of country living in the Peak District: fresh air, beautiful views, a loving Mom with a penchant for criminals, quaint payphones and all the mod cons (well, 'con' in this case). Sounds better than Butlins (from what I recall of my own family hols).

But here's the problem: Rob's escape package vacation is only for one person, one way. His "travel agent" is unable to cater to a party of three. Looks like they'll have to go their separate ways - and fast because the coppers are on their trail.

Elsewhere, Corrie's Scott and Bailey (aka Sophie and Rosie) are trying to get to the bottom of the trolling situation which has traumatized Sally. They try to confront Sally's sister, Gina, but Gina doesn't seem to be aware of what she's doing, or maybe she has issues.

In the 'makes your skin crawl' department, evil Nathan is really doing a nasty psychological number on Bethany, aided and abetted by Mel. This after Nathan sets up Bethany for a 'date' with creepy Neil which leaves Bethany shaken and in tears. Sarah is distraught and helpless, even more so when she finds out that Bethany is engaged to Nathan.

Michelle is moving in with Robert, while Maria is dong her best to get her own back at Aidan by sabotaging a posh client lunch. Eva is meanwhile losing patience with Aidan and his reluctance to get married.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Tracy tries to prepare Amy for a reunion with her ex:
"Do you miss Rob?"
(Next question)

Amy to Tracy:
"I preferred Robert or Luke"
(or anyone else...)

Michelle to Robert:
"I love you full stop"
(Who's 'full stop'.I thought she loved Robert)

Steve (on behalf of him and Adam) to the police officer:
"We're not thick you know"
(glad you cleared that up)

Nathan to Bethany:
"Will you marry me?"
(I hope not)

One of Aidan's lunch guests to Maria:
"What is that around your ankle?"
(a gift from Her Majesty's Prison Service)

Well, committed Corriephiles, so ends another week. I hope someone can save Bethany from the clutches of Nathan and I hope Rob finds true happiness in a shipping container or wherever he ends up. Have a great long weekend, thanks for stopping by and all the best!

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Coronation Street Catch Up: Tracy Barlow's special Mother's Day edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Just in time for Mother's Day, Tracy has a plan to abdicate her Momly duties by doing a runner with Rob the prison escapee and leaving Amy behind.

Why, you ask? Well it's complicated. First Tracy thinks Amy might be responsible for Ken's downstairs tumble. Second, Tracy realizes that she loves that big lug Rob, despite his foibles (like murder).  They've got a car and they're going on the run. Think of it as Thelma and Louise with a heterosexual twist.

Elsewhere the creepathon continues at the tanning salon as Nathan pressures Bethany into having a drink with Neil the slimeball. Sarah makes an attempt to bring Bethany back home but Gary spoils the effort by punching Nathan.

Sally is till suffering panic attacks and Rosie discovers that the troll is none other than Sally's sister.

Billy has a surprise for Todd and his name is Drew. Drew is Billy's ex and he has a daughter who is Billy's goddaughter. Todd is not amused and he thinks there's more to Drew than meets the eye.

Adam is still in police custody and they won't even give him access to hair products. Steve gets served with divorce papers. Toyah is peeved by Peter's snogging adventures with Chloe and his reluctance to continue IVF until things calm down. There was a quiz night at the pub and Brian let Cathy win. Romance is is the air.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Tracy to Rob:
"Wrecking people's lives is harder than you think"
(fortunately she practices a lot)

Tracy to Rob:
"I've had a taste of life without you and it's only half a life"
(like radioactive waste)

Tracy to Rob re: Amy:
"The last thing I want is her growing up like me"
(I think we can all agree on that)

Amy to Tracy:
"I hate Granddad" 
(oh oh, maybe she is growing up like Tracy)

Amy to Tracy re: a mini break:
"Coolio Iglesias"
(that's what all the kids are saying)

Rob to Tracy:
"I'm sorry I ruined everything"
(apology accepted)


Well denizens of downtown Weatherfield, so ends another week. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week.