Saturday, May 26, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Aidan Connor memorial edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

In all the years I've been watching Coronation Street, I've never seen a more profoundly sad and disturbing story (perhaps with the exception of Hayley Cropper) as the suicide of Aidan.

It happens just after the going away celebration for Johnny and Jenny and the show neatly explodes all those clichés that you often hear about, or read about, following a suicide (He seemed fine. Why didn't he talk to someone? etc. etc.)

The awful news affects everyone in one way of another. Most devastated, of course, is Johnny who is inconsolable. Kate is angry. Carla soldiers on. Eva is in bits and so it goes.

The death of Aidan combined with the ever-expanding lies about Toyah's baby (who is really the daughter of Eva and Aidan) only makes matters worse.  Michelle and Robert decide to postpone their wedding plans. Sophie is upset because she received an innocuous text from Aidan on the night he died and she didn't reply.  Then there's Aidan's last will, still to be revealed.

Meanwhile David Platt finally confides in Shona the truth about his rape by Josh. That's a step forward but unfortunately he also misses his court date (on assault charges) and is remanded in custody. Not the best situation for him and he is super edgy.

Despite the reconciliation between Shona and David, Emma insists on hanging around and even convinces Gail to let her stay on at the Platt house.

Cub reporter Daniel Osborne decides to invite Vinny's Mom (Flora) to stay with him while he writes an exposé about her deplorable care home conditions. Only one snag. Adam in not chuffed about the third roommate and their bizarro Three's Company living arrangement.

On the bright side (I guess), Webster's Garage now has one of those air inflated dancing men as a promotional gimmick.

And now for a few lines from last week:

Emma to Gail re: David
"I just can't stop loving him"
(try harder)

Kate to Jenny after learning of Aidan's suicide:
"Right now, I hate him"
(what can you say?)

That's it for a very shocking and sad week. Hope we have some good news in the week ahead but then again, I wouldn't count on it. Still, thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, May 20, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the fake marine biologist edition

Your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

What a week! Weren't you excited by all the wedding buzz?

I'm talking about Peter and Toyah of course (who else?) Toyah returns from her mysterious escape to the country with a brand new baby, Susie. It's a miracle.... of deception because it's Eva's sprog who was given up tearfully by Eva to Toyah as part of their deal.

No-one's the wiser. Certainly not beaming Dad Peter. Flushed with joy, he proposes to Toyah. She says "yes". Cue the horse drawn carriage, St. George's Chapel and the young virtuoso cellist. Oh, but then there's Simon who knows Toyah is hiding something. He shares his suspicions with Leanne. Something's up but they can't figure out what.. yet.

Never mind. Let the champers flow at the Rovers. Speaking of cheap sparkling wine, Johnny and Jenny are having their going away party. They're off to Spain.

Craig passes his police exam despite his OCD condition. Jenny mourns the anniversary of her dead baby.

Jude finally confesses the truth about not being a marine biologist. He gets fired from his job at the aquarium gift shop and gets a job working at the Corner Shop.

Daniel is trying to help Vinny's Mom who is living in a grotty care home. On the Platt front, David faces the prospect of prison time for his assault on Gary Windass

Kirk has a promising business as a dog walker going and one of his clients is quite fit. Aidan seems to be in a very sombre mood despite all his recent good fortune and winds up on Eva's doorstep in the country.  

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Emma to David:
"If you get sent down, I'll visit you all the time"
(once a year should suffice)

Jude to Angie:
"I'm not, nor have I ever been, a marine biologist"
(what a scale of deception!)

Angie to Jude:
"I just kissed Adam Barlow"
(... and I liked it)

Peter to the Rovers crowd:
"I'm a Dad again"
(and this time he's going to get it right)

Peter describes the love of his life, Toyah:
"This beautiful, brainy, crazy woman"
(well, crazy, yes)


Well, patient punters, so ends another week. Hope you're having a great long weekend. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Speed Dal edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Yes, it's the grand opening of Zeedan's restaurant: Speed Dal.

Frankly, I would have opted for "Curry in a Hurry" or "Raita Later" or maybe even "Argy Bhaji" or... (that's quite enough - ed).

Anyway, the point is that Zee has a new business partner (Imran who's Rana's brother) and the restaurant is off to a great start.

The celebrations are interrupted briefly when Rana storms in and accuses Zee of ratting out Rana's Mum (and would-be kidnapper) to the police. But it turns out that was Kate. Merely a little tiff on the road to coupledom for Kate and Rana, although Zee still harbours delusions that he and Rana might get back together. Not likely.

A neighbourly war over a bird table pits Yasmeen against Sally. Audrey becomes collateral damage and winds up back in the hospital (with an ankle injury) but is tickled to find Jeff (the hospital DJ) there. Meanwhile Jeff seems to be more interested in Yasmeen and so it looks like we have something of a love triangle brewing. BTW Jeff is Tim Metcalfe's Dad. Yikes!

Simon is getting more delinquent by the second and seems to be hip to Toyah's strange behaviour and using it to his advantage. His thuggish little pal seems to be leading Si down the wrong path.

Meanwhile, in her own peculiar take on 'Escape to the Country', Eva sits in her rural cottage, goes into labour and gets herself stuck in the bathroom.  No time to call the midwife, but Toyah arrives to assist.

A rehabbed Billy returns to the Street but Summer is underwhelmed. Seems Billy isn't the reliable, drug-free parent she was looking for. Jude maintains his pretense of being a marine biologist but the jig could soon be up as his wife shows up at the aquarium.

David ratchets up the cuckoo factor by taking up with salon intern Emma and inviting her to move in. The rest of the Platts are gobsmacked.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Jeff entertains Audrey with a joke
"A polar bear walks into a bar... "
(you had me at "polar")

Jeff to Yasmeen:
"Do you know my son Tim Metcalfe?"
(You mean that window cleaning mogul, taxi titan & spouse of the mayor? Never heard of him)

Peter metes out punishment to Simon:
"No XBox, no phone, no internet"
(no way!)

Shona tells Summer that parents aren't perfect:
"My son's inside for murder; I've clearly made mistakes"
(you think?)

Summer does some Underworld marketing research on Eileen:
"When was the last time you wore a sports bra?"
(when running away from Phelan, probably)

Well, Weatherfield warriors, so ends another week. As always I welcome your good company and refined taste in subject matter. Have a great week and thanks so much for stopping by! Cheers!

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Free Anna Windass Now edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


That's right. Journalist, crusader and one-time boy toy Daniel Osborne is determined to Free Anna Windass Now (FAWN).

Personally, I prefer Free Anna Windass Legal Team Youth (FAWLTY). Anyway, Daniel is taking action by recording bad videos and sending them to the media. Isn't he a chip off the old block (Ken)?

Elsewhere, Eileen is finally emerging from her cocoon of denial and shock and trying to make things right. She supports FAWN, makes a video, and even lets Seb's Mum camp out on her living room sofa. By the way, seems Seb's Mum is something of an auto mechanic.

At Audrey's there's a new young hairdresser named Emma who seems to be getting on David's nerves. That's not hard to do these days since David is completely out of sorts and on edge. Gary tries to talk him round and so does Maria. David's only response is to declare his love (for Maria, not Gary).

The fallout from Kate and Rana's relationship continues after Rana's parents' failed attempt to get Rana on a one-way trip to Pakistan.

Alya is at odds with Kate and they no longer wish to share an apartment. Worse, seems that Summer is a better Underworld manager than Alya as she (Summer) catches an error in Alya's calculations while doing a sort of one-day internship to get work experience.

More fallout over at the Bistro as Michelle confronts Robert over his steroid use. Somehow Robert, who never seems to run out of screw-ups, manages to smooth things over. Not so for Carla who is in Michelle's doghouse for bunking down with Michelle's son.

On the scary side, ol' Pat Phelan seems to be checking out of his B&B in order to take care of some unfinished business. Oh oh.

Now let's have some lines from the week that was:

Gary to David:
"You've never been what you call 'well balanced'"
(thank you Dr. Freud)

Jenny to Johnny:
"You're allowed to say the word 'lesbian' in public"
(good to know)

Michelle to Robert:
"Are you using steroids, yes or no?
(tough question. Can he phone a friend?}

Rana's brother to his parents after the failed kidnap attempt:
"You are no longer my parents"
(so don't expect a mother's day or father's day card)

Gail describes Richard Hillman to Seb and Phelan:
"He killed people as well"
(thanks for sharing)

Eileen to Gail:
"My husband was more twisted and sick than your husband"
(um, it's not a contest)

Well, Corrie compadres, so ends another week. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Sunday, April 29, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: the ridiculously hot edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada'a Coronation Street...

Isn't Roy Cropper the best plus one?

The astute anorak-wearing savant accompanies Carla to a dinner party chez Robert and Michelle, solely to prevent Carla from hooking up with her new age-inappropriate toy boy, Dr. Ali.

Roy elevates the dinner party repartee with his timely explanations of Fanny Craddock (historic TV chef) and the expression "Sweet Fanny Adams".

Alas his efforts go for nought when Carla sneaks outside for a quick "how's your father" with lusty Doctor A and is then caught in the act by Ali's Mum, Michelle.

Speaking of physical exertion, seems that Roberto is on steroids which gives a boost to his bodybuilding and um... horizontal hi jinks, but Carla is on to him and threatens to tell Michelle.

Over at the Rovers, the baby charade continues. Eva tries to come clean and tell the truth to Aidan but is rebuffed.  So Eva goes back to Plan A which is to run off and have the baby and then hand over the infant to Toyah. Good plan except obnoxious teen yob Simon overhears the plan and begins blackmailing Toyah in order to keep her secret.

Audrey is out of the hospital and staying with Gail and David. Gary proposes to Sarah. Zeedan thinks maybe he can win back Rana but then Rana and Kate have an amorous Duvet Duet and are discovered by Rana's parents.

Eileen is back home but lying low and lying on the couch.

And now for some lines from the week that was:

Robert to Carla after being discovered with steroids:
"It's given me my mojo back"
(nothing worse than a missing mojo)

Ali to Carla:
"You are ridiculously hot"
(and that's his medical opinion)

Aidan does not react well to Eva's ultrasound baby photo:
"Did you get it off the internet?"

Gail to David after his latest violent outburst on Gary:
"Whatever this is David, this has to stop"
(only if you agree, of course. Thanks awfully for considering the request)

Well, fellow followers, so ends another week. No news on Pat Phelan although we know he's lurking in a grotty B&B somewhere near the seaside. I guess we better remain on high alert just in case he decides to come back to Weatherfield. Thanks for stopping by and spending some time here at the Hip. Have a great week!

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Coronation Street Canada's Top 5 Platt-itudes of Gail Rodwell

Gail Rodwell (née Potter, previously Tilsley, Platt, Hillman and McIntyre) hasn’t changed much over the years. She still thinks psycho-son David is just misunderstood, she still thinks Nicky walks on water and she still thinks her family is wonderful. The latest salvo? Ol’ Davey Boy battered Gary Windass to within an inch of his life during a boxing match. But don’t worry, it’ll all blow over.

Here is the Gospel according to Gail, as summarized by her top five Platt-itudes.

1. We have to talk: Poor Gail thinks that a nice little chat and a cup of tea at that tiny kitchen table will solve most of her family’s problems. I don’t think so. Her daughter was married to a criminal who wound up dead in a manhole in her Granny flat. Nicky has brain trauma. Audrey got assaulted by thug-in-training Simon. Bethany is an ex-lap dancer who was exploited by a vermin tanning mogul. Talk? Run, would be a better idea.

2. David’s just angry: Um, I don’t think so. He tried to push you down the stairs, remember? He gave your granddaughter Ecstasy. He’s assaulted numerous people including Ken, Jason and Gary. Rugby players get angry. David’s not angry he’s a ball of nutbar rage.

3. Our family has to stick together: Um. I don’t really see why, unless you’re trying to break some kind of Guinness World record for the number of people living in one tiny house.

4. My Darling Nicky: Ah yes, the missing son (link?) whom Gail really loves (more than David). Except Darling Nicky Tilsley can be a bit of a plank too when he feels like it. Sleeping with David’s wife, comes to mind.

5. Unlucky in love: Let’s see. Five husbands including a toy boy nurse, a chiropodist, contractor, a serial killer and a burglar (the chiropodist was pretty bad). “Unlucky” is missing the lottery prize by one number. Gail’s track record is more like Dante’s Inferno.

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Coronation Street Catch Up: A Fish called Chesney edition

your update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

First rule of Coronation Street fight club: you don't talk about fight club.

Second rule: don't mention that the whole fight fiesta in memory of Luke is a really stupid idea.

No good could ever come of rapist Josh's pugilist parade. Sure enough, after Shona spars with Maria, and Robert tussles with Zeedan, Crazy David decides to take on Gary and beats him senseless, while odious referee, Josh, watches and does nothing. Dr. Ali calls for an ambulance. Looks like Gary is headed back, yet again, to the hospital.

The only one with any sense is Ty who backs out of his bout to accompany Fiz to a therapist appointment for Ruby.

For Aidan's birthday, Carla signs over the factory to Aidan. Looks like Underworld is set to re-open.

Of course, the real main event of the week was the fact that Pat Phelan is not in fact gone to a watery grave, but to a dreary B&B. And it looks like the awful amphibian assassin is recovering and using the house sewing kit to do some Etsy-style home stitching on his injured leg.

Meanwhile, back in Weatherfield, the police continue their inquiries, questioning Eileen and trying to search Luke's old apartment only to find, along the way, that current tenant Craig has OCD and needs to see a doctor (which he does).

Dev insists that Chesney dress like a fish for the grand opening of his chippie. Ches isn't keen but Dev lays a gill trip on him (what's the pay scale for that job?)

Speaking of fishy, seems that Jude is not working as a marine biologist but rather in the souvenir shop at the aquarium, much to the surprise of Mary and Angie.

 And a few lines from the week that was:

Kev defends Andy's misdeeds, including setting fire to the garage:
"He did it cause he was desperate"
(RIP Andy)

Alya addresses the crowd before the charity boxing match:
"Luke Britton was a lover not a fighter"
(so why have a fight in his memory?)

Tracy insists that Eileen was an accomplice to Phelan:
"Will someone wake up and smell the dead bodies?"
(I think that's just regular eau de ginnel)

Well, Corrie comrades, so ends another week.  That Josh is certainly quite the psycho creep and, wait for it, Alya actually seems to be falling for him! Good grief. And what of Phelan in his palatial B&B? Surely he will be out and about before too long.  Yikes. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week.