Coronation Street Catch Up: the local poisoner edition

 your irreverent update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Have you ever noticed that there's chair directly under the dartboard in the Rovers?

 

Maybe that's Kirk's seat, but I think most punters would prefer to see Ross sitting there while the worst darts player in Weatherfield takes a few throws.

 

Yes, Ross is rapidly becoming the Street's premier villain as he worms his way into Tyrone's life as Ty's long lost doting Dad. Along the way, he manages to con Tracy into being his main squeeze and gets a job as a prison guard at the local hoosegow (a good opportunity to meet some of Weatherfield's residents). 

 

Cassie (bless her twisted heart) knows that Ross is a bad'un and tries to make him a Nyquil smoothie (using codeine) designed to make Ross fall asleep at work and lose his job. Bad idea. Ross twigs to Cassie's ruse and swaps the somnolent smoothie so that Tracy winds up unconscious and taken to hospital. 

 

Result? 

 

Cassie is blamed for the incident and becomes persona non grata. After getting the kiss off from Ty and Steve, Cassie heads out of town but not before Ross gives her a ride and she disappears.

 

We don't know what happened to Cassie but Fiz is the one person who is wise to Ross' evil ways and is watching him.

 

While Tracy is released from hospital (she's fine BTW, thanks for asking), Dylan checks in to Weatherfield General. He has a concussion, suffered when Lauren starts pushing him around angrily on behalf of Betsy. Dylan falls backwards and hits his head on the concrete pavement. Meanwhile Lauren has left Betsy on her own, incurring the wrath of Carla who asked Lauren to stay with Betsy.

 

Elsewhere Debbie has returned from Spain (apparently it didn't go as well as planned according to Ronnie) and gets an inkling of what might await her as she watches Sienna deal with her Mum who has dementia. 

 

It's time to unveil the latest addition to the Webster family: a pizza oven. Molto Bene!

 

When Sally throws a backyard party to celebrate the new appliance, Debbie has a verbal outburst at Tim whom she doesn't recognize. Later on, Debbie investigates assisted suicide on the Internet but Bernie catches on to her plan and insists that Debbie tell Ronnie. Ronnie manages to talk Debbie out of the idea (thank goodness, we already had to endure the painful demise of Paul suffering from ALS). 

 

Speaking of Sienna, it looks like the budding romance between her and Asha is off. First, Nina falsely accused Sienna of stealing her money, then Asha tried to help Sienna deal with the stress of looking after Sienna's Mum. Unfortunately her attempts to help backfired and Sienna broke off their relationship.

Sally decides that it's time to give Shanice an informational talk about the choking dangers that led to Betsy's stroke. This chat happens before Shanice and Joanie head to Spain to see their aunt (they have an aunt in Spain? Where has she been all this time?)

 

Over at Kit and Sarah's flat, Kit is busy trying to find evidence to implicate Gary in the murder of Theo. He has a techie pal who manages to provide Kit with data from Gary's phone that leads Kit to discover where Gary may have hidden the murder weapon. With the help of an Internet search (why don't I have Voggle on my computer?), Kit and Bethany zero in on the location.

 

Oh, and Abi agrees to take a 5K settlement from Idris after Alya convinces her that going to court is not in Abi's interest. Idris is delighted. 

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Debbie to Sally after Debs returns from Spain:

"I just want to hear upbeat news"

(Kirk's dog, Peanut, is doing well) 

Tracy re: Cassie:

"She looked furtive. She's got a furtive face"

(key word: furtive) 

Tracy refers to Cassie as... 

"The local poisoner"

(they do say 'shop local')

Tracy to Steve after Steve asks Tracy to forgive Cassie:

"It's quite difficult when your girlfriend tried to kill me"

(yes, that would be a bit of an impediment) 

Tracy to Steve re: Cassie:

"She's stuck with a useless lump like you"

(yes, but as useless lumps go, he's one of the best)

Steve confronts Cassie after the smoothie incident:

"Are you not going to be happy till you've killed the lot of us?"

(let's wait and see) 

Debbie pledges to go on the wagon:

"I'm going teetotal"

(what could possibly go wrong?)

 

***

Well fellow Voggle Voyeurs, it looks like Cassie has disappeared (and not in a good way). BTW, I don't think I've ever heard the word 'smoothie' so many times on a TV show.  Once again, Ryan shows that he's truly one of the good guys. I hope the writers don't do anything stupid to tarnish his character (like drugs or murder or gambling or fraud). It's refreshing to have someone on the show consistently display honesty, and integrity.  Anyway, enough rambling. Thanks for the pleasure of your company and have a wonderful week!

Coronation Street Catch Up: the slept with two siblings edition

 your irreverent update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

How desperate is Tracy?

 

Before? She was living the good life with a fit, former professional football star, and basking in the Spanish sunshine. 

 

Now? The best she can do is a weather beaten, beer-bellied prison guard with dubious wardrobe choices and an even more dubious past.

 

The truth about Ross finally comes out during a birthday celebration in his honour at Fiz and Tyrone's. Just after a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday', Cassie reveals that Ross paid her for sex when she was 15 years old.

 

That puts a damper on the birthday celly and casts Ross in a new light. However, Ross uses his slimy smarts to wheedle his way back into Ty's good books and, despite his past history, is invited to stick around. Cassie reluctantly agrees and is later roughed up by Ross in the ginnel as he shows his true thuggish colours.

Speaking of true colours, Jodie is still hanging around like a bad smell. 

 

Lily tells David and Shona that Jodie has a gun (among other stolen items). When David and Shona confront Jodie, she claims the gun is a toy. But that's just a clever ploy to fool Shona and David. The real gun is stashed in the kitchen and Jodie continues to hang around... which is unnerving for young Lily who is more than a little weirded out by Jodie's behaviour. 

 

Despite all this, Jodie is still allowed to stay at the Platt house.  Why? Apparently, because she has nowhere else to go (are there no workhouses?)

 

Elsewhere young Sam has left hospital and is back at home as Nick (who could mither for England) fusses about with that perpetual grim look on his face. He only gets worse when he sees Sam and Idris getting along like a house on fire

 

As for Idris, he's been a busy boy. He tells Alya that she's his niece, not his cousin - thanks to some racy family history. Alya is shocked and momentarily distracted from all the legal work she does at Speed Dal (Personally, I always choose lawyers who work at cafes or restaurants - regular law offices are so unhip).

 

Idris tells Leanne that he wants to buy out Alya's stake in Speed Dal. Then he tells Leanne that he can't afford to buy out Alya because of Adam's lawsuit against him (Adam is taking Abi's case against Idris because of lack of action on the abysmal conditions at her flat owned by Idris).

Perhaps even worse, Idris hires Brody to do a thuggish act to intimidate Adam.

 

Over at HM Norcross, Sarah is in jail and gets a visit from Maria. Maria has discovered that Gary helped Sarah cover up the murder of Theo and confronts Sarah. Afterwards, Maria seems to be reassured because she subsequently lets Gary grovel, make nice and prepare a French press coffee the next morning.

Merci Gary! 

 

Oh, and Asha has a date with Sienna (her former mentor), but Sienna leaves in a hurry. 

 

And now for some lines from the week that was: 

 

David to Maria:

"If anyone needs a duvet day, it's me"

(David the dog could use one too) 

Sarah to Bethany while in jail:

"I'm just going to have to face the fact that I won't be attending any family get-togethers for a very long time"

(So there's an upside)

Lily to David re:Jodie:

"She's got a gun and it's in our house"

(maybe call the police?)

 

David to Jodie who's holding a gun:

"You are a nutcase"

(no arguments here) 

Leanne after learning that (former beau) Cal is the brother of Idris:

"So I've slept with two siblings?"

(just two?) 

 

Cassie to Ross during the birthday party:

"I was a 15 year-old girl and he paid me for sex" 

(that'll put a damper on the birthday celebration)

 

***

Well fellow Street Savants, so ends another week. How long will Jodie hang around? Not long, one hopes. How long will Ross hang around? Not long, one hopes. Thanks for stopping by and spending some time at the Hip and have a great week. 

Coronation Street Catch Up: The Tommy Orpington Award edition

 your irreverent update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

So it looks like Sarah has now taken up residence in Summer's old jail cell as the latest person to be charged with the murder of Theo. 

 

Kit is helpless to do anything for Sarah as he has been removed from the case and almost sabotaged his career by trying to retrieve key evidence (Sarah's clothing from the night of the murder.. which was found to have traces of Theo's blood).

 

So far, Sarah hasn't mentioned the fact that Gary helped her cover up the murder, so Gary (despite Kit's suspicions) is still in the clear - for now. Over at the flat, Maria finally squeezes the truth out of Gary about his efforts to help Sarah cover up the crime. 

 

Maria threatens to retract her statement which provided Gary with an alibi and she is royally cheesed off by: a) Gary's deception, and, b) the fact that Gary helped out his old flame. Maria finally decides to protect him and say nothing (for the sake of her family), but Gary's not going to get off scot-free... from now on he'll be sleeping on the couch (that'll teach him).

 

And anyway, why would Maria want to spoil the harmonious family dynamic just when young Jake has won the Golden Boot or FIFA Junior School Peace Prize, or some kind of school football award (oh yes, I remember now, it's the Tommy Orpington/Tracy Barlow Award) 

 

Over at Weatherfield General Hospital, Betsy is getting frequent visits from Lauren who has launched a personal crusade to convince Betsy to make Dylan pay for his actions - even if it means jail time. However, Betsy does not want Dylan to be prosecuted. 

 

Lauren seems to bring her same level of empathy and kindness to Betsy's bedside as she does at the Rovers bar (i.e. none). I'm no psychiatrist but it seems that Lauren is channeling her personal anger and vengeance against Joel (an abusive psycho) towards Dylan... and every single Rovers customer. BTW, who's taking care of little Frankie while Lauren shuttles between the hospital and the bar all day?

 

But that's enough psycho-babble. It seems Dylan now accepts responsibility for his actions and is willing to face the consequences.

 

Speaking of the Rovers, it seems Ollie has lost a chance to work at a Michelin star restaurant in Brighton (Wimpy's?) Not to worry though, he's just accepted a job as master chef at Speed Dal. Wait till Gordon Ramsay finds out. 

 

Over at Todd's place, there's good news and bad news.

 

The good news is that Todd has given all the money from Theo's life insurance to Theo's two ingrate kids. The bad news (for Christina) is that she's disappointed to learn that Todd isn't giving a handsome sum to her and George. Such a shame! Especially since Christina is continuing her freewheeling spending ways (despite all her crocodile tears and apologies).

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Sally almost horrifies Maria and David with her bedroom tales of Tim:

"He came into the bedroom once and he was only wearing..."

(oh the humanity!) 

Maria proves Gary was at the wedding despite his denials:

"Still saying you were at the yard?"  

(yes, but he meant the 'wedding' yard)

Gary prefaces his confession to Maria:

"You're not going to like it"

(let's wait and see. Maybe she will like the fact that you helped an old flame cover up a murder) 

Kit to Gary:

"One day your luck's going to run out"

(don't hold your breath. He already killed a man and got away with it) 

 

Ben tries to avoid a discussion with Eva:

"You would not believe what's happening in America"

(we've got a pretty good idea) 

Maria to Gary:

"It's her you want, not me"

(and by 'her' she means Sarah (not Mary))

Gary pleads for Maria's support:

"I'm an idiot"

(no argument there) 

 

***

Well, fellow Gary Grousers, so ends another week. Will Sarah remain in jail? Is there anything Kit can do (legal or otherwise) to help her? Does Sarah even have a lawyer yet? If not, is Adam available? I guess all will be revealed in the coming week(s). Thanks so much for the pleasure of your company and do have a great week.  

Coronation Street Catch Up: the kumquat edition

 your irreverent update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

So Betsy's all set to excel at college in London, graduate, and start a successful career in the fashion industry. Except... that can't happen because this is Coronation Street and bad things almost always happen to young people.

 

For Betsy, it means a stroke (two actually) that send her to the Coronation Street Wing of Weatherfield Hospital (down the hall from Alfie's room). Lisa is in shock. After all, Betsy is only 18 years old.

 

Could there be any contributing factors to her condition? Yes, apparently there was a choking episode during sex with Dylan. So another occasion to focus on a social issue. 

 

Betsy is young and could well make a full recovery but it will be a long road ahead. Meanwhile Lisa is furious with Dylan for his reckless actions that put Betsy's life in danger. Against Betsy's wishes, Lisa reports Dylan to the police.

 

Elsewhere it's a tense situation Chez Kit and Sarah. Kit proposes to Sarah. Sarah confesses to killing Theo. So no plans for a honeymoon as Kit tries to figure out what to do. He decides not to turn Sarah in but rather opts to protect Sarah and (so he says) Gary. Step one, get their phones wiped to eliminate incriminating messages (but please don't erase Sarah's Spotify playlist).

 

More tense vibes over at Steve's where Ross (does he colour his hair?) is busy ingratiating himself with Tyrone through their um.. alleged shared love of golf (Ty's score was infinity over par). 

 

Steve forgives Cassie for her past um..indiscretions. Ty is angry with Cassie when he learns that she propositioned Ross (while bladdered) at the Chariot Square Hotel (slogan: 'Our happy hour is never happy'). Ross warns Cassie that if she doesn't back off and let the father-son relationship blossom, he'll reveal the gory details of Ty's conception.

 

Oh, and on the barf scale (of 1 to 10), the legover exploits of Tracy and Ross are definitely an 11. Yuk!  

 

I feel sorry for Amy who has just graduated (yay!) and sees her graduation sullied by the slimeball antics of her Mum with the aforementioned Ross. 

 

Bravo Mary! 

 

While Christina and George do a lot of performative hand-wringing over Christina's credit card spending sickness, Mary demands reparations for purchases made on the fraudulent credit card that Christina got in Mary's name. It seems only fair that Christina should make some sort of plan to pay back her victims. Mary takes matters into her own hands with a garage sale (sans garage) of household items and other illicit purchases. 

 

Bad news (as usual) over at the Ches and Gemma house. Rich Grandma Linda is no longer rich and cannot afford to pay Joseph's private school fees. Dev comes to the rescue with an offer of a loan to Ches and Gemma. That's nice but when (if ever) would Ches and Gemma be able to pay him back?

 

And now for some lines from the week that was:

 

Kit proposes to Sarah: 

"I want to spend the rest of my life with you"

(Could be mostly conjugal visits though)

 

Kit to Sarah:

"Anyone can take a life" 

(Just ask Gary)

Mary refuses to let Christina eat her breakfast cereal:

"These are my Choccy Crocs"

(not part of Canada's Food guide)

Cassie to Tracy:

"No-one wants to hear about your kumquat"

(especially on a family show)

 

Lisa speaks to the desk sergeant at the police station:

"I'd like to report a crime please" 

(and you are...?)

 

 ***

Well, fellow Choccy Croc colleagues, so ends another week.  More health and social ills take centre stage on Corrie with Betsy's stroke and the spectre of young people incorporating dangerous choking into their sexual habits. Not a particularly enjoyable week but kudos to Ryan for his support for Betsy. Once again, he proves that he's one of the good guys (along with Roy). Thanks for your company and have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the 'resting miserable' edition

your irreverent update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

It's certainly very disturbing that Alfie got sick due to the awful conditions in Abi's flat (even though you could probably have spotted the mold from the International Space Station).

 

Nevertheless, Alfie has a serious health concern and is rushed to hospital with breathing problems. Meanwhile Abi is furious with the flat's new owner, Idris. Idris claims that he only discovered the hazardous condition of the flat after he bought the property from a scumbag landlord. Idris' solution is to enlist Brody to help him rough up the previous owner. 

 

Sally is not keen on Brody's job as an enforcer for Idris.

 

Elsewhere, the verdict is in and Megan has been found guilty.  

 

Will is relieved (as is his family) but Megan is none too pleased and lashes out at everyone before being removed from the courtroom. Sam is also relieved to learn that Megan has been found guilty and is even inclined to forgive Nick for lying to him about the court proceedings.

 

Meanwhile Steve and Cassie are having relationship issues as Cassie proposes to Steve and Steve declines to enter into holy matrimony for a record 8th time (someone call the Guinness Book of Records). Cassie is not only knocked back, but also taunted by Tracy who receives a slap from Cassie in the Rovers (think of it as added value for the price of a hotpot).

 

George certainly has his hands full these days. 

 

First he tries to reconcile with Summer for basically putting her in the frame as Theo's killer with a very circumstantial statement to police. Summer accepts his apology. George then has to face the fact that Christina has a spending problem (not an 'I-bought-two-packets-of-Hob-Nobs-instead-of-one' type of problem, but rather a multiple credit card bills type of problem). 

 

Glenda discovers the evidence and George finally confronts Christina and accompanies her to a credit card anonymous meeting (VISA cardholders on Mondays, Mastercard cardholders on Tuesdays and Thursdays). It looks like George is convinced that Christina has a serious problem and offers his support.

 

Ruby and Hope are up to their usual meddling and decide that it would be a great idea to track down Tyrone's biological father and plan a surprise reunion (thanks ancestry.com!). One small snag is that Ty's Dad only got together with Cassie for a one-night legover when she was an addict and having sex to support her habit. So... not the greatest of family reunion stories.  

 

Anyhoo, Ty isn't really interested in reuniting with dear old Dad. However Dad is keen on reconnecting with Tyrone and threatens to tell Ty the real story of his liaison with Cassie... unless Cassie facilitates a happy father and son relationship.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Cassie proposes to Steve:  

"I could be the Kate to your William"

(more like the Meghan to your Harry)

Tracy to Cassie after overhearing her proposal to Steve on the Streetcars radio:

"You should try the proposal from 'Pretty Woman' because she was a bit of a slapper in all"

(ouch!) 

Tracy to Steve:

"Steve, Steve, Steve, the most married man in Weatherfield"

(I'm surprised Gianni Infantino hasn't given him a FIFA prize)

 

Tracy to Ken: 

"Is everything always my fault?"

(actually, yes) 

Tracy to Steve:

"You get wed like other men buy pants"

(they never fit right) 

Christina explains her frequent bathroom trips to Glenda and George:

"My undercarriage is like Niagara Falls"

(American side or Canadian side?) 

George apologizes to Summer:

"I will spend the rest of my life making it up to you"

(How? With free funerals?)

Abi to Idris:

"You're my scumbag landlord!"

(please, no formalities. Just call me 'Scum')

Maggie describes Lauren's usual expression:

"Resting miserable"

(...and that's when she's in a good mood) 

***

Well, fellow Rovers regulars, so ends another week. Here's hoping that poor Alfie makes a full recovery. It looks like Abi will be moving back in with Kevin. Will it remain strictly platonic or will they become a couple again? I guess we'll find out. Thanks as always for stopping by and do have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the prisoner to the collagen edition

 Your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Well, it looks like Will gets a do-over in court.

His first appearance at the trial of Megan did not go the way his family expected. Rather than condemn the evil groomer, Will told the jury exactly what Megan pressured him to say and insisted that Megan did nothing wrong.

But after a quick chat with Tim, the sage of Streetcars, Will realizes that he has made a mistake and now wants to tell the truth.

The judge allows Will to take the stand for a second time and this time Will puts Megan squarely in the frame, much to the chagrin of Megan and her lawyer (Adam).

Now the question is what will the jury's verdict be?

Elsewhere, Sarah is starting to lose it.

She has finally figured out that it was the resident nutbar Jodie who conked her on the head. However, Jodie has also figured out that Sarah was involved in Theo's murder. So it's a stalemate. David knows that something's up with Sarah and tips off Kit who tries unsuccessfully to talk to her.

Speaking of stalemates, poor Sam is still in hospital and anxious to get updates on Megan's trial. Since the trial is not going well, Nick decides to lie about it. 

Bad idea.

Of course Sam learns the truth and resents Nick and everyone else. And didn't Leanne promise to visit? Yes, but that was before her marathon leg over festival with smarmy Idris.

Now Sam's recovery has hit a setback and he's not happy about it.

Over at the Bistro, Summer is splashing the cash and treating her friends to drinks, meals and gifts. But she soon figures out that it's a mugs game.

And now for a very few lines from the week that was:

Christina to Todd re: her facial mask:

"I'm a prisoner to the collagen"

(Please release her)

Megan to Will:

"I can't go to prison"

(I don't see why not)

Summer to her friends:

"From now on I'm going to be a pigeon"

(I guess she'll wing it)

***

Well faithful followers, so ends another week. Sorry for the delay in posting. I've encountered some technical delays this week. Thanks for your patience. Have a great week!

Coronation Street Catch Up: the town bike edition

your irreverent update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

The only way Kit's dinner party could have been worse is if Jamie Oliver had barged in and insisted on making a fantastic green salad with cyclospora lettuce.

 

As it was, Maria did enough damage on her own as she accused Sarah and Gary of having it off and then attacked Gary for lying about it. The fact that Summer was half corked didn't help. Plus, Sarah was on edge and picking up broken glass with her bare hands (ever hear of a pan and broom?) 

 

Of course, this entire gourmet dining charade was Kit's half-baked plan to expose Gary as Theo's killer.

 

Wrongo.

 

We now know (via flashbacks) that Sarah was the killer. She was the last person in Theo's flat and wound up face-to-face with the abusive bully on the scaffolding outside the flat. As Theo made cruel comments about Sarah's stillborn son (Billy), Sarah defended herself by pushing Theo and then whacking him with a conveniently placed iron bar. Theo fell to the ground.

 

After realizing that Theo was dead, Sarah phoned Gary who came over and helped Sarah cover up the deadly deed. After that, the two struggled to stay quiet as Swain and Kit fumbled to identify the killer. Now the truth must surely come out, especially after Sarah confesses to Todd.

 

It's only a matter of time before Kit finds out and that's going to put a crimp in his plans to propose to Sarah (unless he's keen on a prison wedding).

 

Elsewhere, Ronnie still has a big headache thanks to Carl who fumbled a simple gun delivery for Fiona. Now Fiona is adamant that she wants her weapon and Ronnie is (if you'll excuse the expression) under the gun. 

 

Of course, we know that it was Crazy Jodie who got hold of the gun. 

 

Speaking of Jodie. the nutjob decides to make David jealous by going on a date with Ryan. The date is almost (but not quite) as excruciating as Kit's dinner party (Dunch, anyone?). To his credit, Ryan quickly susses the negative chemistry with Jodie and cuts her loose. Ryan deserves better, much better.

 

Over at the hospital, Sam is recovering but he is not happy with the effects of the medication which he blames for his diminishing chess-playing ability and other changes to his brain. Nick can only resort to his patented furrowed brow and constipated facial expression.

 

Over at Dev's, Asha and Nina decide to rent the old Theo and Todd 'flat of horror' (how soon they forget). Dev is not happy but Roy, as always, exudes class and generosity and even presents Nina with a train-based housewarming gift.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:  

 

Sarah tells Gary to keep quiet about Theo's murder: 

"You've got to keep your head down and your gob shut"

(and don't get those two things mixed up)

 

Sarah to Kit:

"Can we just have one night when we don't talk about murder?"

(how about next Tuesday?)

 

Maria to Kit:

"One Sarah plus one Gary equals two cheats"

(I didn't know Maria was a math whiz)

Sarah finally confesses to Todd:

"It was me. I knocked Theo off the scaffolding"

(oops) 

Maria informs the dinner party of her suspicions about Gary and Sarah:

"They've been at it for weeks"

(at what? can you be more specific?) 

Maria to the dinner party guests:

"It's like riding a bike, the town bike"

(you mean like a legover cycle?) 

Maria storms out of the dinner party as Gary remains silent:

"So you're a coward then as well as a rat"

(dessert anyone?) 

 

***

Well, fellow Sarah Skeptics, so ends another week and the cat is finally out of the bag. So many questions. When will Kit discover the truth? And what will he do? Will he try to cover up the truth, or will he dispatch Sarah to prison to keep Lou company? Time will tell. Thanks, as always, for the pleasure of your company and have a great week.