Christmas Coronation Street schedule on CBC

please note no spoilers were used in the making of this post

As you have no doubt noticed, Christmas has definitely not come early for Canadian Corrie fans. Coronation Street will not be seen on December 23 or December 24 or December 25.

But fear not fellow Corriephiles. We have heard on high (from the CBC Media Centre) that lo, there will come to us a bounty of Corrie and we will be rewarded after Christmas with the following cornucopia of episodes as follows:

Dec 26 (one hour of Corrie from 7pm to 8 pm)

Dec 27 (one hour of Corrie from 7pm to 8 pm) 

Dec 30 (one hour of Corrie from 7pm to 8 pm) 

Jan 1 (one hour of Corrie from 7pm to 8 pm)

Jan 2 (one hour of Corrie from 7pm to 8 pm)

Jan 3 (one hour of Corrie from 7pm to 8 pm)

 

As usual, episodes will be rebroadcast each night starting at midnight. As always, I urge you to check local listings for the correct broadcast times in your region.

 

Remember to adjust your video recording devices if your holiday festivities prevent you from watching the live broadcasts (surely not! - ed). 

 

Have a wonderful holiday and a Merry Christmas!

 

Coronation Street TGIF: The Flush and Go edition

please note this post makes reference to the December 19 episode on CBC

My goodness! Can you believe the randy behaviour at Peter and Carla's wedding? There were more legovers than an erotic Can Can festival. Elsewhere on the Street, it looks like Dev is back to being Dev with a wacky scheme to get in shape. David is getting back to the salon and Tim is getting into the window cleaning business. Now, how about a few lines of the week:

Carla wants Peter to get a DJ or a band for their reception: 
"I just don't want silence at my wedding"
(what about adultery?)


Tim's assessment of Eva:
"She puts the 'chest' in Manchester, that's for sure."
(and who puts the 'man' in Manchester?)


Sally reminds Jason how he did a runner from his last wedding:

"I was telling Tim about how you escaped through the toilet window"

(sounds like another case of 'flush and go') 

Peter shares a joke with Tina:

"You know what they say about monogamy - damn fine wood"

(You know what they say about Tina - she's pine-ing for you and making a terrible mistoak)

Sally applauds her boyfriend's business idea:

"Tim's thinking outside the box"

(oh no, maybe we should seal up the box) 

The sign on Tim's new van:

"Flush and go"
(how about changing it to 'Skiver Driver'?)


Crazy Mary doesn't mind if David does her hair:
"David has had his hands on my split ends on more than one occasion"
(and he wasn't even doing her hair)


Peter's wedding vow to Carla:
"I want to look after you because you make me a better man"
(Wait, are you talking about Tina or Carla?)


Tina tells Fiz she doesn't want to stay at the wedding reception:
"I think I'm getting off"
(you certainly will be later)


Peter's speech at his wedding:
"We can't help who we fall in love with"
(that's why they invented bigamy)

***

Loved the wedding! Especially that artisanal vow which Peter wrote. How did it go again? "An old Apache proverb says that if you follow a crooked path across a stream, then you will have it off with a fit bird..." or something like that. Anyhoo, you get the idea. Have a great weekend and thanks for stopping by. You are always welcome here at the Hip. Cheers!

Coronation Street TGIF: the Barlow bigamy option editon

please note this post makes reference to the December 12 episode on CBC

Could Peter Barlow be considering bigamy 2.0?  He did it before when he married a florist and a barmaid (Lucy and Shelley). That didn't work out so well as I recall. Still, it's an option isn't it? You see, Peter 'babe magnet' Barlow has this problem. He's supposed to marry Carla (foxy & rich) but he's got this thing for Tina (good with Simon & fit). What's a man to do? Of course the bigamy logistics alone are a flippin' nightmare. You know the routine: breakfast with Tina, work with Carla, footie with Tina, tea with Carla etc. etc. And the costs! Two apartments. Two pairs of pyjamas. Two toothbrushes. Two sets of lies. It's exhausting. Anyhoo, on with some lines from the week:

Carla talks about Hayley:
"A woman's like a tea bag. You don't know how strong she is until she's in hot water"
(but you do have to wait 5 minutes)


Anna tires of Sally's constant comments about the Faye sitaution
"You are starting to bug me"
(join the club)


What was Steve looking at on the Internet?
"A full page of otters that look like John Lennon"
(Attaboy Steve, keeping striving for academic excellence)


Tim confesses to Sally his shortcomings as a father:
"I come from a long line of rubbish dads"
(glad to see you're keeping the tradition alive)


Roy promises Hayley that he will be cheerful at her funeral:
"My eyes might smile but my heart will weep"
(Amen)


Liz tells Tina that Peter is flirting with her: 
"He's all over you like eczema"
(only more difficult to get rid of)


Liz issues another warning to Tina:
"You're playing with fire"
(but mostly cigarettes) 


Steve shares a college joke with Michelle and Liz:
"What was Anne Boleyn's brother called? Ten pin."
(I still don't get it)


Carla admits her shortcomings to Michelle:
"I know I'm a controlling cow"
(don't forget to include that when you write your own vows)


Kirk takes Peter for a stroll down memory lane during his stag do:
"Do you remember when you married those two birds at the same time?"
(hmm, no doesn't ring a bell. Can you be more specific?)

***

Well, Corriephiles of Canada, so ends another week. Steve is up to funny business and Michelle is on to him. But who is this mysterious Andrea?  Roy and Hayley continue on their painful path preparing for the end. Carla loves her wedding dress. The 'Simon bullying' fallout continues. Beth and Kirk have made up and Peter and Tina have reserved a romantic place for two... in the Rover's mens room. Can the upcoming wedding be anything but great? Thanks for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!

Is Peter Barlow the sexiest man on Coronation Street?

please note this post makes reference to the Dec 11 episode on CBC

I went down to the Horton's yesterday because I needed an expert opinion from Judy who works the drive thru window on the morning shift and is a devoted Corrie fan. I ordered my usual, a medium 'double, double and trouble' (coffee with two creams, two sugars and a shot of Bailey's) and asked Judy the question point blank.

"What's the deal with Peter Barlow? Why do women find him so damn attractive?"

I had been trying to figure this out ever since Tina started making goo-goo eyes at Peter. Let's consider the facts. Peter is an alcoholic, chain smoking, bigamist and bankrupt bookie who almost burned down his own apartment in a drunken stupor (and those are his good points - ed).  And yet, he has managed to attract a bevy of women including Leanne (jilted for Carla) and Carla (less attractive now that Tina's around). Just about the only woman who hasn't fallen for him is Emily Bishop (there's still time - ed).

So what's the attraction?

Judy was busy assembling a box of TimBits for a punter but she managed to offer an opinion.
 
"Peter is one of the more attractive men on the Street," she said. "He's got a bit of the bad boy plus a cute dimple and he's a good listener - especially when it comes to women. That's why Carla fell for him. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got five punters waiting for their breakfast paninis."

So maybe Peter Barlow is the sexiest man on Coronation Street. Who knew?

Steve Mcdonald's Top 10 Google searches

please note this post makes reference to the Dec10 episode on CBC

1. what is Google?

2. me (later changed to Steve Mcdonald)

3. otters that look like John Lennon

4. how to download a computer virus

5. squirrels that look like Paul McCartney

6. how to order a copy of the Facebook 

7. animals which don't look like Ringo

8. is ‘Craig’s List’ a movie about World War II?

9. animals which look like 'The Animals'

10. how to post a classified ad on Schindler’s List 

Coronation Street TGIF: the knickergate edition

please note this post makes reference to the Dec 5 episode on CBC

Well, it looks like Underworld's skiver employee of the month program is now rife with scandal.  Peter Barlow's grand scheme to increase productivity has, in a way, worked since Beth outsourced her knicker stitching to Sinead. According to Kirk's calculations (oxymoron surely? - ed), Beth was announced the winner. Now, she's been caught with her knickers in a bag. All bets are off and a public inquiry has been launched by Peter and Carla. Kirk has been questioned. What did he know? (nothing - ed) and when did he know it? (never - ed).

Elsewhere, Grace - aka 'Demon Seed' - reaches new lows of bullying and poor Simon is the victim. Steve is off to night school. Brian has cruelly torpedoed Julie's dreams of foster parenting. Nick's recovery is slow and difficult. Gail's a royal pain. Deirdre's gone to Canada (only Canada you say? Pity). And now a few lines from the week:

Nick gives Leanne an update on his mental state:
"I don't know the Canadian national anthem"
(hint: it's not by Arcade Fire)


Beth recounts her past as a foster child: 
"I was once a troubled teen"
(now she's a troubled adult)


Nick loses it while helping Simon with a volcano project:
"It's NOT lava!"
(Okay, okay. Let's just call it red, hot liquidy stuff)


Nick tells Leanne how he feels about their relationship:
"I don't have a wife Leanne, I have a carer"
(two carers actually, if you include Gail)


Anna shares her opinion of Grace with Faye: 
"She's a proper little bossyboots"
(that's a nice word for what she is)


Nick shares his concern about Leanne with Gail:
"When was the last time you saw her laugh?"
(During the last Weatherfield Three Stooges film festival?)


Michelle apologizes to Steve for comments about his intelligence:
"You're not really thick"
(although he did marry Tracy)


Kirk is upset about Beth's cheating and lying and wants to reconsider their relationship:
"I need to think and me head hurts"
(you have to pace yourself Kirkie, take a break now and then)

***

Well, fellow friends of Corrie, that wraps up another week on the Street. I'm looking forward to Steve's first classes at night school.  I hope Brian gets his just desserts and, as for dealing with Grace, well perhaps this is a job for Tracy. Anyhoo, thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week. I'll meet you back here next week.

Cheers!

Nick's volcano meltdown: I can't believe it's not lava!

please note this post makes reference to the December 2 episode on CBC

Poor Nick. His rehab is going slowly and it doesn't help when his family keeps placing him in stressful, noisy situations like a loud children's Halloween party or a wild hen-do at the Bistro or now a high-pressure school project on volcanoes for Simon.

How is Nick supposed to keep calm while searching for technical volcanic terminology like 'fissure vents', 'andesitic lava', 'magma chamber' and 'core–mantle boundary'? And what is that red stuff that comes out of the crater? No, it's not lava. It's like that cheap viscous wine you get at the Rovers. Merlot? Zinfandel?

Doesn't matter. Anyway the point is maybe it would be better for Nick to take it easy for a few months and stay away from the Bistro?  Couldn't someone else help Simon with his volcano project? Grandma Deirdre knows a lot about smoking and that involves ash and fire. And what about Peter? He has a keen understanding of the eruption of deadly gases. After all, he accidentally set fire to his apartment.

Surely someone can give Nick a break before he blows his top - again.

Coronation Street TGIF: the vortex egg edition:

please note this post makes reference to the Nov 29 episode on CBC

Apparently there's only one way to make a poached egg and that's with a swirling vortex of boiling water in a pot. At least that's what Roy Cropper says. Personally I prefer scrambled and that doesn't work so well in boiling water (I've tried).

Elsewhere?  Todd seems to be even more of a skiving waster than Ryan. Tina got tele-dumped by Tommy. Brian doesn't want to be a foster parent. David is being pathetic (again). Hayley is working on Carla's wedding dress but the initial blueprints sketches look like a cross between Cinderella and Lady Gaga. Onward with some memorable lines from the week that was:

Roy reveals his surprising interest in Deep Purple and the Royal Philharmonic:
"Two species bound together by sound"
(... and drugs)


Roy to Hayley:
"I always thought your guilty pleasure was glam rock"
(subsequently reinforced by designs for Carla's wedding dress)


Sean to David who has had too much to drink:
"Why did the drunken self-pitying misery guts cross the road?"
(to get to the other side?)


David to Sean
"I hate me"
(there's a Facebook page for that with thousands of followers)


Deirdre commiserates with Carla over the wedding dress dilemma:
"I was in suits for three of my weddings"
(the groom wore a dress) 


 Deirdre tells Rita the sad news about Tina - in front of Tina:
"Tommy finished with her on the phone from the Canaries"
(could have been worse. He could have sent a text)


Lloyd explains Streetcars' complicated HR compensation policy to Todd:
"Work first, then get paid"
(Todd's not familiar with the concept)


Carla has second thoughts about asking Hayley for help with her wedding dress:
"I just made the biggest mistake in the history of the world"
(just wait till you marry Peter Barlow)


Kylie is fed up with David hanging around:
"Go back and crawl under your rock"
(He can't. Even his rock kicked him out)


Brian explains to Marcus why he became a teacher:
"Pedagogic propaganda"
(Damn you, Mr. Chips!)


Gail feels sorry for David:
"He hates himself for what he's done"
(not as much as we do)

***

Well, fellow companions in Corriedom, we reach the end of another week and we look forward to Carla's wedding, David's new living arrangement (with Gran) and Todd's meteoric rise in the taxi business (or not). Thanks so much for stopping by and visiting. Have a great week and I'll meet you back here next week.

Cheers!