Coronation Street Catch Up: the under-cooked prawn curry edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

If Summer married into Bernie's family, would she be Summer Winter? 

(just asking)

 

As for the Dev-Bernie wedding, well let's just say it was unusual.

 

First there was the arrival of Auntie Rani, a severe lady who takes a dim view of Bernie and her friends. Then there's Bernie's plan to skim off money from Aunties' 25K wedding gift to help Aadi pay off debts he incurred while mismanaging Dev's shop. That plan seems to go awry when Auntie leaves suddenly before the wedding after Dev publicly admonishes her for calling Bernie "common".

 

The actual wedding went ahead... slowly.

 

Bernie was late because she caught Brody burgling Dev's house (apparently he was desperate to raise cash to run away to Spain with his sisters). No matter, Debbie managed to entertain the impatient guests with a stunning - extended play - vocal performance (Hopelessly Devoted to You). For an encore, she proposed to Ronnie (he accepted BTW) before Bernie showed up. One must say that Bernie's outfit was quite..um.. arresting and her blonde blob bun was effervescent. 

 

But, hold on, as the ceremony got underway Bernie had trouble breathing. Could it be a panic attack?

Elsewhere the fallout from Kevin's lies (pretending he still had cancer) continues. When Debbie finds out, she is livid and disowns him and then, later, re-owns him. Kevin wants Carl to leave the garage and go back to Germany but he still seems to be hanging around. 

 

For Abi, Kev's lies seem to be the green light for her to jump into bed with Carl. Carl tries to break off his relationship with Abi lest Kevin shop him to the police. Carl reveals Kev's blackmail scheme to Abi and another legover ensues. Carl then confesses all his misdeeds (debts, fake MOTs. car theft) to Abi who walks out on him but returns to his hotel room. Despite her misgivings, I think you can guess what happens next (it starts with "leg" and ends with "over").

 

Over at Eileen's house, Todd seems to have one bad idea after another. Certainly busting in on Theo's family get-together to tell everyone that Danielle's snog-partner is Noah was not a brilliant idea. Then there was the summit meeting with Billy and Danielle that also went awry.  

 

The result?

Todd's sleeping on the couch (and it's his house!)

 

Poor James is no longer taking care of Laila as Dee Dee (as Laila's Mum) wants to be Laila's parent. James is ready to leave Coronation Street but Dee Dee tries to convince him to stay and help her raise Laila.

 

Lisa seems to be having a breakthrough in her therapy sessions as she struggles to decide whether her late wife (Becky) was corrupt. Nice to see that the therapy is finally helping but why does the therapist call someone and tell them about Lisa's breakthrough? And what is Kit's involvement in all this?

 

Meanwhile, Carla is trying to help Lisa and decides that one way is by visiting Logan Radcliffe in jail as apparently he and his brother may (or may not) know something about Becky's alleged corruption. One small snag. Logan wants 10K before he'll disclose any info but he gives Carla a tidbit of info for free.

Tim and Sally are worried about bruises on the arm of Shanice. Sally wants to call social services but Brody doesn't want social services involved because they might break up the family. Brody also attends a footie match with Kit as the two get to know each other.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Bernie to Nick as Dev does some pole dancing during his stag night:

"You'd be amazed at our bedroom athletics"

(try getting that image out of your head)

Mary recounts her India anecdote to the hen-do guests:

"I often wonder how my life would have turned out if I hadn't eaten that under-cooked prawn curry"

(fewer visits to the hospital ER?) 

Shona to Auntie Rani and hen-do guests:

"This hen-do is the worst thing ever"

(and she's married to David) 

Auntie Rani to Dev re: Bernie

"She is a common loudmouth"

(hold on! She's not common) 

Debbie is escorted by Ronnie and Roy:

"Shall I be luncheon meat between a Royston and Ronnie sandwich"

(please! I just had breakfast) 

Theo to Todd: 

"Either you sleep downstairs on the sofa or you'll never see me again"

(but it's Todd's house) 

 

Kev to Carl: 

"Go back to Germany"

(or you'll miss Oktoberfest) 

Logan Radcliffe is surprised to see Carla visit him in jail

"I've always been dead popular with lesbians"

(and the police) 

 

Theo's description of Rev Billy.

"Patron saint of sticking his beak in"

(Saint Nosy of Assisi?) 

Carl confesses his dodgy MOT activities to Abi:

"I've been doing it from Kev's garage"

(are we still talking about MOTs?)

 

***

Well, fellow pole dancing partisans, so ends another week. Sorry to see Auntie Rani leave so soon. Not sure what the end game is for Abi, Carl and Kev but it doesn't look good for Kev, the garage, Carl, Abi or the Federal Republic of Germany. Thanks so much for stopping by. Have a great week!

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Dr. Lager to the rescue edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Well, Abi and Carl didn't waste much time, did they?

 

As soon as Abi discovered that Kev was lying about his cancer and the need for more chemo, she had the green light to have it off with Carl. It was every bit as romantic as a legover can be... in a garage (I hope they didn't get motor oil on their unmentionables).

 

It was Ty who finally spilled the beans to Abi and the fact that Kev no longer had cancer. Abi was naturally incensed and decided to leave Kevin but may have changed her mind because Jack was upset. Meanwhile Carl's ardour has cooled somewhat because Kev is threatening to shop him to the coppers for all his illegal activities at the garage (theft, fake MOTs etc.).

 

Elsewhere Todd keeps getting into scrapes. 

 

First he gate crashes a conversion therapy session and gets into a scuffle with conversion therapy specialist Noah. One of the punters takes a video of the episode and, as a result, Todd is reported to the coppers who force Todd to participate in a restorative justice session with Noah.

 

Then, while Theo is having a family reconciliation session at the Bistro, Todd bursts in and announces to the family that Danielle (Theo's wife) and Noah are having it off. This results in Theo's son (Miles) taking a swipe at Todd and, as he intervenes, Theo (unfortunately) punches Miles.

Over at Ed's house, Dee Dee has decided that she wants to keep her baby. James is upset at this turn of events as he was expecting to adopt Laila. As Dee Dee juggles motherhood and her legal work, James takes the opportunity to look after Laila. But then Dee Dee discovers that he was seen leaving the house with packed bags and the baby. Surely he doesn't intend to kidnap Laila?

 

Dev has returned from India and is stumbling into a lot of secrets at home. First he didn't know about Adi's wild party (until Lauren told him). And he still doesn't know that Adi faked a robbery to collect insurance money to pay off debts that he racked up while mismanaging the shop. 

 

Adi learns that the insurance company won't pay out to cover the fake losses. So Bernie (who is in on the deception), has a plan to siphon off some of the money that Dev's aunt has promised as a wedding gift for the upcoming nuptials of Dev and Bernie.

 

Audrey's birthday party goes well except that Leanne finds Sam hiding under the desk in the Bistro office. Sam has been traumatized (by Lily's actions during Mick's school rampage). David's efforts to talk to Sam fall flat. Sam then engineers a revenge gambit against Lily (scaring her into thinking her house has been burgled). The truth is that Sam is having anxiety attacks and needs help. Toyah finally recognizes the extent of his trauma.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Carl to Abi after their inaugural legover:

"Wow"

(care to expand?) 

Abi to Carl after their inaugural legover:

"That was cracking"

(and it was in a garage) 

Nick to Sam:

"Don't take advice from your Uncle David"

(Good advice) 

Bernie doesn't want Dev's expensive wedding limo:

"You could stick me in a wheelbarrow"

(it might come to that) 

Abi to Carl:

"You basically lied to get your leg over"

(what's your point?) 

James (to Ed) as he tries to drown his sorrows:

"Dr Lager to the rescue"

(maybe switch to Dr. Non-alcoholic lager) 

 

Jack to Abi re: Kevin:

"You're his rock"

(yes, from the Paleozoic era) 

Millie to her brother re: Theo:

"He's gay now"

(keep me posted if there are any changes) 

Bernie to Dev re: supper:

"I can do one of my veggie bakes"

(hmm. Let me get back to you) 

Bernie to Dev:

"I want to be married to Weatherfield's most handsome man"

(I'll start looking) 

Kev to Carl:

"You're dead to me"

(Quick, call George) 

 

Kev to Abi re: Carl:

"The way you look at Carl; younger, fitter"

(dodgier) 

 

***

Well, fellow Carl Critics, so ends another week. The truth finally comes out about Kev's cancer remission. Abi and Carl finally have their legover.  Dee Dee finally realizes that she wants her baby. What's next?

Thanks so much for spending time here at the Hip and have a great week. 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the friendly smacker edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

You must remember this.

A kiss is just a kiss. 

Unless from Debbie, it's inspired.

The fundamental things in life when Ryan's fired...

 

Yes, Debbie continues to struggle with her diagnosis of dementia and lashes out at anyone who is trying to support her, including poor Ryan on whom she plants one right on the kisser. When Ryan mentions this to Ronnie and Debbie (who has forgotten the incident), Debbie reacts badly and fires Ryan.

 

Meanwhile Deb's brother, Carl, is being hounded by a loan shark and asks Deb for some cash. Deb is happy to oblige until she learns that Carl wants a cool 50K! No dice. Debs doesn't have that kind of cash to throw around. Abi is increasingly worried about Carl.

 

Some good news and bad news. 

 

Dev is back from India and is happy to see everyone. That's the good news. The bad news? Dev doesn't know that Adi arranged for a fake robbery (thanks Brody!) so he can claim insurance money to pay for the losses he incurred while Dev was away. It seems like a goofy plan which is destined to fail. Bernie knows about the scheme but decides to stay quiet.

 

Dev is not that keen on Adi's budding romance with Lauren and manages to anger Adi with his disdain for Lauren. Lauren still doesn't know that she drank Adi's spiked drink at Adi's ill-fated party.

 

Happy Birthday to Audrey!

 

Seems that Aud is celebrating her 85th with a celebration at the Bistro (where else?) Alas, poor Sam leaves the celebration and is obviously traumatized following Lily's bizarre actions, i.e. locking the classroom door in Sam's face when Mick was rampaging through the school.

 

Speaking of Mick et famille. Mick and Lu's kids are in the care of Tim and Sally. Sally takes Shanice and Janie to visit Lu in jail. Lu takes the opportunity to have a quiet word with Sal and asks her to cough up the dosh to hire an expensive lawyer to help her case. 

 

Meanwhile all is not rosy with Todd and Theo. Theo gets ambushed by professional conversion therapy vicar, Noah. Noah convinces Theo to try conversion therapy again. Todd subsequently gatecrashes a conversion session and gets into a rumble with Noah. Natch', someone caught the whole thing on a cellphone camera. A video on social media is sure to follow.

 

Michael is shocked to discover that Carla wants to meet with Logan (one of the dastardly Radcliffe brothers) to find out what he knows about Lisa's late ex-wife (Becky) and the mystery surrounding her death and possible corruption.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was: 

 

Kit to Sarah who brings him some candy:

"I just don't like nuts in chocolate"

(next time, just bring him a Curly Wurly)

 

Debbie disputes Ryan's version of her lip lock: 

"That wasn't a kiss, that was a friendly smacker"

(tongueless, of course) 

 

Debbie again to Ryan:

"Keep your sticky beak out of my business"

(it's not sticky) 

 

Noah (conversion therapy guy) to Theo:

"You know what you're doing is a Cardinal sin"

(putting up scaffolding?) 

Audrey to Sarah:

"There's always a downside to irresistible men" 

(Yes, Alfie was fighting women off with a stick) 

Dev tells Aadi he needs his special good luck charm for a golf game:

"Have you seen my lucky boxers?" 

(Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazer?) 

***

Well, fellow Weatherfield wanderers, so ends another week. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week. 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the ice wife edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Looks like the Coronation Street Wing of Weatherfield General Hospital is filling up once again as Gary and Kit are occupying beds (although Lauren has been discharged so that frees up a room just in case any other Corrie residents are assaulted, stabbed, drugged etc).

 

But back to Gary. 

 

We finally discover that Gary (who was MIA for a while) is recovering from nasty injuries at the Weatherfield Hospital. A mystery visitor appears constantly at his bedside. The nurses call her 'Gemma" and believe that Gary's name is 'Chesney'. 

 

What gives? 

 

Seems it's all a ruse concocted by Lu. Lu tried to blackmail Gary for cash (which she desperately needs). Gary refused and so Lu slugged him and, after Gary was taken to hospital, Lu somehow convinced the nurses that the patient's name was Chesney and that she (Lu) was named Gemma (what? no medicare card verification?)

 

It's a big mystery until Maria figures out that Lu is hiding the truth and the whole charade unravels quickly. Now Lu is behind bars and Maria is in a snit because Gary lied to her about Lu's attempt at seduction and blackmail. 

 

And what of Lu's better (not so much) half?

 

Mick is in jail (after killing poor Craigie) but engineers his exit from incarceration via the prison laundry (motto: we offer one hour Martinizing and escape). 

 

Mick's half-baked plan is to gather together his family and, I guess, scarper to greener pastures. Brody (former son of Mick and now biological son of Kit) is tasked with gathering together the family but Sally is with Joanie and the two hide on the roof of Underworld as Mick frantically searches for them.

 

Kit tracks down Mick at Underworld but, during a struggle on the catwalk, Mick stabs Kit. It ends with a standoff between Mick and Sally on the roof of the factory. Sally bravely convinces Mick to back down.  Kit is taken to hospital and seems to be recovering until he takes a turn for the worse and is rushed into the operating room.

 

Phew!

 

Elsewhere, Kev has decided that it's a good idea to lie about his cancer and tells everyone that the chemo didn't work. This is a ploy to try to ensure that Abi doesn't leave him.  Tyrone soon rumbles Kev's deception and insists that Kevin tell Abi the truth, but Kev declines as Abi has booked a romantic getaway and Kev doesn't wanted to spoil things by revealing his deception.

 

Over at Ed's place, James is still angry with Dee Dee for her secret christening of Laila. Meanwhile Dee Dee meets a charming (ish) stranger in the Rovers and they seem to get on quite nicely.

 

And, finally, it looks like Daniel may be once again working at Weatherfield High School as he has an interview for a teaching job (briefly interrupted by Mick rampaging through the school). Oh, and why did Lily lock Sam out of a classroom while Mick was terrorizing the school kids? Nick wants to know.

 

And now for a (very) few lines from a rather dark and humourless week that was:  

 

Kevin's sister thinks that her health problems should be secondary to Kev's health:

"Debbie does dementia can wait"

(maybe cut down on the white wine though)  

Gary to Maria re: the hospital staff:

"They think I'm Chesney"

(Maybe that's why they asked you for free kebabs?) 

Mick discovers Tim's contact name for Sally:

"Ice wife"

(Tim insists ICE stands for 'In Case of Emergency') 

 

***

Well, fellow cobble comrades, so ends another week. It seems that the past week was more like 'Scott and Bailey' and less like Coronation Street. I wonder if Mick and Lou's kids will become regular cast members now that both parents are in jail. Hmm. Thanks so much for spending your quality time here at the Hip. Have a great week and all the best!

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Bloomin' Lovely edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Do you get the feeling that Theo's rug is screwed on a bit too tight?

 

He does seem to be a bit of a head case. Not to mention his demon daughter, Milli Vanilli Silli. Young Millie is feigning pregnancy but is then caught out by Todd who tries to help. But Millisima then tells her Dad that Todd took her out for a quick abortion. 

 

This time, Theo doesn't fall for Millie's lies and (once again) makes up with Todd but then threatens James and tells him to stay away from Todd. One might come to the conclusion that Todd is better off without Theo.

 

Elsewhere, Nina, Summer and Lauren are all suffering from the after effects of the drug they took (Summer and Nina intentionally, Lauren by accident). Lauren is in the hospital recovering from her drug- induced nightmare. Nina believes she assaulted a man while under the influence of the narcotic.

 

Nina finally goes to the police with her story but detective Kit can find no record of anyone who was assaulted and drops the case. Over at the hospital, a guilt-ravaged Aadi visits Lauren and tries to comfort her but doesn't tell her the truth about how she came to ingest a dangerous narcotic.

 

More grief for Aadi at home as Bernie has invited Brody to stay at Dev's house. Bernie is intent on fostering a relationship with her grandson after revealing to all and sundry that Kit is the real father of Brody. It was also Bernie who stuck her oar in and encouraged Aadi to let loose and have a party. 

 

Meanwhile there is grave concern over Gary's prolonged disappearance.

 

Maria is out of her mind with worry and she goes to the police. Kit (are there any other coppers working?) takes on the case. An unidentified coma patient at Weatherfield General turns out not to be Gary.

 

However Gary is in a hospital somewhere with serious injuries and Lu is at his bedside. What gives? I guess we'll find out more in due time.

 

In leg over news, Steve and Cassie are getting it on and Tracy is not happy and so is squeezing Steve for an ownership share in Streetcars as part of her divorce settlement. 

 

Elsewhere Ronnie and Debbie are back together. However, that other Webster (Kevin) is not so happy. He now has some strong suspicions about Carl and Abi (is Carl really that hard to resist?) - and even though his cancer is in remission, Kev tells Abi that the cancer hasn't responded to treatment - perhaps as a lever to cement their relationship (but that's just a guess, I'm no therapist). 

 

Speaking of therapy, D.S. Swain is going to her mandatory session but is being rather uncooperative. Hmm. What does that mean?

 

And Dee Dee decides to take Laila for a secret christening (against James' wishes). However James finds out (afterwards) and is livid. 

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was: 

 

Tracy to Bernie re: Billy:

"He's got quite a temper for a man of the cloth"

(they call him the 'raging reverend')

 

Tracy (again) to Bernie: 

"I hear you're the local drug lord"

(they say her purse is a dime bag)

Carl's text to Abi:

"How do I get to know you better"

(check her LinkedIn page) 

Steve's new name for Preston's Petals if he becomes owner:

"Bloomin' Lovely"

(Bloomin' awful) 

Dee Dee to Billy.

"I'd love for you to christen Laila" 

(in an undisclosed location of course)

 

Lu tells Brody that biological paternity isn't a big deal:

"What do a couple of different genes matter?"

(yes, you could have pair of Levis and a pair of Wranglers) 

***

Well, faithful followers, so ends another week. It's good to be back and thanks for stopping by. Have a great week, 

Coronation Street Catch Up... will return next week

 Hi faithful followers,

 

Thanks for tuning in (again).

The blog returns (if all goes well) next Sunday.

Till then, as always, have a great week! 

 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Kristin Squat Thomas edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Well, the truth finally comes out.

 

Kristin Squat Thomas is a man?

No, not that.

 

Bernie knows a lot about magic mushrooms?

No, not that either.

 

Debbie admits to friends and family that she has vascular dementia.

Yes. 

 

After acting a bit strangely (i.e. violently lambasting Brody for underage drinking, lashing out at Bernie, and passing out at Speed Dal), Debbie can hide the truth about her condition no longer and finally agrees to let Abi take her to the hospital.

 

This happens just after Debbie overhears Carl putting the move (again) on Abi but Debs insists she didn't see or hear anything because of her fainting episode.

 

Meanwhile, over at Todd's place, the ongoing soap opera with Theo continues. Their on again, off again relationship is now off again as Theo's manipulative daughter (Millie) tries to drive a wedge between her Dad and Todd.

 

Over at Roy's Caf, Brody manages to annoy D.S. Swain to the point where she arrests him for (and I believe this is the legal term), "irritation with intent to aggravate". While in a jail cell, Brody suffers a seizure and Swain takes some heat for her actions and is subsequently disciplined and instructed to see a therapist.

 

Meanwhile, Brody's Mum is busy trying to snog Gary, leaving her kids with Tim and Sally and then getting a visit from social services after Sally and Tim report her for child neglect. 

 

But there's a silver lining for Lu after her arch enemy (Maria) gets arrested for assault after a tussle with Lu resulting in Lu falling onto David's Ikea glass-topped table (I blame the pictograms and that tiny Hex Key).

 

But let's not dwell on the minutiae when the big story is Drag Night at the Rovers with the award-avoiding star performer named Kristin Squat Thomas. Seems like her brand of vaudeville one-liners is quite popular with the punters except for Ronnie who just wanted a quiet drink and (I guess) assumed that Drag Night would be a mellow evening of reflection and prayer.

 

Back on the Street, Dee Dee can't help but be more involved with her baby as she volunteers to help James in the care of Laila. At the same time, thanks to encouragement from Daniel, Dee Dee does an  interview on Amy's radio show and describes her terrible hospital experience which resulted in an emergency hysterectomy.

Aadi seems to be successfully boring Summer and Amy with his explanation of spreadsheets (Really Aadi! Tell me less).

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Debbie to Bernie re: Brody:

"What a nasty little reprobate"

(True)

Carl to Abi:

"How was the drag night?"

(like Cage aux Folles without the production values) 

Bernie recounts her 'foraging' exploits to Summer and Amy:

"I used to love going out there and sniffing out a puffball or something more mind bending"

(...while listening to Dark Side of the Moon no doubt) 

Debbie panics before her big event:

"There's 40 librarians showing up here in a minute"

(or so I have read...)

 

Debbie to family and friends at Speed Dal:

"I've got dementia"

(finally, a moment of truth) 

 

Words of wisdom from Kristin Squat Thomas:

"I'm bisexual: if I can't get it, I buy it"

(ahem) 

Asha to Billy and Theo:

"It's a drag show not a TED talk"

(TED talks are generally less flamboyant)

 

Debbie to Brody and his underage friend:

"I've got bras that are older than you"

(thank you for your service)

 

***

Well fellow Drag Night Devotees, so ends another week. Just a heads-up for regular readers. Please note that I'll be out of range of Coronation Street next week (and no, it's not because I'll be taking a flight on Jeff Bezos' penis-shaped rocket) so I will be unable to offer my regular feeble commentary on Sunday, July 13.  Fear not (or fear greatly), the blog will resume on July 20th. Till than, have a great couple of weeks!