your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...
It wouldn't be Christmas on the Street without a cat-fight, a non-cat-fight, a departure, a song and a wedding.
So tick all the boxes because the Corrie Christmas episodes had a bit of everything.
There was a cameo from noted psycho and amphibious killer Richard Hillman, one of Gail's notorious exes who showed up in a dream singing a Christmas song.
Then, a last-minute hitch as Audrey showed up during Gail's Hen Do and spilled the beans on Jesse's shady dealings with David. Once Gail discovered that Jesse helped launder the money which David stole from Harvey, the wedding was off. But the next morning (after Gail's nightmare about psycho Richard Hillman), Gail realized that Jesse wasn't so bad after all.
The two lovebirds made up and the wedding went ahead without a hitch...
I'm kidding of course.
There were more fireworks, fights and snafus than question period in the House of Commons.
There was Nick snogging Toyah in full view of all the wedding guests just as Leanne walked into the Bistro. A few insults ensued followed by a vicious fight between Leanne and Toyah which resulted in Officer Craigie intervening and getting assaulted by Leanne. This after a couple of coppers showed up earlier to arrest Nick and Toyah for fraud (based on Leanne's trumped up evidence) however Nick managed to make it back to the Bistro before the wedding was over.
Then there was David who was convinced that Shona had a one-night stand with Adam. David planned to get Adam drunk and confront him but the plan backfired and, during a tussle between David and Adam, Adam wound up falling down the stairs of his flat. Adam was taken to hospital but fortunately he's fine. Shona subsequently insists to David that she didn't have a legover with Adam (pity!) but she refuses to identify the culprit (Kit).
Meanwhile ol' Kit is a busy fella as he seems to be solely responsible for investigating, arresting and interrogating every crime - or possible crime - on the Street.
Outside the Bistro, Daniel and Bethany are a having a heart-to-heart while Daisy watches, waiting to have a chance to talk to Daniel (for whom one suspects she still has feelings). However Daisy is crestfallen to see Daniel proposing to Bethany (Bethany says "yes"). Daisy is even more perturbed when she discovers she is pregnant.
Gail and Audrey had a falling out as Audrey tried to sabotage Gail's wedding plans because she didn't want Gail to go to France and leave her. However the two finally reconciled and had a touching heart-to-heart during the wedding.
In fact, there were a lot of touching moments during Gail's wedding at the Bistro (when guests weren't fighting) including David's excellent (and surprising) speech about Gail, Max's wonderful video compilation of well-wishers, and Jesse's speech.
The grand finale was Gail and Jesse leaving in a white Jaguar on their way to the South of France as everyone on the Street waves a tearful goodbye.
Bon Voyage Gail, we'll miss you!
And now a few lines from the week that was:
Richard to Gail (in a dream):
"We should have died together when we had the chance"
(um, thanks but no thanks)
"It's like West Side Story with wrinkles"
('I Feel Pretty'... old)
Jesse's vow to Gail:
"You've made me the happiest man on the planet"
(could you specify which planet?)
"My soft furnishings are soft clean only"
(thanks for the heads up!)
Audrey issues an ultimatum to Gail:
"If you do decide to marry that man, you'll never see me again"
(You'll have to be more specific. Which man?)
Daisy (in Speed Dal) snaps at Bethany:
"It's not a bhaji, it's a pakora"
(she should study the menu more closely)
David explains one of Gail's exes to Shona:
"Joe, died faking his own death"
(ah those were the days...)
Debbie promoting her New Year's Eve Roman empire theme party to Shona:
"Welcome to the chariot races!"
(It's like 'Gladiator' with canapes)
Gail to Jesse:
"You laundered gangster money for our dream villa?"
(only because the mortgage rates are so high)
Gail to Sally:
"It's just au revoir"
(All the best, Gail)
***
Well, fellow Gail Gazers, so ends another week - and an era - as our beloved Gail makes her exit from Coronation Street for the sunny climes of Southern France, in a villa financed by a gangster's stolen money, and with a former two-timing, children's entertainer. What could be better?
Thanks so much for stopping by and spending time here at the Hip. Have a great week and let's hope the departure of Gail coincides with some new and engaging stories in the New Year.