Coronation Street Catch Up: the Turd Police edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Quick! 

Alert the Weatherfield Police's DPU (Dog Poop Unit), because someone's criminal canine has been soiling Adam's brand new car. 

 

The perp in question is David (the dog, not the hairdresser). The criminal mastermind is Crazy Jodie (Shona's twisted sister). Looks like Adam is tired of seeing Jodie let David poop and/or pee near, and on, his new car (once again I emphasize that I'm referring to David the dog). Adam manages to video the criminal masterminds (Jodie and David) placing a bag of poop (exhibit A) on his car bonnet (hood).

 

I smell a lengthy court case in the future. Hopefully the evidence will be kept in vacuum-sealed containers.

 

Meanwhile Alya is distracted (and not that interested) in Adam's dog poo problem and bothered by a phone call from someone named Rich. That's all we know so far.

 

Back to the Platts. 

 

It seems that Harper's operation went well and Shona and David are relieved (David the dog is probably also relieved - in more ways than one).

 

(I know, I know. Enough with the dog poo/pee jokes). 

 

Jodie is continuing her creepy ways. At the hospital, she pretends to be the mother of Harper until Shona catches her out. Lily may be getting wise to Jodie's weirdness as she finds Jodie's nutty box filled with (among other things) Brian's book and a cutout photo of Bernie's head. What gives?

 

Jodie makes Lily promise not to tell anyone. But how long will she keep schtum?

 

Just when we thought the Theo and Todd debacle was on the back burner, it comes to the forefront again with the same old cringeworthy dynamic. 

 

It's Theo's birthday and Todd tries to scrape together some cash to buy a gift and a birthday dinner for Theo. Theo, of course, manages to undermine Todd's efforts. Theo doesn't like his gift (a blender - perfect for making a smoothie out of Todd's credit cards). Then Todd finds he doesn't have enough money to pay for Theo's birthday dinner (because Theo invited Gary and Maria to dine with them). 

 

It all ends in a violet confrontation with Theo threatening Todd with a knife. That seems to be the last straw and the two part ways - except that Theo is stalking Todd and goes ballistic when he sees Todd and James together. I dread to think of what happens next.

 

Over at the Rovers, Maggie is busy interfering with Ollie's life. She doesn't like Ollie's new girlfriend (Amy) and so sets about to put an end to the relationship by encouraging Lauren to pursue him. Amy gets cheesed when Ollie directs his attention to a glammed-up Lauren. Then Ollie and Lauren have a heart-to-heart and could be back on track. But what's Maggie's end game? 

 

Leanne is more and more concerned about Sam and Sam is not telling her what's wrong. Leanne asks Daniel to have a word but I don't think that's going to help. 

 

Steve is preparing for his Dad's funeral and has been asked to deliver the eulogy. Ben and Tim offer to accompany Steve to the funeral but Steve dismisses Tim's offer in favour of Ben's offer. Poor Tim!  

 

And now for some lines from the week that was: 

 

Shona catches Jodie telling a woman that she's Harper's Mum: 

"Why are you telling this woman that Harper's your daughter?"

(oops!)

 

Jodie to Shona re:the woman who thinks Jodie is Harper's Mum:

"Some people are just weird" 

(and Jodie should know) 

Sally brags about her parenting credentials to Carla and Lisa:

"I'm the mother of two: one straight, one lesbian"

(so, a complete set?) 

Lily to Jodie after she discovers Jodie's secret:

"Why have you got Bernie's head in a box?"

(it was a good fit?) 

Jodie to Adam:

"What are you? The turd police?"

(Dial 1-800-POOP to speak to a detective) 

Steve to Sally who brought donuts to the cab office:

"I don't eat food with holes"

(His Toad-in-the-Hole is just 'Toad') 

Maggie doesn't want to hear Lauren's inappropriate comments:

"If only you had a mute button"

(or at least a snooze button) 

 

Theo to Todd: 

"We both know it's over"

(well someone should tell the writers) 

Theo to Todd:

"All anybody wants is to be happy" 

(so end this story line and make us all really happy) 

Theo to Todd again:

"I sorta feel like you never knew the real me"

(thank goodness for small mercies)

 

Theo to Todd once more:

"You'll always have a special place in my heart"

 (yes, the stabby part)

Todd to Ben:

"I've been dumped by men and women"

(an equal opportunity boyfriend) 

***

Well, fellow Corrie Compadres, so ends another week. Unfortunately the Theo and Todd saga will continue for a while or more (or so I've heard). Jodie continues her strange brand of craziness. Sam is tormented by his knowledge of Megan and Will's inappropriate relationship. However, let's remember he isn't the only one who's aware of them. As I recall (quite a while back) Lauren also spotted Will and Megan being quite cozy at an outdoor cafe. One way or another, let's hope the truth comes out soon.

 

Thanks so much for stopping by and spending time here at the Hip, and do have a great week. 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the "it's prison not Downton Abbey" edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

It's farewell to Big Jim McDonald (so it is).

 

Catch yourself up. The big (flawed) fella was in hospital and Steve almost visited him but then decided not to. Later, after learning that his Dad died, Steve was conflicted and upset. Jim did a lot of ill-advised and bad things (robbing a bank comes to mind) but still we'll miss him (so we will).

 

Jim's passing comes at about the same time as Cassie is planning to propose to Steve. She quickly aborts the idea and everyone keeps schtum about it - except Tracy who can't resist spilling the beans to Steve.

 

Would Steve really get married again?!!

 

Like Henery the 8th's widow in that Herman's Hermits' song, he's been married seven times before. 

Who's in Steve's ex list?

Vicky (equestrian), Karen (nicknamed 'barren' by Tracy), Karen again, Becky (ex-con), Michelle (singer), Tracy (no comment) and Tracy again.

Can Steve really be ready for an eighth marriage? Even Henry VIII would say, "whoa yon knave, that be too many maidens for ye." 

  

Elsewhere, congratulations to Carla and Lisa: it's a girl! (um...left on their doorstep).

Seems that Rob's lovechild (after he romanced a prison guard into springing him from jail) is left to Lisa and Carla while the baby's grandmother (who looks after the child) has surgery. 

 

No questions asked. No calls to social services. It's all agreed to in a couple of minutes and - voila! - Carla and Lisa are new parents. 

 

Over at the funeral home, things are decidedly... well... funereal.

 

George is being sued for being the recipient of a 10,000 pound inheritance from a former grateful (and dead) customer. And now his funeral business is getting a series of (fake) bad reviews (is Shuttleworth's on Trip Advisor?) George is losing business because of the bad publicity and, as a final insult, he is being investigated by the police. 

 

Over at HM Norcross (slogan: most of our inmates know each other), visiting time is being overrun with Coronation Street folk. There's Sally with Brody, Shanice and Joanie visiting Lou. Then there's Carl (the creep) visiting Debbie and asking for more money.

 

Sally overhears Carl's request for cash and reports back to Ronnie.

 

Also at the jail, Lou gets a beating from a fellow inmate and tells Debbie to stay quiet. Later on, Debbie collapses in her cell, possibly from another mini stroke.

 

Over at Dev's, Bernie finally tells Dev the truth about her night with Mal. Dev is furious but later forgives Bernie. Meanwhile Bernie tells Detective Kit about the fact that Mal is stalking her. Kit intervenes by giving Mal a shove. However Mal then suffers a heart attack and is taken to hospital. The search is now on for Mal's assailant. Bernie is arrested and spends a night in jail but is released when her alibi checks out.

 

Jodie continues to act like some kind of pyscho Magpie, stealing items (Shona's wedding ring, a cutout of Bernie's face in a photo) and trying to ensure that David and Shona don't get any alone time. Seems to be working so far...

 

And now for some lines from the week that was:

 

Prison guard rebukes Debbie for an unnecessary request:  

"It's prison not Downton Abbey"

(I could have sworn I saw Lord Grantham in the exercise yard) 

Debbie to Sally re: Carl's demand for money: 

"Keep your sticky beak out"

(it's not sticky) 

 

Tracy decides to tell Steve about the near-miss proposal from Cassie:

"I don't mean to be a cow but..."

(stop right there!) 

Betsy to Carla:

"Where did you get the baby from?"

(Okay, time for a little story about the birds and the bees) 

Jim's ex (Liz) breaks the bad news to Steve about his Dad:

"He's dead (Jim)"

(Is that Liz or Dr. McCoy?) 

Carla tells Sarah why she's not keen on her brother:

"He tried to kill me"

(just a sibling spat I'm sure) 

 

 Mary catches Steve and Cassie in a lip lock:

 "Young love...well love"

(true) 

Lisa to Kit re: resuming her work:

"I need to get back to what I do best"

(and what is that exactly?)

 

George to Christina:

"Did you hear about the undertaker who swindled widows?"

(did he go into a bar with a priest and a rabbi?)

 

***

Well fellow Shuttleworth supporters, so ends another week. Poor George. Will he ever extricate himself from the lawsuit and police investigation? Why not just ignore Christina's advice and just refuse the inheritance? Doesn't look good for an undertaker to receive a cash gift from a deceased customer anyway. Oh well, thanks for stopping by and I do hope you have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Weatherfield Bike edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

Just because Steve's Dad (Jim) has been in prison several times for assorted crimes (manslaughter, assault, attempted robbery) and has been a general waste of space, Steve doesn't seem to have a great relationship with his pater.

 

Quelle surprise.  

 

Anyhoo, that maybe explains why Steverino now seems reluctant to visit dear old Papa when he learns Jim is in hospital.

But at least Steve has a new best buddy: Ben.

 

Yes, Steve and Ben are having a fine bromance. Tim is not best pleased. Maggie seems to take a dim view of Ben's new buddy (and pretty well everything).

 

Maggie also takes a dim view of Lauren and her budding friendship with Ollie. Lauren gets a bit freaked out at the prospect of dating Ollie and stands him up at the Bistro. Never mind. All customers who get stood up are entitled to one free dessert. Sweet!

 

Over at the prison, Carl visits Debbie and asks for a handout. Debbie asks Ronnie to make it happen. Ronnie is not pleased and can't get used to the fact that deadbeat Carl is actually (choke) his stepson! Where did he go wrong?

 

Meanwhile Carl is looking forward to getting his hands on cash from his Mum since she owes him, bigtime (according to Carl). And, when he's not squeezing money from Mumsy, Carl is enjoying the occasional legover with Jodie.

 

What's Jodie's deal anyway?

 

She's a bad influence on Lily (heaven knows Lily was no angel even before Jodie showed up). Jodie is also making Bernie's life miserable by encouraging Mad Mal to pursue Bernie. Then Jezebel Jodie burgles Bernie's house and does some demon decoupage on Bernie's wedding photo. What gives?

 

And I wouldn't be surprised if it was Jodie (not Hope) who stole Brian's valuable edition of 'Woman in White' by Wilkie (not Joan) Collins.

 

If that wasn't enough, Jodie is intercepted by a young girl who knows Jodie from a previous life. Jodie cooks up a cock and bull story about being in witness protection and tells the girl never to contact her again.

 

Jodie's most heinous crime to date?

 

Failing to pick up the poop left by David (the dog not the hairdresser). Fortunately Toyah is there to reprimand her. 

 

Poor Sam is now in a dangerous situation as he tries to expose the inappropriate relationship between Will and Megan. Will invites Sam to a booze drinking session (Sam is caught by Daniel). Sam's ill-advised idea of catching Megan and Will "at it" on a secret video camera is thwarted by some B-movie panto-style acting from Megan and Will. Worse, Megan threatens to expose Sam as a peeping Tom. It's all too much for Sam as he spirals downward and eschews help from his Dad.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Maggie tries to dissuade Ollie from seeing Lauren:

"The woman is a mother"

(yes, you'd be surprised how often that happens) 

Jodie cooks up an explanation for why she left a young girl who recognizes her:

"I'm in witness protection"

(maybe you were living in Spain with Becky?) 

Shona to Jodie re: Carl: 

"Why set the bar so low?"

(that's not just low, that's in the gutter) 

Shona to Jodie:

"He's the Weatherfield Bike"

(an equal opportunity bike) 

Steve to Cassie:

"I'm loved up in hetero heaven"

(I'm nauseous) 

Steve to Cassie re:Tim:

"He can be very clingy"

(try using Bounce) 

 

Ronnie to Carl:

"How do you sleep at night?"

(hanging upside down in a crypt) 

Debbie to Carl:

"You're using me as your personal Golden Goose again"

(now, where are those golden eggs?) 

 

Steve to Ben:

"Is it slow up or slow down?"

(time to consult AI)

 

Jodie to Carl, post-legover:

"Typical bloke. Easy to please"

(next time just buy him a pint. That works too)

Ronnie to Kevin re: dealing with Carl:

"We need to be smart"

(That's a tall order for those two) 

***

Well, fellow Sam sympathizers, so ends another week. These days, it seems like there are too many bad people doing too many bad things (Jodie, Megan, Will, Maggie, Mal, Carl). Hopefully someone will help Sam and expose Megan. As for Jodie, perhaps Kit can figure out exactly where she came from and what she's up to. As for Carl... the sooner he returns to Germany, the sooner we can say Auf Wiedersehen! 

 

Thanks for spending time with us at the Hip and have a great week! 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the belly full of beer edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Hey Ronnie, guess what? Carl is your stepson!

 

Ronnie finds out this shocking news in the usual way... at the bar in the Rovers.

 

This all happens because Carl is cheesed off because Ryan has been appointed boss of the Chariot Square Hotel. Carl is not exactly employee of the month so Ryan has no choice but to fire him. Carl, of course, is aggrieved and concocts an arson plan that will generate an insurance payout for him. However Ronnie gets wind of the plan and puts an end to it. After that, Carl tells Ronnie that Debbie is his Mum. That makes Ronnie the unfortunate stepdad. 

 

Ronnie's next jail visit with Debbie should be quite interesting. 

 

Speaking of interesting, we get a ghostly glimpse of the future during one episode where we see various Corrie characters reflecting on the death of someone (identity not revealed). Betsy is seen being interviewed by the police about the victim. But why is everything so dark? Is the interview being conducted in Dracula's tomb? Don't the cops pay the electric bills?  

 

I guess we'll find out what's going on eventually.

 

Back to the present. 

 

After Daniel meets the man who was found guilty of attacking him, he is convinced that the cops got the wrong man. It finally dawns on Daniel that it was Will who attacked him. Kit (who else?) shows up at the Rovers to arrest Will. However Will is released by the coppers after Maggie provides a convenient alibi (a lie) that 'proves' Will did not attack Daniel. 

 

Daniel is still convinced that Will is the culprit. Meanwhile Sam continues his surveillance of Will and Megan and sees the two driving off together (to spend the night in a hotel). More concerning is the fact that Sam seems to be buying and using some kind of drug.

 

The super-cringe-worthy saga of Todd and Theo continues as Theo gives Todd a sizeable bruise on his neck, snoops on Todd's eating habits, and forces him to continue a punishing running program. Todd subsequently collapses while out running. Friends are worried about Todd but Todd continues to stay with his abusive partner and, worse still, a marriage is in the works.

 

Speaking of marriage, Carla and Lisa have set a date for the big day and it will be (you guessed it) at the Chariot Square Hotel. I'm sure Ryan will ensure that's it's a special day (unless Carl shows up). Sally is already excited and she hasn't even been invited yet.

 

Bernie is still trying to avoid Mal but it's difficult because Mal is constantly hanging around the caf and trying to get Bernie's attention. Jodie stirs the pot by telling Mal that Bernie likes him. 

 

Jodie stirs the pot elsewhere too. She tells Lily that fighting is a good way to deal with the haters at school. And Jodie keeps trying to get cozy with David (why?) So far David (and Shona) seem oblivious to Jodie's wicked ways.

And finally, over at the undertaker's, George learns that he's being sued by a former client who resents the fact that her late mother's will left a sizeable amount of cash to George.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Police officer to Betsy: 

"Did you know the victim Ms. Swain?"

(if she does, maybe she can tell us?) 

Maggie to Eva:

"You're still an outsider looking in"

(and it looks pretty bad) 

Ryan to Carl:

"You're fired!"

(it's like The Apprentice without Gary Busey or Meatloaf)

Maggie to Carl: 

"Good decisions are never made on a belly full of beer"

(you mean like burning down the Chariot Square Hotel?)

 

Jodie to David: 

"Stretch is my middle name"

(as in stretching the truth) 

***

Well, faithful followers, so ends another week. If Corrie producers are reading this, please stop the Todd and Theo horror show. We can't take any more. And just how long will it be until Will and Megan are discovered? Maybe we'll find out in upcoming episodes. Thanks for stopping by and my apologies for the late post (I blame skiving). All the best and have a great week. 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the horrible, horrible person edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

So Debbie says: "I am your father."

Opps, sorry, my bad. That's a line from another long-running video franchise.

 

Debbie actually says to Carl: "You're my son."

 

Just like in Star Wars, it's a shocker but it explains why Debbie has been so tolerant of Carl's many, many shortcomings and why she's prepared to go to jail for him - even though she knows it was Carl who was drunk and driving the car that killed Billy.

 

Debbie's friends and family are in the courtroom (except Carl who's in a major snit because he only just discovered the identity of his real Mom). Everyone is hoping for the best but it's bad news as Debbie is sentenced to two years and eight months in jail.

 

It's generally lonely in jail but not on Coronation Street as Debbie soon runs into an old acquaintance. It's Lou! Sure, they don't get along, but the hoosegow makes for strange bedfellows (just wait till she runs into Becky!)

Meanwhile in non-jail activity, Bernie tries to apologize to Dev for her night of drug taking. She explains that she was in a bad place and the drugs were a foolish mistake. However Bernie conveniently neglects to mention her chummy encounter with Mal (the electrician). Mal hasn't forgotten and seems smitten with the fair Bernardina. In fact, Mal plans to hang around under the pretense of fixing Roy's electrical wiring.

 

As you may have suspected, Jodie is continuing with her devious ways. First she sleeps with Carl (yuk!). Next she tries to prevent Shona from reconnecting with their Dad (who is in a nursing home and in bad shape). Last (and I would say least), she gets Shona drunk so she can snuggle down with David and watch a movie. Let's just say that the euphemism "Netflix and chill" comes to mind.

 

Poor old Todd is now permanently skint because Theo cut up his credit cards and has commandeered Todd's bank account. Todd is reduced to relying on others and particularly George who gives Todd an advance on his wages. Theo, by the way, decided to visit his parents leaving Todd without any money.

 

Congrats to Eva. It's her birthday and Maggie celebrates with some birthday insults. 

 

There's a family celebration at the Bistro (where else?)  Sam comes into the Bistro and keeps an eagle eye on Megan and Will. He suspects that they are engaged in an inappropriate relationship. Megan warns him off and then gets Sam into trouble with his teacher (Daniel) for handing in a late essay. In fact, Megan grabbed the essay and disposed of it while Daniel was marking the papers.

 

Some good news. After an intervention and with the help of Abi, Kev is back to normal and feeling better. Jack returns home (after a short stay with Abi) and Kev shows up in court to support Debbie.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Gemma to Bernie and Dev (who have fallen out):

"There's a proper Siberia vibe in here"

(it's a cold war in the corner shop) 

Mal butters up Bernie:

"You're an amazing woman, Bernie"

(easy, Tiger)

Megan to Will re: Sam: 

"Don't worry about that little snitch"

(that's no way to talk about a student) 

 

Sally shares the benefits of an intervention:

"Tim found it very hard to share when he was going through his erectile dysfunction"

(is that right, Tim? Tell us more)

Brian tries to help Kev who's in distress and on the roof of the garage

"You've got a moderately successful business"

(are you trying to talk him down or convince him to jump?) 

 

Debbie to Carl:

"You're my son" 

(Thanks for the info)

Debbie to Carl:

"I'm a horrible, horrible person"

(the apple doesn't fall far from the tree)

 

Carl to Debbie: 

"Good luck in prison. I won't be visiting"

(Not exactly a Hallmark Card sentiment)

 

Debbie to the prison guard: 

"I don't suppose there's any room service"

(no, and the rejuvenating spa is closed as well) 

Shona to Jodie: 

"David was just being annoying"

(it's his usual mode) 

***

Well  Caf Colleagues, so ends another week. That Jodie is a cagey one and she's up to no good. And I'm not too keen on that Mal fellow. Let's keep an eye on them. In the meantime, thanks for stopping by and have a great week.

Coronation Street Catch Up: the drugs and dodgy men edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

It's farewell to Rev Billy and there's not a dry eye in the congregation during the funeral service.

 

Todd tries to deliver a eulogy but is too overcome with grief so Theo (who disliked Billy) jumps in and improvises a few words that impress the crowd and he earns a round of applause (is this a church or opening night of Miss Saigon?) 

 

Todd is not pleased, and even less so as Theo commandeers Todd finances, snips his credit cards, and thus makes Todd financially dependent. It's a classic case of coercive control (shades of Yasmeen and Geoff). 

 

Do we really have to go through this nightmare again? 

 

Meanwhile Bernie finds her own way to deal with the grief of losing Billy, which triggers memories of her son, Paul. Bernie medicates herself with booze and drugs in the company of a fella named Mal. At the end of a long night, Bernie ends up passed out in one of the Dog and Gun's finest washroom stalls. Meanwhile Dev is worried sick as Bernie goes missing all night.

 

In the morning, Bernie reappears. She refuses to explain her disappearance and insists that everyone (Dev, Gemma, Asha) head over to Tim and Sally's house for Brody's birthday party. Meanwhile Dev is seething.

 

Gemma gets some intel from Ryan (who saw Bernie getting off her head with a guy at the Chariot Square Hotel). Gemma confronts Bernie about her booze, drugs and the strange fella, but Bernie tells her to stay quiet.

 

Here's a coincidence. 

As mentioned, Bernie's drug/booze accomplice was a guy named Mal. Mal previously punched Roy for texting his wife (BTW, Roy had no idea that his pen pal - Alice - was married). 

 

After that, Mal hooked up with Bernie and got wasted with her. The next day Mal (an electrician) leaves his wife and gets a job fixing Roy's electrical wiring. Bernie is shocked to know that Mal is going to be hanging around.

Kev is losing the plot as he is caught sleeping in a customer's car and not answering the phone in the garage. Abi shares her concerns with Debbie who seems to be um.. rehearsing for her role as a prison inmate. 

 

In other developments, Carl knows about Theo's guilty conscience after Theo ensured that Billy perished in the bus crash. On the other hand, Theo knows that Carl orchestrated the holdup at the hotel which resulted in Ryan getting assaulted.

 

So it looks like a guilt standoff as each one threatens the other. 

 

Young Sam has correctly identified Megan's inappropriate relationship with Will but is threatened by Megan and told to keep quiet... or else.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was: 

Bernie explains her disappearance to Gemma:

"I had a bit of a night"

(that's like saying the Pope is a bit religious) 

Kit to Brody re: the party game involving bathroom tissue:

"Is toilet paper Derby not your thing?"

(only after Metamucil) 

Debbie explains the sleeping bag on the floor of her flat to Abi:

"This is my practice bed for prison" 

(What, no shiv?)

Bernie to Gemma:

"I had a bit of a wobble"

(yes, like Lindsey Vonn had a bit of a wobble at the Olympics) 

Gemma tells Bernie that Paul would not be impressed by her behaviour:

"He would be turning in his grave if he knew you'd gone back to drugs and dodgy men"

(not to mention drinking your body weight in alcohol) 

 

Maggie to the ladies at the Rovers:

"Sometimes it pays to drink yourself stupid"

(but there's no medical data to support that) 

***

Well fellow Rovers regulars, so ends another week. Looks like the relationship between Dev and Bernie is having (in Bernie's words) "a wobble". Could this be a more serious rupture (especially with newcomer Mal hanging around)? I guess we'll find out. Thanks, as always, for spending time here at the Hip. Do have a great week.   

Coronation Street Catch Up: the majestic lover edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

You might have thought Carl would be racked with guilt as Debbie faces a prison sentence on his behalf.

 

Wrongo.

 

Carl is doing just fine thank you and has his eagle eye on Shona's sister, Jodie. Our legover probability meter ranks this as 100%. Looks like a match made in heaven (or the other place). 

 

Speaking of Carl, Ty hobbles over to Carl's abode and confronts him (physically) about his hit-and-run that caused Ty's accident. Carl manages to deflect Ty's anger and convinces him that Kevin needs their support. Ty swallows this nonsense. Later, in the Rovers, Kev calls Ty an idiot. Who can blame him?  

 

As if we don't have enough villains on Coronation Street (i.e. Carl and Theo), we can now add Jodie to the list as she insinuates herself into Shona's life and tells her a load of  porkies. Kit is perplexed as he was the one who found Jodie tied up in the back of a van during the mega-crash. No answers so far. 

 

Leanne is encouraged by Eva to offer to buy out Maggie's share of the Rovers. Maggie says "no" and this only exacerbates the war between Eva and her mother-in-law. It's all too much for Ben who suffers a heart episode and is taken to hospital. Ben seems to be okay but is advised to take it easy and avoid stress.

 

Eva and Maggie call a truce but it probably won't last.

 

Carla and Lisa are back together. This after Lisa professes her love for Carla in the Chariot Square Hotel. It's a lovely gesture punctuated by extreme drunkenness and occasional barfing. 

 

Carla is not too impressed but, after some sound advice from Roy (as he commemorates the anniversary of Hailey's death), Carla reconciles with Lisa. Afterwards, the twosome are so um... "affectionately demonstrative" that Betsy feels compelled to invest in a pair of noise cancelling headphones. 

 

Enough said.

 

On the pregnancy front, it looks like Megan is planning on being a Mom. Congratulations to Megan as well as Will, Daniel... and Lee?  Yes, young Lee is a fellow runner who knows Will and is also coached by Megan. Lee makes an appearance at a race in Weatherfield and stops by to re-kindle his relationship with Megan. This is news to Will and he's not pleased. He thought that he was the only underage lad in an inappropriate relationship with Megan. 

 

Megan tells Lee that their relationship is over but how long will it be before someone finds out? Sam (Nick's son) already seems to sense that something is going on. 

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Sally to Carla and Lisa re: Tim:  

"He's a majestic lover when he puts his mind to it"

(careful, you're going to make Lisa barf again)

Tim apologizes to Sally:

"I shouldn't have called you a Karen"

(yes, her name is Sally) 

Maggie is sure that Eva would like to see her die: 

"You'd love me in a box"

(she's probably got George on standby) 

Ben to Will re: his request for extra work at the bar:

"I don't want to go messing up your future"

(that ship has sailed) 

Tracy tells Carla that Lisa is not a good match: 

"She didn't know her wife was still alive. 

She's didn't know you'd been kidnapped"

(actually, those are good points)

Maggie criticizes Eva's attempt to put Ben on a healthy diet:

"We never had cholesterol in my day"

(Yes. I believe the dinosaurs were vegetarians)

Two clients to Carla re: the Chariot Square Hotel restaurant:

"I hear they have a very good cellar here"  

(The wine's not bad either)

Carla to Ryan re: Lisa:

"Knickers can't let you down like people"

(Actually they can. Just ask any Underworld customer) 

Angry Kevin to Ty who has been hoodwinked by Carl:

"I don't drink with idiots" 

(That really narrows down your social circle)

Lisa to Carla's hair-challenged lunch guest:

"I am the police, baldy" 

(I imagine Sting would have said much the same thing)

 

 ***

Well, fellow Carl Critics, so ends another week. We'd like to see some progress on Carl and Theo getting their just desserts. And, from what I can tell, most people have had just about enough of Maggie and her poisonous tongue. 

 

Ah well. The Olympics are over and Canada's hockey team lost a heart breaker to the U.S.  We'll just have to take solace in the fact that Corrie returns to its regular schedule. Maybe, the programming Czars at the CBC might even consider re-instituting the double episodes on Friday... Thanks to all for visiting and do have a great week.