your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...
Here's a handy way to assess any male on Coronation Street:
If Sarah is dating him, he's probably a badun.
Case in point: Kit.
I think, by now, we all know that our dear Kit is not exactly a shining example of integrity in the police force. He arranges for inmates to assault Mick who is being held in prison for the assault and subsequent death of Craig Tinker.
Kit is unrepentant as he believes Mick deserves a beating and Kit also wants Mick out of the picture so he can have unfettered access to Brody (who may be Kit's son) and even Lou.
Meanwhile Brody smashes up Kit's flat as payback for Kit arresting Mick. When Brody is arrested and then quickly released, he starts to get suspicious and wants to know what Kit is up to and why Bernie is going out of her way to help him.
At the same time, Lou is busy getting fired and then rehired (thanks to Gary's intervention) by Maria at the salon
But back to the late P.C. Tinker.
Among the Street residents, Kirk is perhaps most affected as he is grief stricken and also blames Chesney and Gemma for not saying or doing anything about Mick even though they knew he was a violent and dangerous man.
Then there's D.S. Swain who is also profoundly affected by the loss of a fellow officer. In her vulnerable and emotional state, Lisa asks Carla to marry her and Carla is taken aback. She's not against the idea but doesn't think it's the right time. (Tip: don't wait too long or Peter might come back and have it off with Lisa and Carla at the same time - and before you call me crazy, remember... he's got form).
Speaking of death, it's Julie's funeral which is quite um.. non traditional. During a lively celebration in the Rovers, Bombastic Brian decides it's a great time to confront Eileen about the fact that Julie named Eileen as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy. Yes, what an outrage for a sister to leave an inheritance to her closest relative!
Eileen is definitely at a low ebb and George doesn't seem to be able to do or say anything right including proposing marriage to Eileen which is immediately upstaged by the surprise arrival of her son, Jason (with a tan).
Over at the Chariot Square Hotel, Ronnie is crying into his beer and getting some aggro from Carl. On the rebound from Deb's rejection, Ronnie takes up with the long-legged Fiona, a scam artist from his past. Ronnie agrees to help her rip off some poor punter with the sale of a clunker auto. Ronnie can't go through with it and decides to break off his business relationship with Fiona.
However, Carl takes the opportunity to take Ronnie's place as Fiona's scam associate and promptly begins using Kev's garage as a base for issuing fake MOTs in order to sell dodgy cars. Abi is suspicious.
And now for a few lines from the week that was:
Brody wants to know why Kit is bugging him:
"Shouldn't you be out arresting someone for using the wrong pronoun?"
(whom or who would you suggest?)
Bernie to Sarah:
"I've got more skeletons in my closet than caftans"
(that must limit your wardrobe choices)
Sarah wants Kit to tell the truth:
"Are you going to break my heart?"
(Is the Pope Catholic?)
Todd to Eileen re: George:
"He's got a face like a wet blanket"
(you're not helping George's case)
Carla wonders if Lisa has told her boss after learning that Mick's attack was an inside job orchestrated by Kit:
"Have you told Costello?"
(Lou or Elvis?)
"Lucky for you Prosecco doesn't stain"
(that's too bad)
"The Rover returns"
(Good one)
Glenda does a pub survey with Ronnie:
"Are the bogs to your satisfaction?"
(maybe put more pot pourri in the Gents?)
Lou's description of her ex-boss at Audrey's:
"Maria, patron saint of salons"
(Hail Mary, full of product)
Deb to Ryan:
"Would you describe me as fit?"(no comment)
Fiona Longlegs to Ronnie:
"I bet you could sell water to a drowning man"
(depends on the water)
***
Well, fellow Weatherfield watchers, so ends another week. Thanks, as always, for dropping by and spending time here at the Hip. Have a great week!
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