misfortune teller

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 16 episode on CBC

She knows all, sees all, tells all, insults all - for only three quid. All proceeds go to charity*. Roll up, roll up (is that one of those veiled drug references from the 60s? - ed). Let Simon, the Mysterious Assistant & former Robin, show you into Madame Hunt's murky den of commuting spirits - aka Deirdre's sitting room. Silence! Madame Blanche will use her crystal ball (and artificial hip) to divine the future, to know the unknowable to mither the unmitherable. Silence! Madame Hunt speaks:

You will meet a tall, dark stranger... (probably Dev, when you nip round the corner for a pint of milk and a loaf of bread)

You are destined to take a sea voyage... (if you're Ken Barlow and decide to have it off with a tarty actress on a tugboat)

You will meet many men... (if you dress like a tart or Kelly Crabtree - or both)

Your lifeline is very long... (more's the pity given the state of our National Health and meagre pensioner's benefits)

You will go on a long journey... (especially if you have to wait for the Weatherfield bus to get to town, the schedule is atrocious)

You will find great fortune and riches beyond your wildest dreams... (unless you get laid off like Deirdre or wind up collecting supermarket trolleys like Kenneth)


*minus personal expenses and a percentage of the gross - don't breathe word to that busybody Claire Peacock.