Sunday, December 17, 2023

Coronation Street Catch Up: the auberge-parma-thingy edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


RIP Vin Diesel (the Weasel), we hardly knew ye.

Yes, the adorable stuffed carnivore who adorned the trendy Trim Up North has left the cast (soon to appear on Strictly Come Dancing perhaps?)

Seems Vin needed a new home after Trim Up North closed so David (himself often considered a member of the weasel family) brought him to Audrey's Salon. Alas, newly-minted co-managers of the Salon, David and Maria, couldn't agree on the aesthetics of some deranged taxidermist's chef d'oeuvre.

So, bottom line, Maria chucks the weasel into a dumpster (skip). End of. Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone etc. etc.

Yes, things are off to a rocky start at the 'under-new-management Salon' but, closer to home, Maria has bigger problems to deal with as her son, Liam, is embroiled in the school bullying situation. 

As you recall, that moronic waste-of-space named Mason (with his band of brainless stooges) is bullying Dylan, and most recently took his running shoes (trainers). 

A complaint from Dylan's Dad (Sean) to the school head results in a search which reveals the trainers in Liam's locker. The shoes were planted there by thug-in-training Mason but a fearful Liam takes the heat. Gary, as is his wont, wades in and tries to warn off Mason but that only makes things worse for Liam and he is threatened by Mason who is armed with a knife.

As it stands, things look pretty dire for both Liam and Dylan.

Elsewhere, the burning question is: whither the Rovers?

Will the storied house of hotpots be turned into modestly priced flats? Or will Glenda and her friends rally to save the drinking establishment?

So far the prospects don't look good. One potential buyer meets with Ed and Ronnie to discuss redevelopment plans but Ronnie (perhaps because of a pang of conscience) sabotages the deal. 

Amy is playing with fire as she turns the tables on a would-be rapist at a sketchy nightclub. Amy spots the scumbag spiking her drink and cleverly swaps her (drugged) drink for his. As the drink-spiker staggers around, Amy phones Aadi who helps her transport the drugged perv to hospital (better than Amy's original plan to dump him in the middle of nowhere). 

However, DC Swain is on the case (sort of) and follows up on the scumbag's complaint that he was drugged by Amy. Things took bad for Amy until Dee Dee shows up as her lawyer. When police discover other complaints against the would-be rapist, Amy is released.

The harrowing experience brings Aadi and Amy together but Amy remains traumatized by her recent experience with Aaron and recoils from Aadi's kiss. Aadi interprets that as Amy wanting to remain just mates. Not necessarily what Amy had in mind.

In other developments, Ronnie and Ed's Dad is coming to visit. Ronnie doesn't mind. Ed isn't super keen. Also, Ed seems to be gambling again although he is managing to hide his relapse... so far.

Carla succeeds in tempting Beth and Sean back to Underworld but she has to offer them cash incentives to get them back to work. Nina is jealous of Asha's relationship with her mentor, Isla. Simon seems to be hanging around buying a pallet of junk which he thinks he can resell. Good luck with that.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Steve wonders if he can shed his jumpsuit for some nookie but Tracy disabuses him:
"That onesie is staying on"
(phew!)

Texting-challenged Gayle: What does IDK mean anyway?
Gary: I Don't Know.
Gail: Well who does then?

Gail assures Audrey that she's not like Stephen:
"Well I'm quite normal. Boring even"
(Really?)

David asks for Steve's opinion about Vin Diesel:
"What's your take on stuffed animals?"
(no comment)

Audrey to David and Maria:
"Like it or not Van Diesel is gone"
(Vin to his friends)
 
Peter says he's not keen on Carla's vegetarian cooking:
"Not auberge parma thingy"
(but it's one of Jamie Oliver's favourites)

Gary tells Maria about his encounter with Mason:
"I just told him to stay away in a slightly scary voice"
(FYI, it didn't work)
 
***
Well fellow Kabin Cronies, so ends another week. I do hope someone can end the tyranny of that obnoxious ogre Mason and allow Liam and Dylan to attend school in peace.  And could there be some hope for the Rovers before it becomes a block of flats? Guess we'll find out. Thanks so much for stopping by and have a great week. Cheers!
 

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