your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...
I must say Tracy and Tommy Orpington seem to be getting on like a yard house on fire.
How did one of Weatherfield County's star footballers wind up painting houses? You might well ask.
Seems that Tommy's post-football (soccer) career has left him cash poor. A bad investment in a burger restaurant and a costly divorce have left the Beckhamesque legend with no choice but to take on decorating jobs.
Steve was supposed to do some redecorating for Tracy but he is (according to Tracy) a WOS (Waste of Space) and heading off to Paris to see Emma. Tracy thus hired the fit footballer to take on the job.
Steve is mega-disappointed since he idolizes Tommy O. and Tommy's trio of gormless admirers/stalkers (Tim, Kev & Kirk) are eager to be pals with the legend. However, Tracy manages to keep the fans at bay while, at the same time, getting along famously with Tommy. Could they be developing a a 'pitch' perfect relationship? Is Steve getting a red card? Let's ask VAR...
Speaking of getting on like a house on fire, the builders yard caught fire while Ed was camped out there. This after bailiffs came to his house looking for debt repayment. Michael was outraged (again) and although Ed managed to satisfy the bailiffs by giving them his tools and equipment, he had nowhere to go except the yard. The heater in the year caught fire and the yard was engulfed in flames. Michael thought that Ed was in the yard office and charged in to rescue him. However Ed wasn't in the yard at the time but nearby, heard his son's cries for help, and managed to rescue Michael who was taken to the Coronation Street Wing of Weatherfield General Hospital to recover.
Their reconciliation was short-lived when the coppers began investigating the cause of the fire. Michael became convinced that Ed set the fire deliberately to claim insurance money.
Seems that Ed did know the yard was on fire but decided to get some chips - rather than do anything about it. When Dee Dee finds out, she is disgusted. Also, Aggie is finally informed (by phone) about what's going on and wants nothing more to do with Ed.
Meanwhile, Bernie decides to take Paul and Gemma on an overnight trip in a battered RV. Things don't go well as the Winnebago gets stuck in a field and the threesome spend an uncomfortable night - not just because of the RV but also because Bernie and Gemma find out about Paul's assisted dying plan.
Once the trio returns (with the assistance of a rugby team that pushes the RV out of the mud and then falls flat on their collective face), another problem arises. Bernie complains about Paul's carer (Moses) and Moses is then suspended. Nice one, Bernie! Now Paul faces the loss of Moses who says he's planning to move to London.
Bethany seems to spend all her time parked at the cafe or the Rovers, taking up space while trying to pitch a story to her editor. Daniel tells Bethany that she's welcome to move into his flat. Daisy remains cheesed off with Bethany and Daniel.
Simon is similarly cheesed off and manages to get fired from Underworld. He is temporarily elated at the prospect of joining his Dad on board the SS Minnow (somewhere on the ocean) but the offer is rescinded and Simon resumes his alcohol-based, surly disposition.
And now for some lines from the week that was:
Tracy to Steve re: how to treat the great Tommy Orpington:
"Do you want me to wash his brushes and all?"
(are we talking about painting?)
"It'll be a good while before I'm dipping my four inches"
(are we still talking about painting?)
Dee Dee to Ed re: the police investigation of the fire:
"That Craig Tinker is a clown"
(he does have rather big shoes)
Billy explains his back injury to Paul:
"I was doing the bump"
(don't tell the archbishop... unless he's into disco)
Paul to Billy in the hospital:
"We'll have our own wing in here soon"
(The Coronation Street Wing)
Tracy to Steve re: Tommy Orpington taking over Steve's painting job:
"He's replacing you"
(not really that hard to do)
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