Sunday, November 3, 2024

Coronation Street Catch Up: the lying, thieving scumbag edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


So Joel is dead and found floating in the river.
 
But he didn't drown but rather was conked on the head with a blunt object.
 
Semi-competent detectives Swain and Kit seem to think it was a crowbar (couldn't it have been another blunt object like a hammer or a rock or a hotpot? Just asking).
 
As you may recall it is Long Tall Kit who is leading the investigation while Detective Swain remains sidelined but keenly interested. Suspect number one is bad boy and part-time guyliner, Mason. His no-good brothers tried to coerce Mason into doing a robbery and equipped him with a (you guessed it)  crowbar. Mason declined and got rid of the crowbar but was caught by Kit who just happened to be hanging around the garbage bins.
 
Mason says he's innocent although flashbacks reveal that he was angry when Betsy told him how Joel threatened and assaulted her. So I guess he had a motive.
 
But wait! There's also Ronnie and Ed. The Laurel and Hardyesque twosome decided to dispense some street justice which led the bungling brothers to break into Joel's flat with (you guessed it again)... a crowbar. Although no-one has sussed the twosome's antics, Debbie is suspicious of Ronnie's activities.
 
Elsewhere it seems that neither David nor Sarah are fans of Jesse who seems to be getting mighty comfortable with Gail. Now Sarah suspects Jesse might have taken Damon's stash of cash (apparently Jesse overheard Adam talking to Daniel about the location of the cash).
 
Meanwhile David is not impressed with Jesse and his smarmy style and the fact that Gail is selling the family home (Carla and Ryan have already had an open house visit - even though there was no open house).

Elsewhere, Stu suddenly decides that he is going to do his own 'Brexit' and breaks up with Yasmeen and moves to Germany. Achtung Baby! That was unexpected and fast. 

Sam makes an ill-fated attempt to reunite Nick and Leanne. While shucking oysters for a surprise romantic dinner for his Dad and Step Mum, Sam cuts his hand and is taken to hospital by Asha. The incident prompts Leanne and Nick to come to a sort of entente cordiale and Leanne subsequently wants Nick to move into the flat, while she moves out solo and Toyah... well, I guess she's going to have to find a place of her own.

Lauren is pleased to know that baby Frankie will soon be released from the hospital but is apprehensive about her ability to take care of a newborn. Bobby offers moral support as does Max but, hold on, is there something going on between Max and Lauren? Bobby is still carrying a torch for Lauren so this could become a messy situation...

Gemma is stressed and grieving (after Paul's death) and off work. Chesney is working all hours (at minimum wage, 'natch) but, as usual, the family is skint and Joseph wants to go on a pricey school ski trip (oh, for goodness sake, just ask the rich grandma (Linda) to pay for the trip).

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

David to Sarah re: Damon:
"He was a lying, thieving scumbag"
(and those were his good points)

Jesse to David:
"I'm finding you a tad hostile"
(that's like saying the Titanic had a bit of ship trouble)

Ed to Ronnie after they broke into Joel's flat with a crowbar:
"This was a stupid idea"
(ya' think?)
 
Gail re: David and Sarah's low opinion of her love life
"They're self righteous know-it-alls"
(yes, but they're got a point)

Ruby to Evelyn re: Hope whose vape started a fire in the house:
"I thought she wasn't a pyromaniac anymore"
(I guess she fell off the wagon) 
 
***
Well, fellow hot pot hombres, so ends another week. I guess the Joel investigation will drag on for a while. Maybe they should consider handing the case over to Scott and Bailey, or Rosemary and Thyme. Just a thought. Have a great week and thanks for the pleasure of your company here at the Hip.
 

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