Coronation Street Catch Up: the ice wife edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Looks like the Coronation Street Wing of Weatherfield General Hospital is filling up once again as Gary and Kit are occupying beds (although Lauren has been discharged so that frees up a room just in case any other Corrie residents are assaulted, stabbed, drugged etc).

 

But back to Gary. 

 

We finally discover that Gary (who was MIA for a while) is recovering from nasty injuries at the Weatherfield Hospital. A mystery visitor appears constantly at his bedside. The nurses call her 'Gemma" and believe that Gary's name is 'Chesney'. 

 

What gives? 

 

Seems it's all a ruse concocted by Lu. Lu tried to blackmail Gary for cash (which she desperately needs). Gary refused and so Lu slugged him and, after Gary was taken to hospital, Lu somehow convinced the nurses that the patient's name was Chesney and that she (Lu) was named Gemma (what? no medicare card verification?)

 

It's a big mystery until Maria figures out that Lu is hiding the truth and the whole charade unravels quickly. Now Lu is behind bars and Maria is in a snit because Gary lied to her about Lu's attempt at seduction and blackmail. 

 

And what of Lu's better (not so much) half?

 

Mick is in jail (after killing poor Craigie) but engineers his exit from incarceration via the prison laundry (motto: we offer one hour Martinizing and escape). 

 

Mick's half-baked plan is to gather together his family and, I guess, scarper to greener pastures. Brody (former son of Mick and now biological son of Kit) is tasked with gathering together the family but Sally is with Joanie and the two hide on the roof of Underworld as Mick frantically searches for them.

 

Kit tracks down Mick at Underworld but, during a struggle on the catwalk, Mick stabs Kit. It ends with a standoff between Mick and Sally on the roof of the factory. Sally bravely convinces Mick to back down.  Kit is taken to hospital and seems to be recovering until he takes a turn for the worse and is rushed into the operating room.

 

Phew!

 

Elsewhere, Kev has decided that it's a good idea to lie about his cancer and tells everyone that the chemo didn't work. This is a ploy to try to ensure that Abi doesn't leave him.  Tyrone soon rumbles Kev's deception and insists that Kevin tell Abi the truth, but Kev declines as Abi has booked a romantic getaway and Kev doesn't wanted to spoil things by revealing his deception.

 

Over at Ed's place, James is still angry with Dee Dee for her secret christening of Laila. Meanwhile Dee Dee meets a charming (ish) stranger in the Rovers and they seem to get on quite nicely.

 

And, finally, it looks like Daniel may be once again working at Weatherfield High School as he has an interview for a teaching job (briefly interrupted by Mick rampaging through the school). Oh, and why did Lily lock Sam out of a classroom while Mick was terrorizing the school kids? Nick wants to know.

 

And now for a (very) few lines from a rather dark and humourless week that was:  

 

Kevin's sister thinks that her health problems should be secondary to Kev's health:

"Debbie does dementia can wait"

(maybe cut down on the white wine though)  

Gary to Maria re: the hospital staff:

"They think I'm Chesney"

(Maybe that's why they asked you for free kebabs?) 

Mick discovers Tim's contact name for Sally:

"Ice wife"

(Tim insists ICE stands for 'In Case of Emergency') 

 

***

Well, fellow cobble comrades, so ends another week. It seems that the past week was more like 'Scott and Bailey' and less like Coronation Street. I wonder if Mick and Lou's kids will become regular cast members now that both parents are in jail. Hmm. Thanks so much for spending your quality time here at the Hip. Have a great week and all the best!

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Bloomin' Lovely edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Do you get the feeling that Theo's rug is screwed on a bit too tight?

 

He does seem to be a bit of a head case. Not to mention his demon daughter, Milli Vanilli Silli. Young Millie is feigning pregnancy but is then caught out by Todd who tries to help. But Millisima then tells her Dad that Todd took her out for a quick abortion. 

 

This time, Theo doesn't fall for Millie's lies and (once again) makes up with Todd but then threatens James and tells him to stay away from Todd. One might come to the conclusion that Todd is better off without Theo.

 

Elsewhere, Nina, Summer and Lauren are all suffering from the after effects of the drug they took (Summer and Nina intentionally, Lauren by accident). Lauren is in the hospital recovering from her drug- induced nightmare. Nina believes she assaulted a man while under the influence of the narcotic.

 

Nina finally goes to the police with her story but detective Kit can find no record of anyone who was assaulted and drops the case. Over at the hospital, a guilt-ravaged Aadi visits Lauren and tries to comfort her but doesn't tell her the truth about how she came to ingest a dangerous narcotic.

 

More grief for Aadi at home as Bernie has invited Brody to stay at Dev's house. Bernie is intent on fostering a relationship with her grandson after revealing to all and sundry that Kit is the real father of Brody. It was also Bernie who stuck her oar in and encouraged Aadi to let loose and have a party. 

 

Meanwhile there is grave concern over Gary's prolonged disappearance.

 

Maria is out of her mind with worry and she goes to the police. Kit (are there any other coppers working?) takes on the case. An unidentified coma patient at Weatherfield General turns out not to be Gary.

 

However Gary is in a hospital somewhere with serious injuries and Lu is at his bedside. What gives? I guess we'll find out more in due time.

 

In leg over news, Steve and Cassie are getting it on and Tracy is not happy and so is squeezing Steve for an ownership share in Streetcars as part of her divorce settlement. 

 

Elsewhere Ronnie and Debbie are back together. However, that other Webster (Kevin) is not so happy. He now has some strong suspicions about Carl and Abi (is Carl really that hard to resist?) - and even though his cancer is in remission, Kev tells Abi that the cancer hasn't responded to treatment - perhaps as a lever to cement their relationship (but that's just a guess, I'm no therapist). 

 

Speaking of therapy, D.S. Swain is going to her mandatory session but is being rather uncooperative. Hmm. What does that mean?

 

And Dee Dee decides to take Laila for a secret christening (against James' wishes). However James finds out (afterwards) and is livid. 

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was: 

 

Tracy to Bernie re: Billy:

"He's got quite a temper for a man of the cloth"

(they call him the 'raging reverend')

 

Tracy (again) to Bernie: 

"I hear you're the local drug lord"

(they say her purse is a dime bag)

Carl's text to Abi:

"How do I get to know you better"

(check her LinkedIn page) 

Steve's new name for Preston's Petals if he becomes owner:

"Bloomin' Lovely"

(Bloomin' awful) 

Dee Dee to Billy.

"I'd love for you to christen Laila" 

(in an undisclosed location of course)

 

Lu tells Brody that biological paternity isn't a big deal:

"What do a couple of different genes matter?"

(yes, you could have pair of Levis and a pair of Wranglers) 

***

Well, faithful followers, so ends another week. It's good to be back and thanks for stopping by. Have a great week, 

Coronation Street Catch Up... will return next week

 Hi faithful followers,

 

Thanks for tuning in (again).

The blog returns (if all goes well) next Sunday.

Till then, as always, have a great week! 

 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Kristin Squat Thomas edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Well, the truth finally comes out.

 

Kristin Squat Thomas is a man?

No, not that.

 

Bernie knows a lot about magic mushrooms?

No, not that either.

 

Debbie admits to friends and family that she has vascular dementia.

Yes. 

 

After acting a bit strangely (i.e. violently lambasting Brody for underage drinking, lashing out at Bernie, and passing out at Speed Dal), Debbie can hide the truth about her condition no longer and finally agrees to let Abi take her to the hospital.

 

This happens just after Debbie overhears Carl putting the move (again) on Abi but Debs insists she didn't see or hear anything because of her fainting episode.

 

Meanwhile, over at Todd's place, the ongoing soap opera with Theo continues. Their on again, off again relationship is now off again as Theo's manipulative daughter (Millie) tries to drive a wedge between her Dad and Todd.

 

Over at Roy's Caf, Brody manages to annoy D.S. Swain to the point where she arrests him for (and I believe this is the legal term), "irritation with intent to aggravate". While in a jail cell, Brody suffers a seizure and Swain takes some heat for her actions and is subsequently disciplined and instructed to see a therapist.

 

Meanwhile, Brody's Mum is busy trying to snog Gary, leaving her kids with Tim and Sally and then getting a visit from social services after Sally and Tim report her for child neglect. 

 

But there's a silver lining for Lu after her arch enemy (Maria) gets arrested for assault after a tussle with Lu resulting in Lu falling onto David's Ikea glass-topped table (I blame the pictograms and that tiny Hex Key).

 

But let's not dwell on the minutiae when the big story is Drag Night at the Rovers with the award-avoiding star performer named Kristin Squat Thomas. Seems like her brand of vaudeville one-liners is quite popular with the punters except for Ronnie who just wanted a quiet drink and (I guess) assumed that Drag Night would be a mellow evening of reflection and prayer.

 

Back on the Street, Dee Dee can't help but be more involved with her baby as she volunteers to help James in the care of Laila. At the same time, thanks to encouragement from Daniel, Dee Dee does an  interview on Amy's radio show and describes her terrible hospital experience which resulted in an emergency hysterectomy.

Aadi seems to be successfully boring Summer and Amy with his explanation of spreadsheets (Really Aadi! Tell me less).

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Debbie to Bernie re: Brody:

"What a nasty little reprobate"

(True)

Carl to Abi:

"How was the drag night?"

(like Cage aux Folles without the production values) 

Bernie recounts her 'foraging' exploits to Summer and Amy:

"I used to love going out there and sniffing out a puffball or something more mind bending"

(...while listening to Dark Side of the Moon no doubt) 

Debbie panics before her big event:

"There's 40 librarians showing up here in a minute"

(or so I have read...)

 

Debbie to family and friends at Speed Dal:

"I've got dementia"

(finally, a moment of truth) 

 

Words of wisdom from Kristin Squat Thomas:

"I'm bisexual: if I can't get it, I buy it"

(ahem) 

Asha to Billy and Theo:

"It's a drag show not a TED talk"

(TED talks are generally less flamboyant)

 

Debbie to Brody and his underage friend:

"I've got bras that are older than you"

(thank you for your service)

 

***

Well fellow Drag Night Devotees, so ends another week. Just a heads-up for regular readers. Please note that I'll be out of range of Coronation Street next week (and no, it's not because I'll be taking a flight on Jeff Bezos' penis-shaped rocket) so I will be unable to offer my regular feeble commentary on Sunday, July 13.  Fear not (or fear greatly), the blog will resume on July 20th. Till than, have a great couple of weeks! 

Coronation Street Catch Up: the burning plastic and coconut edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

  

Farewell Eileen!

 

To a chorus of Street Cars drivers honking their horns in a royal tribute (Perhaps Handel's Music for the Royal Fireworks?), the long-serving Siren of the Switch, Countess of the Cab Office and Baroness of the Biscuit Tin departed with Jason for the good life in Thailand.

 

Sadly George was left behind as the couple parted ways in one of those "it's not you, it's me" break ups. George is left to mope and bring down the vibe at the Rovers while Glenda tells him to cheer up. 

 

George's partner in pity (Todd) thinks that his relationship with Theo is doomed as Theo is constantly preoccupied with his daughter Millie who says she's pregnant and needs her Dad's support and attention.  

 

A different kind of farewell is taking place at the Bistro where there is a memorial for PC Craig Tinker, killed in the line of duty by Mick. Kit is supposed to deliver the eulogy but goes missing (maybe drafted by the NBA?) and so Lisa is obliged to pay tribute to Craigie. 

 

Somewhat surprisingly, Mick's wife, Lou, shows up to (she says) pay her respects. Maria is not pleased but Gary seems to have a sympathetic view of Lou and her circumstances, on her own with three kids and little income. 

 

The situation is exacerbated when Lou shows up at David's carbon-based barbecue (burnt offerings for everyone!) and Maria catches Lou dipping into Shona's purse in search of money. Lou decides not to take the money (which belongs to the Salon) but too late. Maria assumes the worst and a struggle ensues which results in Lou falling on David's new glass coffee table (and I don't think Ikea gives refunds for broken merchandise).

 

To add to Lou's woes, Brody has a seizure and Kit intervenes to help the lad. Brody doesn't know why Kit keeps hanging around and complains about police harassment.

 

Meanwhile Betsy rifles through Lisa's private documents and finds a letter that raises questions about the death of her Mum (Becky). To get answers, Betsy enlists the support of Lauren and the two visit Logan Radcliffe in prison. Logan (as you recall) is the brother of Mason who was harassed and stabbed by his two odious older brothers (Matty and Logan) and subsequently died.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

 

Glenda congratulates Audrey on her hair styling prowess:

"Best blow in Weatherfield"

(Yikes! That line could so easily have gone sideways) 

Todd describes the perfume of George's new aftershave: 

"Burning plastic and coconut"

(with just a hint of sulfur) 

Sally brags to Tim about her household flair:

"How many people do you know that fold their toilet paper into a triangle?"

(hard to do with those big round rolls)

Eileen tries to explain something to Steve and Tim:

"Do I have to spell it out to the hard of thinking?"

(use phonetics please)

Mary to Eileen, who is leaving Weatherfield:

"George will stay here in the cold and the rain burying dead people"

(well, when you put it like that...) 

Brody describes to Lisa the cop who is harassing him:

"You know, that lanky git"

(say no more) 

Carla to Swain:

"If you have to have an epitaph, normal, boring and happy is a good one"

(just ask Brian) 

 

***

Well, fellow Bistro buddies, so ends another week. It didn't take very long for the Platts to repair and renovate their house and David did a nice job putting together all that Ikea furniture. Too bad about his prized glass top coffee table. 

 

Thanks so much for spending time here at the Hip. Always delighted to welcome fellow Corrie fans. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!

Coronation Street Catch Up: The Embalming Horror at local undertakers edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

Well, it's official.

Jason Grimshaw has set a Coronation Street Olympic record for the fastest legover after setting foot in Weatherfield.

Yes, the returning 'Lad Thai' no sooner makes his reappearance on the scene than he gets jiggy with Theo's wife, Danielle, and gets caught (post-flagrante) by a crowd at Eileen's house. Seems he and Danielle had it off on Mary's bed (don't worry, he washed the sheets afterwards).

Todd is livid. Theo is rather sanguine about it all. Danielle is momentarily pleased to give Theo a taste of his own medicine. It's all rather awkward but nice to see that, despite his Thailand problems, Jason hasn't lost his mojo.

Jason hasn't lost his sense of adventure either. He wants Eileen to come with him to Thailand to invest in a bar (or maybe it's a restaurant) and enjoy life in a Thai paradise. George gets wind of the plan and decides that he will come along too (can you wear a suit in Phuket?) However George soon realizes that his plan is not realistic. He's not really keen on giving up his business and, more to the point, Eileen doesn't love him.

The Todd/Theo relationship continues on its rocky road when Theo's daughter (Millie) decides to park herself at Eileen's house (great, another person at that house!) 

Elsewhere, Sally's lips are super-pursed when she finds out Tim is meeting a social worker to discuss fostering. Sally had already voiced her opposition (can you blame her after raising Rosie?) and she is mad that Tim went behind her back but now she seems to be warming to the idea.

Looks like Mick has pleaded 'not guilty' to the charges of killing a police officer (Craig). Speaking of Mick, his son (Brody) seems to be out and about at the same time as Dylan has served his time at the STC and is also out and about. It seems that Dylan has become something of a 'hard man' as he reads Brody the riot act and also tells his Dad (Sean) that he's not interested in returning to school.

Carl is continuing to use Kev's garage as a base to issue fake MOTs and one aggrieved punter shows up to complain. While tending to his crooked business, Carl continues to make overtures to Abi and the two narrowly avoid a lip-lock which was interrupted by news of poor old Kev fainting during chemo.

And now a few lines from the week that was:

Abi to Carl:

"I think you should go back to Germany"

(schnell!) 

George finally names a Thai dish after being challenged by Eileen

"Pad Thai!"

(I thought he was going to say 'pork scratchins') 

Glenda to Brian after seeing Jason for the first time:

"Is it wrong to have sexual thoughts at a wake?"

(yes) 

 

Mary and Brian desecrate the song by Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers while doing Karaoke at Julie's wake:

"Islands in the Stream"

(sounds more like "Islands in the Scream") 

Headline in the Weatherfield Gazette:

"Embalming horror at local undertakers"

(it's a fluid situation) 

Sally wonders what Tim is up to:

"This is all a rather obvious attempt to get me frisky"

(not this time) 

 

Danielle explains her afternoon delight to Jason, Todd, Eileen and Theo:

"Two birds, one bonk"

(say no more) 

***

Well, fellow Weatherfield Watchers, so ends another week. The hockey playoffs are over so it's back to our regularly scheduled Corrie. Thanks for stopping by and do have a great week.  

Coronation Street Catch Up: the Prosecco doesn't stain edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

 

Here's a handy way to assess any male on Coronation Street:

If Sarah is dating him, he's probably a badun.

 

Case in point: Kit.

 

I think, by now, we all know that our dear Kit is not exactly a shining example of integrity in the police force. He arranges for inmates to assault Mick who is being held in prison for the assault and subsequent death of Craig Tinker.

 

Kit is unrepentant as he believes Mick deserves a beating and Kit also wants Mick out of the picture so he can have unfettered access to Brody (who may be Kit's son) and even Lou. 

 

Meanwhile Brody smashes up Kit's flat as payback for Kit arresting Mick. When Brody is arrested and then quickly released, he starts to get suspicious and wants to know what Kit is up to and why Bernie is going out of her way to help him.

 

At the same time, Lou is busy getting fired and then rehired (thanks to Gary's intervention) by Maria at the salon 

But back to the late P.C. Tinker. 

 

Among the Street residents, Kirk is perhaps most affected as he is grief stricken and also blames Chesney and Gemma for not saying or doing anything about Mick even though they knew he was a violent and dangerous man. 

 

Then there's D.S. Swain who is also profoundly affected by the loss of a fellow officer. In her vulnerable and emotional state, Lisa asks Carla to marry her and Carla is taken aback. She's not against the idea but doesn't think it's the right time. (Tip: don't wait too long or Peter might come back and have it off with Lisa and Carla at the same time - and before you call me crazy, remember... he's got form).   

Speaking of death, it's Julie's funeral which is quite um.. non traditional. During a lively celebration in the Rovers, Bombastic Brian decides it's a great time to confront Eileen about the fact that Julie named Eileen as the beneficiary of a life insurance policy. Yes, what an outrage for a sister to leave an inheritance to her closest relative! 

 

Eileen is definitely at a low ebb and George doesn't seem to be able to do or say anything right including proposing marriage to Eileen which is immediately upstaged by the surprise arrival of her son, Jason (with a tan). 

 

Over at the Chariot Square Hotel, Ronnie is crying into his beer and getting some aggro from Carl. On the rebound from Deb's rejection, Ronnie takes up with the long-legged Fiona, a scam artist from his past. Ronnie agrees to help her rip off some poor punter with the sale of a clunker auto. Ronnie can't go through with it and decides to break off his business relationship with Fiona.

 

However, Carl takes the opportunity to take Ronnie's place as Fiona's scam associate and promptly begins using Kev's garage as a base for issuing fake MOTs in order to sell dodgy cars. Abi is suspicious.

 

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

    

Brody wants to know why Kit is bugging him:

"Shouldn't you be out arresting someone for using the wrong pronoun?"

(whom or who would you suggest?) 

Bernie to Sarah:

"I've got more skeletons in my closet than caftans"

(that must limit your wardrobe choices)

Sarah wants Kit to tell the truth:

"Are you going to break my heart?"

(Is the Pope Catholic?)

Todd to Eileen re: George: 

"He's got a face like a wet blanket"

(you're not helping George's case) 

Carla wonders if Lisa has told her boss after learning that Mick's attack was an inside job orchestrated by Kit:

"Have you told Costello?"

(Lou or Elvis?) 

Mary to Tracy after Tracy gets doused with a glass of booze from Eileen:

"Lucky for you Prosecco doesn't stain"

(that's too bad)

Jason to the assembled crowd in the pub:

"The Rover returns"

(Good one)

 

Glenda does a pub survey with Ronnie:

"Are the bogs to your satisfaction?"  

(maybe put more pot pourri in the Gents?)

Lou's description of her ex-boss at Audrey's: 

"Maria, patron saint of salons"

(Hail Mary, full of product) 

Deb to Ryan:

"Would you describe me as fit?"

(no comment)

Fiona Longlegs to Ronnie:

"I bet you could sell water to a drowning man"

(depends on the water) 

***

Well, fellow Weatherfield watchers, so ends another week. Thanks, as always, for dropping by and spending time here at the Hip. Have a great week!