pet sounds

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the January 19 episode on CBC

Well, we've heard an awful lot lately from the people on Coronation Street, but what about the pets? I bet they'd have some choice words for us, if only they could talk...

Leanne (the rabbit, not the Battersby) : "Thank God Simon knows how to use a cellphone (with Peter around, we should really put all emergency services on speed dial). And thank God for that cute new fella from the factory. If he hadn't come back for the 'wabbit' during the fire, I would have ended up as an entree at Roy's caf. I thought I was a goner, stuck in that cage in that mingy flat. And no thanks to that big chain-smoking, drunk lummox who occasionally sticks a carrot in my cage -- but spends most of the time putting empty bottles in a cupboard and passing out.


Eccles (Blanche's dog) : Hey, don't look at me. I'm not the one lying to the lovely Martha and it's not my fault I fell into the canal. And, I'll tell you another thing. I like walks as much as the next dog but hey, these six-hour outings to the barge are wearing me out. After all, my legs are only a few inches long. And it's dull as kibble on that boat. There's nothing to do except watch Kenny boy sip vino and wax lyrical about books. Hey, how about throwing me a bone once in a while? What am I supposed to eat? Homemade leek and potato soup? Well, I guess it won't be a problem now that you've come clean and shipped out, eh Kenny? Although that line about 'rockin' the boat' was a good one. Anyway, I still feel we have a unique bond, you dog, you.

Schmeichel (Chesney's Dog): Yeah, I guess Chesney has been skipping school but, on the plus side, he has more free time to take me to the Red Rec for walks. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go hump Norris' leg.