Thursday, September 23, 2010

Rosie's list

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Sept 22 episode on CBC

Oh Rosie! How could you? Telling another whopper just to squeeze more dosh out of hapless John Stape. Bill Webster was ready to clock him one. Kev almost got put inside again for aggravated assault. Sally called the police. Sophie's underwater baptism almost got rescheduled (*pending pool availability during house league water polo finals - ed). And where did you come up with £50,000 anyway? What's that you say? You have a price list?  What on earth do you mean by a 'price list'?

£50,000... or I'll tell everyone that John Stape assaulted me

£30,000... or I'll tell everyone that John Stape tried to touch me

£20,000... or I'll tell everyone that John Stape scratched my new car and stole my handbag

£9,000...   or I'll tell everyone that John Stape 'perved' me (translation: leered or made suggestive comments)

£500.50... or I'll tell everyone that John Stape kissed Carla and I have a poor quality video on my cellphone which I accidentally erased

£105.66... or I'll tell everyone that John Stape forced me to listen to excerpts from John Milton's 'Samson Agonistes'

£78.99... or I'll tell everyone John Stape put whole milk in my skinny latte. (Yeah, I said whole milk!)

£9.02...  or I'll tell everyone that John Stape has never consulted the Oxford English Dictionary - which I believe is some kind of book.

***
Thanks for the comment. Pistols at dawn? Yikes, sounds a little early for me. I think I'd prefer nerf guns at 11.30ish. Cheers.

1 comment:

  1. I guess you probably know, but in case not, today (Canada)'s episode of Corrie (Britain) announced that Maggie Jones had died yesterday, so the waiting is over and we won't be seeing Blanche on our screens again. Sad.

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