Tony Gordon, It's Friday: the speed dating edition

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the April 14 episode on CBC

An astute reader has alerted me to the fact that speed dating may not new to Coronation Street and that Rita may have been involved in a previous speed dating storyline a while ago. Either I have erased that information from my subconscious due to emotional trauma, or I forgot, or was away from my Coronation Street provider (aka TV) when this happened. In any event, thanks for the info. Sadly the speed dating is over and all we have left is the mating ritual of Michelle and Ciaran, whose tattoos seem destined to become one magnificent tapestry of indelible ink. But I digress... let's get to TGIF, our weekly round-up of some memorable lines from the week. Allez!

Tina makes an odd confession to Graeme:
"the strange thing about working with Norris all day is I’m actually starting to like him."
(oh,no, I think that's what they call 'Stockholm Syndrome')


Charlotte reports to John Stape the info from Colin Fishwick's Facebook page:
"He said he was missing his friends and finding Canada quite austere"
(He already thinks Canada's austere ? Just wait until winter...)


Charlotte tells Fiz she knows all about John Stape's impersonation of Colin Fishwick:
"If John needs help with his secret identity, you must call me."
(Help with his secret identity? He's a teacher, not the Green Lantern)


Graeme practices his patter with Ashley before speed dating:
"My name is a mere label given to me by my parents when I was simply a blank page"
(you mean like one of those warning labels which says: 'May cause blindness. Avoid contact with skin, eyes, mouth and clothing'?)


Graeme offers to provide Tina with some meat from the shop:
"I can slip you a bit of brisket if you're desperate?"
(no comment)


John reassures Fiz that the identity theft is working fine:
"...with the exception of Charlotte, everything’s going really well"
(That's like saying, with the exception of the war, 1939 was a great year)


Lewis tells Audrey that he's trying to mend fences between her and Deirdre:
"Deirdre and I really hit it off this morning."
(Oh, oh. You don't happen to have a barge parked along the canal, do you?)


Ken pops into the Kabin:
"Oh, hi, Rita. Have you got any magazines about serial killers?"
(what happened to 'Nice weather, we're having' ?)


Rosie tells Fiz that Charlotte is a slapper:
"She gets very busy on a Sunday, if you know what I mean."
(this from someone who parades around half-naked on roller skates dispensing vodka shots to leering drunks)


Peter responds to Leanne's insults:
"first I’m wassock, now I’m a pillock"
(at least you're moving up in the alphabet)


Charlotte warns Michelle as she passes by:
"Hey, don’t snag me pashmina"
(I've heard that can be quite painful)

***

Well, fellow Corrie lovers, another week has gone by and all we have to show for it is David Platt chained to a radiator (good job, Graeme, by the way). Thanks for stopping by and for your comments.  I hope you have a great weekend and enjoy the omnibus show on Sunday morning. Cheers and I'll meet you here next week.