Friday, May 13, 2011

Tony Gordon It's Friday: the toy boy edition

Well, Corrie lovers, it is a speech that will go in the annals (watch the language -ed) of history as one of the best, champagne-fueled declarations ever delivered in the Rovers. A veritable 'Ich bin ein escort' or 'ask not what Lewis can do for you, but what you can do for Lewis' . I'm talking about Audrey Roberts' spirited treatise on toy boys. What better way to introduce this week's edition of TGIF, your round-up of memorable Corrie lines. Here we go:

Charlotte tries to seduce John Stape:
"I'll even call you Colin if you like" (... and tell him he needs to be spanked with a limp pashmina?)

Eileen compares her dull life to Audrey Roberts':
"A 70 year old is having a 100 times better life than I am"
(That makes 7,000 on the boy-toy enjoyment scale)

Audrey makes a stand in the Rovers about her relationship with Lewis:
"Yes, okay, Lewis was a gigolo and yes, okay I used to pay him by the hour."
(..and yes, okay, we used to dress up as Bo-Peep and a naughty sheep in the bedroom)

Even Emily has an opinion about Lewis and Audrey:
"Audrey's one of the few women I know who really suits a boy toy"
(Her favourite movie is 'Boy Toy Story')

Rita chides Norris for complaining about having to go to the washroom at an inopportune time:
"The entire world plans itself around your bodily functions"
(yes I hear the Royal Wedding was delayed for two hours)

Ryan gets testy with Sophie and Sian
"Can you read her mind now? Is that a Lesbian thing?"
(yes, it comes with the membership card)

Audrey enumerates Gail's string of bad husbands:
"A murderer followed by a suicidal, drug addict."
(and those were the good ones...)

Gail's riposte to Audrey at full volume in the Rovers:
"I think you've topped that nicely mother by asking a male prostitute to move in with you."
(um... anyone for more champagne or a sausage roll?)

Audrey concludes her speech in the Rovers:
"Yes I may be 70 but my life is just beginning"
(I hear 70 is the new 50... quid an hour)

Well that's it for another week as we watch Lewis and Audrey sail off into the sunset -- at least for one or two nights. Yes, I know Gail is upset but, as Audrey sagely points out, she's had more nuts than a squirrel in autumn. Ah well. Enjoy the weekend and the omnibus episodes and thanks, as always, for dropping by and visiting Blanche's Polish Hip. Cheers!


  1. Lots of great one liners on the Street last week! I just finished watching the first 8 episodes of Corrie, I quite enjoyed them - loved Ena Sharples!

  2. Hi and thanks for the comment. I agree that there were just too many good one liners from last week (in sharp contrast with the previous week). Glad that you liked the first episodes of Corrie, some say that dear Ena was the forerunner of Blanche but Ena Sharples had a great foil (Minnie Walker) who was fabulous in her own way. Cheers, CH