Coronation Street Catch Up: the Charlotte Brontë (no, not that one) edition

your one-stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...


Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: It didn't... because that Ghastly Geoff killed it.

Someone, please! Report Geoff to the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the Weatherfield Police, and the British Magical Society (in that order).

For those who didn't have the um... "stomach".. to see it last week,  Grotesque Geoff reached new heights of low behaviour as he punished poor Yasmeen for an unacceptable supper - by killing Yasmeen's favourite chicken. But that's not all, The magician monster then - horror of horrors - served it to her for dinner. Geez. He's so twisted he makes Lord of the Flies look like Love Actually.

And what of the poor chicken? Poor Charlotte Bronte (may she rest in peace... one might say she lived a good life until she ran of... um...cluck.).

But this is not the time for bad levity. Something must be done about Geoff and so far, the only person who seems to have an inkling is Alya who is rightly concerned about her Gran.

The Bronte story seems to have all but eclipsed the other big news of the week: preparations for Adam and Sarah's wedding. The Hen Do (at the Rovers) and the Stag (at Speed Daal) proceed according to plan until Sarah discovers that Bethany is planning to move to London to take that magazine internship... but, hold on, Daniel and Bertie are going with her!  Sarah promptly busts in on Adam's stag do to give Daniel a piece of her mind.

BTW, seems Adam knew about this but didn't tell Sarah so the resulting aggro puts the kibosh on plans to get bladdered, although the twosome seem to kiss and make up on the wedding day.

Daniel continues his hedonistic lifestyle, drinking a lot, romancing Bethany, depositing Sinead's clothes in bin bags in front of Beth's door only to have the sentimental togs accidentally thrown in the trash. For God's sake, wake up, man! Focus your energies on Bertie, rather than your own prurient desires.

Suspense at the Barlow's as Adam engineers a blind bid submission process to solve the fight over Ken's house. It seems that Carla and Peter deceived Tracy into bidding much higher than necessary for the house. Steve is apoplectic but Ken is happy to see Tracy buy the house (especially over the asking price).

Abi and Kev reconcile after Abi reveals that Sex Pest Ray tried a fake indecent proposal scheme and she was willing to sleep with the Weinsteinian Worm in order to protect Kev. Meanwhile Kev agrees to sell the garage to Repugnant Ray who is blackmailing him with incriminating video of Abi stealing his car.

Gemma takes her babies to yoga class (at Speed Daal? What gives?) but her so-called friends seem to be laughing at her, not with her. Jade shows up at the garage and requests to see Hope again. Fiz is not keen.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Abi to Sally after a night of drinking:
"Now if you'll excuse I'm going to go and vomit"

(such good manners!)

Ken to Adam re: the unsealing of the offers on his house:
"I want a sober adjudication of bids"

(are you kidding? Sober? On Coronation Street?)

Liz at Sarah's Hen Do:
"I like muscular men"

(I didn't know you were so particular)

Geoff to Yasmeen after he's served her favourite chicken as dinner:
"I'd like to raise a toast to Charlotte"

(don't you mean a "roast")

A horrified Yasmeen to Geoff:
"You killed Charlotte Bronte and then you made me eat her"

(thank God she was able to finish Jane Eyre)

Yasmeen again to Geoff:
"It wasn't nature that killed her, it was you"

(Dare I say, it was a case of "fowl" play)

***

Well, Bistro Buddies, so ends another week. I can't take much more of this Geoff fellow. He makes my skin crawl. I hope Alya can do something. I guess next week will be the wedding of Adam and Sarah. I hope all goes well and there are no ugly surprises or shocking revelations but it is, after all, Corrie so anything can happen.  

Do stay safe, wash your hands and all that other good stuff, and thanks for spending some time here at the Hip. We love your company and wish you a safe and happy week.