Coronation Street Catch Up: the Crouching Tiger, Hidden Flagon edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

I think Joseph might go down in the Guinness Book of Records as the youngest person on Corrie to utter the immortal phrase: "My head's all over the place."

It happens because Joseph is torn between staying in the overcrowded Quad Squad house where holey shoes are de rigueur, or moving to sunny Portugal with Glam Gran Linda.

Joseph tells Ches and Gemma that he's keen to go off with his Gran but Ches discovers that Joseph is just saying that because he thinks one less sprog will make life easier at home. Thanks to Hope, Ches discovers the truth and makes one of those patented mad dashes to the airport to reclaim Joseph and send Linda back to the land of Sangria and sun.

Elsewhere, you know things are bad on the Corrie relationship barometer when clothes are flung out the window onto the Street. That's what Sarah is doing now that the devilish Lydia has convinced her that Adam was having a raging affair behind Sarah's back.

Adam, of course, does exactly what you shouldn't do. He promptly goes over to Lydia's flat to have a chin wag, although I'm not sure what that's supposed to achieve. However, the ever artful Lydia trashes her own apartment before letting Adam in and then calls the police who arrest Adam. Well played. 

Abi is in a bad way. Kev and Jack are vacationing somewhere in an unmarked camper van and sending messages to Deb to pass along to Abi saying that she should leave the house with her belongings pronto. This because Abi confessed to Kev that she was unfaithful. Toyah wants to help Abi (rather aggressively) and Imran is very nervous and hoping that his one-night leg over with Abi is not revealed.

Emma is quite taken with Jon, grandson of the late Ted. Despite the objections of Faye and Craig, she decides to keep seeing Jon.

Sam reads a book about chess and challenges Roy to a match but loses. Cathy and Brian return from Cornwall. Brian would like to move there but Cathy prefers to stay in Weatherfield.

And now for some lines from the week that was: 

Sarah to Adam as she throws his clothes out the window and onto the Street
"I'm spring cleaning"
(ever heard of a Swiffer?)

Sarah accuses Adam of having a secret second phone:
"The phone was ringing in your socks"
(because he's a heel?)

Brian is not happy to be staying put:
"Let's wither and die in Weatherfield"
(That's what most people do)

Joseph decides to stay with Ches and Gemma after all:
"Can we have cheese on toast when we get in?"

(would you settle for just toast? (money's tight right now))

Hope to Joseph:
"I would literally kill my own sister if I could live in Portugal"

(I don't like the sound of that)

Daisy describes one of Newton & Ridley's new ales:
"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Flagon"

(I prefer 'Through the Glass Darkly')

Sarah to Lydia:

"Shut your mouth, your legs and the door on your way out"

(would you settle for two out of three?)

***

Well, cobble colleagues, so ends another week. For a lawyer, Adam doesn't seem to be acting in a particularly smart way. And, now that he's arrested, who's going to be his lawyer (hopefully not him).

Thanks for stopping by and apologies for the late post.