Coronation Street Catch Up: the Rumpy Pumpy edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street..

Has former drug dealer Jacob turned over a new leaf?

All signs (so far) seem to suggest that he has forsaken his low life, lifestyle in favour of a more mature and law-abiding persona, and he just happens to be Amy's current boyfriend.

And there's the rub.

No-one on the Street is very happy about this blossoming romance, least of all Steve. Things get really heated when it is discovered that Amy passed out unconscious after her drink was spiked with GHB. Amy is rushed to hospital and all suspicion falls on Jacob (given his track record) . Steve is especially incensed by the fact that Amy is consorting with a former drug dealer. He slugs Jacob. Amy is horrified.

Meanwhile Simon, who was victimized by Jacob's drug dealing activities, calls the cops because Jacob furnished Asha and Adi with fake IDs (so they could go clubbing with Amy). The net result is that Amy can't take all the stress and aggro so she breaks up with Jacob and is gutted.

One person who hasn't turned over a new leaf is Lydia. She seems intent on weaving a web of lies to make it look like Adam still carries a torch (flashlight?) for her. Her complicated revenge plan includes racking up oysters and champagne on Adam's hotel room tab. Sarah, none the wiser, thinks Lydia is conflicted because she's dating a married man.  Only Carla seems to be the one raising an eyebrow (although admittedly it's hard to tell).

Daniel and Daisy seem to be taking their relationship to the next level (or, as Daniel would say, beyond the "prologue"). Daniel however is still racked with guilt about pushing Max down the stairs (sort of) after Max trashed his flat. Daniel fully intends to tell the truth so that Max won't be expelled but  then discovers that the school isn't intending on expelling Max anyway (so, never mind)..

Speaking of Platts, when David learns that Amy's drink was spiked during a school dance, he tells Daniel that he wants the school to take action.

Ches, Gemma and Bernie have a surprise visitor. Joseph's grandmother shows up and wants to know all about her grandson. She doesn't know about Joseph's faux kidnaping exploit (at least not yet).

Chez Tim, Elaine and Sally continue to butt heads over Tim's recovery following his triple bypass surgery. Elaine decides to take online medical courses in order to gain more expertise in caring for her son. Sally would like to see Elaine leave.

Kelly still hasn't told Gary and Maria that she is frequently visiting her Mom in order to take care of Laura as she deals with her illness. 

And now for some lines from the week that was:

Steve tells Jacob he doesn't want to see him anywhere near Amy:

"You're trash" 

(care to expand?)

Amy to Steve:

"Do you know what a platitude is?"

(No, but I'm sure everything will be fine)

Daisy to Daniel:

"Are you seduceable? 

(Did Milton write Paradise Lost?)

Steve assures Bernie that he's able to physically deal with Jacob:
"There's death in these hands"

(or at least a wedgie)

David to Max:
"Most people find me hilarious"

(he's the Jerry Seinfeld of Weatherfield)

Elaine tells Sally she's aware of married couple relations: 
"I know you have needs and urges"

(most of them involve role play)

Sally tells Elaine she's aware of Tim's rehab constraints:
"I know we can't have rumpy pumpy for weeks"

(I believe 'rumpy pumpy' is a medical term)

***

Well, fellow Coronation Street Cobbleros, so ends another week. I like the new Jacob, but is he for real? I guess we'll find out. Thanks for your company here at the Hip and have a great week!