windasstute

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Sept 29 episode on CBC

I might as well get this out in the open (you're attracted to Graeme in drag? - ed). Here goes: the Windasses are starting to grow on me (I think there's a lotion you can buy for that - ed). Not necessarily Uncle Len whom I haven't actually seen in quite a while, nor Eddie who is, let's face it, a type 'A' skiver and amateur scammer.

I'm more interested in Anna and Gary. Gary, in particular, seems to be much more attractive than virtually any other young adult on the Street. Yes, he's a chancer with a temper, a bad boy who's already been inside and is now set on signing up for military service. But he is also bright, conflicted and quite articulate. I don't think I've ever heard anyone on Coronation Street sum up the plight of young working class men so astutely. Here's what he has to say about the future awaiting him and most of his peers:

"Half the lads I was at school with ain’t got jobs. Them that have, hate ‘em and you know what they do? They get off their heads every chance they get. If I stay around here, I'll just be like them....I've been to prison. I've got no qualifications. The army will give me a chance. Yeah, it’s risky but what’s left for me?"

On the other side of the coin, Anna is just as eloquent as a Mum who doesn't want to see her son sent to fight in some far away war and possibly die:

"Kill people, get yourself killed? I'd rather you were on the dole...Gary, they want you to fight, that’s the only trade they want you to learn."

I think this conflict is really tempering the Windass legacy, transforming them from skiving caricatures to real people and, as I say, I'm starting to like them. In fact, I'm almost wishing that Gary changes his mind and stays on the Street. Whatever his faults and failings, he and Anna make a nice change from the endless trials and tribulations of Gail and David Platt.

Battle of the bad pickup lines

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 19 episode on CBC

Well, I'm glad Fiz's nuptials (keep it clean -ed) in the nick worked out. I now pronounce you "Mr & Mrs. Stape". Has a certain ring to it (like a bathtub - ed). You may kiss the guard...er bride. etc etc. But let's talk about something different and by that I mean the cornucopia of bad pickup lines from Graeme Proctor, 'garden doctor' and Gary Windass, 'sprung from the slammer and ready to yammer'. Admittedly, standards are not typically high on the Street but these guys are plumbing Olympic depths (lower, slower, lamer - ed). They're both pretty bad but who is worse? There's only one way to find out: the battle of the bad pickup lines. Are you ready? Let's start round one:

ROUND ONE

Graeme (to Natasha): "(You) Could have had a sex change. Do you want to go with me?"

Gary (to Michelle): "How's about a smile for starters?"

(Round One goes to Graeme. but they're both in fighting form. Let's move on...)

ROUND TWO

Graeme: "So what do you say? You and me?"

Gary: "I've always had a thing for brunettes and all"

(OOh, another close one. This one goes to Gary)

ROUND THREE:

Graeme: "Of all the pavements in all the worlds... have you let one off?"

Gary: "I say that you've kept yourself in pretty good nick considering that you've, uh, dropped a sprog and all that."

Another close round, but, well, asking someone if they passed wind as a prelude to an amorous overture? That's the worst pickup line I've ever heard. The judges have made it unanimous. Graeme wins.