Ashley Peacock speaks French

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the August 10 episode on CBC

Poor Ashley! Harpy-esque Claire and her Mother are pressuring Coronation Street's finest butcher into moving to France. Claire's mom, Yvonne, has already purchased a nice little mansion in Brittany and there's a charming cafe and charcuterie nearby. The grand plan is to move the whole family over. Claire would become Mme Peacock. (er.. you mean PoisCoq, I believe - ed) and Ashley would become a boucher.

It's a tough pillule to swallow and Ashley is not too - how you say - heureux. He prefers warm beer and cold winters. What to do? Maybe a little dictionary of handy phrases would help the transition:

Betty's Hot Pot = Le ChaudPot de Betty
Footie  = Le Piedie
Michelle Connor = Oh la la
Pint of Bitter = Une pinte d'amere
David Platt = Le diable
chips = French fries, bien sur
Slapper = Mlle Webster
Existentialism =  comme ci, comme ca
Full English = Croissant, cafe et gauloises
Nice bit of steak = Un beau morceau de bifteck
Your mother is getting on my nerves = Ta mere m'enerve
Pork scratchings = non, merci

Bon voyage, Ash !