Ashley Peacock speaks French

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the August 10 episode on CBC

Poor Ashley! Harpy-esque Claire and her Mother are pressuring Coronation Street's finest butcher into moving to France. Claire's mom, Yvonne, has already purchased a nice little mansion in Brittany and there's a charming cafe and charcuterie nearby. The grand plan is to move the whole family over. Claire would become Mme Peacock. (er.. you mean PoisCoq, I believe - ed) and Ashley would become a boucher.

It's a tough pillule to swallow and Ashley is not too - how you say - heureux. He prefers warm beer and cold winters. What to do? Maybe a little dictionary of handy phrases would help the transition:

Betty's Hot Pot = Le ChaudPot de Betty
Footie  = Le Piedie
Michelle Connor = Oh la la
Pint of Bitter = Une pinte d'amere
David Platt = Le diable
chips = French fries, bien sur
Slapper = Mlle Webster
Existentialism =  comme ci, comme ca
Full English = Croissant, cafe et gauloises
Nice bit of steak = Un beau morceau de bifteck
Your mother is getting on my nerves = Ta mere m'enerve
Pork scratchings = non, merci

Bon voyage, Ash !

Pickles & ostrich hot pot

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 2 episode on CBC

Two culinary concoctions are being prepared on Coronation Street. At the Duckworth's (now Tyrone and Molly's house), Auntie Pam is re-packaging pickles that she bought at an auction into jars which she apparently 'recycled' from the garbage. Sounds yummy. Pam is a bit of an oddball. She appeared, deus ex machina (that's enough Latin - ed), in the Rovers one day and now seems to be a fixture at the home of Molly and Tyrone. She's not quite endearing and not quite funny, but maybe it just takes time to appreciate her qualities and, besides, Jack needs someone to talk to besides his pigeons.

Meanwhile, at the home of the kebab king, Jerry's ex-wife is busy with her own cooking methods. The lovely Teresa was shunted aside briefly when Ashley brought over the ingredients for a delicious ostrich hot pot. Sounds yummy again. The poker-faced Teresa was clearly chagrined at Ashley's intervention. That's because she has her own recipe for ostrich hot pot. I don't know the specifics, but I'm guessing it goes something like this:

Teresa's Ostrich Hot Pot
1 pound ostrich meat. cubed
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
4 carrots, chopped
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
2 large potatoes, diced
2 tablets Jerry's heart medicine
1 large onion, diced
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
4 cups broth

Directions: Mix together, cook in medium oven for 1-2 hours, serve and kill Jerry