Don`t you think it`s a bit rich for Lewis to be all hurt and aggrieved? Yes, Gail did set a ham-handed trap to suss out his true intentions, but really, that's nothing compared with Sir Lewis of Scam's track record. Audrey managed to forgive the erstwhile gigolo for: trying to steal money from her, bilking Peter Barlow, using Deirdre as a human lip gloss, running off to the Caribbean with a woman he met at an airport bar, going AWOL from a train and accumulated con man debts of 10,000 quid. So where does he get off with this righteous indignation?
Anyway, enough about Lord Lewis Archer, Prince of Perfidy, let's take a refreshing dip in some of the memorable lines of the week in the award-avoiding weekly segment we call 'Tony Gordon, It's Friday':
Ken complains to Deirdre about the silent treatment he's getting because of Wendy Flaming Crozier:
"It's hard for one to concentrate when one is in the doghouse"
(one should know that by now, Ken, shouldn't one?)
Gloria tells Lewis she is putting on a brave face despite a mysterious terminal illness:
"I'm making the most of the time I've got left"
Gloria tells Lewis she is putting on a brave face despite a mysterious terminal illness:
"I'm making the most of the time I've got left"
(about 20 or 30 years)
Deirdre confronts Wendy about Ken's night chez Crozier:
"Tell us the tale of the governor's sleepover"
(well, once upon a time there was this sexy septuagenarian...)
"Last time I saw you, you were a home breaking cow"
(yes, but she's moo-ved on)
Tracy sums up Ken's behaviour:
"You're a lecherous ol perv, Dad"
Tracy sums up Ken's behaviour:
"You're a lecherous ol perv, Dad"
(no disrespect and, oh, can you look after Amy tonight?)
"If the Rovers Return were a lullaby, we'd all be asleep"
(or in a coma with a 'do not resuscitate' sign)
Wendy insists that ken was pursuing her:
"He held a torch for me like the Statue of Liberty"
(Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning for a legover)
Stella's nemesis from the Weathy Arms extols her virtues:
"My pipes are as clean as a whistle"
"My pipes are as clean as a whistle"
(yes, but what about the pub?)
Ken tells Wendy she's ruined his reputation:
"Haven't you heard? I'm a predatory sex pest"
(Yes, but a predatory sex pest with integrity)
Wendy is confident that Ken still fancies her:
"It's just a matter of time before you're back in my bed again"
Wendy is confident that Ken still fancies her:
"It's just a matter of time before you're back in my bed again"
(I wouldn't put it in your daytimer just yet)
Wendy finally apologizes for false accusations against Ken:
"I'm sorry to have turned bunny boiler"
(Bunny Boiler? Is that a new character? Sounds like a friend of Beth)
Lewis takes pleasure in Gloria's misfortune:
"You're an out of control buffoon"
(yes, but you're an aging Lothario, so let's call it even)
***
Well, comrades in Corrie, looks like we're reached the end of another week. Love, hate, spite, deceit ... and physiotherapy. What more could you ask for? Have a great weekend and I'll be back next week.
Cheers!
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