Coronation Street Catch Up: the Eurotart edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

It's Coronation Street's version of Newton's Third Law of Motion: for every person sent to prison, there is an equal and opposite person released from prison.

So, we find that Gary Windass has been set free, while poor Faye gets sent down for three years for her ill-advised assault on Adam with a hospitality award. Craig wants to resign from the police rather then end his relationship with a felon (i.e. Faye), but Faye insists that he continue his career and that they cease all communication until she gets out of jail.

Speaking of assaults, I never approve of violence but I secretly enjoyed Aadi's well-placed punch to the nose of the Corey, aka 'Toe Rag of the Year'. This comes as Corey is "at it" with Asha upstairs at Chez Dev. What brazen impudence! And isn't that Corey fella supposed to be in the Weatherfield County football academy? Where does he find time to train between slanging dirt at Aadi and manipulating Asha? 

Speaking of slanging, Ty and Fiz are doing a lot of arguing and fighting in the aftermath of Ty's departure from the familial homestead. Unfortunately, Hope overhears the aggro and the next thing you know, Hope takes a whack at poor young Joseph (son of Ches). This just as Ty and Alina are off to the Loews Legover hotel.

On the Goth front, although Seb has a budding romance with Nina, Nina happens to overhear the conversation in the builder's yard as Ed and Paul make fun of Goths. Nina is not amused.

Great news! Rita is back. Not so great news! Sharon is back. Sharon is perhaps the least lovable of Rita's quasi-daughters as she was gifted the Kabin by Reet and then turned around and sold it, only to have Rita buy it back.

Anyhoo, Jenny and Gemma are suspicious of Sharon and her motives for returning to Coronation Street. 

Over at Yasmeen's, Cathy remains in hiding despite Brian's pleas for her to come home. Cathy also seems to be taking up her old hobby: hoarding. Not great for Yasmeen and Elaine.

More news! Peter and Carla get married (again). It's a lovely ceremony marred only by Peter's face plant as he gets out of the bridal limo. But not to worry, a new liver appears to be on its way (via Amazon Prime, no doubt). 

And now for a few lines from the week that was: 

Cathy to Yasmeen and Elaine:

"I feel like we're the new Golden Girls"

(Cathy is becoming Yasmeen's hoarder boarder)

Bernie summarizes the Ty/Fiz breakup for Toyah:
"This mid-life muppet went bananas over a Eurotart"

(and she arrived via the Eurotunnel)

Tracy explains the floral delivery for Peter's big day to Abi and Mary:
"Peter's either getting wed or dropping dead. Either way he's gonna need flowers"

(what a touching and poetic sentiment!)

Carla wants Peter to stop yakking and start oathing:
"Just marry me, you great idiot"

(I think she's quoting from William and Kate's wedding vows)

Abi to Seb re: his Goth look:
"I'm ringing Chester Zoo cause I think a panda's escaped"

("press '1' for bears, press '2' for reptiles, press '3' for more options")

Peter argues with Carla over snack classifications:
"Define crisps"

(In Canada: chips)

***

Well, fellow Corrie Citizens, so ends another week. Lovely to see Rita back.  And then there's Gary. Hmm. Oh well. You can't win 'em all. Lovely to have your company once again. Hope you have a great week and let's meet here again after another week of Coronation Street. Cheers!