Coronation Street Catch Up: the Leaning Tower of Pizza edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

 

Against all odds (and despite Joel's best evil efforts) Lauren has had her baby.

Possible names: Joel Junior? Billy Joel? Jolene?

None of the above. 

Lauren has chosen the name Francis for her tiny, preemie baby. Let's hope baby Francis thrives and is healthy. 

Meanwhile, evil Joel is all verklempt because (he says) his grandfather's name was Francis. As the father of Lauren's baby, perhaps he is conflicted. Not too conflicted though as he did try to kill the baby by slipping a labour inducing drug into Lauren's soup. 

When Lauren went into labour, it was Max who happened to find her (the front door of her flat was locked from the outside by Joel) and got the fire department to break down the door and rescue Lauren who was able to get to the hospital and deliver her baby who is now in an incubator.

Yes, Joel is a busy boy these days as he lies constantly in order to keep his secret hidden from Dee Dee while trying to keep Lauren from telling anyone about his grooming, assault and paternity. 

D.S. Swain asks Lauren to let them test the baby's DNA in order to confirm the guilt of Nathan (falsely implicated by Lauren as instructed by Joel). Lauren refuses and so Swain asks Joel to try to convince Lauren to agree to a DNA test.

If that wasn't enough, Joel now has Betsy (daughter of D.S. Swain) trying to extort 1,000 pounds in order to stay quiet about Joel's penchant for luring young girls.

In other headline news, Kev tries to take the blame for the firebombing of Stefan's car and office but his confession is quickly dismissed when Jack decides to step up and confess. As Jack prepares for a trial, Hope is quite attracted to his bad boy image and quickly breaks up with Sam in order to pursue her new love interest. She even equips herself with a brace of condoms after a consultation with Dr. Gaddas. When Fiz and Ty find out they are horrified.

On a lesser scale of horror is Beth's secret stitching cartel with Betsy and Izzy. Together, the nocturnal numpties are making knockoff designer t-shirts at the factory at night. When the scheme is discovered, Beth is fired by Carla. Craig is horrified but Kit (unbeknownst to Craig) decides to let the bogus t-shirt dealer (i.e Beth's customer) off the hook in exchange for 50% of the retail sales. What gives? Is Kit a crooked cop or does he have something even more sinister up his sleeve?

Over at Speed Dal, Stu feels sorry for Mason and gives him a job. As you may imagine, this does not go down well with Sean, Dylan, Gary or Liam. 

Elsewhere Nick is dragging his feet on giving 20K to Altovalent and Leanne is annoyed. Meanwhile Nick accompanies Toyah to the hospital to support her as she gets her cancer diagnosis from her doctor.

And, last but not least, Fiz runs into Alina who has a photo of a baby on her phone. Hmm...

And now for some lines from the week that was:

Kirk asserts his vast knowledge of Italian landmarks to Fiz and Maria:

"It's the Leaning Tower of Pizza. Everyone knows that"

(Hold the anchovies... or it might tip over)

Dee Dee to Joel:

"I know you better than you think"

(if only that were true)

Hope to Sam:

"I think we should see other people"

(it's not you... it's her)

Hope to Sam re: the reason for the breakup:

"I'm looking for someone a little tougher around the edges"

(Mason?)

Beth thinks Craig and Kit are over-reacting to her illegal t-shirt business:

"Bring back hanging"

(don't give them ideas)

Kit re: Beth's shoddy knockoff t-shirts:

"The only crime here is the thread count"

(does he work for the police or the Linen Chest?)

Hope to Ty and Fiz re: her relationship with Jack:

"There is chemistry"

(and maybe a Bunsen Burner...)

 

Ruby reflects on Hope and Jack's budding romance:

"They're going to start fires together"

(and live happily ever after... in juvy)

***

Well, fellow Swain Skeptics, so ends another week and the police are no closer to figuring out what really happened to Lauren. Of course, Kit and Craig are far too busy cracking a ruthless, illegal t-shirt cartel. Meanwhile Swain seems to be constantly one step behind in her investigation although, to be fair, she's got Betsy to contend with. Oh well. Thanks so much for stopping by and I do hope you have a great week.