your irreverent update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...
Another week, another murder.
Is this Coronation Street or CSI Weatherfield?
Lisa Swain certainly has her hands full as just about everyone on the Street needs to be questioned about something. The latest crime? It starts after Tim's cousin, Richie, shows up out of the blue and shares his marriage woes with Tim.
After spending a couple of nights on the Webster sofa (and putting a crimp in Sally and Tim's 'Afternoon Delight'), Tim encourages Richie to work out his marital problems. The next thing you know, Tim visits Richie's house only to find Richie's wife dead.
I know what you're thinking. Did Tim and Richie call Gary's apres-murder service?
No.
Instead, Richie was arrested at the scene. Tim is shocked and blames himself. Richie's daughter, Lucy, arrives Chez Sally. Lucy is not pleased at all to be there and demands to see her Dad.
Speaking of Gary, there's bad news for Mr. Windass. You've heard the famous phrase, "we're going to Disneyworld!" Well that doesn't apply here because Gary and Maria's family trip to Florida is off and Jake and Liam are super cheesed off. It all kicks off after Gary confesses to his involvement in the Theo murder cover-up. But don't worry, Gary has hired Adam to be his lawyer (just don't ask Megan for a reference - she gave him one star on Yelp).
So is this good news for Sarah and Kit?
Not so much. Sarah decides to end her relationship with Kit. A prison break up? It's a double whammy. Not only is your girlfriend a murderer but she's giving you the, "it's not you, it's me" routine. Ouch! Now that Kit's on the rebound, Jodie tries to step in but Kit's not interested... so far.
Alya has decided that she wants to devote herself full-time to law (I believe she graduated from the Red Rec Faculty of Law). That means Alya is selling her share of Speed Dal to the highest bidder but Idris is ensuring that any interested buyers are scared off with his intimidation tactics. Idris also seems to be getting chummy with Sam much to Nick's chagrin (or is that constipation? It's hard to tell).
Over at Ty and Fiz's place, Ross continues to make himself comfortable although Fiz continues to have her suspicions about his involvement with Cassie's disappearance.
And now for some lines from the week that was:
Fellow inmate describes Sarah as a:
"stuck-up, skinny, wannabe Cheshire wife"
(I hear Cheshire's lovely this time of year)
Sally (who didn't know Richie was there) to Tim:
"So my sexy Spartan warrior..."
(you'll have to be more specific)
Lisa Swain to Gary:
"Gary, why are you here?"
(for the sparkling conversation?)
Gary to Lisa:
"To tell the truth"
(another Coronation Street first)
Swain to Maria:
"Hardly a keeper, your guy"
(yes, but there's slim pickings on the Street)
Sarah to Kit:
"It's over"
(but... but he was looking forward to conjugal visits)
Kit shares his break-up news with Tim:
"She's handed me my P45"
(So you're out of work as well as single?)
Gary to Maria:
"The S word"
(Shifty? Sneaky?)
***
Well fellow Rovers regulars, so ends another week. Not sure why we have to endure another murder so soon after the demise of Theo. Looks like Lisa Swain will be working overtime on multiple investigations. At least Adam will be gainfully employed for a while. Thanks for the pleasure of your company and have a great week.
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