Friday, July 4, 2014

8 Simple Rules for Coronation Street funerals

please note this post makes reference to the July 3 episode on CBC

According to the OECD (not really, the real source is here - ed) , there have been 160 deaths on Coronation Street. Most deaths are followed by a funeral and most funerals follow a strict set of rules and traditions established over the years. Here are the 8 Simple Rules for Coronation Street funerals:

1. Archie Shuttleworth must be Coronation Street's preferred FSP (funeral service provider).

2. Everyone must gather in front of Rovers to wait for the hearse or coffin carrying vehicle

3. Norris must attend every funeral for gossip purposes and have a primo seat in the church - unless there is more important breaking gossip elsewhere, or he can't find a replacement to mind the shop.

4. Someone, preferably evil, must come into the church late.

5. The congregation must turn their heads in unison when the latecomer enters the church

6. It must all kick off after the minister's introductory remarks, but before the service concludes. (preferably during or after the eulogy).

7. The minister must unsuccessfully try to restore order and calm

8. All post-funeral receptions must take place at the Rovers. Catering must comprise booze and sarnies - no exception.


  1. You left off the rule that requires several extras that we've never seen before or since, much like those at all weddings.

  2. Of course! How could I forget the unnamed extras? I believe they also make an appearance at the factory on special occasions. Thanks for the comment and all the best.