Coronation Street Catch Up: the dead man's crutch edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

First he pushed poor ol' Ken down the stairs (about five years ago) and now Daniel has added Max to his list of stair shoving victims.

The incident was precipitated by the fact that, while speaking to Max, Daniel inadvertently (and indirectly) referenced David's rape. This led to David having to tell Max the whole sordid story of his sexual assault. Max was incensed by Daniel's insensitivity and, in a fit of anger, trashed Daniel's apartment. Daniel interrupted Max in the middle of the apartment trashing and pushed him out the door, where Max tripped over a bag and fell down the stairs. 

Max was taken to the Coronation Street Wing of Weatherfield General Hospital and (apart from a broken arm and concussion) is okay. However, a copper then shows up at Daniel's place and informs him that Max has accused him of assault. 

Speaking of coppers, Craig has turned in his badge (I guess before the Line of Duty anti-corruption squad move in on him). This comes as a result of Craig deciding to help Faye and Gemma keep their ill-advised cover-up intact following the death of pensioner Ted. Craig helps the dotty duo by going over to Ted's apartment and removing a false fingernail of Faye's from the kitchen sink (DIY hint to Craig: next time use a bucket of a small container to catch the water after you unscrew the trap).

Anyway, long story longer, Craig cannot in good conscience continue to be a police officer after he has subverted the course of justice (really?). He resigns and as (what can only be) a self-inflicted punishment, decides to seek out a new career in knicker packing. 

The truth about Joseph's fake disappearance finally comes out and Bernie is vindicated (sort of). But not before Dev casts her asunder with a few choice words. When the truth comes out about Hope's mastermind scheme, Dev tries to apologize but Bernie is not assuaged by flowers and chocolates.

Tim is on the mend after his triple bypass and back home on the couch. Elaine has decided to move in and "help" with Tim's recovery and equips Tim with a bell to be used to summon assistance (a la Downton Abbey). Sally's perpetual pursed-lip expression indicates that she's not keen on the arrangement, especially when Elaine recommends separate beds for the couple.

Asha decides to go to Glasgow to find out more about the University despite reservations about Nina's fragile emotional state. Nina pretends that it's fine with her but her bravado masks her continuing anxiety.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Audrey refuses to enter the Kabin due to her ongoing feud with Rita:

"I don't want to be bumping into that harridan who lives in the flat upstairs"

(who's Harridan? I thought Rita lived upstairs)

Bernie rejects Dev's apology:

"You can shove your flowers and chocolate where the sun don't shine"

(that could be anywhere in Weatherfield)

Elaine insists that she can help Sally look after Tim:
"Use me. I'm an asset"

(a pain in the asset according to Sal)

Despite evidence to the contrary, Fiz continues to believe that Hope is doing better:
"There hasn't been a fire for months"

(yes, apparently arson stats are way down).

Craig to Emma and Faye after discovering the truth about Ted:
"I have been limping around on a dead man's crutch"

(better than limping around on a live man's crutch)

Daniel to Daisy re: Lydia:
"She's very strident"

(that's one word for her)

Bernie describes Hope to Gemma:
"Proper little Midwich Cuckoo"

(impressive that Bernie is familiar with the works of John Wyndham)

***

Well, post-Olympic punters, so ends another week. The CBC TV schedule has returned to normal and we can return to our old viewing habits. The way things are going, I'm not sure that Daniel will be getting a staff job at his school any time soon. Maybe he can join Craig in the knicker packing division of Underworld, under the supervision of Kirkie? Thanks so much for spending time here at the Hip and have a great week.