Coronation Street Catch Up: the smiling assassin edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Poor Elsie!

Just a few lines, some lovely smiles and now she's leaving (I presume) since Toyah's chances of  adopting the youngster have been dashed in the wake of the revelation that Imran played away, had a baby with Abi and did a whole lot of lying.

Toyah is crushed. Abi feels guilty. Imran says he's sorry and consoles himself by hanging around the hospital and doting on baby Alfie.

Speaking of babies (or lack thereof), it appears that Faye's pregnancy is a false alarm. It's a disappointment to Faye and Craig. Speaking of Craig, seems he's back on the police force. And speaking of police, Emma's secret boyfriend finally comes face-to-face with Craig whom he recognizes (despite Craig's best efforts to sing a Shirley Bassey song - don't ask). Finally the truth comes out about Faye, Emma and Ted's unfortunate death.  

Upon reflection, Jon (Ted's grandson) decides not to go to the police with the information so the tepid threesome are in the clear. And, as a bonus, Emma and Jon are now planning to move to Australia.

Fiz and Ty both seem to have mixed feelings about the fact that Fiz and the kids are moving away from the Street into Phill's new fancy house. This after Ty agrees to reduce the price of the house after Fiz's real estate agent (a cross between Sean Tully and Ricky Gervais) explains that the market for post-sinkhole houses is not very attractive at the moment.

Over at Gary and Maria's flat, Kelly steadfastly refuses to visit her dying Mom who is now being transferred to a hospice with only a few weeks or days to live.

Junior Chess master Sam is playing in the first annual Bistro chess championship (BYOB - Bring your own Bishop). Nick continues to be a super mithering parent fretting over the pernicious consequences of playing a quiet board game. Sam however seems to be doing just fine but faces an experienced champ in the final.

And now a few lines from the week that was:

Kirk ruminates about fancy fittings in Fiz's new house:
"I wonder if Dido's got a dado"
(I wonder if Bono has a Bonsai)

Nick to Sam:
"You're like a mini Roy"

(That's high praise!)

Chess parent to Nick re: the chess tournament shark.
"We call her the 'smiling assassin' "

('Smiley', for short)

Emma to Craig and Faye re the death of Ted:
"We are not manslaughterers"

(Hmm, never heard that term on 'Law and Order')

Emma tries to break up with Jon:
"I'm scared of koalas to be honest"

(yes, you could get cuddled to death)

Abi tries to apologize to Kev:
"This is what I do to people I love"

(Yikes! What do you do to people you hate?)

Nick to Sam:
"Have you been playing chess behind my back?"

(That kind of behaviour leads straight to juvy, young man)

***

Well, Chippie Chaps, so ends another week. The main takeaway is the annual ritual which some call "the playoffs" and others call the "Corrie displacement". Either way, our regular evening Coronation Street timeslot makes way for the hockey playoffs and Coronation Street moves to the afternoon for the next few weeks. Please check your local TV listings for the correct broadcast time. Thanks for the pleasure of your company. Have a great week!