Coronation Street Catch Up: the budgie smugglers edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

So serial killer Richard Hillman's rampage could have been due to sexual inadequacy?

That's the theory offered by Gail Platt as she runs through a quick sexual performance analysis of her many former partners (BTW, Brian and Martin were reportedly tigers in the sack).

Gail provides this info while talking to Sally about Tim's problem. This follows Sally's disastrous romantic getaway where Tim pops some mail-order Viagra-esque pills and is consequently rushed to hospital. He's fine but told he should have consulted his doctor about how best to deal with his Erectile Dysfunction.

Meanwhile Sally is not at all amused by Tim's foolish behaviour and the fact that he did not keep his appointment with Dr. Gaddas.

Over at the naming ceremony, Toyah and Imran are celebrating the arrival of Baby Alfie. Abi shows up and suspiciously doesn't cause any trouble. Then Toyah lets Abi take Alfie for a stroll around the Red Rec. Suspiciously Abi doesn't do a runner but returns, all sweetness and light-ish. What's she up to? Well, it seems like she's getting some fake passports made so, you do the math.

All this comes after professional snoop Ben declines to tell the truth about stitching up Abi and instead takes a job with Imran (as payoff) and maintains his story about Abi buying drugs. So, with no other recourse available, Abi seems to be concocting an escape plan - with Alfie.

The internecine war of the Barlows seems to winding down slowly as Ken resumes relations with Daniel and even Amy doesn't want Tracy to keep up her war against Daniel. All this as Daniel prepares to apply for a full time teaching job at Weatherfield High. 

Ex-Weathy High student Max begins his studies at the Pupil Referral Unit where dissolute, trouble making young students are educated. Max seems to like the new place.

It had to happen. Fiz and Phill are out for a nice meal with Phill's friends when Fiz is identified by these "friends" as the former wife of killer John Stape. After that, the sordid story is the topic du jour at the factory much to Fiz's dismay. Ty lends his support to Fiz and ol' Phill seems very gracious about the whole thing and the Stape history (which he knew about anyway) doesn't seem to bother him. But there appears to be more here than meets the eye, Phill-wise. What's going on? 

Peter is still determined to make Dr. Thorne pay for his sins and solicits Aggie's help. Aggie is not keen but reluctantly agrees to help and puts Peter in touch with a colleague who has some info about Thorne's past misdeeds.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

Kirk overshares with Tim who is at the medical centre for an appointment about his ED:
"I've got a fungus"

(congratulations?)

Evelyn to Ty who is sulking about Fiz's new life:
"You're all pouty pigeon"

(because Fiz has flown the coop)

Sally invites Tim to join her in the hot tub:
"Go and get your budgie smugglers on"

(...only if the budgies are ok with that)

Tracy to David re: the Pupil Referral Unit:
"It's where they ship off the dregs of society"

(so.. like the Dog and Gun pub?)

Sally gives the doctor a quick summary of Tim's symptoms:
"He took a pill to put a snap in his celery about an hour since"
(thanks for the vegetable analogy)

Sally tells Gail what Tim ordered by mail:
"Pills for men for downstairs"

(I think I preferred the celery analogy)

Gail offers her expertise about the causes of ED:
"The bits won't do what they want them to"

(say no more... please!)

***

Well, fellow Street savants, so ends another week. One hopes that Abi will show a modicum of good sense in dealing with her problems... but that probably won't happen. Oh well, thanks so much for stopping by. Have a great week.