Coronation Street Catch Up: the South Weatherfield Donkey Sanctuary edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Well, well. 

Stephen is back from Milan/Canada and distressed to find his Mum (Audrey) trapped under a motorcycle in the Trim Up North hair salon. 

And, not far away, the ex-snuggle bunny of Ken, Wendy Crozier, is back serving as foster coach to Abi and baby Alfie.

Let's break it down. 

Audrey's motorcycle accident comes after a prolonged bout of alcohol over-indulgence. This alarming situation culminates with Audrey returning to Trim Up North and insisting that she resume hairdressing (even though she is fairly pie eyed). Then Audrey decides to fire David, Kelly and Maria. Alone and half corked, she stumbles and the salon's decorative motorcycle falls on her.

Fortunately, after many years MIA, Stephen's Air Canada flight (what? not cancelled?) arrives just in time for Stephen to bust through the door of the hair salon and rescue his Mum. Soon after, an ambulance arrives and Stephen (not Gail) accompanies Audrey to the hospital.

Let's stay with the Platts for a moment because, at the other end of the Platts age spectrum, Max has unfortunately sent a photo of his private parts to a would-be girlfriend. Only it turns out that he was actually tricked into sending the photo to two yobbo schoolmates who now want 1,000 pounds or they will distribute the image far and wide. Oh dear. David refuses to give Max the money to pay the ransom.

As for Wendy Crozier, she is busy monitoring Abi's parenting skills and keeping a low profile until Tracy spots her in the Street and hurls insults since she has not forgotten Wendy's ancient dalliance with Ken which split up Ken and Deirdre (for a while) .

Elsewhere, Peter is like a dog with a bone about Dr. Thorne and still aiming to bring the surgeon to justice for his express kidney operation and careless surgery habits.

After finally accepting Brian's tepid marriage proposal, Cathy changes her mind and takes off.

Tim and Sally have their first session with a sex therapist although things get off to a rocky start when Tim mistakenly thinks a fundraiser for a donkey sanctuary is the therapist. One could say that he makes an ass of himself.

George continues to avoid his school bully. Aggie is jealous of Tim and Sally's close connection as she is currently arguing with Ed.  

Meanwhile Maria has her share of problems. Not only did Audrey fire her, but she is also on the hook for provoking a possible recycling and garbage strike because she proposed adding an extra bin expressly for glass recycling.

And now for a few lines from the week that was:

David to Gail re: Audrey's erratic behaviour:
"She's gone feral"

(actually she's gone to the hospital)

Tim's shares with Sally his list of things that give him pleasure
"Weathy County, Paul Weller, cheese"

(short and sweet) 

Cathy to Brian:
"I don't want to move to Cornwall with you"

(nothing personal)

Leanne tells Nick that Toyah couldn't have killed Imran:
"She's a vegetarian for God's sake"

(but not vegan)

Sally to Tim:
"If the worst comes to worst, then we'll take up golf or pottery or paddle boarding"
(not really quite the same as sex)

Evelyn to Brian re: his colourful shirt:
"Does that shirt have a volume control?"

(It goes to 11)

Evelyn to Brian:
"Maybe you are a pedantic, middle aged, old stick in the mud"

(go on...)

Barbara, the donkey sanctuary lady, to Tim who thinks she is a sex therapist.
"How do you feel about donkeys?"

(they make lousy sex therapists) 

David refuses to take the blame for Max's indiscretion:
"I'm not the one who's sending pictures of my meat and two veg, willy nilly" 
(thank goodness for small mercies)

Tim to Sally about their problem:
"This is sex and we're British"

(keep calm and remain tight-lipped)

***

Well, faithful followers, so ends another week. Sorry for the delay in posting (the next couple of weeks are going to be tricky as I'm on the move). Have a great week!