spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 29 episode on CBC
John Stape's plan to win back the lovely Fiz is moving into high gear as John-boy brings out the big guns - 17th century poets - to convince his would-be love to let him... um... revel once again in her delicate charms (get to the legover part pronto - ed).
John employs the time-tested methods of Robert Herrick and Andrew Marvell (premier league strikers? - ed). These two horny rhymesters wrote immortal lines like "gather ye rosebuds while ye may" and "Had we but world enough and time/this coyness lady would be no crime" and so on. It sounds very nice but in reality it's just hard-sell seduction aimed at getting a brother a leg-over as quickly as possible. In John's case. this not-so-subtle approach consists of trying to win back Fiz by telling her that:
1) she will eventually die so she should get back together with him pronto
2) they're together now (at Gran's house) so why not go for it while they can (also know as the 'carpe diem' pickup line on Canal Street)
3) he might die so she should get back together again with him pronto
4) didn't we have good times (i.e. before his Rosie legover) together and don't you love nostalgia
or, to put it in the immortal words of yet another poet of the genre, Marvin Gaye, "let's get in on"
To his credit, John is quite upfront about what this poetry is all about, "all urging young virgins to drop their drawers before they pop their clogs."
The key question is one of motive. Is John sincere about his desire for Fiz and does this desire come from a good place or is he being a little too calculating, too manipulative? Is he genuine or devious? The other big question for Fiz is all about trust. Can she really trust John? Will he be faithful (as he claims) or betray her again?
Pretty poetry is all well and good and the seduction dance is.. well.. seductive especially in the bucolic garden of grandma's house. Things could look very different once Fiz is back in Coronation Street with the constant reminder of Rosie swanning around in a tube top and heels. As John himself says, "reality bites"
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
designing women
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 25 episode on CBC
Two designing women are stealing the show on Coronation Street these days with their manipulative skills, raw sexuality and devious ways (Emily Bishop & Rita Sullivan? -ed).
On one corner of the Street, Carla Connor (aka Cruella de Connor or Carla de vil) is 'having her way' with Liam is a most evil way. Poor old Liam has already paid dearly to extricate himself from her clutches. He sold his stake in the factory for mere pennies to Tony, the professional business predator, in order to get away from Carlissima and make a fresh start with Maria. But alas, Liam's quiet life of pubbing and babymaking is torn asunder once more when his hapless business partner, Tom, 'gets into bed' with Carla (surely a metaphor-ed) in order to secure a business deal with a t-shirt manufacturer in America. For the bargain price of 50,000 pounds, Carla is able to get back into Liam's life and make him miserable, uncomfortable and turned on - all at the same time. "Gotcha", she says.
Then there's Nina, or as Vernon calls her: '99 Luftballoons' (ixnay on the German - ed). Here's another designing woman at work. The Bollywood Beauty swans into Dev's corner shop (sorry, I mean signature food emporium) any time she wants just to keep the Devster firmly wrapped around her little ring-encrusted finger. Only Nina could walk into a grotty corner store, ignore the 300 year-old cans of Spam and expired packets of Peek Freans digestives, and say, "I'm scintillating." After Nina cancels a date with Dev, the paramour (or 'Devamour' as Vernon calls him) goes outside to drown his disappointment by putting a few golf balls into a glass jar on the street (Must be just like St. Andrew's on a spring morning). Chalk up another victory for another designing woman.
Gotcha again.
Enjoy the weekend and the Sunday omnibus. See you next Tuesday.
Two designing women are stealing the show on Coronation Street these days with their manipulative skills, raw sexuality and devious ways (Emily Bishop & Rita Sullivan? -ed).
On one corner of the Street, Carla Connor (aka Cruella de Connor or Carla de vil) is 'having her way' with Liam is a most evil way. Poor old Liam has already paid dearly to extricate himself from her clutches. He sold his stake in the factory for mere pennies to Tony, the professional business predator, in order to get away from Carlissima and make a fresh start with Maria. But alas, Liam's quiet life of pubbing and babymaking is torn asunder once more when his hapless business partner, Tom, 'gets into bed' with Carla (surely a metaphor-ed) in order to secure a business deal with a t-shirt manufacturer in America. For the bargain price of 50,000 pounds, Carla is able to get back into Liam's life and make him miserable, uncomfortable and turned on - all at the same time. "Gotcha", she says.
Then there's Nina, or as Vernon calls her: '99 Luftballoons' (ixnay on the German - ed). Here's another designing woman at work. The Bollywood Beauty swans into Dev's corner shop (sorry, I mean signature food emporium) any time she wants just to keep the Devster firmly wrapped around her little ring-encrusted finger. Only Nina could walk into a grotty corner store, ignore the 300 year-old cans of Spam and expired packets of Peek Freans digestives, and say, "I'm scintillating." After Nina cancels a date with Dev, the paramour (or 'Devamour' as Vernon calls him) goes outside to drown his disappointment by putting a few golf balls into a glass jar on the street (Must be just like St. Andrew's on a spring morning). Chalk up another victory for another designing woman.
Gotcha again.
Enjoy the weekend and the Sunday omnibus. See you next Tuesday.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
The envelope, please
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 24 episode on CBC
Rita, Emily & Norris are the elder statesman & stateswomen of Coronation Street so why is their current storyline so lame?
Perhaps I'm missing something (that's usually the case - ed), but never before in the history of human conflict has so much been made of so little for so long. Emily's sealed post-death envelope has proven to be too much torture for Norris, the busybody. So, after much fretting and fussing, Emily reveals the contents to Norris after a sumptuous dinner, a cup of tea and a couple of Peek Freans. Turns out the mysterious envelope contains nothing more than burial instructions ('Tell Archie Shuttleworth to be on time'), hymn selections ('No Pink Floyd, thank you very much') and a will ('give my house to Norris but don't tell him that there's a reverse mortgage on it - he'll find out eventually').
So the mystery is solved. But wait. There's another envelope. Be still my beating heart. Norris, of course, can't resist the temptation and finally opens it. The same story seems to be replayed. It's like having Liz marry Vernon a second time, or having Tracy kill Charlie Stubbs twice (Good idea -ed). The question is why?
Now, after more dillying and dallying, we get to the contents of the second envelope: antique racy photos of Rita (when her hair colour was "natural" according to Norris - so they must be really old). Be still my beating heart again. Is there no end to this slow-moving, treacle-like intrigue of mild interest? Why is Emily keeping x-rated photos of Rita in an envelope? Why did her late husband (Ernest) take the racy snaps? Will Les Battersby ever return to give Norris a good thumping?
Don't get me wrong. I love these characters but I wish they had a story with more substance and verve. Of course, I may change my tune once we discover the truth behind the photos. But one way or another, I'm keeping my fingers crosssed that there are no more envelopes lurking in Emily's drawers. Please.
Rita, Emily & Norris are the elder statesman & stateswomen of Coronation Street so why is their current storyline so lame?
Perhaps I'm missing something (that's usually the case - ed), but never before in the history of human conflict has so much been made of so little for so long. Emily's sealed post-death envelope has proven to be too much torture for Norris, the busybody. So, after much fretting and fussing, Emily reveals the contents to Norris after a sumptuous dinner, a cup of tea and a couple of Peek Freans. Turns out the mysterious envelope contains nothing more than burial instructions ('Tell Archie Shuttleworth to be on time'), hymn selections ('No Pink Floyd, thank you very much') and a will ('give my house to Norris but don't tell him that there's a reverse mortgage on it - he'll find out eventually').
So the mystery is solved. But wait. There's another envelope. Be still my beating heart. Norris, of course, can't resist the temptation and finally opens it. The same story seems to be replayed. It's like having Liz marry Vernon a second time, or having Tracy kill Charlie Stubbs twice (Good idea -ed). The question is why?
Now, after more dillying and dallying, we get to the contents of the second envelope: antique racy photos of Rita (when her hair colour was "natural" according to Norris - so they must be really old). Be still my beating heart again. Is there no end to this slow-moving, treacle-like intrigue of mild interest? Why is Emily keeping x-rated photos of Rita in an envelope? Why did her late husband (Ernest) take the racy snaps? Will Les Battersby ever return to give Norris a good thumping?
Don't get me wrong. I love these characters but I wish they had a story with more substance and verve. Of course, I may change my tune once we discover the truth behind the photos. But one way or another, I'm keeping my fingers crosssed that there are no more envelopes lurking in Emily's drawers. Please.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Planet Sean
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 23 episode on CBC
It was sad to see Marcus pull away from Coronation Street in a taxi, leaving Sean in tears and Eileen with the damning observation that he (Sean) was probably making "the biggest mistake of his life."
Marcus played a key part in recent stories on the street. He helped Maria through her pregnancy crisis and the trauma of her dead baby. He helped Sean through his fatherhood crisis and the never-ending strife with Violet. (Don't forget his Botox training - ed) But the real genius of his character was that he helped make the notion of a 'gay' storyline or a 'straight' storyline irrelevant. He was simply a good character and an interesting addition to the Street regardless of his sexual orientation.
Of course, he still had to deal with the inhabitant of what he calls "Planet Sean" (population: 1) and that has proven to be too much even for Marcus. Sean is impetuous and insecure. One minute, Sean wants to be a dad. The next minute, he's in Ibitha with Lauren. The next minute he's being fired from Underworld. Marcus cannot deal with the selfishness. "I'm sick of being your straight man," he says during their breakup fight. Sean is sincerely remorseful but it seems that it's too little, too late. To be fair, Marcus was staying with his ex (the mysterious Noel) in London and didn't provide full disclosure to Sean about his past relationship with Noel. But all that is ancient history now as Marcus seems to be exiting Coronation Street in a one-way taxi ride.
Then, just when you reflect on how homosexual characters have evolved on the Street, Jerry Morton comes home, observes his neatly tidied house and assumes it was the work of "gay burglars".
Marcus. come back. We need you.
It was sad to see Marcus pull away from Coronation Street in a taxi, leaving Sean in tears and Eileen with the damning observation that he (Sean) was probably making "the biggest mistake of his life."
Marcus played a key part in recent stories on the street. He helped Maria through her pregnancy crisis and the trauma of her dead baby. He helped Sean through his fatherhood crisis and the never-ending strife with Violet. (Don't forget his Botox training - ed) But the real genius of his character was that he helped make the notion of a 'gay' storyline or a 'straight' storyline irrelevant. He was simply a good character and an interesting addition to the Street regardless of his sexual orientation.
Of course, he still had to deal with the inhabitant of what he calls "Planet Sean" (population: 1) and that has proven to be too much even for Marcus. Sean is impetuous and insecure. One minute, Sean wants to be a dad. The next minute, he's in Ibitha with Lauren. The next minute he's being fired from Underworld. Marcus cannot deal with the selfishness. "I'm sick of being your straight man," he says during their breakup fight. Sean is sincerely remorseful but it seems that it's too little, too late. To be fair, Marcus was staying with his ex (the mysterious Noel) in London and didn't provide full disclosure to Sean about his past relationship with Noel. But all that is ancient history now as Marcus seems to be exiting Coronation Street in a one-way taxi ride.
Then, just when you reflect on how homosexual characters have evolved on the Street, Jerry Morton comes home, observes his neatly tidied house and assumes it was the work of "gay burglars".
Marcus. come back. We need you.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
gotcha!
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 22 episode on CBC
The prime suspects:
Royston Cropper - known simply as 'Roy' to friends and foes alike. An eccentric, criminal mastermind and the brains of the operation, brilliantly throwing police off his trail for years by consistently operating what appears to be a legitimate backstreet cafe in the premises of a legitimate backstreet cafe. Oh sure, he's kept his nose clean. No prior convictions or run-ins with the law - with the possible exception of a late VAT payment (which was not his fault but rather a late post office delivery).
Kenneth Barlow - known simply as 'grandad' within the criminal fraternity. This pernicious pensioner may be a little long in the tooth but that's just what he wants you to think. Barlow serves as Cropper's right-hand man and minder. Don't cross him. His henchmen include a plumber with a love for historic castles ('Jolly Roger') and a shadowy thug known only as "Blanche" who punishes her enemies with a combination of biting sarcasm and snide remarks.
The crime:
Trying to return a cellular phone to a couple of miscreants. A typical opening gambit by Messrs. Cropper and Barlow. They're not interested in blow or crack. Etiquette is their game. Their modus operandi is to start small, eventually getting their victims hooked on good manners and even saying 'please' and 'thank you'. The sick bastards.
The evidence:
Cropper's legendary briefcase is the proverbial smoking gun. It contains a wealth of incriminating evidence: minutes from a Weatherfield Historical Society meeting, a valid library card, two lemon slices and a guide to trainspotting in the Greater Manchester area.
Book 'em, Dano
The prime suspects:
Royston Cropper - known simply as 'Roy' to friends and foes alike. An eccentric, criminal mastermind and the brains of the operation, brilliantly throwing police off his trail for years by consistently operating what appears to be a legitimate backstreet cafe in the premises of a legitimate backstreet cafe. Oh sure, he's kept his nose clean. No prior convictions or run-ins with the law - with the possible exception of a late VAT payment (which was not his fault but rather a late post office delivery).
Kenneth Barlow - known simply as 'grandad' within the criminal fraternity. This pernicious pensioner may be a little long in the tooth but that's just what he wants you to think. Barlow serves as Cropper's right-hand man and minder. Don't cross him. His henchmen include a plumber with a love for historic castles ('Jolly Roger') and a shadowy thug known only as "Blanche" who punishes her enemies with a combination of biting sarcasm and snide remarks.
The crime:
Trying to return a cellular phone to a couple of miscreants. A typical opening gambit by Messrs. Cropper and Barlow. They're not interested in blow or crack. Etiquette is their game. Their modus operandi is to start small, eventually getting their victims hooked on good manners and even saying 'please' and 'thank you'. The sick bastards.
The evidence:
Cropper's legendary briefcase is the proverbial smoking gun. It contains a wealth of incriminating evidence: minutes from a Weatherfield Historical Society meeting, a valid library card, two lemon slices and a guide to trainspotting in the Greater Manchester area.
Book 'em, Dano
Friday, June 19, 2009
Il Skivo
Spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the July 18 episode on CBC
Let's deal with the mundane first.
Teresa has made a startling bedside confession to Jerry (she makes a lousy apple pie and custard? - ed). Much to my surprise, she has come clean and told the Kebab King (TM) that she is responsible for giving him too many pills and reducing his blood to the consistency of a cup of weak tea at Roy's Rolls. Jerry is shocked. Teresa has pulled a lot of reprehensible stunts (extra marital affairs, abandoning the kids, lying, conning Lloyd into paternity payouts for his 'son' Finlay, using Sally Webster's conservatory as a giant ashtray, etc etc) but this one takes the cake. Jerry threatens to call 999 (note: subtract 88 for Canadian equivalent). Teresa leaves. She's a bad seed but, let's face it, she didn't have to confess at all. She could have stayed quiet and probably would have gotten away with it. Suddenly, against all odds, she starts to show a little depth and complexity. I'm just wondering if it's too little, too late.
But all this is just prologue to the singing debut of Vernon Tomlin whose pipes reveal an earthy, earnest country/folk/pop sensibility -- without the usual good looks, talent and charisma which burden most singing superstars. He's like 1/4 (1/8th surely - ed) of the singing group Il Divo. Call him 'Il Skivo'. But I digress. Vernon's breakup with Liz has inspired songs and lyrics that we will never forget (try as we might). Let's not wait one second more before releasing a CD. I can see it now....
Vernon Tomlin's Greatest Hits
Side 1
Wichita potman
Stayin' askive
Slip, slippin' away... (pending Paul Simon lawsuit)
Time please
Side 2
I'll have the full English (but my love is half baked)
Ice and a slice... of my heart
Bang the drum slowly (Vernon's productivity song)
(Don't fall into) The Mason's Arms
Order now and get a free hotpot! That's it for this week. Enjoy the Sunday omnibus episode. Thanks for visiting and I'll be back next Tuesday.
Let's deal with the mundane first.
Teresa has made a startling bedside confession to Jerry (she makes a lousy apple pie and custard? - ed). Much to my surprise, she has come clean and told the Kebab King (TM) that she is responsible for giving him too many pills and reducing his blood to the consistency of a cup of weak tea at Roy's Rolls. Jerry is shocked. Teresa has pulled a lot of reprehensible stunts (extra marital affairs, abandoning the kids, lying, conning Lloyd into paternity payouts for his 'son' Finlay, using Sally Webster's conservatory as a giant ashtray, etc etc) but this one takes the cake. Jerry threatens to call 999 (note: subtract 88 for Canadian equivalent). Teresa leaves. She's a bad seed but, let's face it, she didn't have to confess at all. She could have stayed quiet and probably would have gotten away with it. Suddenly, against all odds, she starts to show a little depth and complexity. I'm just wondering if it's too little, too late.
But all this is just prologue to the singing debut of Vernon Tomlin whose pipes reveal an earthy, earnest country/folk/pop sensibility -- without the usual good looks, talent and charisma which burden most singing superstars. He's like 1/4 (1/8th surely - ed) of the singing group Il Divo. Call him 'Il Skivo'. But I digress. Vernon's breakup with Liz has inspired songs and lyrics that we will never forget (try as we might). Let's not wait one second more before releasing a CD. I can see it now....
Vernon Tomlin's Greatest Hits
Side 1
Wichita potman
Stayin' askive
Slip, slippin' away... (pending Paul Simon lawsuit)
Time please
Side 2
I'll have the full English (but my love is half baked)
Ice and a slice... of my heart
Bang the drum slowly (Vernon's productivity song)
(Don't fall into) The Mason's Arms
Order now and get a free hotpot! That's it for this week. Enjoy the Sunday omnibus episode. Thanks for visiting and I'll be back next Tuesday.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
10 signs of trouble
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 17 episode on CBC
You know you're in trouble when:
...you accept advice about women and relationships in the Rovers
...you accept advice about women and relationships in the Rovers from Lloyd of Streetcars (aka 'Floyd' according to Nina)
...you refer to yourself as a "plaything" (Nice one, Dev. Who do you think you are? Fabio?)
...you leave your piggy bank unattended while Teresa is in your house
...you leave your medication unattended while Teresa is in your house
...you leave your house unattended while Teresa is in your house
...your only prospect for a long term relationship is David Platt
...your biggest decision of the day is whether to have "a biscuit or something buttered" (according to Ken Barlow)
...your career path leads you to Roy's Rolls (Ken again)
... your major challenge is finding a rhyme for the word 'everlasting' (Hey Vernon, how about 'nevergrafting'?)
You know you're in trouble when:
...you accept advice about women and relationships in the Rovers
...you accept advice about women and relationships in the Rovers from Lloyd of Streetcars (aka 'Floyd' according to Nina)
...you refer to yourself as a "plaything" (Nice one, Dev. Who do you think you are? Fabio?)
...you leave your piggy bank unattended while Teresa is in your house
...you leave your medication unattended while Teresa is in your house
...you leave your house unattended while Teresa is in your house
...your only prospect for a long term relationship is David Platt
...your biggest decision of the day is whether to have "a biscuit or something buttered" (according to Ken Barlow)
...your career path leads you to Roy's Rolls (Ken again)
... your major challenge is finding a rhyme for the word 'everlasting' (Hey Vernon, how about 'nevergrafting'?)
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
CSI Weatherfield
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 16 episode on CBC
I'm thinking about an idea for a Coronation Street spin-off called 'CSI Weatherfield'. It would be a slick series about a down-market crime scene investigation unit based in a spiffy building somewhere near the Red Wreck. The detectives would be called in to investigate different crime scenes each week. One week, it could be a building site where endangered bats have been evicted. Another episode would focus on a man in London seen going to a bar with another man. Then there's the case of a Kebab shop owner who is rushed to hospital after banging his head on a coffee table.
Poor Jerry is in surgery. At first glance, it looks like an open and shut case. He's a man who is not in very good physical shape with a diagnosed heart condition. He banged his head and, because he's on blood thiners, his internal bleeding is difficult to stop. This is sad and gut-wrenching for Darryl and Mel and the other kids. However, I am looking forward to detectives putting Teresa in an interrogation room under a light and grilling her (with time out for fag breaks, of course).
The only puzzling part of this whole unhappy plot is Teresa herself, a hard-faced opportunist, liar, cheat, shirker, skiver... (That's enough. We get it - ed). She seems to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever and that's unusual on the Street. Of course, there's also the curious case of David Platt, succeeding in his devious plan to get back together with Tina. Frankly, I'm surprised that Tina has succumbed to the dubious charms of the Platt-man. I guess she's forgotten that quaint little cautionary rhyme which, I believe, goes something like this:
One for sorrow
Two for a pal
Three for a psycho driving in the canal
Four for a table
Five for the chairs
Six for the yob who pushed his mom down the stairs
Well, what were you expecting? Keats?
I'm thinking about an idea for a Coronation Street spin-off called 'CSI Weatherfield'. It would be a slick series about a down-market crime scene investigation unit based in a spiffy building somewhere near the Red Wreck. The detectives would be called in to investigate different crime scenes each week. One week, it could be a building site where endangered bats have been evicted. Another episode would focus on a man in London seen going to a bar with another man. Then there's the case of a Kebab shop owner who is rushed to hospital after banging his head on a coffee table.
Poor Jerry is in surgery. At first glance, it looks like an open and shut case. He's a man who is not in very good physical shape with a diagnosed heart condition. He banged his head and, because he's on blood thiners, his internal bleeding is difficult to stop. This is sad and gut-wrenching for Darryl and Mel and the other kids. However, I am looking forward to detectives putting Teresa in an interrogation room under a light and grilling her (with time out for fag breaks, of course).
The only puzzling part of this whole unhappy plot is Teresa herself, a hard-faced opportunist, liar, cheat, shirker, skiver... (That's enough. We get it - ed). She seems to have no redeeming qualities whatsoever and that's unusual on the Street. Of course, there's also the curious case of David Platt, succeeding in his devious plan to get back together with Tina. Frankly, I'm surprised that Tina has succumbed to the dubious charms of the Platt-man. I guess she's forgotten that quaint little cautionary rhyme which, I believe, goes something like this:
One for sorrow
Two for a pal
Three for a psycho driving in the canal
Four for a table
Five for the chairs
Six for the yob who pushed his mom down the stairs
Well, what were you expecting? Keats?
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
a tale of two chest pains
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 15 episode on CBC
It had to happen sooner or later. Kebab King Jerry had another heart episode. He took a perilous tumble and thudded to the floor, but not before hitting his head on a coffee table on the way down. Looks like Teresa's strategy has worked - or has it? What exactly was the plan? An overdose of heart medication could make Jerry sick, but then again, it could kill him. Unless Teresa has a phD in pharmacology from Weatherfield Technical Institute (magna cum mither), she would hardly be in a position to know what would happen. Even without the double doses of heart pills, Jerry was hardly on the road to healthy living. Curries, half pints, chips at the kebab shop, a half block stroll to the Rovers and custard with apple pie all seem to be part of his demanding regime. Let's just say he wasn't exactly living la vida vegan.
On the other side of town, a scene of similar horror and dread was taking place. I'm talking about Dev and the Bollywood babe. Nina continues to rack up double entendres at a faster pace than Usain Bolt running the 100 metres. Then, before you can say 'Bombay Duck', the twosome engage in a lively bit of 'garam masala' (enough with the suggestive ethnic metaphors - ed). Maybe it's me, but I just don't get it. Admittedly, Dev's let himself go since his traumatic breakup with Sunita but he used to be a player (slogan: "a comely companion in every corner shop"). Remember? Now he's entering the world of farce, a veritable horndog millionaire with a Bollywood retiree and a hairy chest (you could lose a golf ball in there!).
Oh the humanity!
Teresa's recipe for custard (clip and save)
Six large eggs
Five heaping spoons of sugar
Four of Jerry's heart pills
Three pints milk
Directions:
Heat and beat (the custard, not Jerry)
It had to happen sooner or later. Kebab King Jerry had another heart episode. He took a perilous tumble and thudded to the floor, but not before hitting his head on a coffee table on the way down. Looks like Teresa's strategy has worked - or has it? What exactly was the plan? An overdose of heart medication could make Jerry sick, but then again, it could kill him. Unless Teresa has a phD in pharmacology from Weatherfield Technical Institute (magna cum mither), she would hardly be in a position to know what would happen. Even without the double doses of heart pills, Jerry was hardly on the road to healthy living. Curries, half pints, chips at the kebab shop, a half block stroll to the Rovers and custard with apple pie all seem to be part of his demanding regime. Let's just say he wasn't exactly living la vida vegan.
On the other side of town, a scene of similar horror and dread was taking place. I'm talking about Dev and the Bollywood babe. Nina continues to rack up double entendres at a faster pace than Usain Bolt running the 100 metres. Then, before you can say 'Bombay Duck', the twosome engage in a lively bit of 'garam masala' (enough with the suggestive ethnic metaphors - ed). Maybe it's me, but I just don't get it. Admittedly, Dev's let himself go since his traumatic breakup with Sunita but he used to be a player (slogan: "a comely companion in every corner shop"). Remember? Now he's entering the world of farce, a veritable horndog millionaire with a Bollywood retiree and a hairy chest (you could lose a golf ball in there!).
Oh the humanity!
Teresa's recipe for custard (clip and save)
Six large eggs
Five heaping spoons of sugar
Four of Jerry's heart pills
Three pints milk
Directions:
Heat and beat (the custard, not Jerry)
Friday, June 12, 2009
real men & fake boobs
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 11 episode on CBC
John Stape and Tyrone Dobbs are worlds apart but they have something in common. They are both eliciting some strong emotions and tears from the women who love them.
John's strategy seems to be to 'hang around' on Coronation Street and worm his way back into Fiz's good books. Is this pure manipulaton or heartfelt remorse? That's the question for poor Fiz. Slowly but surely, she is being charmed by his low-key presence and constant apologies. Mind you, she's not completely sold. "You love anything old - apart from Rosie Webster," she says. Ouch.
Despite her reservations and Chesney's disapproval, Fiz is slowly being persuaded that John could be ready for relationship rehab. Julie adds her two cents with a strong endorsement of the ex-teacher and urges Fiz to make a "u-turn". Julie points out that there is only so much doghouse that a man can endure - and she should know because she goes out with Kirk. At one point, she even breaks into song, belting out "on the street where you live" at high volume. (I think Fiz may get back together with John just to stop Julie from any further singing - I certainly would).
While this 'RomCom' ("without the com", as Julie says) is going on, Molly has her own problems dealing with Tyrone's mom, Jackie Dobbs. Jackie sings a sad song and works her con artistry on Molly - to the tune of 1,000 pounds. This was Molly's wedding money but she dutifully parts with it in order to save Jackie from the physical threats of Scary Brian. Poor Jackie just wanted the money to pay for her water bill, didn't she? Well, no, actually she just wanted to pay for a boob job in Majorca. Nothing like a little nip and tuck tourism. Got a problem with that? Molly is aghast and upset. Tyrone disinvites Jackie from the wedding. The result? The wedding fund is gone, Jackie has conned again and Molly realizes just what a "kind, beautiful man" Tyrone is. That's a rare tribute on Coronation Street and Tyrone only adds to his halo when he vows to give Molly a grand wedding even if he has to "flog a kidney".
I'm off to the big smoke (Toronto) for a few days. Back on Tuesday. Enjoy the Sunday omnibus and see you soon.
John Stape and Tyrone Dobbs are worlds apart but they have something in common. They are both eliciting some strong emotions and tears from the women who love them.
John's strategy seems to be to 'hang around' on Coronation Street and worm his way back into Fiz's good books. Is this pure manipulaton or heartfelt remorse? That's the question for poor Fiz. Slowly but surely, she is being charmed by his low-key presence and constant apologies. Mind you, she's not completely sold. "You love anything old - apart from Rosie Webster," she says. Ouch.
Despite her reservations and Chesney's disapproval, Fiz is slowly being persuaded that John could be ready for relationship rehab. Julie adds her two cents with a strong endorsement of the ex-teacher and urges Fiz to make a "u-turn". Julie points out that there is only so much doghouse that a man can endure - and she should know because she goes out with Kirk. At one point, she even breaks into song, belting out "on the street where you live" at high volume. (I think Fiz may get back together with John just to stop Julie from any further singing - I certainly would).
While this 'RomCom' ("without the com", as Julie says) is going on, Molly has her own problems dealing with Tyrone's mom, Jackie Dobbs. Jackie sings a sad song and works her con artistry on Molly - to the tune of 1,000 pounds. This was Molly's wedding money but she dutifully parts with it in order to save Jackie from the physical threats of Scary Brian. Poor Jackie just wanted the money to pay for her water bill, didn't she? Well, no, actually she just wanted to pay for a boob job in Majorca. Nothing like a little nip and tuck tourism. Got a problem with that? Molly is aghast and upset. Tyrone disinvites Jackie from the wedding. The result? The wedding fund is gone, Jackie has conned again and Molly realizes just what a "kind, beautiful man" Tyrone is. That's a rare tribute on Coronation Street and Tyrone only adds to his halo when he vows to give Molly a grand wedding even if he has to "flog a kidney".
I'm off to the big smoke (Toronto) for a few days. Back on Tuesday. Enjoy the Sunday omnibus and see you soon.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Webster's Dictionary
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 10 episode on CBC
VA-CA-TION Pronunciation:\vā-ˈkā-shən, və-\
VA-CA-TION Pronunciation:\vā-ˈkā-shən, və-\
- Function:
- noun
- Usage:
- often expletive (as in "Sal, are we going on this bloody vacation or not?")
- Etymology:
- Middle English vacacioun, from Anglo-French vacacion, from Latin vacation-, vacatio freedom, exemption, from vacare, Manchester-area dialect origins unknown (ask Roy Cropper or the Weatherfield Historical Society)
- Date:
- 14th century (first used by Ena Sharples, I believe)
1: a bad idea especially when Kevin's garage is on its last legs and in financial peril thanks to Tony Gordon
2: a very expensive proposition especially when you add up the drinking costs for Bill, jet ski rental for Sophie, multiple thong purchases for Rosie and fancy restaurant expenses (tablecloths and cutlery, please) for Sally
3: period of exemption from work granted to an employee like Sally Webster who will be replaced by Julie (that's right, Kirk's Julie) or a personal assistant like Rosie Webster with a cellphone camera full of incriminating photos.
4: period spent away from the Webster's a new home and its gorgeous conservatory (aka 'giant ash tray' -- according to Teresa next door).
5: leisure activity conducive to protracted bickering between Sophie and Rosie which could result in Sophie running a jet ski across Rosie's favourite tube top - while Rosie is still wearing it.
6: timely opportunity for tensions about the garage and Kev's hate-on for Tony to explode into a big row on the beach between Kev and Sally while they splash on SPF 400 to keep the sun from roasting their pale Weatherfield epidermis.
7: situation where it's impossible to get a good cup of tea or a pint like back 'ome.
2: a very expensive proposition especially when you add up the drinking costs for Bill, jet ski rental for Sophie, multiple thong purchases for Rosie and fancy restaurant expenses (tablecloths and cutlery, please) for Sally
3: period of exemption from work granted to an employee like Sally Webster who will be replaced by Julie (that's right, Kirk's Julie) or a personal assistant like Rosie Webster with a cellphone camera full of incriminating photos.
4: period spent away from the Webster's a new home and its gorgeous conservatory (aka 'giant ash tray' -- according to Teresa next door).
5: leisure activity conducive to protracted bickering between Sophie and Rosie which could result in Sophie running a jet ski across Rosie's favourite tube top - while Rosie is still wearing it.
6: timely opportunity for tensions about the garage and Kev's hate-on for Tony to explode into a big row on the beach between Kev and Sally while they splash on SPF 400 to keep the sun from roasting their pale Weatherfield epidermis.
7: situation where it's impossible to get a good cup of tea or a pint like back 'ome.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
O Jackie
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 9 episode on CBC
Ever consider how many denizens of Coronation Street have spent time behind bars?
It's quite an impressive list. Let's see: there's Steve McDonald (chip off the old block), Kevin Webster (for assaulting John Stape), Deirdre Barlow (remember her bigamist beau?), Tracy Barlow, Becky Granger and David Platt. I'm sure I'm forgetting someone but let's just say we have enough convicted felons to justify the construction of a mininum security detention facility on the Red Wreck (quick, call Tony Gordon).
Now, it seems, we might have hit the 'jailbird jackpot' with the possible return of the irrepressible Jackie Dobbs, Tyrone's mom. Although my memory may be failing me (not to mention your writing - ed), I remember Jackie as a sparkplug and great catalyst for action on the Street.
Jackie got her big break when she shared a prison cell with Deirdre Barlow. That in itself was worth the price of admission. They were the unlikeliest of, how you say, bedfellows. An experienced prison habituee, Jackie was kind enough to show Deirdre the ropes and help her survive P4 women. Then, one day, Jackie suddenly appeared on the Street. It was payback time. She wasted no time catching up on old times with Deirdre, then becoming a squatter in Curly Watts house and leveraging her criminal ways. Soon her young son (Tyrone) was on the scene and they were a great twosome. Tyrone remains loyal to his mom in a sweet way. He points out to Molly that his mom is not a criminal except for shoplifting, robbery and, oh yeah, assault. Priceless.
Jackie has been hanging out in 'Spain' for quite a while (like Steve's brother Andy) In Coronation Street terminology, Spain is usually code for a holding area for characters who may return for cameos (as opposed to Canada which is usually code for banishment to an icy wasteland of no return).
So what can we expect if and when Jackie returns? Fireworks, I would think. Personally I'm hoping that Jackie will outdo herself this time around. Maybe she'll even become a squatter in one of the vacant Victoria Court flats and drive Tony Gordon right round the bend. I'm just hypothesizing here...
Ever consider how many denizens of Coronation Street have spent time behind bars?
It's quite an impressive list. Let's see: there's Steve McDonald (chip off the old block), Kevin Webster (for assaulting John Stape), Deirdre Barlow (remember her bigamist beau?), Tracy Barlow, Becky Granger and David Platt. I'm sure I'm forgetting someone but let's just say we have enough convicted felons to justify the construction of a mininum security detention facility on the Red Wreck (quick, call Tony Gordon).
Now, it seems, we might have hit the 'jailbird jackpot' with the possible return of the irrepressible Jackie Dobbs, Tyrone's mom. Although my memory may be failing me (not to mention your writing - ed), I remember Jackie as a sparkplug and great catalyst for action on the Street.
Jackie got her big break when she shared a prison cell with Deirdre Barlow. That in itself was worth the price of admission. They were the unlikeliest of, how you say, bedfellows. An experienced prison habituee, Jackie was kind enough to show Deirdre the ropes and help her survive P4 women. Then, one day, Jackie suddenly appeared on the Street. It was payback time. She wasted no time catching up on old times with Deirdre, then becoming a squatter in Curly Watts house and leveraging her criminal ways. Soon her young son (Tyrone) was on the scene and they were a great twosome. Tyrone remains loyal to his mom in a sweet way. He points out to Molly that his mom is not a criminal except for shoplifting, robbery and, oh yeah, assault. Priceless.
Jackie has been hanging out in 'Spain' for quite a while (like Steve's brother Andy) In Coronation Street terminology, Spain is usually code for a holding area for characters who may return for cameos (as opposed to Canada which is usually code for banishment to an icy wasteland of no return).
So what can we expect if and when Jackie returns? Fireworks, I would think. Personally I'm hoping that Jackie will outdo herself this time around. Maybe she'll even become a squatter in one of the vacant Victoria Court flats and drive Tony Gordon right round the bend. I'm just hypothesizing here...
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
A Minnie tribute & a maxi flirt
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 8 episode on CBC
Only the hardest of hearts would fail to be moved by the touching tribute to Minnie Caldwell on Friday's episode. Many longtime fans remember Minnie as one of the show's original and most endearing characters with a shy exterior, a heart of gold and the mettle to endure the company of acid-tongued Ena Sharples. You can find more info on these legendary characters at one of the more authoritative and reputable Corrie sites out there (not this one - ed).
Minnie makes a surprise 'appearance' when the old man who suffers a Tony Gordon-induced heart attack is in hospital recovering and perusing a few of his precious momentoes. One souvenir is a photo of our dear Minnie. It seems that the old man is Jed Stone, one of Minnie's lodgers back in the 1960s. It's a nice touch for veteran fans and serves to reinforce the fact that Tony is one bad dude.
Meanwhile, the puzzling combo of Prem and Nina continue to spend their valuable time dropping by the street for little or no reason. At Tony's smarmy champagne event to celebrate the opening of his swanky Victoria Court flats, there they are sipping flutes of sparkling 'Cuvee Rovers' while Rosie struts around in a full-length thong, pouting and serving guests. At Dev's 'signature store', the couple are forever popping in for a chat (doesn't Prem have a carpet and flooring empire to run?). I guess when you need some mints, you both have to jump into your Jaguar and head to an out-of-the-way backstreet corner store. But then, as the googly-eyed Nina, Queen of the Sexual Innuendo (TM) points out, "It wasn't the mints I wanted."
What's with that woman? She could make a breakfast order at Roy's Rolls sound like a line from Last Tango in Paris, "I'll have the full English, Roy... if you know what I mean."
Come to think of it, that would be a bit suggestive.
Only the hardest of hearts would fail to be moved by the touching tribute to Minnie Caldwell on Friday's episode. Many longtime fans remember Minnie as one of the show's original and most endearing characters with a shy exterior, a heart of gold and the mettle to endure the company of acid-tongued Ena Sharples. You can find more info on these legendary characters at one of the more authoritative and reputable Corrie sites out there (not this one - ed).
Minnie makes a surprise 'appearance' when the old man who suffers a Tony Gordon-induced heart attack is in hospital recovering and perusing a few of his precious momentoes. One souvenir is a photo of our dear Minnie. It seems that the old man is Jed Stone, one of Minnie's lodgers back in the 1960s. It's a nice touch for veteran fans and serves to reinforce the fact that Tony is one bad dude.
Meanwhile, the puzzling combo of Prem and Nina continue to spend their valuable time dropping by the street for little or no reason. At Tony's smarmy champagne event to celebrate the opening of his swanky Victoria Court flats, there they are sipping flutes of sparkling 'Cuvee Rovers' while Rosie struts around in a full-length thong, pouting and serving guests. At Dev's 'signature store', the couple are forever popping in for a chat (doesn't Prem have a carpet and flooring empire to run?). I guess when you need some mints, you both have to jump into your Jaguar and head to an out-of-the-way backstreet corner store. But then, as the googly-eyed Nina, Queen of the Sexual Innuendo (TM) points out, "It wasn't the mints I wanted."
What's with that woman? She could make a breakfast order at Roy's Rolls sound like a line from Last Tango in Paris, "I'll have the full English, Roy... if you know what I mean."
Come to think of it, that would be a bit suggestive.
Friday, June 5, 2009
leaning towards Tony... Soprano
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 4 episode on CBC
In yesterday's post, I assessed the business methods of Tony Gordon and wondered if he was a bona fide gangster (a la Tony Soprano) or more of an inefficient poser (a la Tony the Tiger). After Thursday's episode, I think I have my answer. Mr. Gordon is taking it up a notch on the scale of criminality and is starting to seem like a guy who would fit right in with the Soprano mob.
On a routine visit to the house of the old man who is holding up the luxury flat project, Tony waves a cheque and does his usual shtick only to witness the poor old fella fall to the floor in pain, while clutching his arm. Tony is not impressed and becomes impatient (after all, he's been making more visits to this house than a homecare nurse). "Spare me the fake heart attack routine," he says with scorn.
Of course, it's the real thing and Tony reveals his true nature by taking full advantage. Oh sure, he summons an ambulance - after a while. And, just to top it all off with a genuine touch of Dr. Evil, the 'Tonemeister' picks up the poor old gent's cat and strokes the kitty fondly. Can there be any more clear indicator of a very bad man?
As I say, this act propels Tony to a much higher level on the Coronation Street scale of evil criminals. How much further will he go? Will he reach the same heights as Alan Bradley (Rita Sullivan's psycho suitor/con artist who was killed by a tram in the pleasant seaside resort of Blackpool) or serial killer/insurance broker Richard Hillman? Or will he just hover somewhere above the Terry Duckworth level? We can only wait and see.
Meanwhile, back in the Rovers, Auntie Pam is trying to rig a church raffle. Is there no end to this litany of perverse villainy? O tempora O mores!
That's it for the week. Enjoy the weekend and I'll be back next Tuesday.
In yesterday's post, I assessed the business methods of Tony Gordon and wondered if he was a bona fide gangster (a la Tony Soprano) or more of an inefficient poser (a la Tony the Tiger). After Thursday's episode, I think I have my answer. Mr. Gordon is taking it up a notch on the scale of criminality and is starting to seem like a guy who would fit right in with the Soprano mob.
On a routine visit to the house of the old man who is holding up the luxury flat project, Tony waves a cheque and does his usual shtick only to witness the poor old fella fall to the floor in pain, while clutching his arm. Tony is not impressed and becomes impatient (after all, he's been making more visits to this house than a homecare nurse). "Spare me the fake heart attack routine," he says with scorn.
Of course, it's the real thing and Tony reveals his true nature by taking full advantage. Oh sure, he summons an ambulance - after a while. And, just to top it all off with a genuine touch of Dr. Evil, the 'Tonemeister' picks up the poor old gent's cat and strokes the kitty fondly. Can there be any more clear indicator of a very bad man?
As I say, this act propels Tony to a much higher level on the Coronation Street scale of evil criminals. How much further will he go? Will he reach the same heights as Alan Bradley (Rita Sullivan's psycho suitor/con artist who was killed by a tram in the pleasant seaside resort of Blackpool) or serial killer/insurance broker Richard Hillman? Or will he just hover somewhere above the Terry Duckworth level? We can only wait and see.
Meanwhile, back in the Rovers, Auntie Pam is trying to rig a church raffle. Is there no end to this litany of perverse villainy? O tempora O mores!
That's it for the week. Enjoy the weekend and I'll be back next Tuesday.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tony Soprano or Tony the Tiger?
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 3 episode on CBC
All I can say is: Tony, Tony, Tony. The rag trade mogul (and Carla's fancy man) now seems to have quite an appetite for unscrupulous business practices. Not only that, but he seems to be building his crooked empire on several fronts. He's such a busy guy that I don't know where he finds the time to run Underworld, supervise Rosie and keep Carla.. um.. satisfied (that's enough of that - ed).
However, for a grade 'A' evil business guy, Tony seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time on projects which are yielding rather small rates of return. I think his auditors would be disappointed with his lack of productivity.
Let's take a look at the Kevin Webster Intimidation file, for example. Mr. G seems to be spending huge amounts of time and money trying to 'convince' the stubborn Kev to leave his garage. In the process, he seems to have added dozens of people to his payroll just to get his hands on a grotty backstreet property. He's hired a thug, an entire low-cost garage to undercut Kev's prices, a sexy female driver in distress and even a high-priced thief to steal Kev's tow truck. Can you imagine the overtime and per diem expenses? (And that doesn't even include the cost of new micro-halter tops and other tarty clothes to keep Rosie Webster happy)
Then there's that other time-consuming project which involves throwing a poor, old man and his pet on the street. Tony needs to do that pronto so he can build some more luxury flats. But, rather than give the guy a fair price and a nice new home, Tony has opted for a more long-term strategy: making fruitless visits to the old man's house, sitting outside in his car and eating BLT sandwiches with Jason.
(On the other hand, Tony did manage to deal with Roy Cropper and the endangered bats - although it's probably not an issue you'd see on the agenda of most underworld crime bosses)
Well, I suppose every business tycoon has her or her own particular style. I just can't decide whether Mr. Gordon owes more to Tony Soprano or Tony the Tiger.
All I can say is: Tony, Tony, Tony. The rag trade mogul (and Carla's fancy man) now seems to have quite an appetite for unscrupulous business practices. Not only that, but he seems to be building his crooked empire on several fronts. He's such a busy guy that I don't know where he finds the time to run Underworld, supervise Rosie and keep Carla.. um.. satisfied (that's enough of that - ed).
However, for a grade 'A' evil business guy, Tony seems to be spending an inordinate amount of time on projects which are yielding rather small rates of return. I think his auditors would be disappointed with his lack of productivity.
Let's take a look at the Kevin Webster Intimidation file, for example. Mr. G seems to be spending huge amounts of time and money trying to 'convince' the stubborn Kev to leave his garage. In the process, he seems to have added dozens of people to his payroll just to get his hands on a grotty backstreet property. He's hired a thug, an entire low-cost garage to undercut Kev's prices, a sexy female driver in distress and even a high-priced thief to steal Kev's tow truck. Can you imagine the overtime and per diem expenses? (And that doesn't even include the cost of new micro-halter tops and other tarty clothes to keep Rosie Webster happy)
Then there's that other time-consuming project which involves throwing a poor, old man and his pet on the street. Tony needs to do that pronto so he can build some more luxury flats. But, rather than give the guy a fair price and a nice new home, Tony has opted for a more long-term strategy: making fruitless visits to the old man's house, sitting outside in his car and eating BLT sandwiches with Jason.
(On the other hand, Tony did manage to deal with Roy Cropper and the endangered bats - although it's probably not an issue you'd see on the agenda of most underworld crime bosses)
Well, I suppose every business tycoon has her or her own particular style. I just can't decide whether Mr. Gordon owes more to Tony Soprano or Tony the Tiger.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Pickles & ostrich hot pot
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 2 episode on CBC
Two culinary concoctions are being prepared on Coronation Street. At the Duckworth's (now Tyrone and Molly's house), Auntie Pam is re-packaging pickles that she bought at an auction into jars which she apparently 'recycled' from the garbage. Sounds yummy. Pam is a bit of an oddball. She appeared, deus ex machina (that's enough Latin - ed), in the Rovers one day and now seems to be a fixture at the home of Molly and Tyrone. She's not quite endearing and not quite funny, but maybe it just takes time to appreciate her qualities and, besides, Jack needs someone to talk to besides his pigeons.
Meanwhile, at the home of the kebab king, Jerry's ex-wife is busy with her own cooking methods. The lovely Teresa was shunted aside briefly when Ashley brought over the ingredients for a delicious ostrich hot pot. Sounds yummy again. The poker-faced Teresa was clearly chagrined at Ashley's intervention. That's because she has her own recipe for ostrich hot pot. I don't know the specifics, but I'm guessing it goes something like this:
Teresa's Ostrich Hot Pot
1 pound ostrich meat. cubed
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
4 carrots, chopped
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
2 large potatoes, diced
2 tablets Jerry's heart medicine
1 large onion, diced
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
4 cups broth
Directions: Mix together, cook in medium oven for 1-2 hours, serve and kill Jerry
Two culinary concoctions are being prepared on Coronation Street. At the Duckworth's (now Tyrone and Molly's house), Auntie Pam is re-packaging pickles that she bought at an auction into jars which she apparently 'recycled' from the garbage. Sounds yummy. Pam is a bit of an oddball. She appeared, deus ex machina (that's enough Latin - ed), in the Rovers one day and now seems to be a fixture at the home of Molly and Tyrone. She's not quite endearing and not quite funny, but maybe it just takes time to appreciate her qualities and, besides, Jack needs someone to talk to besides his pigeons.
Meanwhile, at the home of the kebab king, Jerry's ex-wife is busy with her own cooking methods. The lovely Teresa was shunted aside briefly when Ashley brought over the ingredients for a delicious ostrich hot pot. Sounds yummy again. The poker-faced Teresa was clearly chagrined at Ashley's intervention. That's because she has her own recipe for ostrich hot pot. I don't know the specifics, but I'm guessing it goes something like this:
Teresa's Ostrich Hot Pot
1 pound ostrich meat. cubed
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
4 carrots, chopped
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
2 large potatoes, diced
2 tablets Jerry's heart medicine
1 large onion, diced
2 tablets of Jerry's heart medicine
4 cups broth
Directions: Mix together, cook in medium oven for 1-2 hours, serve and kill Jerry
Monday, June 1, 2009
the dumbing down of Steve Mcdonald
spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the June 1 episode on CBC
There's no two ways about it: Steve Mcdonald is turning into a mere shadow of the funny, nuanced character we used to love. Today's episode is just another chapter in a downward spiral of erratic behaviour (punctuated by goofy double-takes) as Steverino continues to make a mess of his relationship with Michelle.
"What ya' think I'm thick?" he yells in the back of Rover's when he finds Michelle and her mate (JD) sipping tea in their morning garb and talking about old times. Surely the question is rhetorical? Steve does indeed appear thick and getting thicker by the day.
Contrast this to the old Steve we remember. Wasn't it just a few short months ago that Steve was patiently dealing with Vernon & Liz' marriage and bravely managing the return of his volatile and violent dad? Wasn't it Steve who was the beacon of good sense and patience when Michelle discovered her real biological son (Alex) ?
What happened? Beats me but I think the watershed was when Steve (for no real good reason) locked a bookie in the basement of the Rovers overnight. That led to a nightmare string of events. Then came the piece de resistance: a trumped up fight with Michelle followed by a night of blotto drunk carousing capped off with sleepover sex with Becky. (well, one out of three isn't bad - ed)
Maybe a dark horse or a father figure will emerge to provide Steve with some of the guidance and support he needs. Someone unique who marches to the beat of his own drum. Hmm. Anyone see Vernon lately?
There's no two ways about it: Steve Mcdonald is turning into a mere shadow of the funny, nuanced character we used to love. Today's episode is just another chapter in a downward spiral of erratic behaviour (punctuated by goofy double-takes) as Steverino continues to make a mess of his relationship with Michelle.
"What ya' think I'm thick?" he yells in the back of Rover's when he finds Michelle and her mate (JD) sipping tea in their morning garb and talking about old times. Surely the question is rhetorical? Steve does indeed appear thick and getting thicker by the day.
Contrast this to the old Steve we remember. Wasn't it just a few short months ago that Steve was patiently dealing with Vernon & Liz' marriage and bravely managing the return of his volatile and violent dad? Wasn't it Steve who was the beacon of good sense and patience when Michelle discovered her real biological son (Alex) ?
What happened? Beats me but I think the watershed was when Steve (for no real good reason) locked a bookie in the basement of the Rovers overnight. That led to a nightmare string of events. Then came the piece de resistance: a trumped up fight with Michelle followed by a night of blotto drunk carousing capped off with sleepover sex with Becky. (well, one out of three isn't bad - ed)
Maybe a dark horse or a father figure will emerge to provide Steve with some of the guidance and support he needs. Someone unique who marches to the beat of his own drum. Hmm. Anyone see Vernon lately?
Welcome to Blanche's Polish Hip
I'm repeating my welcome message in June as I 'roadtest' this new blog. Please bear with me if you've already read it
Hello (or as Blanche might say, 'get on your bike') and thanks for stopping by
Welcome to 'Blanche's Polish hip', a Coronation Street blog named in honour of Blanche Hunt's replacement hip surgery, an operation which was done in Poland for, um, financial reasons and also to make as many people as possible feel guilty (I hope you're listening, Deirdre) . Blanche is the acerbic beacon for this tongue-in-cheek commentary on the Coronation Street episodes watched by faithful Canadian fans every weekday.
Blog posts are generally updated following the airing of weekday episodes on CBC TV so please be aware of the potential for spoilers -- especially if you're a Sunday omnibus edition viewer.
I hope you enjoy visiting (or as Blanche might say, 'stop reading this mindless twittering and put the kettle on')
Hello (or as Blanche might say, 'get on your bike') and thanks for stopping by
Welcome to 'Blanche's Polish hip', a Coronation Street blog named in honour of Blanche Hunt's replacement hip surgery, an operation which was done in Poland for, um, financial reasons and also to make as many people as possible feel guilty (I hope you're listening, Deirdre) . Blanche is the acerbic beacon for this tongue-in-cheek commentary on the Coronation Street episodes watched by faithful Canadian fans every weekday.
Blog posts are generally updated following the airing of weekday episodes on CBC TV so please be aware of the potential for spoilers -- especially if you're a Sunday omnibus edition viewer.
I hope you enjoy visiting (or as Blanche might say, 'stop reading this mindless twittering and put the kettle on')
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