Coronation Street Catch Up: the Thick as Pudding edition

your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

What a shocker! Apparently Evelyn had a thing for Spanish champion golfer Seve Ballesteros!

 

Oh, and the other shocker: Lauren is alive, scared to death of Joel and... pregnant. We know this because Lauren snuck into Weatherfield General to see Roy and apologize for all the pain and hardship Roy has suffered due to Lauren's disappearance.

Why was Roy in the hospital?

 

The poor fella suffered a heart attack following a stressful incident when he was being taunted by a group of yobbos. While he was recovering, Lauren managed to sneak in to see him but unfortunately, as she was making her exit, Joel (the monster) grabbed her and and terrorized her in the hospital's family room (this was at night when no one was around). 

 

A series of flashbacks showed how Joel groomed and manipulated Lauren (for sex) and eventually assaulted her when she refused his sexual demands.

 

As Joel keeps her captive in the deserted family room, he discovers that Lauren is pregnant. What will happen next?

On the lighter side, Tim and Steve concoct a story about finding the Tommy O. bust and return it to the hotel. Despite their flimsy story, it looks like the gormless duo are off the hook and even receive season tickets from Tommy (which are snatched by Cassie).

Poor Toyah. First she's told she's pregnant. Then she's told she's not pregnant. Then she's told she may have cancer. All this is going on as Nick and Toyah continue to keep their legover incident a secret. Toyah even attends an Altovalent 'meet and greet' ('upload and download'?) where Amy is chatting with the Altovalentines including head honcho Willow.

D.S. Swain's daughter (Betsy) is doing an internship at the factory under the watchful eye of Carla who confiscates Betsy's phone and is being a hard taskmaster. 

Over at the Brains Trust HQ, Sarah quickly confesses to the coppers that she tried to bribe Nathan with 10K of Gary's money. Having folded faster than a flimsy origami, Sarah effectively drops Gary in it who is then forced to tell Maria the truth. Maria is not happy.

Kit continues to be angry and hostile towards Bernie. He also seems happy enough to drive a wedge between the Bernie and the twins (Paul and Gemma). However it seems that his rule-bending intervention into Gemma's shoplifting incident has been figured out by Craig who, in turn, tells his gossipy Mum, Beth.

I believe congratulations are in order for Leanne who, after an Altovalent shaming ordeal, has now been promoted to Level 6. What's next? (Level 7, one presumes). Seems that Leanne's next job is to recruit Amy. One hopes that Amy will resist and that resistance is not futile.

And now for some lines from the week that was...

Tim to Debbie re: the punters who stole the bust of Tommy O:

"Some people are thick as pudding"

(Look no further than Tim and Steve)

Toyah to Leanne re: questions about her one-night stand pregnancy:

"What am I? The Weatherfield Bike?"

(Whoa! Let's keep this sophisticated)

Rowan to Leanne who is blindfolded:

"Are you ready?"

(...for 'Pin the tail on the donkey'?)

Rowan to Leanne:

"Do you want fix yourself?"

(you mean like the Coldplay song?)

Rowan to Leanne:

"You are now a Level 6"

(congratulations, here's the keys to the Level 6 washroom)

 

Leanne to Toyah:

"I've now reached a higher level of consciousness"

(so, you've realized that Altovalent is a crock?)

 

Evelyn to Roy re: Seve Ballesteros:
"Nobody carried off a V neck sweater and slacks like he did"

(I hear he used to wear two pairs of pants - in case he got a hole in one)

 

Leanne to Amy during the Altovalent meet and greet:

"Willow's great isn't she?"

(the tree or the Altovalent CEO?)

 

Sam to Toyah re: Altovalent:

"I thought you said it was all codswallop"

(yes, but as codswallop goes, it's some of the best)

 

Lauren confronts Joel about his vicious assault:

"You left me for dead"

(Will Joel get his comeuppance?)

***

Well, fellow Loyal Level Sixers, so ends another week. The Olympics have once again sent Corrie watchers scurrying to find the correct broadcast time. Please check your local listings and, as always, thanks so much for stopping by. Have a great week!