your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...
You must admit that Rob (evil though he may be) is one fine physical specimen.
Just look how he sailed through his kidney operation, kidnapped a copper, dumped his girlfriend, survived a fall down the stairs, managed to steal a car, and is now on the run.
Most of us couldn't do any of that... even with two kidneys.
This all happened after he agreed to donate a kidney to his sister (Carla) but only after D.S. Swain agreed to get his prison sentence dropped. However, after the operation, Swain reneged on the deal. Rob switched to a Plan B and had his prison guard/girlfriend kidnap Carla (recovering from her kidney operation). Rob then forced Swain to help him escape and avoid returning to jail - or Carla would be left to die.
Swain secretly called Kit for help but Rob found out and clobbered Swain with a cellphone (android probably). He then confronted Carla, broke up with his girlfriend/prison guard, and left - but not before Carla managed to follow him and push him down the stairs.
Lisa Swain (with her head injuries) arrived and pronounced Rob dead.
But Rob wasn't dead. He managed to steal a car and is now on the run and trying to get his son (Bobby) to help him by getting him some cash.
Phew!
Elsewhere in Weatherfiled General Hospital, Kevin is recovering from successful testicle surgery (that's two words I never thought I'd write in this blog). Jack is a little freaked out but Debbie is a tower of strength and Abi... well Abi has another PTSD episode and Debs is there to help.
Newcomers to the Street (the charm-challenged duo of Mick and Lou) are oppressively chummy with Ches and Gemma and thoroughly obnoxious. Worse still, Mick recognizes Ches as the fella who put sugar in the gas tank of his van and now wants revenge. Yuck!
Poor Max is banged up in prison after confessing to police that he was the arsonist who torched the Platt house.
David is desperately trying to source the cash needed to pay Harvey so Harv and his thugs will leave his family alone but it's not going well. It looks like Harvey may have enlisted Andy (David's old prison chum) to exact revenge on David.
Meanwhile, David and Shona are worried about Max's safety in prison and want Max to be transferred to a Scottish prison. Pinstriped kilts and haggis dinners? No thank you.
Todd tries to bring Billy along to a singles tea get-together but Billy is not ready and runs away.
And, guess what? Eileen's half-sister Julie is back! I wonder what she's doing in Weatherfield...
And now for a few lines from the week that was:
Nick to David after learning about his recent thefts:
"You're a hairdresser not a career criminal"
(gives the the term 'dye job' a whole new meaning)
Rob to Mandy after learning about Lisa's double cross:
"That tart Swain has stitched me up"
(that's D.S. Tart, if you please)
Kev to Debbie after she asks how he's doing:
"I'm having a testicle chopped off, how do you think I feel?"
(so not having a 'ball', I guess?)
Carla to Rob's prison guard/girlfriend:
"Are you one of those deluded, sad cows?"
(maybe, who wants to know?)
Carla again to Mandy:
"He's a cold-hearted, vicious murderer"
(and those are his good points)
Mick to Lou:
"Sorry, I'm a clumsy, useless prat sometimes"
(no argument there)
Lou to Mick:
"Sorry, I'm an angry, gobby cow sometimes"
(no argument there)
David describes to Andy the fictitious bloke who dragged him away from the getaway car:
"He looked like a shaved orangutan"
(could be anyone on the Street)
Kit explains to Lisa what happened to Rob:
"He must have come back from the dead and done a runner"
(so he's a vampire?)
Deb to Kev:
"Take care of your soft parts"
(his brain?)
Sally
disabused Tim of the idea that he gets to take home his removed ball:
"You
think you can put it under your pillow for the testicle fairy?"
(wait, there's a testicle fairy?)
Todd to two gay punters at the afternoon tea dance after Billy bottles it and leaves:
"Sorry, he's a... Vicar"
(no need to apologize. Could happen to anyone)
***
Well fellow kidney kolleagues, so ends another week. Nice to see Julie is back. Thanks so much for spending time here at the Hip. All the best and have a great week!
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