Bill-uminati

this post makes reference to the May 26th episode on CBC. Please govern yourself accordingly.

Or, to put it another way, Bill sees the light. After a few trips to the racetrack, a few drinks at the Rovers (and Audrey's financial help for Bill's construction business), it seems like Bill Webster and Audrey Roberts are toast. Not even the sage, sensible Ted can patch things up.

The happy couple have been torn asunder not by that ill-fated 'booze cruise' to France but by irreconcilable differences. At least that's what Audrey is saying. Apparently, the fun-loving, monosyllabic Bill is not her "soul mate". That's news to me. Since when is Audrey in search of a sensitive partner to share her secret love of opera and the fine points of a discount perm?

Consider the rogue's gallery of Audrey's past paramours. Alf Roberts was more of a sole mate than soul mate (He loved a nice bit of fish, did our Alf). His biggest assets were his wallet and his status as Mayor of Weatherfield. Was Audrey pining for a soul mate back then? Not on your life. She was too busy swanning around in floppy hats and cutting ribbons at supermarket openings. She may not have regarded Alf as a soul mate, but he certainly was a cash cow mate. After all, Audrey eventually badgered old Alf into buying her a hair salon.

Then there was Fred Elliot (do I detect a pattern here?), the larger-than-life butcher with a soft spot for Audrey and a tendency to propose to anything that moved. Fred carried a torch for Audrey right up to the moment he dropped dead on a shag carpet in her hallway. Was Fred a soul mate? No, but Audrey certainly considered him as a potential partner not because he was sympatico but rather because of his financial.. um... largesse.

So who would qualify as a soul mate for Audrey? Ted Paige perhaps? He's got all the right qualities: refined, fit, cultured, sensitive, caring. There's only one small problem: he's gay.