Thursday, October 22, 2009

Hobbs v. Dobbs

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the October 22 episode on CBC

M'Lord, if it please the court, I would like to cite the case of one Aunty Pam Hobsworth v. Miss Jackie Dobbs. As you may know, both individuals have decided to unilaterally locate themselves at the location known as 'the Old Rectory', a charming squat formerly owned by Jack and Vera Duckworth, and now the property of Mr. Tyrone Dobbs and Miss Molly Compton.

M'lud will surely recall Ms Dobbs' extensive and wide-ranging list of prior convictions as well as her extensive stay with residents of Her Majesty's Penal System. In addition, Ms Dobbs has subjected her son, Tyrone, to untenable and unreasonable rigours, most recently involving an individual known only as 'Scary Brian', a one thousand pound debt and a boob job. (Please excuse my salty language, my Lord)

As for Aunty Pam Hobsworth, her presence down the market is well known to punters in search of Japanese watches that instantly commit hari kari, deviled ham which is distinctly bedevilled, knock-off designer shirts by Georgino Armanti and explosive bio-fuel. As a footnote, m'lud, let the record show that the explosive biofuel left Jack Duckworth, loo-less.

M'Lord, I put it you that the case of Hobsworth v. Dobbs is deletrious in the extreme to the fragile union of Tyrone and Molly. If it please the court, I urge that measures be taken immediately to remove one or both from the premises with all due haste.

I rest my case.

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