spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the November 10 episode on CBC
How in the name of Terry Duckworth does Gary Windass do it? (performance enhancing drugs? - ed).
Maybe I should be more specific. How does Gary Windass manage to be even remotely interesting to women? And not just Rosie Webster whom he seems to have seduced, bedded and dumped with the velocity of a world-class sprinter. (an Olympic-class cad - ed) Now he's got his eyes on Tina and, even more amazingly, it seems to be working. She appears interested!
Is it his handsome features or fashion sense (red is his colour - ed)? His career path (straight to the job centre and back -ed)? His bad boy image (it's not an image - ed). Maybe it's his witty banter. Allow me to paraphrase his nuanced seduction prose...
TINA! TINA! TEEEEENA!
How could any woman resist that? (that's what vaccines are for - ed). And yet, against all odds, Tina seems quite bewitched by the boy-waster. All he has to do is show up on her door step, push his way into the house and wave a tea kettle around and Tina turns to jelly.
What gives? She's an intelligent young woman. Besides, if she's really looking for a skinny felon with no job and an obnoxious personality, she's already struck gold with David Platt. Why give up steak for hamburger? (Ask Ashley Peacock - ed). Of course, now that Gary has masterminded a heist, it will only add to his Ronnie Biggs' allure. On the other hand, if the coppers find out about the copper, he'll be headed to the big house (Audrey's place? - ed). Maybe he'll even get to share a cell with literary enthusiast and kidnapper John Stape. Now that's what I would call poetic justice.