A round-the world dream vacation with Norris? Sounds delightful. There's only one thing better: a round the world dream vacation without Norris. Still, Mary does seem quite taken (taken ill, you mean - ed) by the bespectacled fussbudget and, now that Mother has gone to a better place (the legion? -ed), perhaps Mary and Norris will finally leave the surly bonds of Weatherfield for exotic horizons. I'll bet Rita can't wait to get a postcard or two from Norris...
Machu Picchu, Peru
This high altitude doesn't agree with me at all. It's like when I climb the ladder to clean the shop windows at The Kabin. You know how it always makes me feel lightheaded. All very unsettling. Apparently the Incas started this mountain city in 1430 AD. Given all that time, you'd think they'd have thought to put in some decent toilets and a restaurant that serves roast beef and Yorkshire Pudding. And they called themselves a civilization!
This isn't at all what I expected. No sign of Humphrey Bogart or a nice pub where we can get a cheese sandwich and a half of lager. Desperately wanted to get a haircut but the locals thought I said 'Berber' instead of barber. Well, you can just imagine the confusion. Took all afternoon to sort out. I wanted to get a nice stew for dinner but Mary insisted on trying the "local cuisine". The waiter suggested couscous. I didn't like the sound of that at all. Just give me a nice shepherd's pie and a cup of tea, English tea, if you please.