Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Kirk Sutherland, online gigolo

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the January 19 episode on CBC

It's enough to drive single women back to the relative safety of scuzzy, badly-lit singles bars: Kirk Sutherland is dating online. Kinda takes the harmony out of eHarmony, doesn't it? It's easy, claims Weatherfield's own Steve Jobs (you mean Steve Job-Centre, don't you - ed). You simply post a personal ad on an online dating site and write anything you want. When the deceived young lady shows up at the appointed rendez-vous location (the local kennel? - ed) and realizes that Kirk is neither an astronaut nor a race car driver (although he could be a race car skiver - ed), ol Kirkie simply turns on the charm. Or so he says. Fortunately, it's probably relatively easy to spot Kirk's on-line 'come hither' pitch. I suspect it probably goes something like this:

Racecar driver/astronaut seeks woman.
You are: fun-loving and fit. You like long walks on the beach - with a dog, and like to spend evenings at home with a take-away, a Matrix DVD (not the sequel, it was rubbish) and a dog.
I am: a race car driver/astronaut and a SWF (Single Weatherfield Fella). I like romantic dinners and paintball (but mainly paintball). Intelligence not important. (mine not yours). Send me an email and a photo (of your favourite dog). I don't mind FWB (Fox Terriers/Whippets/Beagles).

Thanks so much for the comments especially re: Gail's dad, Ted. I completely forgot about Ted. It seems that well over 50% of Gail's family has conveniently overlooked the fact that Gail is in jail waiting to be tried for murder. Lucky Gail with just David (the witness tamperer) standing shoulder-to-shoulder... with himself on visiting day. Even Nick is too busy to stop by. How can things possibly get worse?

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