Thursday, December 15, 2011

Okay Stape, try explaining this...

spoiler alert: this post makes reference to the Dec 14 episode on CBC

John Stape is busy working alone in the Underworld, digging up the cement floor with a hammer and shovel. He finally strikes pay dirt and finds the rolled up carpet with you-know-what inside. Then Fiz bursts in. How on earth will slippery Stape, king of all liars, explain this? Allow me to offer two ideas:

Option Number One:
"Ah, well it's very simple you see. Many months ago I took this old carpet in to the dry cleaner on Viaduct Street to get it all nice and clean for the baby's room. Anyway, it seems that at about the same time, Owen Armstrong took a rug into the same dry cleaner. It was very similar in size and shape.

Anyway, I guess the silly old dry cleaner got the receipts mixed up and when Owen went to pick up his rug, the dry cleaner gave him ours by mistake. So anyway Owen takes the rug and keeps it in his van. Then he starts rebuilding Underworld and, as part of the traditional builder's good luck ceremony, he decides to toss a carpet into the cement floor. It's a well-known tradition among builders, kind of a superstition, called 'rug luck'.

So anyway, Owen has this rug in his van (our rug) and throws it into the cement -- only it's not his rug, it's mine.  And I just happened to find it while I was digging here by myself. What a stroke of luck! I'll get it cleaned and we can put it in Hope's room..."


Option Number Two:
"Oh my God, it's the body of Tony Gordon (wrapped in a rug that looks very similar but is not the same as that old rug we had) !" 

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