Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Rosie Webster guide to splitting up any couple (patent pending)

please note: this post makes reference to the Feb 28 episode on CBC

Blanche's Polish Hip is proud to bring you this fake Coronation Street exclusive. Even though she failed to break up Sally and Jeff, Rosie still thinks that her patented method of breaking up couples by pretending to have sex with one of them and then claiming that the person "tried it on" is brilliant. She can't wait to try this technique on some other famous couples. Here's how she would break up......

Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
Rosie waits until Angelina has left the house to make a movie (or adopt a child, whichever comes first), then Rosie shows up in a sexy tankini and starts telling Brad how she's always fancied him. Brad tries to escape but Rosie throws a hot cup of coffee on Brad's pants - just as Angelina walks in the door. "He was trying it on," claims Rosie. Mission accomplished. (Jason threatens to beat up Brad Pitt).

David Cameron & Nick Clegg Coalition Government
Rosie waits until Nick Clegg has left the Prime Minister's office. She then shows up in a tube top and hot pants and starts telling David Cameron how she's always fancied him and his policies (whatever they are, omg, lol!). Cameron tries to escape but Rosie throws a cup of hot coffee on his briefs - just as Nick Clegg returns from caucus. "He was trying to forge a new coalition," claims Rosie. Mission Accomplished. (Jason threatens to beat up David Cameron, as soon as he finds out who he is).

Rosie waits until The Edge leaves Ireland. She then shows up at the U2 house in a bikini and starts telling Bono (not Sonny Bono like the last time) how she's always fancied him. Bono tries to escape but Rosie throws a cup of hot coffee on his leather pants - just as The Edge returns. "He was trying it on," claims Rosie."And he certainly found what he was looking for!"  Mission Accomplished. (Jason beats up Bono but pays for his expensive glasses).

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