Monday, July 8, 2013

Top 10 evil deeds of David Platt (and Gail's excuses for them)

please note: no spoilers were used in the preparation of this post

Since we're heading into a week featuring David Platt the psycho, I thought it would be helpful to provide a handy top ten list of David's most heinous deeds... along with Gail's rationalizations for poor David's behaviour (after all he's really a good lad, isn't he?).

1. Hides Ecstasy pills in doll belonging to Bethany (his niece) which Bethany later eats
(Gail's explanation: it was just a harmless game of hide and seek)

2. Loosens scaffolding bolts at the builder's yard, causing Jason to fall and almost die
(Gail's explanation: Jason should be more careful. Builders' yards can be dangerous)

3 Pushes Gail down the stairs.
(Gail's explanation: I was in a hurry to get downstairs and he was just trying to help)

4. Attacks Ken Barlow in the street
(Gail's explanation: well, we've all had enough of his long-winded newspaper columns, haven't we?) 

5. Persuades Gary to rob Audrey's house leading to Ted’s heart attack
(Gail's explanation: it's Audrey's fault for having a house which is so attractive to burglars)

6. Manipulates hapless Joe by supplying him with illegal painkillers and then cutting him off.
(Gail's explanation: he was just trying to wean Joe off the drugs)

7. Assaults Tina in the flat she shared with Graeme
(Gail's explanation: not David's fault; it was the seizures)

8. Hits Graeme while driving Audrey's car
(Gail's explanation: not David's fault; it was the seizures and why does Audrey need a car anyway?)

9. Breaks into Nick's apartment and destroys it.
(Gail's explanation: he was just doing some renovation work and wanted to surprise Nick. What a nice brother!)

10. Allows Tracy to seduce him and ends up having sex with her
(Gail's explanation: now that is evil)

No comments:

Post a Comment