Saturday, January 7, 2017

Coronation Street Catch-Up: the 55 inches of pure viewing pleasure edition

a look back at last week on Canada's Coronation Street.

Unlike Vegas, what happens in Leeds does not stay in Leeds.

Gary, Bethany and Faye are supposed to be going to a concert in Leeds but Bethany sees the chance to make a play for Gary. Her plan fails when Faye catches Bethany preening on Gary's hotel bed like a teenage sex kitten in an Eartha Kitt TV special.

The only solution? Bribe Faye by giving her ready access to alcohol. Bottom line: Faye's in trouble for being drunk. Bethany's in trouble for getting Faye drunk, and Gary's in trouble for not providing adequate supervision.

This leaves Bethany still pining for that unknown older man (hint, he has more red hair than Luke and works at the gym).

In non-Platt news, Aidan finally declares his love to Maria but I fear it's too little too late. Besides Aidan doesn't have the bottle to break up with Eva. And, to add to Maria's woes, the judge in her fake marriage case, gives her a one-year sentence. (No word on Pablo's court case).

Did I mention that it's Christmas on the Street?

Steve's plans to give Michelle a 55" surprise fall asunder when Tim and Craig break the large flat-screen TV. A replacement TV is procured but unfortunately Sally thinks it's hers. Which reinforces Tim's old adage: "Think globe-al, Act local".

Another great Christmas tradition is the Trivial Pursuit game at the Barlow's where Peter and Nick are at odds over the affections of Leanne.

Gemma commits a massive faux pas by posting Mary's search for her lost son on social media, #megablunder.

And, last but not least, Phelan is munching grapes in hospital and blackmailing the gormless Andy to do his bidding: stealing tablets (computers) and tablets (tablets) to provide the Sinister Slaphead with cash.

And now for some lines for the week that was:

Johnny to Aidan re: Maria:
"She's got more baggage than an airport carousel"
(but she won't be flying anywhere for a while)

Craig describe the TV to Sally:
"55 inches of pure viewing pleasure"
(and the TV is pretty good too)

Phelan to Andy:
"I own you"
(unlike the flats which he did not own and did not exist)

Faye finds Bethany doing a sex kitten impression on Gary's hotel bed:
"Oh my God, what do you think you're doing?"
(trying to get off with my Mom's boyfriend. What does it look like?) 

Text message from Phelan to Andy:
"Looking forward to payday. Don't let me down or else"
(What?  No cute emoticons?)

Norris paints a bleak picture of Maria's jail experience:
"She could end up as a shaven head psychopath's significant other"
(now that's something to look forward to)

Tracy to Adam:
"Here he is: Cocky Balboa"
(aka Sylvester Testosterone)


Well, faithful fans, so ends another week. Poor Maria. One year in jail for a fake marriage? Sounds a little harsh. Maybe we'll have some good news next week. Here's hoping and here's hoping you all have a wonderful 2017. Thanks for stopping by and Happy New Year!

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