Call them Legally Bland. Sally Metcalfe's ersatz Dream Team of legal bunglers have successfully managed to get poor Sal sent down after being found guilty on all charges while Devious Duncan goes free.
Where to begin?
Tim's lack of interest in personal hygiene is cited (objection, your honour). Gina as a character witness makes Sally sound like Weatherfield's Mata Hari. Sophie convinces her Mom to get sick in order to delay proceedings so they can find CCTV footage proving that Sal was at a hospital rather than having a legover with Duncan (Sal's new cellmate, Abi, is happy to oblige by punching Sally).
All for naught I'm afraid. Paula does her best but to no avail. All that remains is Sally's sentencing hearing. To make matters worse, Gina is having doubts about Sally's innocence and tells Tim.
Meanwhile, Brian is having his own problems with an officious, snotty, greasy pole climbing assistant head named Phil (no doubt short for 'phil of himself').
Brian is subjected to cruel and unusual workplace demands like writing a Nativity play with a twist (how about the three wise men turn into vampires?) More seriously, when Phil excludes Hope, Brian intervenes on behalf of Ty and Fiz and finds himself at odds with Phil.
Mary and Angie are told by police that a body has been found and it may be Jude. Fortunately, it is not Jude and it seems that he is alive and well and draining Angie's bank account.
Johnny agrees to give Kate the money she needs for the fertility clinic in order for Kate to have a baby. Rana pretends to be pleased but she's not keen. Gemma breaks up with Spike (after Spike is arrested) and reconciles with Chesney but any romance is stalled because of Emma and Ches' budding relationship.
And now for a few lines from the week that was:
"Nobody can know everything"
(yes but it would be helpful if someone knew something)
Duncan's lawyer to the court re: Sally:
"She is no stranger to the extramarital bed"
"She is no stranger to the extramarital bed"
(you mean there's only one bed for everyone in Weatherfield?)
Brian brags to school parents:
"They used to call me Superhead"
"They used to call me Superhead"
(that may have been due to the dimensions of his noggin)
Chesney objects to Emma's suggestion:
"I don't want a spray tan"
"I don't want a spray tan"
(but orange is the new Ches)
Brian explains his Nativity play to Cathy:
"It's an allegory for Brexit"
Brian explains his Nativity play to Cathy:
"It's an allegory for Brexit"
(so, no happy ending?)
Gemma seeks consolation with pork:
"Bacon has never let me down"
Gemma seeks consolation with pork:
"Bacon has never let me down"
(thank you for being a food)
***
Well, Returning Rovers, so ends another week. A miserable week for Sally and her family but they really are their own worst enemies. Let's hope for better news next week. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week!
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