Coronation Street Catch Up: the giant floral stapler edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...

Goodbye Norris, may your sweater vest rest in peace. Alas Coronation Street's famous fussbudget is no more. He has passed on to that Kabin in the sky.

News of Nozzer's demise is met with sadness on the Street. He was living with his partner (Frieda) at the Stillwater retirement home  (slogan: "you can check in any time you want, but you can also leave") where he spent his time spying on Claudia and Charles and doing what he does best: snooping and gossiping. He will, perhaps, be missed.

In the wake (so to speak) of Norris' passing, an ugly brouhaha erupts as former wife Mary, Frieda and Gemma clash over funeral arrangements. Seems a giant floral stapler will be an (ahem) 'staple' of the funeral service. Apart from that, who knows?

Other news? Well, meet the new Max - definitely not the same as the old Max. The son of David is proving to be a chip off the old block as he clashes with teacher Daniel at school and shows a Platt-like propensity for academic non-achievement.

Ty is in a bad way. Alina has left him and is heading back to Romania. She says she's not pregnant but then why is she ordering tomato juice at the airport bar? Meanwhile Ty is trying to win back Fiz but his efforts fall flat and, besides, Fiz is enjoying her new-found beau, Phil. Even worse, Ty reveals his favourite song is an S Club 7 tune. Oh the humanity!

Kelly is trying to cope with the new reality of facing an extended time in prison following the guilty verdict and joins a support group in jail.  Over at the tat shop Gary is confronted by an angry Sharon who is not well pleased by what has happened to Kelly and blames Gary for not looking out for her.

Things are not going well over at Speed Daal where someone has hacked Alya's business bank account and a tarantula makes an unwelcome guest appearance at the restaurant (give that spider a BAFTA for 'Best insect in a soap opera').

And now a few lines from the week that was:

Frieda to Mary re: her flower-based tribute to Norris:
"You can take your giant floral stapler and you can... "

(please, no sign language profanity!)

Evelyn to Ty:
"You've got enough brass in your neck to make a euphonium"

(and create pandemonium during Fiz's date)

David to Shona re: new Max's poor academic performance:
"If he's not careful, he's going to end up like me"

(that should be more than enough to motivate Max)

Ches to Gemma re: Norris:
"He was a right, nosy old fusspot"

(a touching eulogy)

Mary to Ken re: Norris:
"It was like losing a limb, albeit an infuriating one"

(another poignant tribute)

Rita to Jenny re: Norris
"I've lost one of the best friends in my life"

(Poor Reet)

Mary to George re: her mourning attire:
"That's a mantilla, a manatee is a sea cow"

(one can be excused for the confusion)

***

Well, fellow Norrisphiles (or not), so ends another week. Poor old Nozzer has left us while new Max has joined us. Can't help but wonder how Norris' funeral will play out. I guess we'll find out. Thanks for dropping by and visiting. Hope you have a great week.