Coronation Street Catch Up: the Anything But Chardonnay (ABC) edition

 your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street

Could somebody please grab that crutch from Craig and burn it?

OK, it's a little drastic, but it would certainly speed up that laborious storyline (and end it). Elsewhere, life goes on as young Joseph (now safe at home) finally confesses to Bernie that Clint gave him money to keep him quiet so Clint could claim the reward money. Bernie subsequently confronts Clint but the smooth-tongued sixties daddio manages to keep Bernie onside by giving her half the reward cash.

Meanwhile, the Saga of the Skint continues chez Chesney. Joseph's dissatisfaction with the financial status of Ches/Gemma Inc. is indicative of the lack of cash available to support the quads plus Joseph et al. Turns out one minimum wage job at a kebab shop does not a Bezos make and, even when Dev offers the family some tasty expired groceries, Ches is too proud to accept.

The deception continues over at the Metcalfe house as Tim steadfastly refuses to tell Sally the truth about his heart condition although he's quite at ease chatting to Peter Barlow and to Aggie about it. But the issue may have come to a head (heart?) as Tim collapses while over at Aggie's house just as Sally bursts in.

In the local halls of education, the issue of upskirting is top of mind for Amy who takes up the cause and winds up suspended. Summer subsequently writes an eloquent post on social media which goes viral. The lack of action on the part of the school administration prompts a student walkout and protest. A sympathetic Daniel can't resist the chance to call up his colleagues at the Weatherfield Gazette and let them know.

Yasmeen is still angry with Alya and Zeedan and she is even more furious when she learns that Zee has been secretly working at Speed Daal. Stu tries to stay out of it. At the Rovers, Jenny and her toy boy are still going strong. Maybe a little too strong...

And, yes, Craig is working feverishly on the mystery of the crutch and its inscription which makes Emma and Faye nervous as the crutch belongs to the pensioner whom Faye hit in her car and who subsequently passed away.

Asha's sign during the upskirt school protest:

"Who wears short shorts?"

(song copyright "The Royal Teens" circa 1957)

Sally relays her drink preference to Abi:
"ABC: Anything But Chardonnay"

(what's wrong with Chardonnay?)

Craig to Mary after he sees her rehearsing with the sword-equipped Bob, talented actor and driving instructor:
"He still had his massive weapon out in public"

(surely that must be illegal?)

Peter is incredulous as Tim says he's arranged his burial:
"Who arranges their own funeral?"

(Count Dracula?)

Sally complains about Tim's lack of intimacy:
"We've not had sexy time for ages"

(check your Google Calendar)

Bernie to Ches re: Joseph using the old school computers:
"They call them craptops for a reason"

(could it be because they're crap?) 

Craig resists Faye's suggestion to focus on baked goods:
"A man can only bake so much bread"

(try diversifying into scones)

***

Well, fellow Chardonnay connoisseurs, so ends another week as Sally discovers that Tim's not having an affair but is having a health emergency.  Meanwhile the fake Joseph runaway story seems to be unraveling as Bernie discovers Joseph's hush money. Thanks so much for spending some time here at the Hip and have a great week!