your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...
He was a magical cross between David Brent and Evil Elvis Costello, but alas, poor Rufus perished in a watery (chlorinated) grave. May his plush bathrobe (and him) rest in peace.
The cause of death? A bad case of Stephen Reid, businessman, Canadian and serial killer.
It was a simple and quick death. Stephen arrived late at night chez Rufus. He pretended to agree to Rufus' usurious terms for the Nipper Snapper profits. They opened a few bottles of vino while sitting by the indoor pool. Stephen popped some LSD into Rufus' glass. Steve-o steered a wobbly Rufus into the pool and then kept Rufus' head under water until he expired.
Exit Rufus.
All this happened after Paul stole Rufus' car (Rufus was unaware) and before Michael showed up to talk to Rufus about a job offer.
Michael was in a bit of a bind, having quit his job at Underworld to accept Rufus' job offer (no thanks to Ronnie's questionable advice). Stephen initially tells Michael to get lost and hires Nina to replace him. However, later on, Stephen changes his mind and offers Michael a promotion (to Junior Manager).
As an aside, I would love to see an Underworld Org chart one day, I'm sure it looks like an MC Escher print.
But I digress.
The other big news is that Damon is a free man. Looks like justice has not been served. The drug dealer gets off on a technicality (thanks Dee Dee!) Now that he's back on the street, he's ready to continue working with his crack legal team (Dee Dee and Adam) and increase his one-night stand with Sarah to a two-night stand (or more).
Sarah is not keen, She thought Damon would be locked away after their impetuous legover, but no such luck. Looks like they'll be.. ahem.. bumping into each other all the time.
Elsewhere, Roy has adopted Freddie the dog. Looks like we have another BAFTA-winning actor on our hands (and Roy as well). However all is not well with Roy. After a brief Salsa lesson with Evelyn at Glenda's new performing arts academy, he takes a funny turn. Not sure what's wrong but one hopes it's nothing serious.
After securing a loan from George, Glenda opens her new Little Big Shotz franchise and has her first drama class. So far, so good. But, as for the long-term financial viability of the franchise... only time will tell.
At the hospital, Ryan is starting to perk up thanks to visits from Alya but then discovers that Alya only likes him as a friend, while he declares his love for her.
No matter, Daisy has a plan to bring Crystal to the hospital to cheer up Ryan and she says she looks forward to Ryan starting his DJ job in Ibiza. After Crystal's visit, Ryan says he is finally ready to see his injuries. Except that Crystal is lying. She can't deal with Ryan's injuries and she no longer wants him to have the DJ job.
Adding to the torment is the fact that Justin the stalker/acid thrower pleads not guilty in court.
Looks like Jackson, Faye and Miley are getting along nicely and Craig is trying to be supportive and helpful. But are Jackson and Faye getting too close?
Beth continues to secretly see Marco and their rendezvous ends in a lip lock. Poor Kirkie!
And now for a few lines from the week that was:
Evelyn to Hope:
"My twerking days are long gone"
(That's probably for the best)
Kirk to Beth:
"I'm desperate for some new underpants"
(thanks for sharing)
Evelyn to Roy as they begin the Salsa lesson:
"Don't just stand there like a meerkat on lookout, assume the position"
(...for dancing?)
Roy as Evelyn enters the cafe:
"Evelyn?"
Evelyn to Roy:
"No, it's Bruce Springsteen"
Evelyn to Ty
"You've got the backbone of a barm cake"
(and the fortitude of a custard slice)
Damon to Sarah, Nick and Leanne:
"Guess who got acquitted?"
(Jack the Ripper?)
Eileen to George re: his ill-advised loan to Glenda:
"Your money, your funeral"
(your funeral parlour, to be precise)
Michael to Stephen:
"You're a smug, arrogant, melt"
(melt?)
Stephen to Michael re: success in business:
"You feel like you could do anything. Like you're king of the world"
(so Rufus would be... the Titanic?)
***
Well, Weatherfield wanderers, so ends another week. Thanks for stopping by, have a great week and Happy Mother's Day!
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