your one stop update on what happened last week on Canada's Coronation Street...
It was the week of the Stiffy© on Coronation Street.
Well, almost.
It seems that George has won the most prestigious award in undertaking (it's like the Emmy for people who work with dead people - except that winners don't give acceptance speeches, they give eulogies).
Anyhoo, when someone calls to tell George that he's won a Stiffy, Christina answers the phone and turns it down on his behalf.
George is angry and upset about losing the Nobel Prize for corpse handlers but he calms down and forgives Christina, sealing their budding romance with a lip lock in the funeral parlour.
That's about the only happy highlight from a downbeat week.
Chez Todd and Theo, the tension continues as Theo loses a big contract because he happened to sleep with the Pete the gaffer. As a result, Gary also loses out on the contract and he's not well pleased and parts ways with Theo.
Theo seems to oscillate between anger and self pity and Todd continues to be the butt of Theo's ongoing nuttiness. So, when Theo gives Todd a car, Theo goes psycho when Harry spills a milkshake on the new upholstery. Terrified Todd is forced to get the car cleaned and then manages to accidentally damage the car. One dreads the reaction from his scary scaffolder partner.
Chez Lisa, Carla is still absent and Becky takes the opportunity to worm her way into Lisa and Betsy's good books. Becky convinces Betsy to leave Weatherfield and come to Spain with her. Since Betsy seems to spend most of her time skiving, I'm sure she'll be able to do much the same in Spain. Small problem: Lisa is unaware of the devious plan because Becky hasn't convinced her to join her and Betsy in Spain - or even told her about the plan.
Over at the Bistro, it's another day, another punch up. It's like the UFC... with appetizers.
This time it's a harebrained scheme cooked up by Gemma and Bernie to provoke Naomi and get video of her going ballistic.
Naomi (as you may recall) was the obnoxious lout(ess) who berated and assaulted Asha. Gemma and Bernie's goofball plan works (kinda) except that Dev pops in to confront Naomi and blames her for causing Asha's suicide attempt. Naomi is charged for assault but Asha is mortified by Dev's outburst which is captured on video and posted on social media. As a result, Asha leaves Dev's house and Dev tells Bernie to leave his house.
But that's not all that's happening at the Bistro.
Cassie invites Fiz and Ty to dine. It's Cassie's attempt to mend fences but it all goes wrong when Cassie tries to help Ty slice his pizza and the deep dish delicacy ends up on the floor. Cassie is dispatched swiftly but the experience is quite embarrassing for the wheelchair-bound Ty. Even more so when a couple of lowlifes steal Fiz's purse and he's unable to do anything about it.
The skint duo of Abi and Carl continue to explore ways to make some cash. Abi decides that she doesn't want to squeeze money out of Kev through a divorce and retracts her demand for half of Kev's assets (much to the disappointment of Carl). Now in desperate straits, Abi considers getting in on Carl's car-stealing business but as she stakes out a car, Debbie is hiding and ready to video the theft.
It's a lean week for good lines but here's a precious few from the week that was:
George to Christina re: the undertaker achievement award:
"They give you a gold grave diggers tie pin"
(they give the runner-up two gold grave diggers tie pins)
Betsy to Becky after learning that Becky's returning to Spain:
"Have a nice life Mum. I'm glad you're not dead"
(I wonder Hallmark makes card for that?)
Roy to Lisa:
"Do you still love Becky?"
(Can I get back to you?)
George reads his phone message to the Rovers punters:
"OMG, I've got a Stiffy"
(if it lasts more than four hours, see Doctor Gaddas)
***
Well, fellow Stiffy Supporters, so ends another week. There's not much fun on the Street these days but at least we have George's excellence in undertaking award... or would have if Christina hadn't turned it down for him. Oh well, I guess there's always next year. Thanks for stopping by and have a great week.
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